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Spring Break [06 Apr 2004|09:50pm]
[ mood | depressed ]
[ music | 7 days of Thunder ]

Today has totally sucked. I typed in a nice long entry here and my computer basically deleted it. I don't feel like rewriting it but the gist is i'm unhappy, i got rejected to brown and tufts, nothing is working out, i couldn't go to bucknell today and fossil is pretty cool. Spring Break for this year has sucked.

thoughts

Everything [06 Apr 2004|09:43pm]
[ mood | depressed ]
[ music | 7 days oh 7 days of thunder ]

Okay well haven't updated this in a long while....lets see. It's spring break now. I got a job at Fossil. It's pretty cool I really like my manager, Chris. I bought a new watch yesterday with my employee discount. I love watches. Anyway...Spring Break has been pretty bad. Probably the worst I have had. I'm just not happy anymore but what else is new, my whole year has been like this. I got rejected to Tufts and Brown, waitlisted to Colgate and Northeastern and accepted into Drew, Stevens and Bucknell. I signed up for the waitlist at Colgate and is thinking about Bucknell. I was suppose to drive to Lewisburg, PA today and stay overnight with Melissa Karmondy but my mom didn't want me to drive alone in the dark to a new place (I was going to go after work which was 4 and Anna couldn't come with me). So yeah I'm basically thinking about Friday missing school and going and then on Sat it's my open house so I have to be there and then Sunday is Chicago so I have to take off from work. I hope they won't get mad at me. I don't want to be fired or anything bad like that. I have my english portfolio and this bio test to do but its been taking me forever to do this english portfolio. I just don't want to do it and I really don't feel like doing it and I can't seem to force myself to do it. This sucks. Majorly. I want to get the whole thing done tomorrow so lets just hope this works. LOL. Well so yeah I've been depressed and kinda taking it out on Ryan. I love him to death but he can be so mean and I normally just take it but lately I just don't want to. And it's annoying. Sigh I wish he would just say Doan I would ditch the rest of the world to spend time with you. Because it doesn't seem like I'm good for Brown, Tufts, school, Key Club or anyone else and I just want someone to tell me they need me. Or something. Sigh. I haven't actually been able to just hang out with Ryan in forever. Every time we try to hang out we end up hanging out with people and its mostly my fault but sigh I just wanna hang out with him. We're suppose to hang out on Thursday but I can see this going horrible and our one year and a half is on monday so I still have to figure out what to buy him. Hmmmmm....maybe another PacSun Shirt? I don't know. I gotta figure out something. What did i do last year...oh yeah stars...hmmmm maybe something similar. I don't know but we're gonna hang out Monday and I hope that turns out amazing. I want to spend the whole day with him and happy. I don't want anything bad to go wrong but with my luck that does not seem like its going to happen. I think I missed Gilmore Girls today. I forgot about it and when I walked through the door I was like crap its tues night and it's 9:30!!!....today I've worked and driven my sister and brother around. I completely wasted my day as everyone else was having fun. Just great. And I could have gotten some school work done but no i didn't. And now I have a song stuck in my head from work and I have no idea who sings it, what the name is or all the lyrics. Sigh. Lets just hope the rest of spring break gets better!

thoughts

Whew [25 Mar 2004|06:26pm]
[ music | The Art of Losing-American HiFi ]

Sigh well today was pretty bad. The good thing is that we have 53 tickets for the Benefit Dinner so now we don't have to cancel. I'm hoping we'll get between 80 and 100 people on Wed. night for this dinner because it's basically one of my last big projects and I really want it to be successful. Sigh. Well anyway yeah today I cried in the hallway after Physics and I really did not mean to. I thought i was going to tear in class but I did not and when I got out I just burst. It's such a ridiculous thing I'm crying over and I felt so stupid and did not want to tell anyone about it. Sigh me being dumb. But yeah yesterday we took a practice test in bio and i DID HORRIBLE. Then today I was marking the right answers on my test and realized that the machine did not pick up two of my answers and marked it wrong and then that I had misgrided 5 of my answers that were right. Sigh so I could have definately gotten a lil bit higher or something or at least not feel as crappy as I do now. Sigh why can't I be a good test taker? Why can't I be smart and witty or at least somewhat bright. Maybe Darton is right about going to college....maybe my parents shouldn't be sending me to the ones I really want to go cuz its not really worth making 40 grand for someone that isn't that bright and won't be able to soar high. I should just go to a reg. college I guess...I could go to Drew but wait thats the most expensive one I applied to. Theres always Stevens, Northeastern (well not sure if I got accepted), and Bucknell (not sure here either but it feels better than Northeastern's decision). Sigh....colleges. In one week I will know my fate. Am I meant to go where I want to or am I just going to have to adjust. It's so nerve wrecking. All early decision kids have to feel lucky. Sigh I should have applied for early decision. AHHH everything seems to be slipping lately. grades, band, key club....only thing that is going good is my relationship with Ryan. I love him so much and I'm so happy that he can love me in return. Things are really good right now and I hope they stay that way. I mean we get into our moods but who doesn't??? We took a nap together last night...it was really peaceful. I fell asleep ontop of his knee and then woke up and then took a nice nap next to him not on his knee. Okay I wanna cheer up and my sis and brother wanna go get ice cream so we're heading to Coldstone.
p.s. I just got a call from Drew's tennis coach. Tennis coaches are so nice. The stevens one sent me a postcard from North Carolina. It was very sweet. Anyway I'm off now.

thoughts

Whew [25 Mar 2004|06:26pm]
[ music | The Art of Losing-American HiFi ]

Sigh well today was pretty bad. The good thing is that we have 53 tickets for the Benefit Dinner so now we don't have to cancel. I'm hoping we'll get between 80 and 100 people on Wed. night for this dinner because it's basically one of my last big projects and I really want it to be successful. Sigh. Well anyway yeah today I cried in the hallway after Physics and I really did not mean to. I thought i was going to tear in class but I did not and when I got out I just burst. It's such a ridiculous thing I'm crying over and I felt so stupid and did not want to tell anyone about it. Sigh me being dumb. But yeah yesterday we took a practice test in bio and i DID HORRIBLE. Then today I was marking the right answers on my test and realized that the machine did not pick up two of my answers and marked it wrong and then that I had misgrided 5 of my answers that were right. Sigh so I could have definately gotten a lil bit higher or something or at least not feel as crappy as I do now. Sigh why can't I be a good test taker? Why can't I be smart and witty or at least somewhat bright. Maybe Darton is right about going to college....maybe my parents shouldn't be sending me to the ones I really want to go cuz its not really worth making 40 grand for someone that isn't that bright and won't be able to soar high. I should just go to a reg. college I guess...I could go to Drew but wait thats the most expensive one I applied to. Theres always Stevens, Northeastern (well not sure if I got accepted), and Bucknell (not sure here either but it feels better than Northeastern's decision). Sigh....colleges. In one week I will know my fate. Am I meant to go where I want to or am I just going to have to adjust. It's so nerve wrecking. All early decision kids have to feel lucky. Sigh I should have applied for early decision. AHHH everything seems to be slipping lately. grades, band, key club....only thing that is going good is my relationship with Ryan. I love him so much and I'm so happy that he can love me in return. Things are really good right now and I hope they stay that way. I mean we get into our moods but who doesn't??? We took a nap together last night...it was really peaceful. I fell asleep ontop of his knee and then woke up and then took a nice nap next to him not on his knee. Okay I wanna cheer up and my sis and brother wanna go get ice cream so we're heading to Coldstone.
p.s. I just got a call from Drew's tennis coach. Tennis coaches are so nice. The stevens one sent me a postcard from North Carolina. It was very sweet. Anyway I'm off now.

thoughts

Nobi [16 Mar 2004|07:25am]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | 95.9 ]

So yeah yesterday was a lot better. I woke up late though (6:45am) but luckily Ryan and my sis woke up late too. We didn't get marked though but grr we had a nasty sub in english. She would not let Jess Fortune go see Coach Johnson because "our pass is only for emergency bathroom purposes". But yeah I tried playing some tennis with Ryan in Jeans without a visor and yeah it sucked. I can't play tennis anymore and Sara, Nick and Emily showed up. LOL the LHS tennis team was there and they called me instructor. It was quite funny. But yeah then Ryan tried jumping out of my car....it was interesting. But yeah I went to WoodWind Choir and then out to Nobi with Sean, Mel and Ryan to eat sushi. But yeah stupid me I didn't eat sushi I order a rice dish that sucked. Next time I HAVE to buy sushi. I think I'm going to go there for lunch one day because it's a lot cheaper. Okay well I'm off to work on some key club stuff. TTYL.

thoughts

Tears of the Rain [10 Mar 2004|07:52am]
[ mood | disappointed ]
[ music | A Walk to Remember ]

It seems as if all my friendships have washed away with the rain. I am hoping though that sunshine will shine throughout my days again and I know it will sometime in the future. I am just so happy I have my Ryan and I do have true friends. Even though I do not get to see them or that one of them lives over 3000 miles away I have some and I should feel lucky in my life that when I'm upset I can call one up and tell her everything that has been going on. Last night I felt so many emotions...from happiness to stress....from angry to upset then tears. I have shed tears on some people that as Dana has said "do not deserve them". I once thought that these were my close companions, ones that I can lean on when the time gets tough but I was wrong. It was all a facade. My actions can be described irrational but I feel that I want to be irrational. I have 3-4 months left before I leave for wherever I end up going (hopefully Brown; Providence!) and I would like to spend the remaing time that I have with true friends,. I want to create memories that will infinitely make me smile whenever I think upon them. As in the "Hot Chick": "Boys are cheats and liars". I would like to revise this to say "People are cheats and liars". Jean-Paule Sarte was right "People = hell". My body is weak from the mixture of emotions I have been experiencing in the last two weeks. Tears have flooded my eyes enough times. It's time to recover myself. I have a loving boyfriend, a great bestfriend, a great mother and second mother, Darton and my loving friends who I wish I saw more often. I think to myself that it is better to experience these pains now so I can teach future generations about them. It's better to live life than be afraid and life is never easy.
I am so corny today. I'm in distance learning.
~Doan~
Thanks Jess and Ryan for helping me through last night.

thoughts

Bleh [09 Mar 2004|04:27pm]
[ mood | angry ]
[ music | Why Don't U Get A JOb ]

SO yeah my day today was a lot better than all those other days I've been having. I had to stay after (and I hate a lot of chocolate, shame on me) for this scholarship thing then I went to marching band practice for the parade but that ended very early. I'm hopin to go to Alana's today so I can get my girl scout cookies and give Alana my care for courage items. But yeah it really does seem like I have no friends lately. I really miss Staci. Sigh I wish i can visit her over spring break. But Ryan and I are doing very well I would have to say! Our 17 months is this Friday and I think we're going out to eat dinner in either Asbury or Bradley Beach.
OMG OMG OMG~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHHH okay well I just got back from reading Meg's Live Journal. Okay I DID NOT MEAN TO INSULT HER RELIGION!! if she meant me. I'm pretty sure I asker her if she wanted to go to another restaurant but she said Fins was fine and that Pete will be pissed off. So we went. And its not like she even talked to me there but AHHHHHHHHH I'M NOT INSULTING ANYONE. I'm a very respectable person and I really wouldn't have cared if we went somewhere else. I just did not want to go to Pete and Eldas. And seriosuly it should not be centered around certain people. Meg couldn't eat meat. Thats fine with me so we won't go to Fins even though there are so many other different things you can get there that didn't have meat. And if it bothered pple then tell me. CUZ REALLY DON"T CARE THAT MUCH WHERE I DARN EAT!!! i just like food and any kind is fine. Seriously....i hate when pple pretend its fine in front of me and I think they're fine and then they're mad at me. I can't deal with this crap anymore. So happy I'll be gone soon. Hopefully I'll be going to Brown. I HOPE. Sigh the stress. Anyway I feel yeah....it seems like so much crap has been going on and no one seems to want to inform me on it. If you just don't want to be friends with me anymore then don't because I don't want to deal with your b.s.

thoughts

Bleh [09 Mar 2004|04:27pm]
[ mood | angry ]
[ music | Why Don't U Get A JOb ]

SO yeah my day today was a lot better than all those other days I've been having. I had to stay after (and I hate a lot of chocolate, shame on me) for this scholarship thing then I went to marching band practice for the parade but that ended very early. I'm hopin to go to Alana's today so I can get my girl scout cookies and give Alana my care for courage items. But yeah it really does seem like I have no friends lately. I really miss Staci. Sigh I wish i can visit her over spring break. But Ryan and I are doing very well I would have to say! Our 17 months is this Friday and I think we're going out to eat dinner in either Asbury or Bradley Beach.
OMG OMG OMG~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHHH okay well I just got back from reading Meg's Live Journal. Okay I DID NOT MEAN TO INSULT HER RELIGION!! if she meant me. I'm pretty sure I asker her if she wanted to go to another restaurant but she said Fins was fine and that Pete will be pissed off. So we went. And its not like she even talked to me there but AHHHHHHHHH I'M NOT INSULTING ANYONE. I'm a very respectable person and I really wouldn't have cared if we went somewhere else. I just did not want to go to Pete and Eldas. And seriosuly it should not be centered around certain people. Meg couldn't eat meat. Thats fine with me so we won't go to Fins even though there are so many other different things you can get there that didn't have meat. And if it bothered pple then tell me. CUZ REALLY DON"T CARE THAT MUCH WHERE I DARN EAT!!! i just like food and any kind is fine. Seriously....i hate when pple pretend its fine in front of me and I think they're fine and then they're mad at me. I can't deal with this crap anymore. So happy I'll be gone soon. Hopefully I'll be going to Brown. I HOPE. Sigh the stress. Anyway I feel yeah....it seems like so much crap has been going on and no one seems to want to inform me on it. If you just don't want to be friends with me anymore then don't because I don't want to deal with your b.s.

thoughts

Distance Learning [04 Mar 2004|07:46am]
[ mood | depressed ]
[ music | If you C Jordan ]

So yeah haven't written in this blurty for a while but what else is new? Things have been going so horribly in the last few days. Antwan certainly does not make it better with his "nice" comments. But yeah I'm still trying to have everything work out with me and Ryan. Things were going pretty well until Monday when I found out about his lie. Now all I can think about when I'm near him is that. I get so frustrated with him over the littlest things now but ahhh I can't get that day out of my head. I'm going to try and distance myself from him as I did a few weeks ago because I was a lot happier then. And I did not feel this huge emotional attachment to him. Seriously, the smallest comment he makes can make me upset. I have to face the facts that he is just a cold person...sigh. But yeah now some people hate me, I've realized why my really good friends don't hang out with me anymore (ryan) and school is so bleh. I can't wait until the weekend is here. Key Club is going so crappy. I'm trying my hardest but the other officers won't help me at all and then I have Mr. Rep who thinks hes all high and mighty. AHHHHHHH this drives me insane. I want to go away for a very long time. I don't wanna be here anymore. Maybe I can just become withdrawn or something because I do not want to deal with people anymore. As Jean Paul Sarte has said..."hell is people"

thoughts

Chasing Liberty [11 Jan 2004|06:10pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]
[ music | "Mary Melody"-Mad Caddies ]

Well I stayed up until 2:30 am last night watching "Three to Tangle" with Matthew Perry and Neve Campbell. That was on funny, gay movie. Haha anyways woke up late today because of the time I went to bed (woke up at 10) and basically did nothing for 30 mins then took a shower and got dressed to go to the movies to see "Chasing Liberty" with Jeff. I drove all the way to Hamilton/Trenton to see it and I have to say well worth it. The movie turned out to be better than I thought and I just love that theater. And it was nice because I got to show Jeff this theater and he liked it too. The seats are amazing. LOL I never had to change my sitting position once during the movie. That's how amazing it was. Jeff makes me crack up in the car too and he is soo easy to talk to. Anyways when we got to the theater he was like "what is this movie about?" haha and I was laughing cuz I was wondering why he would go see a Mandy Moore movie esp. since it was a chick flick. But then I told him and he said he saw the previews for it and didn't mind go seeing it. But he wouldn't wanna go see "Win a date with Ted Hamilton". I wanna go see that movie. I wonder if Ryan would ever go see it with me? Probably not since it's a chick flick and Jeff doesn't even wanna go see it. Anyways my mouth started hurting during the movie from eating the popcorn. I don't know why. LOL. So I stopped but I was practically done with my medium bag of popecorn and small Sprite. I hate going to the movies sometimes because of that...I eat so much popcorn. And it's like its addicting...once I start eating I just CANNOT stop. LOL. So yeah today was cool. Then I got home and took a nap and then finished all the bio genetic problems. They were not as bad as I thought they would be. Not like that last chapter!!! AHHHHHH....lol. So I'm gonna go work on that CSS Profile soon and hopefully go to ABC/ Krispy Kreme. So, yeah bye.

thoughts

Meg's Birthday [10 Jan 2004|01:48pm]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | I want you to love me ]

Well I haven't written in here since the summer. Actually no I did type in a new entry yesterday during my distance learning class with Antwan next to me but somehow it didn't get into my journal, oh well...Ok so it's not summer anymore. Ryan and I are good (I just read my summer entry and totally remembered how I was feeling about him and Brown). Ryan and I have definately learned to grow into a better relationship. We really know each other know and it's nice cuz when I do get mad it gets fixed so easily cuz we both know each other. Well today is Meg Smith's birthday. She is turning 18!! Can you believe that. Wow the next thing I know I'll be 18 and that is going to be really creepy. Wow me being legal. Haha that really is scary. Anyways lately I've been really upset over the same old issues...friends. It's not going very well. But I have also learned a lot of things about people from it and am really sick of high school. I CANNOT wait until I go to college, hopefully Brown U. My heart is so set there...sigh...but I'm so afraid of the rejection letter cuz I really do not think I can get in. Well anyways today we were suppose to go ice skating for Meg's bday but we didn't cuz shes sick so we're just going to the movies and then out to eat at Uno's. I've never been to Uno's but Beth says its good and we're going to a theater in Hamilton because supposedly it's really nice and Ashley really likes it. Doesn't bother me especially since Beth is driving me ( I have no more gas). And I'm just happy to be spending time with my friends again. It's nice to be with them, I feel so much more complete. I really do need friends in my life. I've also learned that. I'm not a very independent person I guess you can say. Like I always need someone to walk with me but Ryan takes that position. I love my Ryan so much. Sigh...he's good to me. His family is amazing and I just love spending my time with him. Everytime I drive home from his house I get this wonderful fuzzy feeling inside of me. And it's just so hard to explain. I feel as if I'm complete I guess when I drive away. It's so nice. Anyways I better go take a shower since everyone is meeting at my place and they're suppose to be here in less than an hour. Tata I'll be writing in here more often.

thoughts

Frustrated [18 Jul 2003|09:46am]
[ mood | frustrated ]
[ music | Break Stuff ]

I can't believe today is Friday. This week went by so quickly. Tomorrow I get to see Ryan! But I really don't think he cares. Everyone seems to agree with me...maybe it's time. Whatever I'll see. I played tennis yesterday for about 20 minutes. I wanted to play a lot longer but it was way TOO hot! But John Kaba says I did well. Yesterday I went to Staples with Mike to make copies of this band camp sheet I made up and music. It took me 20 minutes to get the copies because the 2-sided machine was like broken and I was waiting forever for the lady to come and fix it. I ended up just using the one sided one. This girl walked in and all Mike could do was look at her. It was disgusting. Anyways Mikey and I then went to the car wash at Mobil where we saw Kyle and then we went to get his trunk vaccumed. We then met John Kaba at McDonalds and off we were to the tennis courts. I was so happy to be playing tennis again! Then band practice. Ahhhhhh my flutes got worse! Or they're just not trying as hard. I have no idea what to do with them. They're so unfocused and it's so frustrating and I want to be patient with them. Then ahhhhhh something occurs between Jen, Ali and Emily. But got Katie, Carolyn and Cheryl involved. Ends up Cheryl and Em crying...Jen and Ali getting really frustrated. And some people wanting to quit. Ahhhhhhhhh......but it kinda got worked out. I mean it's suppose to be but I don't think it's all cleared yet. I hate being a girl because girls are so complicated. AHHHH actually but yeah I don't wanna be a guy because they are sooo dense, Right ALi!!! Today I'm suppose to go and hang out with Colleen but no...my mom this morning so I'm not allowed out today. I can only practice tennis!!! And I already told Colleen I would come over. This def. sucks! Grrr I don't wanna stay home. Okay I'm gonna go and yeah go...bye

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MugRack [17 Jul 2003|02:27pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]
[ music | Three Small Words -Josie and the PussyCats Soundtrack ]

Last night I went to Ashey's and hung out with Jess and Beth. We all went to Blockbuster to rent a movie and Beth and Ash could not agree on a route to take so then decided to take seperate ones and race to see who can get there first. I was in the car with Beth and we went down Bennetts Mills and onto Cooks Bridge. Jess was with Ash and they took 527? some back roads to it. Beth kept talking about how we were gonna get beaten because the car in front of us was so slow. It was a 40 mph road and the person was going 35! Beth was like ahhh Ash is probably going 70 right now!!! Once we got onto Cooks Bridge she was going around 60. Unfortunately the others beat us there. In Blockbuster I saw Cory and Christina. I forgot Cory's name though and Beth had to remind me. We rent Shanghai Knights. I didn't like the movie very much. Haha I got grumpy because they kept talking and I wanted to hear/watch the movie. I ended up slightly falling asleep at the end of the movie (the last 5 mins). I saw the villain getting destroyed and stuff though. And yes, Ash and Beth, I did see the part about the loser. It was like #$*#@#$ Loser. Yeah something like that. We all plus Meg and her cousin, Tom, went to MugRack this morning for breakfast. I made a swan and gave it to Tom. Breakfast was fun. I FINALLY finished Jane Eyre today!!! It was a very good book! I liked it a lot! But I wanted to finish it sooo badly and just know the ending....It's somewhat romantic. I mean in a weird way. But it shows a very deep love between two people. I can imagine this to be a movie one day....I should find out if there is a movie (probably is because Hollywood always gets to the good novels). I can imagine Kate Hudson as being Jane Eyre even though she is too pretty to play it. Jane Eyre is suppose to be a small lady that is ugly (not to be mean or anything). And Mr. Rochester has an ugly man...I really don't know who can play him...I cannot think of any ugly actors with his build but we will see. Today I am going to go practice tennis with John. He says he'll play and help me for my try-outs now on!!! Which is great! I need someone to play with me. The only bad part is that he's always like I can beat Doan! I def. have to play him one day when I'm in my league? I don't know if that made sense. But yeah....I miss Ryan. When I closed my book today I looked at my Ryan's picture and it's a sad thing to be missing someone you love. I know how I can I use the word, LOVE, so frequently with someone I know from high school. I ask myself this so many times but I know I love him. No matter how mad or stupid I get with him I know I do. Well I'll finally get to see him on Sat. I hope he misses me and doesn't like another. Okay back to playing malaguena! I hope all the freshmen in my section have been practicing!

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Back aches [13 Jul 2003|01:15pm]
[ mood | awake ]
[ music | Boys and Girls-Good Charlotte ]

My back is hurting so badly this morning. I just woke up with it like that. Wow I actually slept in today!!!! My first day in the whole entire summer so far! It's quite an accomplishment if I have to say so myself. Well yesterday was my 9 months with Ryan. Sadly he's away at Brown but that's okay I had a good day yesterday. I came home from Ali's sleepover at around 1. Then I fell asleep watching Lord of the Rings and trying to read Jane Eyre. Then I woke up and went to Ali's for dinner then we watched Phone Booth then I watched MIIB while Ali slept and snoozed. Haha! I had problems closing her reclining chair but it's all good! Then I drove home with my mom and we stopped at Ritas. I saw Emily there and she told me that my profile was so depressing! I didn't realize it was depressing until she said something and she had thought Ryan and I broke up and that's why it's so depressing so when I went home I changed it. Hopefully it's not depressing anymore. Ryan and I are still together but at times it's like we're not together anymore. I don't know why. I guess because we have not seen each other for a while. He's coming home this upcoming Sat. and then leaving on Sunday to go to Villanova. As Ant says...wow! Ryan surprisingly called me yesterday because of our anniversary but we didn't really talk much because my cell was going dead. I was happy that he called but I don't know I kinda wanted to talk to him and I kinda didn't. I felt really weird. Sometimes I wonder if me and him should have gone on a break for the summer like Alex and Anna did. But then it seems like Anna and Alex won't be getting together sometimes. I don't know I'll see. I'm happy that those few days I was really missing Ryan is over. I can go on with my summer. Today I'm suppose to go mini-golfing with Jeremy, Anna and Derrick. I have to go call them about times. But it should be fun! We're suppose to be going to the movies afterwards too but I thought I was gonna go with Erin and ALi so I'll see. Anyways...Ali's party was fun! I finally got to see John. I got launched for ths first time! and I was a judge to a diving contest. Haha. Applebees I supposedly sat at the "fake friends" table. Sigh I think Zak and peeps were and they just wanna pretend they weren't. Haha. And I went to FYE with Jill and Amanda for Catch22 tickets but they were sold out! :-(. I was so upset. I wanted to go to the concert so bad. But oh well...it's just a concert. Okay well I'm going to go get something to eat!

[1] thoughts

Convention [11 Jul 2003|10:10am]
[ mood | melancholy ]
[ music | Theme song to Cast Away ]

Convention...it was a lot of fun. Cedar Point was great! and the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame was interesting...The hotel we stayed in in Sandusky, Ohio was yeah not that great. We were all making fun of it. Wednesday's ride to Indianapolis from Sandusky was long but it was fun. I talked to Anna Corichi for most of it. We stopped at a Dairy Queen for lunch (my first meal at Dairy Queen!). And for the rest of the trip we played this game where you have to name a place ie: a country or town, and then the next person has to name another place with the name starting with the letter that is last in the last place that was called (ie: Europe, Egg Harbor). We kept getting A's and running out of names so we decided to do movies then famous people. Then animals. I think the rest of the bus was listening to us. Haha. At convention we stayed at the Hyatt hotel. It was really really really nice. We had a window view of this fountain and the Westin hotel. The people at convention were all so cool. The only thing bad about convention was that the executive board of the NJ district all clumped together so Joe was not with us for most of it. And yeah...you just felt insignificant against them. But Sea Chan, an LTG, hung out with us. He roomed with j.p, dan and jeremy. He's so weird and funny. He imed me the other day when I was home. Interesting character. LOL. Well we went to this restaurant Palamino's for our July 4th dinner because we always eat somewhere nice on the 4th of July. My bill came up to $42!!! haha in the middle of ordering dessert Sea asked for the check. But he kept saying bill. Lol. Then he wanted to go around the block and we told him to wait until we were done but the next thing we know he sprints out and runs out of the emergency exit. He came back 15 mins. later. Sigh Sea cracks me up. On Sat. we went to a baseball game but the weather got really really bad. First it was sooo hot we were all sweating as we were eating and the next thing we know there's a very strong wind coming at us. The sky was lighting up with lightening and the clouds were moving so quickly. The next thing we know everyone has to go underneath the bleachers and man did it start to rain. It was so windy and rainy that a bunch of kids got really scared. Some were like it's a tornado!!! I tried singing songs and talking to my group so they wouldn't get scared but I think they just got annoyed. I got to meet this cute kid from Georgia though and this guy from Florida. An hour passed and then we were allowed to go out and they said we can return later to watch the game. My group decided to go watch Finding Nemo (for my 3rdtime). This kid, Kevin, watched with us. Anna almost broke her tooth eating her jawbreaker and when she was buying one these girls were giving her a hard time. We also watch this IMAX show as we were in town. We watched a Lewis and Clark film. It got boring at one part and I fell asleep. Haha most of us did. Just like when we were watching Snoopy on Ice in Cedar Point. I got to meet a lot of people on this convention and I got a lot of cool pins. I accidentially traded my last NJ pin so now I have to try and get it from someone. Anyone who wants to see my pins just ask!
I've had a pretty busy time since convention. When I came home Sunday Kate and I went to Ant's for his b-day party. Then Monday I went with my mommy to buy a car. Tuesday I had band practice and I cleaned my room. Wednesday I had a PCM for key club at Alana's house and then I went to the mall with Kaba and a pet store (which scared me) and then to Ash's for a party/sleepover. We watched "Darkness Falls". It was a stupid movie but had a lot of popping out stuff so I screamed a lot at that. I use to never scream but now I do...it's interesting. Then everyone was telling me that I talked in my sleep again. I never knew I talked that much in my sleep but if they say so I guess I do. Yesterday I had a home day and just watched 10 Things I Hate About You and took a nap. And late at night I talked to Ant on the phone and realized that Ant really is one of my best friends. Today I have Spink's party then Ali's thing. And I have to go buy my ticket with Jill for the Catch22 concert. Which should be awesome!!!!! Tomorrow is my 9 months with Ryan but I'm not going to get to see him. But at least I get to go to a concert. Sigh I miss Ryan so much lately and I guess it's because I've had a lot of time to myself. I haven't heard from him for 4 days now....I'm still wondering if he's gonna call tomorrow but I guess that won't matter since I won't be home. We'll see. I'll tell you if he made the attempt to contact me tomorrow. If he doesn't then it's just like over Winter Break (i think) when he didn't call on our anniversary or made any contact with me the whole time. I know he's probably busy and I know he cares about me but still it hurts that he sometimes just doesn't call or e-mail. I know I'm being stupid but I can't help the way I feel. Okay well I better go get ready for Spink's party. I'll see everyone at her house or Ali's!!!

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First day home all day [08 Jul 2003|02:51pm]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | Paved Paradise-County Crows ]

Wow I'm finally home!!!! well all day. I came home from Indianapolis on Sunday night and then Kate and I went to Ant's house for his birthday party. Well at Ant's party I felt a little uncomfortable around a certain person but I won't mention that online. We saw the Real Cancun which is basically The Real World but in Cancun. It was disgusting....girls were showing their breasts and it was basically about these guys who wanted to get laid and drunk. Yeah....it was well liked by the guys. Anyways well Ryan sent me a few e-mails from Brown University where he is staying for a summer program. I hope he calls me soon. Well now I'm talking to Ali on the phone and it's hard to type and talk at the same time so I'll write about my trip later. Byez

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Sunday [08 Jun 2003|11:20pm]
[ mood | loved ]
[ music | Every Other Time-LFO ]

Finding Nemo is a really good and cute movie. Man o man was it hard for me and Ali to find seats. But we had fun. Then my mom was late picking us up so we got to see 30-40 mins of 2 Fast 2 Furious because it was right there and started right when we got out and got our icees. That is a really good movie or what I saw of it so far. I think Ali and I are going to try and see it this upcoming weekend. The cars in the movie were so nice. Then Ali, me, my mom and sis went out to eat at the Olive Garden and we saw Jenn Recht and Mike Bocchio(sp?) there, not together though. I had loads of fun with Ali and we got updated on everything that was going on in our lives. Today I woke up later than I had wanted to (10 mins to 10) and was like ahhhh I'm suppose to be at the Wickham's house at 10. I took a quick shower and left to go sanding and helping out with the new band bus at Rob W's house. That was so much fun. After that I went to Ryan's to work for his mom then I hung out with Ryan. Overrall it was a great day. Ryan is so amazing and I don't know what I would do without him in my life right now. And if you ever get a chance you should smell him because he smells good!!! Haha. Like I told Ryan...he is my everything. And for everyone who reads this and knows me well...yes I know he is mean to me at times and can be a bad boyfriend but as I have said to Ali...if you were in my shoes and see him thru my eyes you'll see that he really isn't that bad and that when we hang out he is so cute and so nice and funny. And when he says something mean he doesn't mean it to be mean, he just says stuff without thinking about it. OOOOO I got my formal pictures and I love them!!!! One of them is hanging in my room!!! I gave the other one that is that size to Ryan's mommy and I gave her some other pics too. She liked them. Ryan likes the pictures too!!! And for all who do care the SATs were okay. I can't say I did well or they were easy because that's what I thought in January and I did horrible on those so yeah....I'll tell u what I got in July.
OMG 2 n 1/2 weeks until no more school!!!!!

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Talent Show Night [06 Jun 2003|11:13pm]
[ mood | complacent ]
[ music | Road Rash-Mad Caddies ]

Wow I had a really good day today. Sam said I was very perky and I felt like I was starting to get back to my old routine today. In economics we continued our chess tournament. I was against Jean-Paul and ahhh I was winning but at the end I made a really really big mistake that costed me the game and yeah checkmate.... I got to hang out with Ryan today after-school. It was good because I finally got to eat PIEROGIES!!!! Yup finally after a whole week of craving them. Then Ryan's best friend, Collin, came over. Collin is really nice and cool. We all then went to the talent show and I was a few minutes late. Trish and I got to be bouncers for the right door and that was interesting. We saw these two girls running all ummm hyper? holding hands! It was really funny actually. And then at the end Collin stole my egg baby!!!!!!!!! And wouldn't give it back to me until I had to really go. But yeah that was my day. The only bad part was people making me feel bad because Ryan didn't go mini golfing and that I had "made" Ryan go to the talent show even though I didn't. Then it made my day a lil worse when Ryan wasn't hmmm...yeah being very nice. But watever I guess it's just the way he is. But yea Ali took me home and tomorrow me and her are going to see Finding Nemo!!!! FINALLY!!! And yeah...I get to go take SATs tomorrow morning. So I'm off to bed now. Good Night!

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