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Blurty for Something Incongruent.
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| Tuesday, January 11th, 2005 |
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| updateness | ||
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| Monday, November 15th, 2004 |
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| yeah... life. | ||
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| Sunday, October 17th, 2004 |
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| i keep forgetting about this thing because i have a new journal in LJ.. add me if u want.. its BrownButtonKid | ||||
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| Friday, October 1st, 2004 |
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John told me about this old woman who called the bakery... ordering a cake for birthday and her name was Annmarie... spelt the same way as i spell it. He said they started talking about me, how he knows someone who spells it the same way and when she came in to pick up the cake he said she was the most adorable little old lady... this is what he told her about me.... BobbyJames23: just how your such a beautiful person and how whenever i see you my legs get a little shaky and i get tongue tied cause im in awe of you and how no matter how bad of a day i had even just getting a message from you makes it all better and then she grabed me and said sweetheart your in love she said i had this huge smile while tlaking about you that got me a little bit teary eyed... it's so beautiful |
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| Sunday, September 19th, 2004 |
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| so ive been in college for like 2-3 weeks now and its going pretty well. All my classes are good minus all the homework ive been getting and my totally awesome roommate Mel and i get along great! We made friends with Paul and Jess... and with Jess's roommate who is also a jess but we dont get along with her much cuz she lies to us and makes fun of us in her online journal. Anywho... just wanted to update.. its nice being away from home and on my own doing my own thing... i can finally be free... oh well.. i have hoooomework. :o) | ||||||
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| Friday, August 27th, 2004 |
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Today i woke up and treated my little sister and my cousin christine to breakfast.. which was amazing. Then i got my haircut from Pam and then i came home and relaxed for a little bit. Tonight i picked up Jordan and we met up with Tom at Panera. We had so much fun laughing and having dinner together... Then we went to the salvation army where i tried on this big red balloon and silver sequenced gospel choir kinda thing... and a wedding gown that smelt like rotten pickles. We tried on funny sweaters, mink coats, sports jackets and everything else you could ever possibly laugh at in the salvation army... people thought we were nuts but we had so much fun. I bought two cute button down sweaters and Tom got a very cute white sweater with a sports letter (P) on it... he looks like a flashback of John Travolta in Grease when he dresses all different for Sandy... it looks adorable on him lol. Then we went to Friendlys and had some ice cream and some more laughs and then we finally went our separate ways. This truely was a night that i needed... i haven't been out and had a good time in over 3 weeks and tonight just... topped off my whole entire summer... it was so much fun and i wouldnt trade it for the world. It was just what i needed and now i can just rest and relax and finish getting ready for school... my one night of fun... with the two greatest gay guys in the whole entire world :o) I love my boys haha. Anywho so that was my awesome night to end the summer... now im off to take some pain killers and get some rest haha. Goodnight moon. :o) |
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| Friday, August 20th, 2004 |
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i have mono, spent a good amount of time in the hospital but im doing a bit better now... my family is moving to michigan, im going to school in jersey... it's exciting... bleh... life is so weird sometimes... but as it was put by jon middleton... "when life deals me lemons i make orange juice" |
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| Monday, August 9th, 2004 |
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| i love him... but i cant be with him because he loves me so much i know i'll end up hurting him and if i hurt him its going to hurt me so much and i dont want to lose him... his love for me is so strong and innocent but i know i'll mess something up cuz i always mess something up and i dont want to lose this i dont want to lose him... it hurts to hold this inside... i have to somehow tell him before i leave for school... i shouldnt be getting this worked up cuz im sick with mono... i gotta take it easy... | ||||
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| Sunday, August 8th, 2004 |
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| im sick... really sick... i have Mono and its hit me pretty hard. I feel horrible... im gonna go lay back down. | ||||||
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| im sick... really sick... i have Mono and its hit me pretty hard. I feel horrible... im gonna go lay back down. | ||||||
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| Saturday, July 10th, 2004 |
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| My dad didn't get the fire chiefs job in new hampshire but now he is one of the finalists for the opening in Mt. Pleasant Michigan... i don't want to move to michigan. That's over 700 miles away from here... home... where all my friends are... but then again i don't have many friends so it probably wouldn't make a difference anyway. I should probably just leave and forget about it all. | ||||||
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| Wednesday, July 7th, 2004 |
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John is home from england and we went and saw spiderman 2 together even though i already saw it. He gave me cute stuff from england including the british flag ive always wanted lol. I feel so sick right now... i think i'm doing okay but sometimes im just not so sure... i dont have many friends left... but that's okay i guess... i mean im leaving for college anyway and my parents want to move... right now michigan looks like my new home... oh well. I can't stop them from moving so i just have to go with the flow of it all... I really don't feel well... i'm gonna go see if my mom will give me one of her sleeping pills so i can just go to bed and end this day. |
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John is home from england and we went and saw spiderman 2 together even though i already saw it. He gave me cute stuff from england including the british flag ive always wanted lol. I feel so sick right now... i think i'm doing okay but sometimes im just not so sure... i dont have many friends left... but that's okay i guess... i mean im leaving for college anyway and my parents want to move... right now michigan looks like my new home... oh well. I can't stop them from moving so i just have to go with the flow of it all... I really don't feel well... i'm gonna go see if my mom will give me one of her sleeping pills so i can just go to bed and end this day. |
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| Saturday, June 26th, 2004 |
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i need to keep this thing going... so i graduated high school... john is in england for 18 days.. he should be back the 1st of july. once i started feeling better about myself and ready to move on with a new relationship... jordan popped in out of nowhere and now i feel like gum on the bottom of someones shoe... all over again... i dunno it's just weird... i'm updating. |
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| Monday, May 31st, 2004 |
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i had my prom this weekend. the after prom stuff was wonderful... i didn't get drunk or anything. I had the option to get wasted but i chose not to and i know im never going to regret that because i had so much more fun being with some of my other friends and having a good time without alcohol. I just wanted to save my journal... im sorry i don't write anymore. Life is just... well... a crazy experience. I don't know... everything is weird. I graduate june 17th. that's all. |
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| Thursday, April 22nd, 2004 |
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i was cleaning my room today and i decided to get rid of some of the bags i have. I own many bags and i never use some of them so i donated them to the salvation army since i shop there enough anyway. While doing this i checked the pockets of them all.. and i got to my old backpack... and there it was. I thought i got rid of everything jordan has ever given me but i guess i didn't. I used to laugh at his work tie all the time (he worked at mcdonalds) and one day he just finally gave it to me so i could laugh at it more... the tie was hilarious.. it had french fries on it!... but looking back its not so hilarious... that was my day... im pretty out of it now... considering i never wanted to find that... a part of me still misses him... then again a part of me will probably always miss him. He was so beautiful... everything about him was beautiful... his eyes were so big and deep... god i loved those eyes.. and his smile would make my day... it made him look so pure and innocent. He had that perfect jawline... like jonny depp but he was much skinnier.. kinda scrawny... and his hair was so much fun to play with. It's been over a year now since the break-up.. since he's cheated on me... but i know these thoughts wont go away. Im stuck with these for awhile. That boy has forever changed my life. |
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| Tuesday, March 30th, 2004 |
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it's been a weird day, but no matter what he seems to make me feel like im so amazing. He makes me feel like I'm a princess or a movie star. He tells me all these wonderful things and gives me such wonderful gifts yet I still stay confused. The show is this weekend. It's my last musical at my high school... i can't wait for opening night on friday. Oh well, enjoy. MissCharIieBrown: you know those days when you feel like you're not good enough... even for your friends? yeah... it's one of those days... im back up at the school getting my hair done by karissa who rocks... just leave some BobbyJames23: thats silly your good enough BobbyJames23: your one of those people that you can never be upset. your beyond good enough for everyone your that one who keeps an eye out everyone your the one person that will somehow make a difference BobbyJames23: you effect people your annie BobbyJames23: i know im a different person for knowing you im a better man BobbyJames23: now i dont know if what im saying makes any sense maybe its all the pain BobbyJames23: all im saying is your something special and uqiue and anyone who doesnt make you feel like your good enough fuck em BobbyJames23: your superwoman there isnt anything you cant do and if any tells you otherwise dont let them stand in your way. BobbyJames23: i hope you listen to my bable and if its anything im still amazed i ever got the chance to meet you because your like something out of a story something magical BobbyJames23: enough of my babling for the day BobbyJames23: have a nice day |
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| Wednesday, March 17th, 2004 |
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Bored? (200+) brought to you by BZOINK! |
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Bored? (200+) brought to you by BZOINK! |
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| Monday, March 15th, 2004 |
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Saturday March 13th: The announcer spoke over the radio while the static went on, the tone of his voice normal since he was just doing his job. He told the news and i listened in... "body found by woman walking dog..." it trailed off as i searched for some song to bop to as i drove around town with the windows down. Not a care in the world. Monday March 15th: It was roughly around 12:40 and i was pulled aside at the end of choir. I knew when he shut that door behind him the news wasnt pleasant. "...Steve....apparently....found....suic 3:04pm - reality sets in. He's gone and he's never coming back. They said he was sad, he was in a fight with his girlfriend who broke up with him... he was heartbroken he was alone... he decided to end it all right there in the woods. He was never that attractive but he was such a wonderful boy. I've cried for almost two whole hours today... i've cried for him, his family, friends, and for the fact that i have lost far too many people over this past year. Death has taken my loved ones away from me... the numbers are high... and im just afraid of who will be next. I remember when i wanted to die... when i wanted to leave this reality... when i had the gun to my head... but i had someone right there with me all along and he helped me though... god i wish steve had that. People don't understand... when you leave this world... people leave with you. People mourn for you... you hurt more people than all the pain and loneliness in yourself combined. This year keeps getting worse. I cant handle any more of this pain... But tomorrow is another day. |
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Blurty for Something Incongruent.
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loved.
sore.
artistic.
sick.
blah.
depressed.