Blurty for Jerry Landry.

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Wednesday, April 23rd, 2003

Subject:Headlines from SMH
Time:1:06 pm.
Music:Fun-Da-Mental: Race 2 War.
Anyone wondering why I'm not in such a good mood today?

"North Korean flights unsettle crisis talks"
"Russian official predicts 'catastrophic' events"
"Washington is back in the nuclear bomb-making business"
"Bush bars UN weapons teams from Iraq"
"US determined to punish France for its anti-war stance"
-all from Sydney Morning Herald, the best reporting in the world in my opinion

Alex and Mom have recommended not reading the news, but if I don't, who will? The rest of the country turned off a long time ago. If we don't deal with the issues now, who will? It's my damned world too, and I have a right to know what's going on in it. Furthermore, I have a responsibility as a citizen of the world to know what's going on in it. If we shut ourselves off, if we turn away from the world, we're doing exactly what Bush and those other bastards in power want. We're letting them do whatever in the hell they want without consequences. We're shutting ourselves off from the world, from each other, and from ourselves. I'm angry, I'm scared, I'm upset, and they should know it because it's my God-damned world too. I can't turn away. I won't. No more. No more deaf ears, no more blind stares. This is my world too, and I'm ready to do what it takes to make them know it.
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Time:8:38 am.
Mood:very ugh.
Music:Gypsy Kings: Bamboleo.
It's too early to be up, but I had to get up to finish skimming through Women in Love. I still think it's very homo but still not that cool. Anyway, busy day today. Classes galore, work, plus still need to finish up my Ford Fellows essay. Ugh...with that said, I guess I'd better go and get ready for work. I leave you with a poem that I wrote last night. Enjoy!


Your Move
By: Jerry Landry

He makes a move, waving his arm in a
dramatic motion over the board and crying
“Check. Your move.”

I turn away from the book in my hands,
Regeneration by Pat Barker to survey
the board and determine what moves are left
to make.

“Why did you move that there?”
I ask, pointing to his latest move trying
to understand his motivation, to comprehend
his plan, his strategy in this game.

“Don’t be so cliché,”
he replies, picking up his blade and
sharpening it to a fine point, ready to reap
what he took the time to sew,
“Make your move.”

I look into his eyes, the black hollows
that recess into the inner machine of his
skull only to find a light within, some candle
flickering, beckoning me on to
make a move.

The snakey fire disappears, and my eyes focus
on the board, on the pieces before me.
Do I move something powerful, try to strike
head on, or do I move a lesser piece and
outflank him?

“Why do you play this game with me?”
he asks, throwing down his knife in frustration,
“Always with me, this game, this game.
Do what you must, make the only move
Available to you.”

“Why do you play this game with me?”
I ask, throwing down my book in frustration,
“If you already know what move I can make,
what I’m going to do, what’s the point?
Why play? What if I refuse?”

He laughs, a deep laugh that echoes
throughout the generations, a hearty laugh
that causes the tides to go out, that sends
lone dogs across the ages into flusters.
He laughs at me.

“Foolish mortal, who do you think
I am? Who do you think you are?”
He says with a wicked grin,
“This game was made for us, out of your bones,
out of my blood, out of our skin.
You play for life.
You play to make yourself live again.”

“I refuse.” I say as I stand and turn
towards the poppy field, with the intention
to skip away to brighter pastures,
but I find I am caught, his knife
is lodged in my foot.

“Sit down,” he says, and I comply,
“You have no choice. You chose
to begin this game, you have to accept
the consequences. You must play to win
though you know in your heart
you will lose.”

“Who’s to say?” I ask, as I pick up a piece
(I decide to flank instead of strike)
and place it down on the board,
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, April 22nd, 2003

Subject:Death and me
Time:7:29 pm.
Mood: sad.
Music:Cher: Taxi Taxi.
I was just hit with some pretty shocking news. My friend Diana's father died today. I have known Diana since seventh grade and her dad just about as long. He was a wonderful man, very energetic, devoted to his family, just a really nice and sweet guy all around. I just cannot believe that he's gone. I had for some reason assumed that none of the members of my circle of friends would have to deal with this kind of loss for a few years down the road, but here we are. I just can't help but think that this could have happened to any of us, that at any moment we could wake up to find our parent(s) no longer with us. My condolences and all my love go out to Diana, and I beg of the rest of you to talk to your parents and let them know how much they mean to you because you never know when the chance might disappear.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:A partridge in a kick-ass neon pink tree
Time:4:55 pm.
Music:Nirvana: You Know You're Right.
So, you may ask, what has been going on in my life? Ok, quick recap...

Literature and Sexualities is a blast. Dr. Miller, how do you get your face so red?

Brit Lit II papers are not turning out to be much fun. I miss Chaucer, Shakespeare, and the Brit Lit I authors!

Welcome into the world little baby Nutt, born today! :-)

Cartman: "EWWWW!!!! Ben Affleck spooge on my hand!"

Alex's friend Dawn has a kick-ass house with reading nooks all over the place, though the previous owner's habits leave much to be desired. I do feel sorry for her. Stupid crooks stole her toilet paper!

Last week of work means no more money for Jerry. Note to self: Find job soon!

Supposedly Closet Case is dating someone. Tip to girls: dating gay guys might seem like fun, but in the end it only hurts everyone.

French lab was packed today! Amazing how attendance goes up at the end of the year...

Stan: Do you honestly think Cartman would go through all that trouble just to make fun of us?
Kyle: Yes!

Ok, that's all I can think of for the moment, so till!
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Sunday, April 20th, 2003

Subject:As all of you noticed...
Time:5:54 pm.
Mood: relaxed.
Music:Talvin Singh: Kismet.
As all of you noticed, I have not been able to update my journal for the past few days, but now I'm back at Millsaps and updating yet again. :-)'s been a lazy few days. I went back home and spent pretty much all of my time with family (mine, not the purple triangles kind). Mom got the letter the day before I went home (Wednesday). She was a bit upset, but we talked things over, and we're doing much better. She even accepts the fact that Alex is my boyfriend. She admitted that she wasn't thrilled about it, but she's asked for him to join us next weekend when they come up to get some of my stuff that I need to return to Franklinton. We're going to load up stuff and get lunch. I think it should be good. :-) Oh, and if anyone wants a copy of the letter, just let me know. I know you want one, Ryan, so I'm going to send it to you post haste. :-)

Other than that, not much has happened. The job/apartment hunt still continues to no avail. I'm probably going to end up working for a temp agency so that my hours will be flexible but I'll still get money. Anyway, I'm not going to think about that tonight. Tonight, Alex comes over, we're going to relax and enjoy each other's company, and tomorrow will come when we tell it to.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, April 15th, 2003

Subject:Recap of today
Time:11:26 pm.
Mood: tired.
Music:Aimee Allen: Revolution.
My love, why do you say things that you know aren't true? Open your eyes and see the world around you. It's not all good, but it's not all bad either.

Tax day is not a good day for anyone. It was an ok day for me, but I'm afraid my shit's going to hit the fan tomorrow. The letter is in the mail...

Ryan, I'm sorry about your parental units being so restrictive. I can send Chaucer and his hit squad if you'd like...

Michele, I'm sorry that you lost your money. If I was rich, you'd have everything that you desired.

Shalanda, I'm sorry that I missed lunch today. It's been a crazy day.

Casey, I'm sorry for your disappointment. However, don't let that affect your determination. You're destined for great things, my fiancee for tax purposes.

Everyone else, I'm sorry that the world is so screwed up. I promise to work on a better tomorrow. Peace and love to all of you.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Time:11:25 pm.
Mood: frustrated.
Music:Cher: Song for the Lonely.
All You See: A Plea
Jerry Landry

All you see
is what you want to see.
Open your eyes,
be the man
I need you
we need you
to be.

You see all bad
because you want all bad
because you crave it
it makes it easier
for you to be
good? bad? nothing?

Others see all good
because they want to feel
You are not alone.
Rose coloured glasses
can be traded in
for black coloured ones
at the Kroger mart
down the street.

Two for a dollar special
hope in a can
faith in a box
plastic sealing
metal insides
Don't be like them.
Open your eyes.
Free your mind.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Time:6:37 pm.
Mood: creative.
Music:No Doubt: Simple Kind of Life.
Jerry Landry

It all looks so simple
Looking in from within
And out, the wondrous out
Which I am, you know
It looms in my life
Threatening to transform everything
To a new inside out world
Free from persecution
Free from abuse
But trapped forever in freedom
No going back
Impossible inversion
What's out is in
Being in means being out
Which I am, you know
But does he or she or her
Do you know, people?
I can tell you
I can show you
But wouldn't you like to find out
On your own?
Through questions
Through learning
Through being
Find out who I am
Come inside and look in
Find out what it's like
To look out, to be out
Which I am, you know
It all looks so simple
But not when the door's open
And everyone's passing by.

Questions? Comments? Hit the button below and send me your thoughts!
Comments: Add Your Own.

Time:8:26 am.
Mood: tired.
Music:Saade Dil Te Churiyan Chaliyan.
Well, I sent my mom the nine page letter. I'm scared of her reaction, but it had to be said, and I'm hoping that she'll be reasonable about this and it'll make her think. I just don't know what else I could do. She left me the choice of either this or going back to Franklinton. ::shivers:: Anyway, I also got registered yesterday. Dr. Miller forgot that we had talked about my schedule last Wednesday, so when I approached him after class about signing my schedule, he asked me to come by and talked to him. He eventually signed my schedule so that I could get it turned in, but I still don't think that he remembered talking about it. In other news, I'm nearly finished with my Forster essay for Dr. Miller's class. I'm up to the eighth page, so I'm bringing it to a wrap. Good thing since it's due, oh, today. lol Ugh, well lemme go and try to wake myself up before French class so that if Dr. Fermon calls on me for every question again today, I won't sound quite so idiotic.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Monday, April 14th, 2003

Subject:War Rumblings
Time:3:42 pm.
Bush turns his sights on Syria
By Marian Wilkinson, Herald Correspondent in Washington
April 15 2003

Syria became the potential new flashpoint in the Middle East yesterday when the United States accused Iraq's neighbour of possessing weapons of mass destruction and harbouring fleeing members of Saddam Hussein's regime.

The US President, George Bush, said "we believe there are chemical weapons in Syria" and his Administration claimed the country encouraged suicide bombers to attack allied forces in Iraq.

Damascus emphatically denied the charges, but concern is growing in Syria that the US will attack it next.

Only days earlier, Mr Bush's Secretary of Defence, Donald Rumsfeld, singled out Syria and Iran, warning they could be next in line for retribution as the US pursued its global fight against terrorism. Washington has long accused Syria of being one of the prime exponents of state-sponsored terrorism.

As the allied forces continued their struggle to enforce peace within Iraq yesterday:



 US marines seized control of Saddam's hometown and powerbase, Tikrit, as tanks took up positions in a central square;

 In northern Iraq, longstanding ethnic tensions began to resurface as Kurds forced Arabs in outlying villages to move from their homes, crowding families into hastily erected camps in wheat fields;

 Bitter in-fighting emerged among the large Shiite communities in cities south of Baghdad; while

 There were tentative signs of law and order returning to Baghdad.

Mr Rumsfeld and the US Secretary of State, Colin Powell, warned Syria against giving refuge to 55 figures the US is pursuing from Saddam's vanquished regime.

"Some have left Iraq, gone to Syria and transited to other countries," Mr Rumsfeld said. "Busloads" of Syrian suicide bombers had also been sent to Iraq.

"On one of the buses they found something like several hundred thousand dollars and a number of leaflets that suggested that people would be rewarded if they killed Americans," Mr Rumsfeld said.

The British Foreign Minister, Jack Straw, also demanded answers from Syria about its actions, although he stopped short of the accusation that it possessed weapons of mass destruction. Asked whether Syria had been developing such weapons, Mr Straw said: "No, I'm not sure, is the answer, and that's why we need to sit down and talk to them about it."

The tough US rhetoric appeared to be designed to pressure Syria to hand over information on the whereabouts of senior members of the Iraq regime, and to hold in check radical Islamic groups such as Hezbollah and Hamas in case they are planning suicide attacks against US interests.

Mr Rumsfeld said the Syrian Government was "making a lot of bad mistakes" and warned that if it helped Saddam Hussein, "Syria would've made an even bigger mistake."

Asked what the US would do, he replied: "The last thing I would do would be to discuss that."

Syria's deputy ambassador to Washington, Imad Moustapha, said: "It's been a campaign of disinformation and misinformation . . . about Syria since even before the war started."

He told NBC television that the US was trying to divert attention from "the chaos and the lawlessness" taking hold of Iraq.

Senior Iraqi officials had not gone to Syria, he said, with the possible exception of the former Iraqi ambassador to the UN. On the accusation of chemical weapons, Mr Moustapha said: "We will not only accept the most rigid inspection regime; we will welcome it heartily."

But Mr Moustapha also launched an attack on the US-appointed civil administrator to Iraq, retired General Jay Garner, over his support for the Israeli Government. Out of 270 million Americans, "the person who has been chosen to rule Iraq has close dealings with Ariel Sharon and has been praising what Israel has been doing to the Palestinians in the West Bank and Gaza".

Mr Rumsfeld said the US had still not found Iraq's prohibited weapons and for the first time suggested it would not be possible unless members of the fallen Iraqi regime helped the US.

"We're not going to find anything until we find people who tell us where the things are," he said.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:It's begun again...
Time:8:29 am.
Mood: aggravated.
Music:Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman: Come What May.
It's begun yet again. Before we even get out of Iraq and confirm Saddam's gone, Syria now has weapons of mass destruction. Amazing how these weapons of mass destruction move, and we can never find them when we go in and conquer a nation...

Anyway, in my life, I'm very busy. Very, very busy. I have a paper that I'm turning in today, an 8-10 page paper to turn in tomorrow, and have to get something down on paper for Ford Fellows on Wednesday. Plus, I have to look for a place to stay over the summer and find a job. On top of that, I have to mail off this letter telling Mom that I'm not coming home this summer. To top all of this off, Alex, who had offered to help me find a place and a job, is getting called for interviews and is most likely going to get a job now that I need him. The world is really trying really is. Plus, Michele got robbed yesterday. Isn't the world wonderful? UGH!!!!!
Comments: Add Your Own.

Saturday, April 12th, 2003

Subject:Trip home and afterwards
Time:4:43 pm.
Music:Francis Cabrel: Je t'aimais, je t'aime, et je t'aimerai.
Well, the trip to hell wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Only came back slightly burned. Everyone tried to put on their best behaviour, but I could tell what was hiding underneath, especially when they did everything possible to keep me there as long as possible. I finally got back at about 4, and I'm nursing away a headache while I listen to my suitemates and their 'friends' use the bathroom for an entire hour. Good heavens, get me out of this suite with these stupid ass queens.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Friday, April 11th, 2003

Subject:Heavens and saints, preserve me!
Time:8:37 am.
Music:Aimee Allen: Revolution.
I'm going home today. I've got to. I need to put my check in the bank and get my mail. Luckily, I'll be coming back tomorrow morning, but Mom's already making me regret the choice to go home. 8:30 in the morning, and I'm already regretting my decision to go home. She calls me this morning as she always does and quickly informs me that she saw an acquaintance of mine from high school the other day. When the acquaintance asked if I had a girlfriend yet, instead of replying with the normal "No," she opts for saying, "No, at least he hasn't brought one home yet, but he doesn't come home much anymore." In one sentence, she insulted me being gay and me having a life. Alex and I were debating last night whether I should give her the nine page letter that I wrote telling her that I wasn't coming home this summer and explaining why. We debated whether it needed editing or not. I think after today, she's proven that it doesn't. We had decided to wait and see how this weekend went. Well, I think I can already tell how it's going to go. I despise my family, and I'll now be all the more glad for when I have an entire world between them and me.
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Thursday, April 10th, 2003

Subject:Scary quiz
Time:6:46 pm.
Mood: jubilant.
Music:Madonna: Like a Virgin.
Ok, so I'm bored at work, and I decide to take one of those stupid personality quizzes. This has to be the scariest one I've ever seen...which high school stereotype are you, and see what I end up with?

Take the What High School
Stereotype Are You?
quiz, by Angel.

What is the world coming to? At least, according to this quiz, I'll be having fun no matter what happens to the world. lol
Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:Relaxed, but too much so
Time:5:13 pm.
Mood: blah.
Music:Dixie Chicks: There's Your Trouble.
Today was pretty relaxing. Not much happened here, but in Franklinton, everyone was abuzz. Apparently, last night, someone stole Mr. Ronnie's gun out of his truck then went over to our neighbors' house, broke into their car, and stole Mrs. Faye's purse. Luckily, she only had about a dollar in change in it, but she had to cancel her credit cards.

Ugh, I'm ready for something to happen. Sometimes, I like to relax, but for me, too much relaxing makes me blah, and I think I've relaxed too much today. I just don't know how to rest anymore. I know it's a bad thing, but I don't. When I rest, my mind turns to mush, and it's like I completely shut down. My mind is definitely feeling mushy now. Blah...
Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, April 9th, 2003

Time:12:17 pm.
Mood: cold.
Music:Winter Wonderland.
It's cold outside, people! Hopefully it'll warm up again sometime soon. I don't know. In some ways, I like the cold better than the warm weather. For one, there aren't as many people around. I love people as much as the next guy, but sometimes you just want to go somewhere and relax by yourself. Whenever it's warm, it's harder to do that. Plus, there's something to be said about the atmosphere when a chill permeates on every fiber of your being. I don't know. I'm just strange, I guess.

Anyway, I'd better go since I need to grab something to eat and head to French lab. Just wanted to say brr!
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, April 8th, 2003

Subject:It's gonna be a bright, sunshiny day!
Time:11:07 pm.
Mood: content.
Music:Kylie Minogue: More, More, More.
My day has gotten a lot better since Alex came over tonight. Being around him always makes me feel better. Of course, the VCR decided to try to eat a tape, but we bested it, got the tape out, and made sure that it was working fine. Ugh...I so don't want to go to class tomorrow. I've got work done though. I finished my take-home quiz and am about halfway through with my essay due on Thursday. Plus, work is progressing on my Ford Fellows project. However, after the Brit Lit essay on Thursday, I have to turn my attention to writing an essay for Lit & Sex due next Tuesday. Anyway, I'm going to go and enjoy a little more Alex time before he leaves, and I hope everyone has a wonderful night!
Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:Why I resolve to never have suitemates again
Time:3:23 pm.
Mood: aggravated.
Music:Dishwalla: Only For So Long.
Suitemates suck, especially when they post stuff on their away message that a) was ill-informed and b) embarrass people (note, when I say people, I mean myself) that they pretend to be friends with. Suitemates should stick to their own business and leave their noses out of mine. I'll be so glad to get the hell outta this hall. Lord help the people stuck in this room next year.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Time:2:44 pm.
Mood: creative.
Music:Sarah McLachlan: Adia.
It's good to have a boyfriend who admits when he's wrong.

The speed limits on the Interstate are there for a reason, my love.

Going to bed at 2 is never a good thing, especially when you have to leave.

I hope Dr. Fermon's house is ok, though not having class yesterday was a good thing.

Why, oh why, is French lab a requirement?

I know Jane Goodall is at Millsaps sometime today, just not sure when.

Flood waters recede, and sweaters fill the void.

Poetic sequences are the hottest thing on the Landry scene, when they're not interrupted by essays and long letters to a parent with problems.

Pull you from your tower
And take away your pain
Show you all the beauty that'd exist
If you'd only let yourself believe

We are still innocent
It's easy
We all falter
Does it matter?
Comments: Add Your Own.

Monday, April 7th, 2003

Subject:A crick in my neck and a pile of stones on my shoulders
Time:6:42 pm.
Mood: discontent.
Music:John Mayer: Neon.
Too much is going on, and nothing's getting sorted out. I'm still hunting for an apartment as well as a job for the summer. I've got way too many papers to work on. The weather's been horrible, meaning that I've been worrying about Alex. Ugh...ugh, ugh, ugh. That's my general mood. I wish that I had some sort of support to lean back on for this summer. If my mom would help in any way, shape, or form, it would be useful. However, I know she won't. I know it as well as I know the back of my hand. The only help she'll provide is letting me come back and live in Franklinton, which there ain't no way in hell I'm going to do that. I'm sure things will work out, just the fact that it's close to the end of the semester, and nothing's planned out yet is starting to worry me.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Blurty for Jerry Landry.

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