| ForTheBoy2/10/05. |
[10 Feb 2005|10:22am] |
starting fresh, no more conflict.
i hate to see you cry.
emotions go crazy, for every spoken word..
apologies are flowing.
loving to be loved,
wanting to hear how much we care.
FORGET THE WAR, its us against our hearts.
LOVE, a very special word.
could make one happy;
could cause anguish and pain to the next.
part of the problem is miss-use of this phrase.
starting from fresh - no more conflict.
no more battling against eachother.
WE'RE BLAMING OURSELVES [!!!]
we can win this, we can overcome.
for love is the cure.
all after it's through,
tears are falling..worries are there.
but we hope that we will be fine in the end.
paint a picture of the girl without her love,
she is miserable without him and it shows.
without the boy, she is desperate for his touch.
grasping for the flesh, desperate for a glare.
SHE IS NOTHING WITHOUT HIM.
starting fresh, no more conflict.
tears are no longer lost,
for he is there catching every drop.
knowing he is there,
knowing he has always been..
knowing IT'S LOVE;
knowing ... is beautiful.
new beginnings, new memories.
starting fresh, no more conflict.
Her love is forever yours.
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[28 Jan 2005|11:14pm] |
you woke up yesterday thinking of all the tears
you've seen fallen without managing to catch any single drop.
remembering the words coming out of your mouth like it was
a paused memory, fading away in time.
"i hate to see her cry" , he turns his head, away in disgust.
it comes & goes, but doesn't seem to show any pitty of distress.
you woke up today , to a cold lonely body.
of a girl you once knew,
a girl to the world was a show.
like a porcelain doll, the beauty perfect & untouched.
thoughts racing to your mind, you told that girl, the only one that has ever truly loved you..
that she was fine,
that she was everything.
& that she would never die.
now look at her, look at me, look into the hollow eyes,
the same ones, that you have filled with nothing but lies.
this is all you've ever wanted now,
& the girl of your dreams..
the one who amazes you so,
this flawless face you've once seen full of tears.
& you were the only one..
it was all lies,
because this perfect little heart.
the one you once knew,
your one & only..
your pride & glory;
is gone.
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| sure; on alert. |
[07 Dec 2004|01:28pm] |
falling.
falling.
falling.
falling.
falling.
with every stumble you manage to catch me.
you know i need you now more than ever
so - save me; with every fall.
i get as close as possible to feel the warmth
of your sweet body;
and for every second we are not together
my heart falls apart.
the minute i see your glittering eyes
i feel the pieces molding back in place.
JUST NOT TOO QUICK
& being absolutly aware of another broken tragedy.
you know you do;
you know you do.
you are my favorite delicacy
& i'm asking for seconds, thirds; more.
so mixed up, not too sure what to say.
tuck me away, throw me in the corner.
say your last words. this is the end.
you're an addiction
& i'm the addict.
so cock the gun and shoot me now.
you have seemed to pass right by,
you've forgotten me this time darling...
BECAUSE I'M STILL FUCKING FALLING.
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| too many maybes. |
[18 Nov 2004|08:17am] |
laying on the floor, looking at the ceiling..
thinking, what is going to happen next?
on the inside i'm bursting with joy ;
but on the outside i'm nothing but calm.
feeling; losing that feeling..which is what i fear most.
you know nothing changed.
as one said "i'm bored"
maybe that was why?
endless nights of crying
because loss of interest has occured.
finding, that what we love has slipped so fast from our grasp.
we fear.
i feer losing you.
maybe you do too?
kissing your lips, feeling your warmth as we lay so close..
"i simlpy cannot let that go"
you know, just because i don't always show comfort, and care..
that doesn't mean that it isn't there.
maybe i fear you losing me.
maybe you do too?
maybe one day you will realize how wonderful you are.
then you'll leave me..
stranded & alone ; forever.
and many years to come.
laying on the floor looking at the ceiling,
coming to the conclusion that..
i fear that i rely on maybes..
maybe too much.
& they are making my mind go insane.
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| my heart stops in the waiting room. |
[14 Nov 2004|09:48pm] |
pacing back and forth, waiting for you to arrive.
(seems to be my greatest high when you're gone)
getting excited, wondering if i'll ever see your beautiful eyes again.
i want you, we want EACHOTHER. we know it's wrong.
sitting & wondering what love really means.
do we have love? is it true?
saying we love eachother could be reasoning..
or is it because we want what we cannot have?
with this, i'm still waiting. WANTING MORE..
of your lucious lips ; each & every second we are apart.
the door opens & i see your face.
i run towards you & rest my hand on your shoulder.
you hold my face. warm hands, ever-so-inviting.
i put my head down, and look at the floor.
you're tilting my chin now, making me look into
you deep blue eyes. i can feel my own eyes glazing.
"we cannot do this" i say, knowing i want to.
kisses from you make it damn hard to stop.
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| goodbye. |
[11 Nov 2004|11:21am] |
sitting, staring. GASPING for breath.
wondering why this had happened.
SEEING, I SAW. trying to touch..
my hands seem so small now, i cant
feel what i think is real.
WANTING ; NEEDING to grasp.
there is still this visual, and it's haunting my dreams.
& YOU KNOW, YOU'RE ONLY IN MY THOUGHTS.
no, not really there ; i become to realize.
you dont really care ; i'm beginning to know.
MAKE ME FEEL LIKE NOTHING,
like you know you always do.
BOOM went the gun, am i scaring you yet?
you tremble, & i laugh in your face.
TOUCH THIS PISTOL, IT'S AS COLD AS YOUR HEART.
turning my head on you, my neck feels stiff.
almost as stiff ; as your handshake.
WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT?
youdon'tknow..
WELL, FUCK THIS IS YOUR proper
g o o d b y e.
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| - nothing - |
[10 Nov 2004|09:43am] |
i'm standing here, alone in a crowd.
&i see your pretty face.
i'm thinking this would be te perfect time to tell you, "i love you"
but ; i'll save you the embarassment.
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| addition to the heartache. |
[08 Nov 2004|07:08pm] |
walking towards you, unsure of what might happen.
my heart aches, and it's screaming your name.
i'm going in for the kill, watching your every move
while i'm standing outside your door.
i'm panting now, my heart is beating faster than i thought it would.
wondering; thoughts run throught my head.
should i do this? would this be a risk i'm willing to take?
i open the door, and wtch you sleep.
a lonley tear rolls down my cheek.
i told myself i would't, i knew i would.
i creep up to your bedside, knowing this is the last way i will see you.
the last image in my head for the rest of - forever.
i kiss your neck and pull the dagger out.
this will be the end of you.
the very end of my pain.
i raise my arm, dagger in hand.
your eyes open wide, and a jumble of words come out of your mouth.
"why like this?"
DON'T WASTE YOUR BREATH SWEET HEART.
you're making this hard. i put my finger against your lips,
and press the dagger to your throat.
blood drips instantly as of now tears are streaming down my face.
i put my hands over my eyes in regret.
i lay by your side, discusted with my decisions.
i hold your cold, but warm face & say
"i love you , darling"
as i take the dagger to my throat, just like i did to you.
LOVE MAKES YOU DO CRAZY THINGS.
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| FAKE. |
[08 Nov 2004|10:40am] |
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take me in your arms, like you THINK you should..
you're so good at pretending you're something you're not.
you CANNOT have a perfect life, it's not that simple.
WHY &WHO would make you think that it's so possible.
KEEP lying, so you make yourself seem real.
TOUCH,FEEL,SMELL,SEE the ways of which you're truely a FAKE.
you just love hearing people feel sorry for you.
SORRY SWEETIE, not this time.
it doesn't have to be this way,
you don't have to..
i want to hear you say something,
something that would ACTUALLY make someone feel wanted.
you know i love the pain,
& i know how that goes..
ACT like you love me, ACT like you want me..
but it is never always a simple, happy ending.
& it never REALLY becomes perfect.
we ALL know that, it's nothing but the brutal truth.
you,me,them. we're all fake.
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