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[03 Dec 2004|10:45pm] [ mood | lonely ] i'm sad again.. :( why does this happen all the time? why can't i just be happy? when was the last time that i actually smiled because i was happy?.. when was the last time i smiled and really meant it?.. :( i cried over you just the other night.. i miss you.. thats why.. :( i still.. love you send me a note

daily ramblings [03 Dec 2004|10:01am] [ mood | optimistic ] it was my day off from work yesterday, so i decided that i should finally do some christmas shopping for the loved ones that i'm getting christmas presents for. haha. i spent 1 hour in one store, and after trying to decide what to buy i only ended up buying my dads present. lol. the shopping centre was packed with people, and this was from around 2pm in the afternoon. everyone was christmas shopping, and there seemed to be so many sales on too =P i was going to buy myself some levi's red tab gray/black denim 3/4 jeans, but then i remembered my plan with my friend to go to the sass & bide sale this weekend. haha. i am soo loving my sass & bide jeans :) they are the best and most comfortable jeans.. and i guess the high price i paid for the jeans was worth it! =D because they are so comfy and they can be worn with any top, the jeans can be worn dressy, or smart/casual. :) i'm working today, and i think im also going out with my friend after work, probably for dinner/drinks and maybe a movie. i'm trying to find a fulltime job while on uni holidays, so that i can earn some extra money instead of sitting on my bum all day and going out shopping spending more than i should be. lol. so far, ive applied for one job, and the applications close today, so hopefully i will get a phone call from them soon =P i wonder if anyone reads my blurty?? well, i started this blurty just so that i can have a private place to express my feelings, and thats still the purpose of this blurty journal, so if noone reads my thoughts.. its fine with me, because im not writing here for any other reason besides to express my thoughts, and keep a record of it. thats all for now :) send me a note

"it's been a long time.. i shouldn't have left you.." =P [01 Dec 2004|10:42am] [ mood | hopeful ] its been quite a while since my last entry. i've missed writing down my thoughts. send me a note

"it's been a long time.. i shouldn't have left you.." =P [01 Dec 2004|10:42am] [ mood | hopeful ] its been quite a while since my last entry. i've missed writing down my thoughts. send me a note

:( [25 Jul 2004|09:53pm] [ mood | drained ] i will always love you.. please don't ever forget that.. and when/if you ever come back to me one day, i am praying that we can have everything we ever had, and much more.. once again.. i have always loved you, and i still love you.. send me a note

i'm going to do this! what i want WILL HAPPEN!! [11 Jul 2004|06:45pm] [ mood | optimistic ] i'm sick and tired of sitting here and just waiting, waiting for answers. i'm going to make this happen, NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES! WHAT I WANT WILL HAPPEN! "any thing can be achieved by...." send me a note

spiraling into a world of hopelessness and depression [06 Jul 2004|02:29pm] [ mood | depressed ] after what i went through in 2000, which was indeed so long ago i promised myself that i would not allow myself to go through what i went through all over again.. but unfortunately, its happening to me all over again, except this time it hurts even more.. much more.. :( i have allowed myself to be buried even deeper this time. i just want to wake up one morning with everything back to the way it was.. down.. down.. down.. down.. i'm drowning, spiraling in a thick web that i can't get out of, the one person who i thought would be here to rescue me, is not here.. will they ever come back? i truly hope so.. send me a note

we'll get married one day ;) [05 Jun 2004|09:27pm] my friend pointed out to me yesterday as i was ripping my hair out over my stupid paranoid thoughts; "you'll probably get married one day." then i asked; "what makes you think/say that?" and she replies; "i don't know, you just both really suit each other" =D send me a note

2 years later you're still on my mind.. someday we'll know.. [22 May 2004|10:34pm] [ mood | the lyrics explain everything ] Ninety miles outside.. I can't stop driving I don't know why So many questions, I need an answer Two years later, you're still on my mind.. Someday we'll know Why Samson loved Delilah One day I'll go Dancing on the moon Someday you'll know that I was the one for you I want to take you to the end of the rainbow Watch the stars crash in the sea If I could ask God just one question Why aren't you here with me, tonight?.. Someday we'll know Why Samson loved Delilah One day I'll go Dancing on the moon Someday you'll know that I was the one for you.. send me a note

the last paragraph dedicated to *you* ;) [25 Apr 2004|09:46pm] [ mood | forever in love with *you* ;) ] i had the sudden urge to journal a few days ago, but then i suddenly couldn't be bothered. its scary to think of the fact that we could give everything we have, and everything we can give to someone, yet all they'll do is keep taking and taking, and we never even get a word from them which says that they care about us, that they appreciate the company, the friendship, the love. i don't know how i'm exactly feeling at the moment, but i do know for certain that i don't know how to explain the feeling, sometimes i feel great, other times not so great, sometimes i feel lonely, alone, scared, used, fed up, taken for granted. i don't really know where life is taking me at this very moment, i do however, know what i want to get out of my life. and i will get all of it someday, one day, someday. i received the new roster from work today and i'm happy that my hours have been shortened =P especially now that the new units of study will be beginning. speaking of which, i have an assignment due on tuesday which means that i will be cramming tomorrow :( good thing that the reflection paper is only 1500-2000 words, and not the usual 3000-4000 word essays that i used to get last year and previously. **i miss you so much, if only you knew how much i miss you, then you'll probably realise the reason why i don't regret anything, why i/we did what we did, and especially why we both felt that it was so right, its because we've always known, even from those first words we spoke to each other, our first embrace, our first kiss, we knew, and we still know, and we will forever know ;) *muah* send me a note

nothing in particular [19 Apr 2004|07:15pm] i was supposed to go to the art gallery today, but lazy me couldnt be bothered, and plus my train ticket was valid for the station before and not the station that i had to get off at to go to the gallery. lazy, lazy. today i sat in the university library and actually realised that i had to really start getting organised if i wanted to get good marks in this course. so i took out my until early today, empty diary/organiser (which now actually has stuff written down in it, lol =P), and then i realised that i should really get a move on since the paper which everyone has been yapping on about is actually due early next week for the peer assessment task. this is how unorganised i have been so far this semester, but hopefully all of that will change very soon, and marking my diary with whats due and when, i believe, a good start =D =P there was a "market day" today at university and i got myself 2 cute bags, a fendi bag and a louis vuitton bag! lol =P they're both really cute :) i just told myself, "never mind, this week is pay week!!" hehe which do you prefer, like/use, tickle, my space, or friendster? i'm just wondering, theres just so many of these sort of sites right now. send me a note

muah [16 Apr 2004|10:25pm] [ mood | hopeful ] I Miss You (G ;D) Soooo Very, Very Much!!!! *muah* ;) It's going to be You, Me, "Us" forevermore. I Love You *wink* *hugs* *muah* ;) send me a note

shopping =P [13 Apr 2004|10:15pm] it feels good to finally be earning enough money so that i can indulge myself and go SHOPPING!! =D my part-time job is very stressful, and there are many times that i have actually thought of quitting the job, but most of the time i try to think on the bright side, that i'm earning some money and that my savings account is actually increasing somewhat ;) today i went shopping with my family, i bought: * white ballerina slippers (with a cute bow, the ones i've been looking for, for ages now! and they were on special too! =P) * white/pink casual gola sneakers * a pair of jeans (i bought another pair of jeans yesterday too! i believe a person can never have enough jeans, the more the better! lol) * two 3/4 crossover tops (in green/gray and blue/gray) * white mary jane style casual sneakers/shoes for my sister * and a pair of original chuck's for my brother i also treated my family for lunch at "Yum-Cha" yesterday (nice, but way TOO fattening, we all felt so sick and bloated afterwards.) anyway, work pissed me off tonight *grrrr* i hate customer service, but i'm not taking any shit from anybody. the company is pretty shit, but its not my fault, IT, technical problems are way beyond my job, so i'm not taking any abuse from anyone. anyway, thats it, just a quick vent. btw, HAPPY EASTER everybody!! =D i hope everyone had a lovely day! :) 3 scented notes| send me a note

randomness [27 Mar 2004|12:08pm] my routine life has been particularly hectic lately. work is driving me crazy, and it shouldnt be so, since its just a part-time job anyway, i should NOT stress myself over a part-time job. i was even contemplating quitting my job all together because i just don't seem to have time to do much else, especially uni work. so i got my hours reduced which was what i really needed. my weekly work hours have now been reduced by about 9-10 hours a week :) excellent! i'm enjoying my course so that is definately a good thing :) i'm so happy that i chose this course, especially my decision to go back to the best uni in this country ;) hehe. i'm kinda pissed off that i still havent been paid, but i'm taking note of all the hours that i've worked and also the times that i've had to stay back for 20-30 minutes to finish some stuff up, so they cannot cheat me and pay me less that i've worked, or else they'll definately be hearing from me! =P american idol rocks!! who are you going for? btw, i was just wondering, whether or not anybody who is NOT on my blurty friends' list reads my journal? i'd just like to know who's reading thats all :) send me a note

update, "my super busy routine life" lately [18 Mar 2004|08:22pm] [ mood | optimistic ] [ music | tv "charmed" ] i have been really super busy lately, as in really busy. that's why i haven't been updating my blurty that much lately. but then again nothing too exciting has happened lately anyway. if i'm not running around uni, i'm most probably at work, if not i'm probably trying to get some sleep. so that has been the routine lately, uni, work, eating and sleeping. how very exciting. i want to go shopping!! at the top of my shopping wish list that i will buy on my first pay is a new mobile phone, its the sexy nec e616 that i have my eyes on =P the phone is really nice, and has all the features anyone could ask for in a mobile, check it out here if anyone is interested ----> http://www.three.com.au ain't it a sexy phone? =D i'm planning on buying it outright because i really do not want mobile phone bills every month, i like pre-paid :) i'm kinda getting used to work, i'm slowly (but nonetheless, still making progress =P) understanding how everything works and how to deal with everything in case we have IT problems. but nonetheless, a job is a job =D and i'm grateful :) anyway, i'm going to try and get a decent night's sleep tonight, i will try to have an early night :) 2 scented notes| send me a note

continuation of me whining about my new job.. [07 Mar 2004|08:43pm] my dad was flicking through today's newspaper, and he happened to have passed the employment section of the paper and i saw and ad so i asked him to cut it out for me, he replied; "what? why? you just got a job!" hehe. then i told my parents how its kinda boring and i'm not really enjoying work so far. my mum was quick to reassure me that this part-time job is not my career, so i should just stick with it anyway because the money will help me with necessary student needs while i'm still studying. after that i kinda felt better, i guess, i just have to stay there for a year or so, regardless of the fact that its boring, while at the same time very stressful. at least now i don't have to rely that much on my parents when i need to buy things. i just do not want to stuff things up, i hate making silly mistakes at work. 1 scented note| send me a note

new job [07 Mar 2004|04:56pm] i'm not so sure anymore about this new job of mine. at first i was really happy about it, because i finally got a part-time job after looking for so long, but now that i've actually found one, i'm not so sure if its the right job for me. i don't know, i guess i'm a scatter-brain like that, i can't seem to be satisfied. perhaps this new job will just take getting used to, i'm sure that when the others started working there they felt the same way that i do right now about the job. it gets quite stressful, but then again i guess all jobs are right? my plan was to keep this job until i finish postgrad, but i don't know if i can stay working there for that long. send me a note

when you really love someone.. [05 Mar 2004|03:38pm] [ mood | hopeful&optimistic :) ;) ] when you really love someone, no matter how much they hurt you, regardless of the pain they put you through, no matter how many times they let you down, in the end, the love you feel and have for them will still be there. and you will keep allowing them back into your life, each time praying and hoping, that this time, they won't hurt you. 5 scented notes| send me a note

orientation day today :) [04 Mar 2004|06:54pm] [ mood | hopeful&optimistic ;) :) ] [ music | today: mandy moore & the "i am sam" soundtrack.. again =P ] i had an orientation day today at university, and i have to say it was a great day and most important of all, i now feel so inspired :) i'm so happy that i chose to enter the profession that i am studying for, and i am so glad that i chose to do it at the best university in this country =D i am really looking forward to starting this postgraduate course =D i love my uni!! hehe. and i also made some new friends too :) i had my second training day at work yesterday and i felt so stupid because i made a few really silly mistakes :( but i guess i'm still learning, and i will get better at it. i don't really have much choice, i need this job until i finish my postgrad. tomorrow i'm going to look through the yellow pages and ring up all of the local training centres, and i'm going to try and get myself a second job ;) and i'm also hoping to volunteer somewhere else too ;) sounds like a great plan =P ;) :) =D this is going to be my year!!!! and i'm going to do everything i can to be successful in everything i do, and to be the best person that i can be!! ;) :) send me a note

finally.. a part-time job! =D [02 Mar 2004|07:00pm] [ mood | hopeful & optimistic ;) :) ] [ music | mandy moore, and the "i am sam" soundtrack ] i can finally say that i have successfully found myself a part-time job :) hopefully this will be permanent until i go into my chosen profession next year sometime :) i had my first training day yesterday, i think i'll like it there :) at least now i'll have the chance to save some money again :) after training yesterday i headed over to the shops and bought myself the "i am sam" soundtrack, and also a hello kitty and the fimbles bubble bath =D cuteness!! and also on my way home, fate and destiny stepped in ;) *sigh* *blush* *giggles* *smiles* = a happy me, and a happy him! ;) anyway, in other news i am so craving chocolate at the moment, i gave up chocolate for lent so i can't have any, what makes it harder is that we have so much chocolate in the house right now, lol. send me a note

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