Ryan's Blurty
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Below are the 3 most recent journal entries recorded in Ryan's Blurty:

    Wednesday, November 5th, 2003
    12:29 pm
    I was in a happy mood today. The girl that cut my hair was very nice and very goodlooking. I actually got a good haircut, which is a rare occasion. Then I come back and watched the A-team. Why you might ask, because who doesnt think that Mr. T is the man and I am a goofy bastard. I started to talk online and i was just reminded of the bad situation my friend is in. Its just going to get ugly for him. I just wish I could go up there and help him out or even just to be there in support. I just hope he keeps his cool and doesnt say anything rash or stupid. I am going to be racking my nerves untill this is over. From the way it sounds this is going to be an ugly week coming up for him. I just want to be there to support my friends. Friends are worth talking to. Great friends are worth supporting to the end through the ugliest situations. Its in ugly times like these that your friends are important. When I go through tough times just being around my friends helps. Whether its just goofing off or doing something important, being around my friends lets me forget about my worries and problems. I just hope my friend can pull through this and the right thing happens, whatever that might be. I just wish I could take away all the pain and problems of all my friends. I hope my friends know that I have their backs no matter what. I just wish that I could be there to let him know that.

    Current Mood: worried
    Current Music: Red Hot Chili Peppers - My Friends
    Monday, November 3rd, 2003
    4:40 pm
    Well now, I'm back again. I dont know if i will be keeping up with this because i dont know what the point is. Oh well. Shortly i will be heading to the gym. I guess i dont update this because i dont have much to write besides that i partied all weekend starting on thursday. I also had the best halloween ever. I went back home to visit my buddy mike at salem state. we went to an off campus apartment and partied with mike's friends. his friends are awesome. they are mad cool and wicked nice. so we headed out to the streets of salem for the mardi gra of halloween, well maybe not mardi gra but the best damn halloween action ever! it was great, drunk people everywhere, cops, jesus freaks, and satan himself. apparently i had sold my soul to him, well thats what the jesus dude told me. it was nuts just people everywhere. i had such a good time. it was great to be back home. mike is a great friend of mine but i wish i had more time to see other friends. when i go back home it only makes me miss saugus when i get back to amherst. i dont believe i said that, but i actually miss saugus. amongst all the complaining and stupid stuff that goes on in that town i still miss it. on saturday night i thought i would keep things on the down low, but that didnt happen. i talked to my friend dana and she invited me to a party up in sylvan. i had a great time there but i pushed myself to hard. after two nights of hard drinking i should have stopped, and i also underestimated the power of barcardi 151. all i can say is WOW! i met some new people that night and i found out that one of them is in my 300+ person economics class, which is really nice. sunday i had work. Work sux!!!!! only one other cook i worked with was cool, and i only worked with him for an hour. The other cooks are assholes, they think i am some piece of shit. If i say something to them i will look even worse because they have been there a long time and i am just part time help for the school year. i stay with the job because the time i work and the pay i get is the best situation. 8.50 an hour and 6 hours each sunday, actually they cut it to 5 hours. i guess i did have something to write. things do change, so i hope i do to. Actually i am happy with who i am but i just want to be more sociable and organized, not to hard to accomplish, i hope. and as i write on my grammar and spelling get worse, oh well. its time for this stud to hit the gym (yeah, stud, thats a funny one)

    Current Mood: determined
    Current Music: Sublime- Same in the End
    Thursday, October 23rd, 2003
    11:33 pm
    poping the online journal cherry
    this is the first time that i have done something like this. i hope something like this will help me with my shyness. some people and places refer to it as social anxiety. either way it sucks. i find it hard sometimes to say hi to people. i don't know i am this way, well actually i do and this will probably be revealed over time. how come it is at night you feel the most alone? Ever since the game 7 of the ALCS i have been feeling lonely. i had never been happier since i had been single from that disaster of a relationship i had. by the way, why do people still ask about it when it ended 6 months ago? when i woke up the next morning after the game i felt so alone. i bet it was because i put so much hope in the Red Sox that they could win a championship for Boston. oh well, welcome to the tragedy of being a Sox fan. theres always next season. i just hope this online journal helps me to reach out and talk to more people and make new friends. one friend told me it might be fate but i dont believe in fate. if there is such a thing as fate then each person is the holder of their own fate. also if their is such a thing is fate i would punch him in the face because i am going to live life on my own terms. now saying that i hope i can live it out. it has been a thought in my mind for a while but i have never been able to live it. i know i am missing out on something and i will find it, whatever it might be. so i leave tonight with some hope. i will eventually one day live the words i write and live life on my own terms, but hey Rome wasn't built in a day.

    Current Mood: gloomy
    Current Music: Mudvayne - World So Cold
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