||[17 Sep 2003|06:38pm]
||The Mars Volta- Intertiatic E.S.P.
1. Chris is trying to guilt trip me. I have alot going on at the moment, so NO, i cannot hang out with him whenever HE wants to. And I'm not sorry about it, I have to get my work done. I'm SICK of saying I'm sorry to him. Because half the time, I'm not, but I want to settle it and get over it.
2. A kid in Student Council with me, his dad died recently. It's scary. A few weeks ago, Tom's dad died. We're (we=student council) trying to find out what charity/organization/fund we can donate to, instead of sending flowers. So many deaths, it's sad... and scary.
3. I have to find time to do some homecoming float building.
4. I have to go college finding.
5. I have to bake cupcakes for tomorrow night.
6. I have to bake cupcakes next week for Literary Satire.
7. AP US Government and Politics. Period.
8. My schedule at work is killing me.
9. I haven't hung out with my friends in weeks.
that's what's going through my head right now.
I want to see The Mars Volta the day after my birthday.
But I'm pretty sure they're making me work.
On my birthday, the day after my birthday, the day after that, the day after that, and the day after that.
Because "birthdays aren't holidays."
I need a better job.
||[07 Sep 2003|12:24am]
i had work from 9:30 to 6
then i met up with Chris.
i feel bad
he came all the way here to pick me up
it's like an hour away.
so on my break at work, i bought him a lollipop with a helicopter on it
he kept on picking it up and saying how much he thought it was "the coolest thing in the world" that someone would just get him something out of nowhere.
then we went out to port jefferson
and we just hung out by the water
it was so fun
then, he drove me home.
and i feel bad, but he kept on telling me that he didn't mind because i'm "the most awesome girl in the world." and he said that i'm worth it.
he's so cute.
and we're going on a date next weekend
mini golf and dinner.
i sort of wanted to keep this evening a secret
so, my mom asked what i was doing tonight, i said i was just going to hang out with my friends while they skate or whatever.
and as far as laura and amanda know, i was babysitting my little cousin.
i sorta feel bad about lying.
but tonight was so great.
||[29 Aug 2003|11:10pm]
i've only been sleeping 3-4 hours
and eating only half of my breakfast, whatever it is that morning,
getting a black iced tea for lunch
and eating half of my dinner
but i feel fine
i wish i was sick
so i wouldnt have to go to work
i'm working everyday
if i dont have school, i'm working 9:30 to close
if i do have school, 3 to close
it's really ridiculous
cindy said i'm working as much as her this week / next week
and she's one of the managers
i just want to relax
and get my AP US Government and Politics work done
but it won't happen
not with this fucking schedule
and i didnt get my paycheck today
but it's not like i can do anything with it
i dont have a life anymore
i'm usually a happy person
but that all went away
i don't think i'm gonna live much longer, so it seems like a good time