|
|
Saturday, May 13th, 2006
| |
11:39 am - The Centennial Installment; a night of true terror lies ahead
|
"my 21st birthday is either a reason for you to celebrate, or lock yourself at home in fear of the ominous existence that will be the remainder of your life... so you might as well party because resistance is futile"
That was the way I summed up the gala in an IM with my brother. He and his wife, Holly, will be two of the oh-I'd-say-about-30-or-so people joining in with one common goal.
Getting me hammered.
I think their mission will be accomplished.
I'm very excited right now. I think I'm more excited than I was for Christmas. I'm ready to put the criminal record in the past. I'm ready to legally accept the responsibility of drunkeness; perhaps one of the only responsibilities I can handle. It feels great.
I am going to be coaching em up, and coaching em right on back down all night.
I'm told that their will be some adversity; I'll probably be seeing some of those shots more than once if you feel me.
That's fine. I'm a trooper. I'll take my medicine.
Triple bypasses, here we come!
Finally, this day has come.
"Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son."
And the rest, as they say, is history.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| |
3:18 am - This is gonna be quick...
|
It's 3 A.M. the day before I finally turn 21. I am ripped up to fuck right now. Just got done drinking some beers over at Weez's. This will be the shortest entry I have ever made. It's number 99. I have had to fix a shitload of typos already so it's time to quit. Tomorrow will be my 21st birthday, and as promised it will also be my 100th post.
Now, Fuck off.
-Matt
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Friday, May 12th, 2006
| |
11:32 am - It's not "Sayerdee"; it's Saturday
|
Well I just fucking woke up and my back is killing me. I slept the wrong way or some shit. Today is the day before my 21st birthday party.
Drank a couple beers down my cousin Weezer's house last night. His friend McCreedy was there for awhile. Dude man is probably the funniest person ever. He was going into an in-depth story about how his had can't pronounce certain words, even though he makes $100,000 a year.
You've met someone like this before. They say Mondee, Tuesdee, Wednesday. They're going to warsh their hands.
But the best one of all is "Sayerdee." This means Saturday. Of course you're going to have the "Dee" for day, but where did the "T" end up? And how did the entire middle part of the word get blended into the same kind of "ear" sound? Pretty funny stuff when dude man is going on a rampage and you're drinking a couple down.
Got to bed shortly before 3 and woke up to some interesting prank phone calls.
Tomorrow is the big day, we're looking at 33 hours until launch. I'm still technically scheduled to work the next day at Dollar General but I really don't see it happening. Let's face it. It's not gonna happen.
Have to run to YSU today to hand in a bonus thing and take my license to the academy because they need the updated one on file. That has to be done before work at 4, because the buildings close around 5.
Well, I'm outta here. I'll probably have to post again later because this is only number 98 and I have two more to go.
Up your driveway.
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Thursday, May 11th, 2006
| |
7:06 pm - The number of the day is 97
|
We're getting down to crunch time here as far as the 100 posts goal goes. I need three more posts after this one, and have only two full days until my birthday.
The plan is to make these entries short and detail how I am spending my last days of underage slavery. To start, it should be useful to discuss the main reason why this last year of my life has been spent somewhat sober.
On my 20th birthday, the state alcohol officers were running an operation in Girard. They were literally sweeping the whole town, walking right into bars without any causation and demaning identification.
I was at a local dive called Woody's, where I spent much time until this point. A group of my cousins and friends would frequent it because it had good food, it was cheap, and mainly it was right down the street from me.
At about 10:15 P.M., I was approached by two city detectives and an Ohio Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms Agent and told to produce ID. When push came to shove, they discovered that I was only 20. Because I knew one of the detectives well, he told me to leave the premises and that would have otherwise been the end of it.
About a week later, I received a citation in the mail for a violation regarding underage person and was summoned to court the next month. Through some crafty deal-making, my charge was reduced to a minor misdemeanor for disorderly conduct. The fees escalated to a little over $500.
There went the bar hopping. I was also told that because I got off semi-easy the last time, any future offense would certainly result in no less than one month in prison.
What a bunch of bullshit, but I didn't want to go meet Bubba. You can vote, you can die for your country, but you can't have a beer. What's even more fucked up is, you can go to jail but you can't have a beer.
If I was under 18, I literally would have been slapped on the wrist. The cops would have called my parents and that would have been about it.
So, on Saturday the festivities begin at Kuzman's and will be three-fold. One, I turn 21. Two, school is out. And three, I can have my record expunged. Plan on me being very drunk if you happen to run into me.
I'll be the one that's unconcious.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Sunday, May 7th, 2006
| |
12:08 am - Big Saturday Night
|
Well, it's shortly after midnight and the best thing I've got to do is sit on my computer.
Now I remember why I hated junior high so much. It appears that I've bottomed out. I'm a loser. Put a fork in me; I'm done.
On the brighter side of things, Kobe Bryant just had his ass handed to him in game seven of the NBA's opening round playoffs. The Phoenix Suns overcame a 3-game-to-1 deficit to send the ignorant fuck home where he can continue to be an asshole. Who knows? Maybe even rape some chicks.
LeBron James, referred to from here on as "a fucking stud with a ten foot rod", engineered a Cavalier victory in the first round against the Washington Wizards. Gilbert Arenas had a nine and a half foot cock in a losing effort, but in the end it was the chosen one's cock that he was choking on.
It's been awhile since I've updated and that's because I had a life up until now. I'm working at Dollar General, a drunken piss away from where I'm sitting. I fuck around all day, which is lucky because I don't get paid shit. All the money goes to YSU anyway; luckily next fall is my last semester there.
Finals are coming up, and that's part of the reason for my ailing social life. I'm studying for a major test in Applied Pathophysiology, which is about as fun as it sounds. Needless to say, I'll be drinking heavily after Wednesday when it's all done with.
Speaking of which, next Sunday is my 21st birthday. Mother's day, haha. That Saturday night we're gonna be doing the crawl starting at Kuzman's around 8:30. If I drink to the point of death, I will have had a decent life. Not a bad way to go out, really.
I have fallen behind on the 100 posts for my birthday thing. I think this is like 96. That means I have to kick some ass and update this week.
The current jams are Bruce Springsteen and Weezer, but I'm not sure that Weezer ever comes off the list. The Green Album has been getting plenty of play lately.
My puppy Molly turned two last month, meaning that she's no longer technically a puppy. Supposedly, puppies become dogs after two years. But I say fuck that. She's my little poopers and if you don't like it, go kiss on LeBron's ten footer.
Mike Metzger, "the gadfatha", just jumped over the fountain at Caesar's Palace. He did a fucking backflip right over it. The first person to attempt this was Evil Kneivel, only he didn't do a backflip. Kneivel cleared the fountain but crashed on the landing. He was in a coma for twenty-nine days. Years later, his son Robbie Kneivel pulled off the jump.
Metzger became the first person to clear the fountain, execute a backflip and stick the fucking landing. That's pure insanity. Maybe the sport of motocross will start to get more of the recognition it deserves. I became a big fan pretty much when my cousin Jeff began writing for Racer X. He's now the Senior Editor and the Webmaster over at racerxill.com. I would link that but I'm feeling lazy. Plus it's not that hard to type it in your addy box. You can also check out his blog at cigarettesandcoffee.com.
I bought a new cell phone today, because my old one sucked. It's an LG 1400i, which I had no intention of getting. But upon further review, I like the fucking phone. And I'm sick of having a Motorola. And everyone and their cousin has a Nokia.
That's about it. I'm gonna watch the rest of NBA Fastbreak and worry that I'm missing something tonight. Join us next time when I tell jokes and you don't laugh.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Friday, March 31st, 2006
| |
2:02 am - Underdogs and Kennedys
|
Well, it's about two o'clock in the morning and I want to throw some shit down on here.
The parentals are headed out to Las Vegas for some vacation action; did someone say house party? The festivities will begin Saturday night with no real end in sight. Keeping with the tradition of college basketball's final four, we are having a tournament of our own. Beer pong.
Plans are in the works, rest assured.
Things have generally been going well as of late. Today, Beth and I attended an assembly at YSU's Chestnut Room for some extra credit. The only thing better than extra credit is sex... or maybe beer pong? Hmm. Anyway. The speaker was a Catholic priest with a diverse educational background and he wanted to discuss the ethical challenges we face in terms of globalization.
I feel almost bad about using the words sex and beer pong in the same breath as Catholic priest, but what can you do? I'm sure in light of recent events there has been worse.
The man, Coleman was his last name, held a pretty liberal view on the idea of globalization. Neo-cons have tried to make globalization all their own, and we frankly haven't heard much from the left about the extremely pressing issue. But the speaker presented a strong case with many good points. He talked about labor rights, the need for international laws and courts, and the need to have safety nets to protect the poor.
Perhaps the most interesting thought was that Christians by and large live in poverty. While a vast many of these people survive on less than two dollars a day, there is not a single cow in the European Union that survives on less than three dollars and fifty cents. That's purely incredible.
We could argue endlessly about whether these people should be so indigent. I, of course, believe that no one on earth should be made to endure that type of suffering. It's one thing to believe that people have a market value and that their wealth should be equivalent to their contributions to society. But it's an entirely different ballgame when we can't even offer a plain minimum for those who are less fortunate... regardless of their circumstances.
That's enough of the political shit.
The grades have been going quite well, and if all goes as planned this semester I will have added almost eight tenths to my grade point average.
I mentioned the final four before. George Mason University has opened my eyes and made me a believer. A devout North Carolina Tarheels fan, Mason beat up on my beloved Heels early in the tourney. At first, I wanted to dislike them... but you've got to pull for the underdogs.
The Patriots have had the longest, windiest road to make it to the big show and they have done it all the same. It hits you at home for a minute. It kind of makes you believe that great things really can happen, no matter what the odds are. I'll be rooting for the George Mason Patriots to take home the title. But, even if that doesn't happen, they've already done the impossible.
Workouts are going well. I'm trying to get my running time down as much as possible. The key right now is not to have any setbacks. I want to make progress every day, but realistically I want to avoid regressing at all costs. I am still dieting well and losing a lot of the bad weight. Discipline here is pivotal.
I felt really tired a couple of hours ago, but I've kind of caught a second wind. Maybe I'll throw on a video game or something for a little while. I should get to sleep, but afterall tomorrow is Friday. Beth and I have some plans for tomorrow. We've got a dinner planned with my parents and my brother and his wife. It looks like we'll be heading down to the Amen Corner for their fish dinner which is absolute tits.
Really. Some of the largest servings of fish you've seen. Because of the Atkins diet, I'll be ordering mine broiled. To tell you the truth, you can't miss. It doesn't matter how you get it, it's gonna be damn good.
New reports have surfaced from January of 2003 shining light on secret meetings between President Bush and British Prime Minister Tony Blair. Apparently, these two fuckers had set an official date of March 10th for air strikes to begin in Iraq, to be followed shortly thereafter by a complete ground operation.
This isn't really news, unless you're Republican... then, I guess it's probably a bunch of lies. There really shouldn't be a single person with some sort of a brain that believes we went to Iraq for a worthy cause, much less a loosely justifiable one. This doesn't make me unpatriotic... I don't root for the army like I root for a baseball team. It makes me concerned about dishonesty and mistakes we are making, and it makes me wish and hope that our brave men and women could come home.
I was looking up some research on the Kennedy family dynasty, because I seem to hear that the Bushes are supposedly a great American dynasty now. Prescott Bush was Governor of Maine. His son, George Herbert Walker Bush, was President. His son became President, and another son of his is Governor of Florida. That's about it.
I'll end with a little comparison:
Patrick J. Kennedy- a prominent Boston Democrat
John Fitzgerald- Two-term Mayor of Boston
Patrick Kennedy's son, Joseph P. Kennedy, married Rose Fitzgerald. Joseph P. Kennedy was the original head of the Securites and Exchange Commission. He was also Ambassador to the Court of St. James (United Kingdom). The two had many children, and many of them chose to work in politics.
-John Fitzgerald Kennedy became President of the United States of America, and was assassinated.
-Robert Francis Kennedy served as Attorney General and became a United States Senator; he too was assassinated when running for President.
-Edward Moore Kennedy has been a United States Senator since 1962.
-Eunice Kennedy married Robert Sargent Shriver, Jr. who was the original head of the Peace Corps and a former candidate for Vice President.
-Jean Ann Kennedy was Ambassador to Ireland.
The third generation of Kennedys had many children who sought political office.
Maria Owings Shriver is First Lady of California; Kennedy Son-in-Law Arnold Schwarzenegger, a Republican, is Governor of that state.
Kathleen Hartington Kennedy Townsend was Lieutenant Governor of Maryland.
Joseph P. Kennedy, II is a son of Robert Francis and Ethel Kennedy and is a former Representative from Massachusetts.
Patrick Joseph Kennedy, a son of Edward Moore Kennedy, is a Representative from the state of Rhode Island.
Mark Kennedy Shriver, a son of Sargent and Eunice Shriver is a delegate in the Maryland State Legislature.
There have been several other Kennedys to hold distinctions. One daughter married royalty from Britain. The eldest of Joseph P. and Rose's sons, Joseph was shot down in WWII. Many believe that had it not been for this, he would have become President of the United States. Afterall, JFK didn't really want to go into politics at first but decided to fulfill his father's legacy after the death of his older brother.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy, Jr. had plans to run for President, but was tragically killed when his plane crashed into the Atlantic Ocean shortly after takeoff.
In comparison, I don't believe the Bush twins have plans to run for office.
Goodnight, and good luck.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, March 29th, 2006
| |
3:37 am - Coffee-induced hullabaloo
|
It's pretty late for a school night, even by my standards. But there was a hell of a lot of good television on tonight. Really, it began when I was over Beth's house. There was a documentary on the History Channel about the North Hollywood Shootout, which actually took place only a couple blocks from her uncle's house.
This program was so good I watched it again at 1 o'clock in the morning. You simply can't miss Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. Then, at two o'clock, the epic marijuana-inspired "Rolling Kansas" came on Comedy Central. Myself, being a bit of an insomniac and fueled by some late-night coffee, absolutely had to indulge. Technically, the movie isn't over until four... but I wanted to update my journal before finally retiring.
Afterall, I do have class in five hours.
I got a new job working at Dollar General, conveniently located four houses down from me. The job will only last through the summer, as I am preparing for the police academy next fall. Upon completion, I'll have an Associate's degree and will be well on my way to finishing my education.
The Dollar General job should be fantastic. They close at nine o'clock at night... that's beautiful. Especially when considering I would sometimes get out of BW-3 at two in the morning. Pretty much all of my money is going directly to pay off the academy, which has just about been the case since school began. I really appreciate all that my parents have done for me, both financially and otherwise. Without them, I'm sure I wouldn't be in as good of shape. That certainly deserves mentioning.
I also want to say how much I love my girlfriend, Beth. She is beautiful and sweet, and I think we're doing very good together. We have been an item for over three years, and I think we have grown together. I would lay money that she would echoe the same sentiments.
I've been trying to do a lot of exercise and dieting lately; these are two things that I rarely do simultaneously. The point is that I am trying to devote as much time and energy to succeeding at the academy. I really did need to get on some kind of a program, because I let my weight get a little out of hand. Last summer, I was in great condition but a chain of events unfolded that probably led me to be in the worst shape of my life.
I have made vast improvements and am feeling much better about myself. The running program myself and some friends have implemented has been going strong. We are expected to pass certain difficult physical tests, and the only way to do that is to work hard and maintain focus.
Afterall, we all need things to stay focused on. One thing that I have noticed is that some time ago, I had difficulty focusing. I had a hard time putting my actions together with their consequences. I didn't really feel like putting effort into anything, because the benefits seemed very far away. I was battling a case of depression and seeking help was the best decision I could have made.
I have discussed this scenario before here. I was never a big fan of pills. Happy pills. It all seemed a little too Orwellian to me. How could a pill make you genuinely happy; at best, it could probably only make you think you were happy.
I was wrong... but it took some time to see that. I was convinced by my doctor that depression is a legitimate medical problem. And it's a lot more common than I had understood. There are chemical imbalances within the brain that can get out of whack. If the flow of these chemicals is altered, they will send different signals to the brain. Your body produces a certain amount of seratonin, and it needs to be distributed consistently and evenly. The problem was this distribution was neither consistent nor even.
I took the medicine for six months, and noticed nearly immediate results. I didn't feel like a different person, so to speak. Originally, I thought maybe I'd feel uncomfortable or lose traits of my personality. But as I took the medicine I began to notice that I was no less coherent, and less easily stressed.
The real success story is not what the medicine does while you take it, in my opinion. The real test is what happens when you are done with the prescription. I am happy to report that I have not had to take the medicine again, and that I see several positive changes in my attitude. Not that I was ever a severe problem, I want to get that straight.
I guess that our trials and tribulations can really make us stronger. The best thing that we can do is wake up in the morning and try to make our lives better. The truly commendable ones wake up in the morning and don't intend to make others' lives worse. Nobody likes a dickhead driver, an ignorant customer, or a pompous jackass. If you can't treat people well, at least don't mistreat them.
King Kong was released on video today. Just felt like that merited mentioning. I can't wait until the movie about the assassination of Robert Kennedy comes out... he is easily my favorite historical figure ever.
Well, that's about it for tonight. This will probably go down as one of the more serious entries I have written. It must be that kind of night.
Goodnight, and good luck.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Sunday, March 26th, 2006
| |
4:23 am - The boy who lived
|
Often times throughout the course of our time here, I have made very clear my complete disdain for all things that are popular because of their style instead of their substance. The age-old battle of what is decorative versus what is truly functional. I have shown disgust to many of culture's excesses and fads... and, of course, reality television shows.
To that end, if it is indeed true that I wish to applaud and celebrate those things that are popular for their function, it should be doubly true that I celebrate those that are popular for both function and decor.
Yeah, I'm talking about Harry Potter.
Harry Potter, the widely lauded children's stories, is probably the most popular literary work in the last hundred years. Very easily, Harry Potter's popularity could extend well beyond that. Normally, this kind of popularity would surely qualify any pop culture phenomenon to be phony and pretensious. Harry Potter is completely the opposite.
Let me first contend that the Potter stories are not children's stories at all, though I think it's wonderful that children read them. The themes are extremely adult, aside from the absence of sexual themes, which probably makes them even more mature when you think about it. The epic battle of good versus evil presents a childhood prodigy against the darkest of all evil powers for the fate of the world.
Murder is commonplace; all of life's virtues and lessons are prevalent, and mischief is expected. The world of Hogwarts is truly a world of magic, but not merely because the inhabitants carry wands and cast spells. But because this world, however fantastic it seems, portrays our world in a light we never imagined before.
We all sort of have a power to cast spells. Ours aren't as glaring as Harry turning an animal into a glass, but we do have the ability to change other people and impact their lives with the stroke of a hand. Like the students at Hogwarts Castle, our lives are filled with lessons to combat evils. We face obstacles and challenges the same way that Hermione faces her schoolwork and Harry confronts his past.
We all have people like Dumbeldore in our lives; someone to turn to for words of advice.
The Harry Potter literary works are, in my humble opinion, one of the greatest accomplishments of all-time. Who doesn't love a story about magic? Who doesn't wish that they could have created a world so magical, filled with so many different and interesting characters?
My personal experience has been that the older we get, the more we lose control over our own creative energies. It's a welcomed blessing to enjoy the creativity that others share with us. Most of us are facing mundance challenges; affording college, dealing with asshole bosses, paying bills, etc. Or perhaps we're pursuing more worthwhile challenges; love interests, big promotions, fame and fortune.
Nonetheless, we seem to have collectively forgotten to pursue our fantasies. To create fantasies that make reality seem so much sweeter. We have really forgotten to stop and smell the roses.
Maybe it wasn't our fault. Maybe our modern lives are designed to this odd conformity. Maybe we are made to spend most of our days working thoughtlessly and then spending our down time recovering. But, maybe we can say fuck all that and enjoy our lives, too.
It would be cliche' to say that Harry Potter has had a magical effect on us... but true, nonetheless. Even though you can't hold a magical wand in the palm of your hands, you can still make magic with your mind. If we were never intended to use our imagination, we probably wouldn't realize we even had one to begin with. We can imagine the greatest of our lives' accomplishments. We can confront our darkest fears, and have countless finest hours.
The truly great artists are the ones that manipulate others' imaginations. It's one thing to create your own fantasy, but another thing entirely to communicate it so well to others that it becomes theirs, too. We can't say for sure whether J. K. Rowling's idea of Hogwarts is the same as mine, but we do know that both of us have our own picture that we consider ideal.
The author, I understand, was poverty-stricken when she conceived the idea of Harry Potter and his world of enchantment. Faced with the challenge of survival, she crafted a magnificent world for all to enjoy. Easily, she could have dropped the pen and paper. She could have found a job working at the local grocery store. Instead, she pursued the magic of her own mind and devoted her energy to doing something no one else could.
Instead of earning just enough to get by on, J. K. Rowling is one of the wealthiest athours in the world. Her books have sold more copies than almost every other author, and foor good reason. The moral lesson here is to pursue your dreams, because they are all you'll ever truly have.
Every once in a while, the public gets it right. They're not merely falling in love with Nick and Jessica, or tuning in every week to watch Who Wants to Fart on My Uncle? Every once in a while, it all comes full circle.
Let us never forget the magic, both real and imagined, that make our lives worth every penny.
Goodnight, and good luck.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Monday, March 6th, 2006
| |
12:28 pm - the 78th Annual Oscars
|
The 78th Annual Academy Awards took place last night and were hosted by Jon Stewart. Stewart is, of course, my hero... so I actually watched the show in its entirety. That's gotta be a first. I understand that the overall ratings dropped nearly ten percent. That's probably mostly Republicans who were afraid that Stewart might say something mean about Dubbayoo. Or they thought Brokeback Mountain would win and they have a problem with two fictional gay characters.
He started by teasing the left, and he of course had to make fun of Dick Cheney... the man is a self parody. It's all in good fun, but the small-minded missed out on a pretty fun show. Anyway, my impression of the Oscars has always been that celebrities get together and vote for the biggest moneymakers. Or vote against people they don't like, etc.
Last night I got a whole different look of Hollywood, but I think it's still an outlier. The award for best picture went to Crash, which was largely considered an upset over Brokeback Mountain. What was extremely interesting to note was that the movies that were nominated tended to be provocative and controversial. Obviously, Crash was controversial in many ways: discussing race and other socioeconomic demographics. Lots of plot twists made it really entertaining, but the movie should be considered a learning tool above all.
Brokeback Mountain confronted the audience as a love story between two men. Chick flick. I've heard mostly good things about this film; it's edgy, the dialogue is good, the acting is good, etc. Haven't seen it yet, and that's not because I somehow dislike homosexuals. I just haven't had the inclination to watch it yet. It was, afterall, the odds on favorite to win best picture so it can't be too shabby.
The other nominees were the George Clooney film Goodnight, and Good Luck... Steven Spielberg's Munich, and Capote. The first is about the red scare, and how one senator accused tons of people in the State Department and elsewhere of being communist. The second follows the Israeli Olympic tragedy and the revenge seeked because of it. The third follows the life of homosexual author Truman Capote.
It was a year for statements in Hollywood, which was really reassuring to see. Crash made a huge statement and a lot of people could connect with it. Brokeback Mountain probably made an even bigger statement, and did manage to win several other best picture awards and also several other Oscars.
All in all, of the six major awards dished out last night there were six different movies represented. Hollywood was said to have had a down year at the box office, and that's largely true. But the quality of art we're getting seems to be improving. Remember, it's not always about how much money the movie makes. Sometimes it really is just about the movie itself.
Every so often a movie comes around that makes you address who you are, and who we are as a society. It makes you look at something you never have before, or it makes you look at something in a different way than you ever have before. These movies can help shape our lives in some small way. They bring together their audiences and really capture something inside each one of us. Whether it be about racism, poverty, war, homosexuality, or whatever... some great movies really can help change our society. This year, we had several of these movies.
A quick sidenote, here: George Clooney was nominated for a best supporting actor award for his work on Syriana, which he ultimately won. Also, he was nominated for best director for Goodnight, and Good Luck. This makes him the first person to be nominated for acting in one movie and directing another. He was also nominated for writing on Goodnight, and Good Luck.
Congratulations to all of the Oscar nominees. Can't wait to catch up on the movies I haven't seen.
Talk to ya later.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, February 28th, 2006
| |
1:57 am - Shark attacks
|
Well, the twentieth rendition of the Olympic Winter Games has come to a close. Across America, the big story is the sheer disappointment that this team showed us over the last two weeks. Bode Miller is a choke artist, Michelle Kwan never should have gone to Torino, etc., etc.
I am no less than baffled by all of this negative publicity, and I have laid out a seven-point argument against it. We all remember the summer a couple years back when the media was spreading the fear of shark attacks in the Atlantic Ocean. Surveys and studies have shown that the media in general gave deadly sharks about six times as much coverage as normal. Attacks themselves reached their lowest point in years, despite all of that hype. With that in mind, let's get down to business.
1) Of the twenty winter games that America has competed in, the Torino games yielded our second highest medal count in history at 29. Only the Salt Lake City games gave us more medals, where we earned 32. We also won 9 gold medals in Torino, which is not exactly an easy task (also the second highest count on record).
2) We finished second. Are you fucking kidding me? The United States finishes second in the overall medal count and we're calling our athletes a bunch of failures? What on earth is wrong with finishing second, out of all the countries that compete? I mean, really, it shouldn't even matter if we had finished dead last. I can't play hockey very well, nor can I ski down mountains at eighty miles per hour. The Olympics are about comraderie among all the nations; a peaceful way to compete and display sportsmanship. Besides, really, what's wrong with finishing second?
3) Leave Sasha Cohen alone. She won the Silver Medal. An Olympic Silver Medal for figure skating. I'm watching NBC's coverage of the games and Bob Costas is asking her how she feels about letting everyone down. For winning an Olympic Silver Medal? If a silver medal is not good enough, then what is a gold medal? Expected? That's ridiculous. I saw that Sasha fell two times in her long program routine, but only one legitimate competitor did not fall then. The Japanese skater whose name escapes me ended up winning gold for that reason. Obviously the ice was difficult to skate on if that many people had fallen. A silver medal is an awesome achievement and should be treated as such.
4) Leave Bode alone, too. Yeah, that's right... stop dissing Bode. It was not his duty to win medals for our country. He didn't have to become a talented skiier, and he certainly didn't do it just to entertain us. Anyone that doesn't think he gave his total effort is lying to themselves. Let's face it... it's just not that easy to win an olympic medal. He did that four years ago, but apparently none of that matters now. Just because all of the endorsements belonged to Bode, doesn't mean that he is the best. Just because Nike is using him to sell some shoes does not automatically make him the champ. How many of us can ski that well, and if we can then why weren't we in Torino winning gold medals?
5) The media needs to lighten up. A subtle difference of opinion between two speedskaters, Shani Davis and Chad Hedrick, made headlines as a huge Team USA infight. Were we that eager to make news? All that happened is that Hedrick wished Davis would have competed in the relay event, and Davis believed he had a better chance of winning in his individual race. Lo and behold, Davis did win the gold in his race. He is the first black athlete to win a gold medal in the winter olympics, and if the media was looking for a real story they might have payed more attention to that.
6) Our snowboarders are the best in the world... again. I don't care if it's considered an American sport, snowboarding has become an olympic event. It's up to the olympic countries to suggest homegrown sports become part of the olympics anyway. Think about baseball during the summer games: it was invented in Cooperstown, New York. Does America always win the medals? No, and that's because we helped make the sport a worldwide game. And that's exactly what we're doing with snowboarding. Until someone knocks us off, we're the champs.
7) And lastly, shouldn't we be proud of our athletes no matter what? These men and women train long hours every day to become great at sports that the rest of us can only dream about. They compete against the best of the best from all across the world. Is it fair to expect a gold medal in every event? Does anything less constitute failure? I should hope not. The olympic games are about sportsmanship and good will to all of the world. They are certainly not about accepting nothing less than perfect.
Congratulations to all of our competitors for representing our country. Their memories and accomplishments will surely last them a lifetime and that's something that ought to be embraced.
In other news, the Atkins diet plan is going well in the early running. One day last week my grandmother made her famous pizza, and I had planned on starting the diet that day. But I can't resist Grandma Ann's pies, so I had to put it off one more day. Since then, the only carbohydrates I have eaten were at Quaker Steak when I had only a few Sweet BBQ wings. I have not had a single snack since I began the diet, and for me that's so astounding it's off the charts.
This diet is the first part of my plan toward getting in optimal shape for the police academy. This fall, I plan to be in the best shape of my life and have initiated a program that mixes diet and exercise to get there. The first component is to maintain this healthy diet. When the weather begins to break, I plan to gradually implement a workout routine. I plan to do more aerobic activity than not, because it's endurance that I need to work on instead of strength.
Everyone has been supportive. My parents have made special meals for me. Beth has been there to help me, too and that means a lot. Her mom made me a special meal tonight as well, and it was really good. Kielbasa, sauer krat, and sausage and peppers. I have eaten considerably more vegetables lately than normal.
I've noticed that after the first few days of dieting, I have more energy at my expense. With all diets, you have to try and maintain a decent amount of sleep each night.
That said, it's getting kind of late and I really should be sleeping. Thanks for taking the time to read my journal. I'll talk to you soon.
Goodnight and good luck.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Saturday, February 25th, 2006
| |
2:25 pm - Yuletide carols being sung by the choir
|
It's February 25th today, and this means that Christmas is ten months away. Valentine's Day has passed and spring is slowly on its way, but until then we have winter and more winter to survive through. In that spirit of Christmas, I want to make a plea to everyone everywhere. Let's start treating people a whole lot better.
Every year at Christmas, I get such a great feeling about people and mankind. When I worked at Tops, the Salvation Army had set up outside our store. I would try and remember to save some loose change so I could donate each day that I came to work. Some days I couldn't, but when I had some I did. And I don't mean to be boastful, but I'm merely stating the situation.
I wasn't the only one; in fact, I was far from it. So many people care and give their hearts to those who are in need at this time. So many people understand that the Christmas cheer is reason to try and make everybody's holiday a little bit better.
My parents tell me of a time when only one pharmacy stayed open on a holiday, and that pharmacies would open on a rotating basis. I think I've touched upon this before. Now, we need to have businesses open seven days a weak, twenty-four hours a day, and every day of the year.
I have worked Holidays, particularly the last two Thanksgivings. I can tell you that these are the slowest businesses days, contrary to what you might hear. At Tops, we had a full crew running cash registers and the fewest customers I'd ever seen. Almost all of the customers we did have were husbands running "Honey-will-you?" chores. They forgot the garlic. Or they forgot the green beans.
You know what? Do without them. What's more important, being with your loved ones and celebrating a great tradition, or having the green beans? Let's let everyone be with those close to them.
But the interesting question I want to get at today is this: What if the Christmas cheer lasted all year long?
Should it really just be a couple weeks of caring and sharing? Should we leave the rest of the year to let people fend for themselves? I did notice a great many people donating money to the Hurricane Katrina cause, and the Tsunami before that, and many September, 11th funds before that. But should it really take a horrible disaster, a terrible tragedy to make people reach out?
This is one clear reason that I'm a Democrat. I'm not sure which part of the bible says that the rich should get richer and the poor deserve to be poor. The Parable of Talents was one small piece and can be read many different ways. My answer is virtually the rest of the bible, especially the loaves and the fish.
Should there be rich people in America? Absolutely. There are people who deserve a lot of money and know how to invest that money to expand business. Should they be as rich as they are? Probably not.
America has the highest wealth disparity between the rich and the workers of any industrialized country. Out of all of the civilized world, our bosses make so much more than we do, even though we do their work. That means less spending power for the workers, and ultimately less political pull.
How then, if America has such a huge middle class, do we elect leaders who favor rich people? Well, that's absolutely easy. Issues like guns, gay marriage, and abortion.
People will tend to vote Republican because of their faith, which is oddly exactly why people vote Democratic. What's the difference? Well, the latter doesn't parade their faith around and pretend to be on God's side.
Does God believe in laissez faire? Wow, I hope not. In fact, I'm pretty sure he doesn't. Although, I could be wrong because I haven't talked to him lately. Apparently, he's too busy talking with Pat Robertson.
Does God want you to have assault rifles? I don't think so, but I could be wrong. Again, ask Pat Robertson.
Does God believe in taking all the wealth and concentrating it into a small group of people? These people that make their best profits off of a war that had no justification? That's a real tossup.
But, George Bush is a born-again Christian and he knows what God wants us to do. Ladies and gentlemen, there is nothing wrong with being a born-again Christian, it's even admirable really. But how many of you knew that Jimmy Carter was also a born-again Christian? How many knew that you can find God and still care about the well-being of your fellow man, too? Probably not an exorbitant amount of you, because Jimmy Carter didn't parade his faith around through his politics, did he?
It would be easy to claim that God is on your side, because who is prepared to argue with God? Where the problem comes in is when you balantly use his name in vein for the sake of politics. Think about it, how many gay marriage references has Bush made recently? How many terror alert warnings have we had since the last election? And you people bought it? Oh, man that's so disappointing. Can't you see?
We're selling our six largest seaports to a country with ties to Al-Qaeda, where two (or three, or four) 9-11 hijackers were from, who recognized the Taliban as a legitimate power but does not recognize Israel in that same manner. And Bush is calling detractors "racist." What? George Bush, accusing someone else of being racist?
My head has officially spun the fuck off.
Let's care about each other, let's devote programs to making people's lives better. Let's not be afraid to pay our taxes to fix the economy, to fix our roads, and to fix our deficits. Because if not, it doesn't matter how much money you have in your pocket... you might not have much infrastructure left to spend it anywhere.
Merry Christmas.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Thursday, February 23rd, 2006
| |
5:06 pm - Why dogs have it right
|
I've always been a friend of the dogs. Ever since I was born, my family has had a border collie with the exception of literally five days. The border collie tradition goes all the way back to 1973 when my father purchased Mott the Hoople while stationed at Fort Hood in Texas. He brought Mott home and she eventually had some puppies. Boss was the male pick, and my parents decided to keep him. Bogey was a sick puppy and he didn't make it long but my parents took him in anyway.
Then came the twins, Lucky and Taco. Lucky didn't make it as she got into some anti-freeze in the garage. Not so lucky afterall. But Taco, probably with the spiritual guidance of her sister, lived to be almost 15 years old. I was born one month after Taco came home, and we grew up together. Tick-Tock. She had the most nicknames of any dog I know.
After Pwee-doo, enter Domino. He's a six year old bubbas that likes to eat anything and everything. He's a good boy. My baby Molly will turn two years old this April, and she is the latest edition to the Watts family.
Why all this talk about dogs?
Well, I've been giving some thought to the way people treat one another today. My mother got a promotion at work and a bitchass co-worker is trying to stop it. People fucking have serious problems. Then, suddenly as I was playing with Domino and Molly, I noticed something.
That's why dogs sniff each other's asses!
Think about it. We've always assumed that by putting your best foot forward you can make a good impression with somebody. Or when you go to the dentist, you always brush your teeth like a banshee and maybe even fucking floss before the visit.
Dogs, on the other hand, are a lot smarter than we are. They literally investigate the absolute worst of their acquaintances and then judge them based upon that. Dogs will go to great lengths to sniff the ass of a fellow dog upon their first meeting. And it seems to be almost a rule that if another dog wants to sniff your ass, you should let them do so.
Brilliant!
You can tell if this other dog is an asshole (on no less than two levels). You don't have to waste time with small talk or putting on some kind of front. You don't have to deal with pretention; you just go ahead and sniff some ass.
Now, let's not take this out of context. I'm not recommending you go around and sniff the ass of anyone you've just met. Although I can think of at least five people that would do that if it were socially acceptable. I'm merely pointing out that by judging people based on the worst of their qualities, it might be better than judging them based upon their best ones. You can always fake the best qualities... sincerity, compassion, etc. The worst ones (backstabbing, infidelity, ass stench) cannot be faked.
The old Norwegian proverb that you do your best thinking while your in the bathroom is inexplicably true. Hands down. So, whilst I was making a trip to the throne, I began thinking about why this is. My guess is that there is not a more private moment in the everyday life of your everyday person. Could you do your best thinking when you were shitting or showering in front of a bunch of people? Believe me, you can't.
Also, one thing about shitting and showering: aside from fucking, these are the two most vulnerable moments in the everyday regiment. Perhaps vulnerability gives way to self reflection, and so on. Maybe that private, vulnerable moment allows the mind to think and plan. To compare and contrast. And for some, yes, yank their wank.
I've decided to go on the Atkins diet, and I have to say that it's a lot easier than I initially thought. I'm not extremely overweight, but I do intend to slim down for the police academy this fall. I've heard the crap about how the Atkins diet is unhealthy and this and that and the other thing. But I have to say, a lot of things that people do are unhealthy and that doesn't demean they're validity in any way. It's probably not healthy to eat pizza, cookies and pie all in one sitting either. And that's precisely why many people go on the Atkins diet anway, so the naysayer mantra seems to be preaching to the choir.
It's not really that hard giving up the sweets; the breads and pastas are the more difficult part. I've eaten quite a few pepperoni sandwiches lately, minus the bread. Otherwise known as a "cheese plate." I have to say, the spices aren't treating me too well on the other end, but hey... that gives me more time to do my best thinking.
Take care and I'll talk to you soon.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Sunday, February 19th, 2006
| |
2:16 am - Guys and Dolls
|
Well tonight is Daytona 500 Eve, which is something I would be excited about if I really gave a shit about the Daytona 500. Technically, yesterday was Daytona 500 Eve because it's after midnight, but let's not get too picky. Tomorrow six of my buddies and I are going out to BW3 to shoot some shit, have some wings and maybe even glance over at the big screen to see who is leading the race (or if anyone is flipping over).
I want to talk a little bit more about John Candy, as the discussion began in the last entry. Today, "Planes, Trains & Automobiles" came on... another great John Hughes flick. Steve Martin plays a cynical corporate lawyer who is racing home to Chicago for Thanksgiving. Candy plays a traveler, also headed for Chicago. The two keep crossing paths as the merry mix-ups persist.
This is really probably the darkest comedy I have ever seen. That's because of Candy's performance. His character is (again) a kindhearted footsoldier of underdoggedness, meaning well yet somehow getting in the way. He would go to any end to help his friend in distress (Martin), literally going well out of his own way.
As the plot unfolds, we become aware that Candy's character has dealt with much pain. The one scene that particularly strikes a key with me is when he's stuck in the freezing cold outside of the motel, while Martin is inside where it's warm. All Candy wants to talk about is how hard his friend has it, and how he has let his friend down. The pain he expresses seems so real, it's a little eerie. The look on his face looks like a man clearly dealing with some form of pain, and part of me wonders if that was the real John Candy for a brief moment. In the movie, we find that his wife has been dead for eight years and he is homeless.
With all of that adversity, Candy was still concerned with the well-being of his affluent, happily married family man friend. Martin's was the main character, but we've got to say that the real heroism belonged to Candy.
As John Hughes movies go, we have a happy Hollywood ending when Martin invites Candy to come home with him and meet the family. An unlikely Hollywood story for sure, but a wonderful lesson to be learned nonetheless.
It's odd how the people who have less tend to give more and more.
Watched "Guys and Dolls" with Beth tonight; the first time I'd ever seen it. It's a musical, which is something I don't ordinarily dig but this was a really good movie. Frank Sinatra might be the greatest entertainer of all-time. Listening to his music, he really does paint the picture like an artist might. A scintillating virtuoso, with humor (both lighthearted and crude), Sinatra is one of a kind.
My personal favorite of that era is Dean Martin, because I've simply never heard a better singing voice in my life. Hands down. What I'd give to have attended even a single show of these guys. Sammy Davis, Jr. was another tremendously gifted performer and entertainer. It seems as though, in retrospect, that times were simpler back then and maybe people treated each other a little better. I think it goes way beyond nostalgia when older folks tell us stories of the good times. I think everyone gave a shit about each other, and everyone was able to laugh at themselves. Today, it's easy to believe that folks just don't give a damn, and that's no less than tragic.
Paul Revere, Valentine and Epitaph. Those are the three names of the horses in the first song from tonight's flick. What a fucking catchy tune. If you've never seen the movie, run - don't walk - down to the video store and swipe it up. It's good clean fun, only in the form of gambling and drinking. Great stuff.
Since our last little chit-chat, the Spotsylvania County Sheriff's Office in Virginia has decided to suspend it's blowjob probes. You know, the ones where the cops go and get some head (repeatedly) and then arrest the hookers. What a fucking disgrace, I mean seriously. That's the fucking stupidest thing I've ever heard of, and that's something considering that Dick Cheney just shot somebody.
My parents painted the spare bedroom today; it was my original bedroom before my brother moved out. The walls are now North Carolina Blue, just like my beloved Tarheels. I'm extremely proud of my parents and all the hard work they put into our home.
At Beth's tonight, her mom cooked up some butterfly shrimp and we sat around with her parents and had a nice time together. In Ohio's long winter, the best thing to do is have good times with good people, and that's what we did.
Well, that's about enough for me tonight. It's getting late and I'd like to get some sleep. Goodnight and good luck.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Friday, February 17th, 2006
| |
7:18 pm - Uncle Buck and the police who fuck
|
Had some trouble sleeping last night and found myself watching on old classic movie. The late John Candy starring as "Uncle Buck", the lovable family charity case whose gambling addiction is matched only by the sheer size of his heart. I got to thinking: Buck represents everything we love about ourselves.
Clearly Buck had his share of vices, but beneath the mammoth layer of epidermis there lie a caring soul. Throughout the movie, we see Buck struggling to keep his niece Tia in check. All the while Buck is struggling with his own morality. And all of the zany escapades that ensue.
Buck, I think, represents an integral part in all of us as Americans. We all have our own vices; our own struggles with morality. Deep down, I'd like to think we all have a heart the size of Buck's. Buck didn't have much money, he drove the world's shittiest automobile... but he knew right from wrong. And he legitimately cared. By that stretch, Uncle Buck had everything in the world that truly matters.
What is it about us that makes us root for the Uncle Bucks of the world? The underdogs. Why do Americans openly root for the recovering alcoholic, and shun the one who has never picked up a bottle? It's not a rhetorical question, and I am not prepared to offer any answers out of my ass. All I can say is thank you, John Candy... wherever you may be.
I have found myself on the verge of crying lately more than at most other times. I'm not necessarily talking about the saddest or proudest moments of my life. Oddly, I'm thinking more along the lines of minor parts in movies. As I was watching Reservoir Dogs last night (hey, sleep is hard to come by), I found myself recognizing the pinnacle of artistic expression. It really hit me like a freight train. And this has happened a couple of other times lately, but the tears never physically form. It's not that I'm sad or anything, perhaps it's more of the subconscious way of recognizing life's moments of zen.
I went on-line last night and looked up the history of the olympic games, because I wanted to know where the games have been held ever since their re-emergence. I have the entire list compiled, and if I really gave a single fuck I'd probably type it out here. But, I'll save my energy and your time and opt out of that one. I will highlight one key area of interest, however. In 1994, this was the first year the winter and summer olympics were staggered. Instead of taking place in the same year ever four years, the winter olympics went two years after the last time through. In 1992, Barcelona, Spain hosted the summer games while the winter games were in Albertville, France. The 1994 games took place in my personal favorite of olympic cities, Lillehammer, Norway.
Today was the Girard Multi-Generational Center's party commemorating the welcoming of their 500th member. Beth and I helped set up some tables and speakers and shit yesterday. Her parents put a lot of work into making things look right and planned well for everyone to come and have a good time. Her mother has been going through some serious shit at work lately, because her co-workers seem to have teamed up against her.
It all started when the custodian was fired. The Administrative Director took it upon herself to assume the duties of Personnel Director; self-proclaiming herself the say all end all on the matter. In sheer ignorance to the board of directors, that Administrative Director then decided to hire the husband of the only other employee without any interviewing or vetting process.
When called on her inherent ignorance, said Director then interviewed four applicants at the behest of many Multi-Generational Center officials, including myself. She still insisted upon hiring the husband, and this has made matters both complicated and progressively worse.
For a final blow, the custodian who had been terminated has informed the Administrative Director that unless he gets a formal hearing resulting in his reinstatement, he will be filing a cause of action against the Girard Multi-Generational Center.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, everyone is treating Beth's mom like a second class citizen. Fuckers.
The last thing I want to touch upon today is my hatred of the anti-smoking sentiment that has become so prevalent in today's world. So many of the brainless masses listen to anti-smoking commercials on the radio each day and infer that smoking is worse than gunshots. The government has stepped in and said that smokers can't smoke in public places. In most states, you can't smoke anywhere. What the fuck? Quit acting like a bunch of pussies.
We're fighting a fucking ridiculous war... and we don't even have a reason for it... and our concern is "Oh no, I can smell smoke within 100 yards... I think I'm going to sue!"
Deal with it, panzies. You want to go to a bar? Deal with the smoke. What are we going to do next? Ban drinking in a bar? Might as well, because afterall that's unhealthy and you'll burn in hell for it.
How about the yuppies don't go to bars at all, and then whoever wants to smoke in the bar doesn't have to be bothered by prude, boring people? Let's ban them from the bars, and see how they feel. Let's ban them from going to certain places in public, because I don't like them.
Isn't that what is being done, only the other way around? Sure it is. If secondhand smoke is that bad, then why don't we start charging smokers for murder each and every day? Come on, it'll be fun. Put your money where your mouth is.
Oh, I almost forgot. There are police in, I believe Virginia, who have been paying for and receiving blow jobs in order to bust prostitutes. I'm a Criminal Justice major and will be a police officer very soon, and that apalls me.
The prostitution must not be that bad of a problem if the only way to bust it is to go in, get sucked off in private and then arrest the hooker. If it's such a big problem, you can find ways to arrest prostitutes and their patrons without paying policemen to blow loads in strippers' faces on the taxpayer's dollar.
And no, it's not the same thing as buying drugs. When officers buy drugs, they don't have to do them in order to make the arrest.
Well that's enough for me, but I'll be back soon. Take care and Matty loves ya.
P.S. Beth came up with the title; catchy, huh?
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, February 14th, 2006
| |
1:50 pm - Birdshot: Cupid's new ammo
|
Today is Valentine's Day, the day of the year that spotlights love and relationships. The other 364? Not quite as important. What better way to stimulate the economy than to make people buy candy, flowers and other cutie-pie things all in honor of St. Valentine. That makes perfect sense.
Valentine's Day has about as much to do with love as Burger King has to do with a legitimate cookout.
Happy Valentine's Day.
I've been watching the Winter Olympics in Torino, Italia. I'm kind of wondering why in some American publications we're calling it "Turin, Italy." This is another reason America kind of sucks. What gives us the idea that we can change the name of a city to make it appear more American, when in fact the city is both Italian and easy to pronounce. In fact, why do we change the names of all foreign lands that we are too lazy to pronounce?
Spain is not "Spain" at all, it's Espan~a (forgive the inaccurately placed tilde). What is so hard about saying "Torino?"
I can somewhat understand the country thing. Italy as opposed to Italia, even though it's pointless to have changed the name. Some might argue that Spanish-speaking countries refer to us as "Los Estados Unidos", but that's different. That legitimately translates to "The United States." All of those three words, the, united and states are not made up words... they are legitimately independant words. Italy, aside from being a country is not a word at all.
Quit fucking changing the names of foreign cities, it's fucking lazy. Did the 1996 games take place in Atlantatia? No, it was Atlanta, so deal.
In more upbeat Olympic news, the games themselves are one of my favorite things. For the most part, the competitors are amateurs competing merely for the pursuit of the game as opposed to carrying a football around for millions of dollars.
Take a look at the women's halfpipe. The US won the gold medal with Hannah Teter and Gretchen Bleiler took the silver. Along with Salt Lake City gold medal winner Kelly Clark, these three really advanced the sport. Typically, the men's programs have always been more aerobatic and the females haven't had as much air. But a few runs in the Torino games showed, really the whole world that: 1) Women can level that playing field, and 2) Extreme Sports are huge.
I've heard some complaints about how America recommended sports like snowboarding because typically we don't fare well in the winter games. These are "our sports" and no one else really in the world has a vast interest in the. This argument is wrong on so many levels.
First of all, much of the winter games are indeed "extreme." Flying down a huge ramp at 80 miles per hour with little protection down a mountain is probably "extreme." Launching yourself down a tube of ice in three possible ways at speeds in excess of 80 miles per hour is probably "extreme." Downhill skiing? Yep. Hell, even jumping and dancing with a metal blade on ice qualifies for that matter.
Secondly, there's a global movement toward these "extreme sports", witness by competitors from perennial winter pwowerhouse Norway, France, Australia and many others. All of the winter olympic sports originated in one country or another, before being adopted by the International Olympic Committee.
The middle of February is a terrible time to live in Ohio. It's unbelievably cold, the days are short and it's been cold for a long time. Everyone is bored from doing the same thing over and over again everyday; but you can't do much about it because that's all there is to do. Eat, watch TV... wait around for summer.
Life doubly kicks up some shit when you're broke, and I happen to be the brokest of broke right now. It's safe to say that I will remember college as a terrible, terrible time. I can't wait to pay off all these loans. Fucking bastards.
So, Cupid is taking his infant naked ass around and shooting people with arrows in much the same manner that Dick Cheney is shooting 78-year old lawyers. Only, let's hope that Dick Cheney is not naked.
Today's entry is the 86th officially, though as I have backtracked it is only the 84th. One entry was mysteriously published three times a while back, but I chose not to delete the two imposters merely to maintain integrity. Officially, the two faux entries will indeed count.
As today marks our 86th meeting, I would like to call upon an old joke that I am somehow reminded of:
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven "ate" nine.
Funny? No. But then who cares; today is about getting shot in the ass with love arrows.
I'd also like to give a quick shout out to Jen, my English 1550 teacher. You made this possible. When I win a Webby for "most cynical blog", you'll be the first I thank. Hope all is well and I appreciate that you still check up on my journals here.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Thursday, February 2nd, 2006
| |
3:44 am - Post #85... not the Fraternal Order of Eagles; the blog.
|
One phenomenon that I have not discussed here is facebook. Facebook is my more popular, party type lover. So it should come as no surprise to you that I have hidden her identity. I know how you can be about these things. But I have to come clean. You have always been my personal and much more intimate partner. We have laughed, we have cried. Mainly, we have bitched about anything and everything under the sun and so far we have not gotten in too much trouble for it.
This is my 85th post here, dating back to September 8, 2003. This means that you have somehow become one of the longest projects I have ever been involved in. The only longer project isn't a project at all; Beth and I have been together since November 28, 2002... Thanksgiving to be precise. So, technically, you're the longest project.
Anyway. About that facebook thing. Friends from all over the place (actually, a lot of people are your friend on facebook when in fact they are not really your friend at all) keep in touch and make terribly vulgar humor a part of every day college life. I even have a cousin who grew up in Elwood City across the state line and now lives outside of D.C. that I shoot the shit with from time to time.
I spend a lot of time on this facebook, but fear not... you are my baby mama. At 3:51 A.M. I have just referred to my blog as my 'baby mama.' Insomnia will do that to some folks.
That's enough about facebook.
What we really need to talk about is that this is the 85th all-time post here. I feel like that's quite an accomplishment. I wonder if somehow I can time it up properly and have my 100th post on my 21st birthday which is in 102 days. That is about a post a week, which has been close to my pace lately. Excellent.
How has the number 85 been important to me? As I typed that, I really was asking myself. I hadn't given it any prior thought, so that makes this slightly more interesting. At least if you're as bored out of your mind as I am.
Well, I was born in 1985 which is certainly a start. I was also about a month premature, and I am just now figuring why. Had I arrived in June, I would have to wait that much longer in order to turn 21. See, I had the foresight even as a young fetus to try and hurry the process along. Literally, I bought myself about three weeks and I intend to use those as bonus. I may, in fact, stay drunk from the time I turn 21 to my regular due date of June 3rd. I couldn't think of a more fitting approach.
The number 85 was also the number of the first decent player in the faux Browns history, Kevin Johnson. Johnson eclipsed the 1,000 yard receiving plateau in 2001, the first faux Brown to accomplish that feat. Widely, he was known more for his great hands than his speed or size. Dependable, but no all-star.
Come to think of it, the number 85 kind of sucks. I mean that's about all I can come up with right now. And Kevin Johnson isn't really cutting it. He turned into a bona fide piece o' crap after Butch Davis rear ended him out of town. With that spirit, I'll have to play games with the truth a little bit here.
If you add up LeBron James's jersey number (23) with Mark Price's jersey number (25), plus the traditional Watts family number (27), you get 85. Really, this has no significance at all. But at 4 o'clock in the morning we'll have to make do. LeBron James and Mark Price are my two favorite Cleveland Cavaliers players of all-time. Generally speaking, the Watts family is a diehard supporter of the Cavs. So in a theoretical sense I'm onto something here.
////Editor's note: Actually, those numbers equal 75, which makes this even less interesting. In which case, we'll add the number 10. I don't know why.////
The Pittsburgh Steelers are going to the Superbowl, and that is all I intend to say about that. They can really suck a big fat cock. Really. I hope they lose, but they won't. Why? Because divine powers hate Cleveland, that's why. Next.
Oh, I got one. Eight-five percent is considered the minimum for scoring a B for a grade in secondary education. While it's just terrible to imagine an 84% being worthy of a C, the rules are indeed the rules. In college, on the other hand, an 84% is widely considered a significant B, with at least four points to spare. Odd.
For our little celebration, I had intended on creating a catchy little slogan for you. A catchphrase, really. I was going for something with a little shock value, a little humor, but a little intelligent as well. Because, from my own humble perspective, that is indeed what this journal is abouts. Originally, I felt like "More hits than John Gotti" was the real deal. I mean, that's got a little something for everybody. To take a bland thing (sorry) like an internet blog, and give it a little more oomph (you're welcome), that can totally make the difference.
Then, I began saying: "Hey, why should we stop there?" The natural progression became, "More hits than Willie Nelson's waterbong." I really love that one... the problem is, it's TOO good. It sounds more like a great TV show than a blog. And I love marijuana references. Reefer-ences, if you will.
The "More hits than John Gotti" thing really is the better candidate. But there's one more question that remains to be answered. Should we use a fictional mobster reference, or a legitimate and bona fide mobster period. That's a rhetorical question, so I refuse to put a question mark.
I feel like the Gotti reference does more for the blog, but I don't want to offend John Gotti. I understand that's not something you want to do. But Michael Corleone, Don Vito Corleone, or Tony Soprano do not give it as much of an edge as John Gotti does. Even Al Capone wouldn't work as well here. The Al Capone reference would seem arrogant, and immediately untrue on its face.
Certainly we don't get many hits at all (it's not you, it's me) so saying we get more hits than Al Capone would just be fucking lame. That settles it, from now on, "More hits than John Gotti" is our tagline. And that's something that facebook and I just don't have.
Tune in next time when we discuss more endless bullshit, and delve into the number 86. Reggie Langhorne, beware.
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Monday, January 30th, 2006
| |
11:51 pm - If life deals you lemons...
|
For the most part, things have been going well lately. At least from a mental perspective. I find myself a little more focused on school than I have been in the past, and am looking forward to piecing together a future. Beth and I have been having a lot of fun together, and fun is the nature of the beast. We have a circle of friends that go well together, save for the typical dramas, etc. I love her, and I think we both appreciate each other a little more than before. I believe that our friends have a lot to do with that. It's the positive things like this that give us a real sense of identity and happiness.
I think that people have to go out of their way to focus on the happier things in life, because it's very easy to get caught up in all the mess. It might do people some good to concentrate on the choices and freedoms that they have and how they can use these freedoms every day.
Looking around, it seems like all we have is corruption where there should be honor; greed where there should be charity; and dismay where there should be hope. We see selfishness and apathy in the face of dangers like poverty and war. Mainly, we hear a lot of lies from a lot of people.
But what can we do ourselves to rise above all of this clutter? It takes a really commendable person to sift through the sands and find the hidden gems that make our lives work. I want to have my own video game store, but I want to do it big and in a way that people really take notice. I want to have a video game arena where people come in and play against each other in a competition. I want to have fun doing work, rather than dreading it.
How can we work toward achieving these goals? I think we have to maximize our chances for success by accentuating the positives. Think of all the capabilities that we have as humans, and how each one of our lives really influences the lives of so many others in some way. It seems like every action has a ripple effect that moves through our community.
I have seen a lot of destruction to that end in my own community. This area has been economically depressed for so long, and really depends on one employer to keep what money is left in motion. General Motors. And let's not get this wrong, General Motors serves this community extremely well. But the fact of the matter is you never want to put all of your eggs in one basket.
Really, the effects of losing GM in this valley would be no less than catastrophic. Not only would you lose all of the employees' disposable income, but you would also lose the entire tax base. Businesses who earn a lot of money through GM would not be profitable, nor would businesses who depend on these businesses.
This is probably why the idea of smaller business has become such an integral part in shaping America's future. You don't really want to have a single center of income circulating in one area. You want to have as many less concentrated centers as possible. If one business fails, that should not immediately translate into another three businesses failing. Instead, the emergence of more business should come into play.
There is really something to be said about locally owned business. You want your butchers to be from your area, and you want your bakers and candlestick makers to be neighbors you might have a drink with. That promotes a certain pride and spirit that people need to have.
We need to be proud of things as a people, I think. We want to take pride in our schools, pride in our country, and more importantly pride in ourselves. Today, it seems like we have less to be proud of than I can imagine. We're turning to less competent and less honorable sources to give our pride. Patriotism is one example. In the real sense, a patriot does not believe that it is a civic duty to agree with the country. A real patriot believes that it is a civic duty to make sure the country does not stop working.
We can do so many different things. We can bake apple pies prepared to our liking. We can invent so many new and useful technologies. This is an immense amount of potential, and that's what people should be proud of. Look at downtown Youngstown, even downtown Girard... and think of how all the empty buildings could really be great things if someone puts their ideas to use. If one day, a storm of willing people decided to establish a single plaza on a single strip.
Soon, the whole street will grow... and then blocks... then the whole city. It's the real magic of what people can do when they work together. It's just what the doctor ordered.
P.S. Sold one of my Corrections books on Ebay and made $20 :-).
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Sunday, January 22nd, 2006
| |
11:43 pm - Twelve hundred days
|
School has been back in session for the last week. This current semester, my last before entering the Academy, seems to be my most challenging yet. With that has come a confidence, though, so hopefully I won't fuck it up.
The relationship has not been going well lately. After three years you would think there wouldn't be a trust problem, but to this point it still exists. There's a fine line between being patient and willing to earn trust, and that line has been crossed. It has been 1153 days since Beth and I began dating officially, not counting the time we spent talking before that.
If I can't be trusted by now then I am giving up trying. Any problem like this should have been addressed in the first twelve hundred days. It's going on midnight and I am in a mellow mood. Too late for loud music and the sattellite controls are next door in the parents room; they're sleeping at this juncture.
Goodnight, and good luck.
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Monday, January 16th, 2006
| |
3:09 am
|
There's an interesting article on ESPN.com, under the page 2 section. I'm too lazy to provide a link for you, but how hard can it be? It's a semi-scientific study called the "misery index" that measures each NFL and major league baseball team and its fans misery.
Needless to say, the beloved Cleveland Browns topped off not only the football poll, but achieved(?) the highest score in either poll. The Indians faired much better, placing second behind only the Chicago Cubs. Had there been a basketball survey conducted, here's guessing that the Cavaliers would have finished at least number two; they've never even won a conference final... ever.
Ah, the pain and misery of devoting a certain part of your life to losers and shams. I don't know, maybe it's me but there's something about misery that really makes you feel whole. Kind of like you're broke, but you did spend all your money on booze and other vices.
Which leads me to next point of order: booze and other vices.
There are less than four months until I turn 21, which happens to be the legal drinking age in the United States. This means that I won't have to worry about being convicted of disorderly conduct any longer, which is always nice. Another great vice that we celebrate in our culture is gambling. If there were ever a time for gambling to make a "resurgence", it appears that time is now.
I blame (credit, rather) last year's NHL strike. When the hockey went away, the poker championships re-runs actually received better ratings than the games had been getting to that time. It's amazing that viewers were oddly consumed with watching the same men play the same game of poker more than once. Soon, everyone knew who Phil Hellmuth was. Many people bought his book; friends began having poker tournaments (*It should be noted that friends also accused friends of cheating, despite having little proof).
As I walked through the aisles of one store the day after Christmas, I came across several poker sets. Of course I bought one. You've really got to hand it to poker. I mean, really, the Cyndi Lauper's of the world become afterthoughts but there's something about taking someone else's money through semi-sportsmanship that gets the blood going.
I'm trying to avoid political discussion, as the last entry was filled with jargon and ass-talking. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
I do want to say that Jack Murtha was on 60 Minutes tonight, and I didn't catch it but the parents did. We really should be examining closer what Murtha is saying, no matter if there are ulterior motives or not. At least somebody with some sort of power wants these soldiers home.
I finished reading Michael Moore's book, "Dude, Where's My Country?" It was well written; funny and sad at the same time, like an Al Franken book.
I'm going to stop right there.
The Cavaliers have been eating ass for the last week, and in no way is that enticing. Ever since the glue, Larry Hughes, was injured the Cavs have won only one game. What the fuck? Is there no end to the persecution of my people? Even LeBron James can't make it all happen for me. Maybe I'm asking too much, but damn... a Cleveland team hasn't won a championship since 1964. Hell, they've only made it to two combined.
Yesterday, Beth invited me to come over her aunt's house for a family get-together. The food was great and plenty... I attacked the shrimp and the chocolate-chip cookies in particular. That's a pretty good combo, really. Afterwards, we came back to my house and did some fondu with the parental unit. They bought me a fondu set for Christmas, and we christened it yesterday with steak and chicken. It's a pretty nifty piece of work. Good for bullshittin' and eating and games and all that shit.
Good for drinking, I would bet, but not for excessive drinking. Given my friends, it would be downright terrible for that. If somebody didn't light somebody else on fire on accident, they might just as soon do it on purpose. And then again, maybe it's a good thing afterall.
Well, I'm spent. I'll be back soon to talk. Goodnight.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Thursday, January 12th, 2006
| |
3:36 am - What we can learn from the Alito hearings...
|
Today (if you're into the whole after-midnight thing) is likely the last day of the hearings for Judge Samuel Alito, Jr.'s nomination to the Supreme Court.
This is an extremely important day to address because of it's historical significance. We have the two-headed monster, Republicans and Democrats, duking it out through the use of sophisticated language and high-class name-calling. It would be extremely interesting to note that in this case, Sen. Arlen Specter, a Pennsylvania Republican, has been a champion for folks on the right. This should be considered a stark contrast to the every day Specter, who regularly votes for union rights and has been an advocate for abortion rights.
Specter has made public his concerns for Alito's stances on abortion, and this appears to be the cardinal issue concerning the nomination. More or less, Alito is being vetted for his job. Barring a freak incident tomorrow, he will be nominated... only wishful thinking (or decent druggage) suggests otherwise.
There are several problems with this process. Alito is widely considered a devout conservative; this makes sense considering he is the nominee of George W. Bush. What needs to be emphasized, though, is his insistence upon the idea that serving as a Judge in some way eliminates an individuals political agenda.
Even if you have to change gears from being a lawyer to a judge, the keyword here is "Justice." As in United States Supreme Court Justice. There, a lack of a political agenda is not even remotely possible.
Chief Justice John Roberts said during his nomination that Roe v. Wade, the 1973 landmark abortion case was "settled law." Ultimately, this means that Roberts would not in any foreseen manner vote to overturn an American woman's right to privacy. Why is this interesting?
Well, because Roberts did not replace Sandra Day O'Connor, as originally intended. He replaced the late Chief Justice William Rehnquist, who voted with the minority opinion to outlaw abortion.
If Roberts is telling the truth, which is iffy, then Alito's nomination does nothing to overturn abortion. Just to prolong the argument. The vote, if this can be true would again be a 5-4 majority to uphold a woman's right to privacy.
Alito has not answered many questions, but has been lauded for answering more than John Roberts. I might inject that it wouldn't be very hard to pull that off, because Roberts did nothing more than confirm his own name.
There should be more emphasis on the issue of executive power, because frankly that's a more hot-button issue than abortion is. I think Democrats need to come to terms with the notion that the abortion case is beyond their control. Had John Kerry won his bid for the Presidency, he would have nominated a candidate who better fit the liberal mode... likely George Mitchell, the former party leader in the Senate. That would have been in replace of Rehnquist, and O'Connor would not have likely retired under a Democrat.
Executive power is much more likely to reach the high court before an abortion case. See, abortion cases have to climb through the web of appeals before they even reach the Supreme Court. The process of certiorari, the high court's grant to hear the case, is no easy task either. Of the several thousands of cases submitted to the court, maybe 70 or 80 are actually decided. It should be noted that while appeals to the court are historically at their highest, the number of cases decided are at their lowest. Under Rehnquist, the idea was that the Supreme Court is the court of last resort and nothing else. That precedents were to remain intact, unless a particularly politically motivated case presented itself.
There are good and bad with this logic. Case in point: a disproportionate number of cases are not being decided, but one abortion case did make it through the process. This was the challenge to Roe v. Wade, where O'Connor sided with four Democrats and upheld the 1973 case. She did not cite any political motivation so much as to say that Roe was a precedent and she did not want to overturn a precedent. That's an honorable notion, albeit untrue. Sandra Day O'Connor was the first woman to serve on the Court... would she really want to overstep her historical value and reduce rights of women?
At this point it would be extremely important to remember that many Republican-appointed nominees have turned coats once they reached the court, though a Democratic appointee has not historically done that.
Generally accepted to be the most "liberal" of all present justices, John Paul Stevens was appointed by Gerald Ford. The George H. W. Bush appointment, David Souter was anticipated as a conservative activist, but has held a very moderate to liberal voting record. Eisenhower nominees William Brennan and Earl Warren were both implicated to be conservatives, though neither one was. Richard Nixon appointed Harry Blackmun, who followed a similar pattern.
It should further be noted that there is not really a "liberal" justice today, so to speak. Certainly the court has drifted between the extremely ideological conservatism of Antonin Scalia and Clarence Thomas, and those who have voted to limit that ideology.
Another interesting note is that we historically understand the 2000 case of Bush v. Gore to have been decided on strict party lines, 5-4 for a Republican majority. Conventional wisdom is wrong, as there were 7 Republican justices on the court. This means that two Republicans (yes, Republicans) voted in favor of a Gore recount in Florida. John Paul Stevens and David Souter are both Republicans, that is no mistake.
Hypothetically, Sandra O'Connor will have been historically responsible for the outlaw of abortion if Roe is ultimately overturned. Had she sided with the minority opinion in Bush v. Gore, the recounts would have persisted and Al Gore would have likely become President, which would in turn have affected the next election as well, etc. etc.
Anyway, the bottom line is that abortion rights are in jeopardy, but probably not to the tune of a full forfeiture. Samuel Alito Jr. will be confirmed to the high court, signaling a longtime power surge for Republicans. Scalia, Thomas, Kennedy, Roberts, and Alito would all be considered young as far as these justices go. And John Paul Stevens isn't getting any younger, let's face it. God bless him.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
|
|
|