I'm actually happy!

Someone take a picture... heh.

I got a call from Josh today, and he said that he decided he's going to come with Sarah, regardless of what our mom thinks.

I can't help but wonder that if maybe... since Josh changed his mind... maybe mom will too.
1 take out the light // start screamin

Billy and I are going to be getting the invitations out soon.

For a little while, I was starting to think I wanted it to just be us... elope or something...

But really, why should I let everything else get me down? If I have friends that want to be there, then... I'd be thrilled to share it with them.

I guess this is the point where I'm supposed to start getting scared. I haven't yet. If there is one person in the world I can count on, its Billy.
start screamin

I bought my wedding gift for Billy today.

I don't know if you're actually supposed to give the person you marry anything but yourself... but I felt like I needed to. Maybe I'm being a sentimental sap, but that's his fault. He made me this way!

Even though things aren't so good with my mother right now, I have been thinking about how I've changed since Billy and I got together. I'm still so much happier than I'd ever been. I can't think back to a time when I felt better than this.

I'm getting married next month. Even though I say it over and over... I still don't believe it.
2 take out the light // start screamin

Billy and I went to see my mother again tonight. I thought I would give it one more chance... try and talk to her about how much I love Billy and want to see her at our wedding.

When we arrived, there was a note on the door. She wasn't even there. She told me she'll never accept it... and that she didn't want us in her house together. She won't be at the wedding, which means that now Sarah and Josh probably won't be coming either.

I'm so hurt... but I can't let myself get miserable. I love Billy, and I want him to be happy and excited about everything... so I need to just drop all this. I don't want to ruin this experience for him.
start screamin

mood horny
music KoRn beat it upright

I got a phone call today from my brother Josh.

He tells me he doesn't know if he'll be attending the wedding. He doesn't want to upset our mother. So, according to him, if I can't convince my mother to come and be ok with things, he won't be there.

I don't know what else to do. There is no way I'm changing my mind about this. When you love someone, you stand by them... and Billy has always stood by me.

I've decided to go back to my mother's again, and try to talk to her one more time. I'm going to bring Billy again, because she needs to understand that he's a part of my life, and she has to accept us if she wants to spend time with me.

start screamin

mood creative
music AFI girls not grey (prelude)

Went shopping today by myself.

I wanted to give Billy something after the wedding. I know everyone is going to be giving us gifts... but I wanted to have something special for him from just me.

He gave me the ring... and I want to be able to give him something that special and meaningful.

Well... besides myself, of course. -grin-

1 take out the light // start screamin

mood bouncy
music Sean Paul get busy

I have about a month to get my mother to say she will come to my wedding. I find that really unsettling. I'm at a total loss... I just don't know what else to do. This is the most important day of my life, and I'm not giving it up for anything. I love Billy, he's my soulmate... why can't the person that should love me unconditionally see that?

1 take out the light // start screamin

mood bored
music Goldfinger - Feel like makin' love

Benji Madden.

You might know me as the stunning, cooler, more attractive twin brother of Joel Madden.

Then again, you also might know me as the guitarist in one of the best bands around, Good Charlotte. Of course my talents and skills are merely a shadow of our other guitarist...

Billy Martin. Best friend, lover... fiance, soon to be husband. He's the love of my life, my soulmate, my everything.

I'm 24 years old, from Waldorf, Maryland. It's the global epicenter of excitement. You should check it out sometime, really.

Hit me up on AIM at xbenjixxxmaddenx

2 take out the light // start screamin

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