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Monday, June 14th, 2004
5:36 pm - ThErE's nO SuCh thiNg as GoOdByEs
If I could I would do all of this again
Travel back in time with you to where this all began
We could hide inside ourselves and leave the world behind
And make believe there's something left to find

We'll be miles apart
I'll keep you deep inside
You're always in my heart
A new life to start
I may be leaving but you're always in my heart

Now we've all grown up, gone on and moved away
Nothing I can do about it, nothing I can say
To bring us back to where we were when life was not this hard (life was not this hard)
Looking back it all just seems so far, so far away

We'll be miles apart
I'll keep you deep inside
You're always in my heart
A new life to start
I may be leaving but you're always in my heart

I'd give it up for just one more day with you
Give it up for just one more day
I'd give it up for just one more day with you

I'd give it up for just one more day with you
Give it up for just one more day
I'd give it up for just one more day with you

I'd give it up for just one more day with you
Give it up, give it all away
I'd give it up for just one more day with you

We'll be miles apart
I'll keep you deep inside
You're always in my heart
A new life to start
I may be leaving but you're always in my heart

I need you now, we're miles apart
I'll keep you deep inside
You're always in my heart
I need you now, we're miles apart
I may be leaving but you're always in my heart

current mood: blank
current music: YellOwCard- MiLes ApaRT
GiMmE a KiSs
1:25 am
this is it. tomorrow nite me n cait are outta here. goin back down wildwood for the summer. it's so weird. like i still haven't realized that i'm outta high school...i think that's some of what's wrong with me, like i'm startin to realize i won't be back at LF next year. like after the summer everything's gonna be soo different...after the summer i'm not comin back here...i'm goin to desales...i'm so not ready to grow up...i'm so scared...i don't even kno how i'm feelin rite's like i kno things are gonna change..n i think i can already feel them changin...even from just bein away on senior week. i so don't kno how i feel anymore...about like life in general...i wanna cry every minute of the day...but i can't...this is life i gotta suck it up because we all have to grow up...n i have the summer ahead of me...but still, why do things have to change when you don't want them to? i just don't understand anything.

bye philly n every1 in it i love you!!
*stop bein a pessimist because you're not losin me lOl i love you!!*

goOd NiTe
xOxO amaNda

current mood: sad
current music: BOTS OF SUMMER!!!!!!!!!!
GiMmE a KiSs
Sunday, June 13th, 2004
10:44 pm - _sO siCk of bEing TiRed_
sO we're back frOm 'SeniOr Week' was incredibly insane. nOthing like i thOught it wOuld be like. it was me, NicOle, Danielle, Forsythe, Steph n Diana, n we left sunday at like 6. me n Danielle drOve dOwn n Steph drOve with NicOle n then Forsythe's mOm brOught them dOwn later on. Aunt Coll n Michele hung Out with us fOr a lil lOl played 'Ring of Fire' n listened tO their 10,oOo stOries.. lOl i'm nOt cOmplainin thO. then Monday we went "foOd shOpping" which was an experience lOl....we went tO the beach n had the radiO gOin lOl it was crazy...Monday nite my cOusin Mike GillesPie n his friends came Over...i had alOtta fun that nite, mite have been my best nite. John Kirn lOl he was sO funny...Danielle <3 Michael hahaha....i gOt rug burn frOm slidin dOwn the steps...i wOn thO haha bitches...Tuesday...went tO the beach n Steph n Diana gOt majOr sunburn...didn't dO much that nite...drOve arOund...Wednesday...Steph's bday!!! me, Forsythe, NicOle n Danielle went tO the beach since they were still burnt....then we all went tO the Chinese buffet fOr Steph's bday lOl...then at nite madd bOys came over...Jim Curtis, Kev Doc, Pat, Tom, Larry...i had nO clue whO they were...n Mike Gillespie n his friends came back over...i hadda be the hOuse-mOm the entire week because it was Gary's hOuse lOl he'd beat my ass if anything happened. Matt MallOy, Andrew n Dan were over fOr a while tOo. MIKE KERRIGAN STOLE MY COSMOPOLITAN DRINK MIX!!!! sOme1 beat him up!!! n KEVIN DOUGHERTY PUT NUDIE CARDS ALL OVER MY HOUSE!!!! hhahaha because he is a faggOt!!! let's put cards Of naked guys all over a hOuse becauase i'm cOol---> LOSER!! n that nite we alsO had a mystery puker....hahaha it wasn't me either...i wOke up n fOund Out sOme1 threw up all Over the living rOom flOor n all Over CarOle's n Danielle wOke up early n were clean-up patrOl...then we decided tO gO get chipped beef haha i <3 the Star Diner...i came hOme n slept that day n every1 else went tO the Boardwalk....then at nite we did jack shit bc a cOuple ppl were kinda hung Over n because we're lOsers n nO1 wants tO hang Out with us. lOl we watched the Mtv Movie Awards n drOve tO Ocean City n then came back....Friday...Forsythe's birthday!!! the big 18!! lOl sO we went tO the Rock because she was a rebel n gOt her bellybuttOn pierced....n NicOle's friend Tim n his friends Dan n John came dOwn sO we all hung Out at the hOuse fOr a while. then they left n Cait n Aunt Coll came dOwn....Aunt Coll went Out n we went Over Matt's fOr a was fun but me n Steph were like sOber the whOle nite lOl bein sObies ain't fun...we went tO Wawa n then came hOme haha then every1 else came in at like 4:3o n i hadda let their asses in...Matt MallOy n sOme bOy came Over, NicOle n Cait went tO the beach with Aunt Coll, then me n Cait went tO Keenan's with Aunt Coll n Sam n "Tom" hahaha their 37 year Old friend they met on the beach...weirdO!!...he bOught be a drink thO hahaha....then Saturday nite Steph's brOther n like 10 of his friends that RODE THEIR BIKES dOwn the shOre came Over n were partyin with us fOr a pOng haha that soaked my kitched...them kids were funny...n then they left n Mike, YellOw-shirt n Larry came Over...GET OUTTA HEREEEEE!!! hahah that kid was sOo funny!! n Sunday...we hard-cOre cleaned my hOuse, went tO the beach n frOze n then came hOme.

n that was it. SeniOr Week. it's nOt as fun when it's yOur dad's hOuse n yOu gOtta be On tOp Of things. i was definitely the House-Mom. n that's nOt fun. but it's cOol the week was gOod n crazy. n i dOn't think it's pOssible fOr me tO get drunk anymOre hahahaha

*i miSs yOu*

be back lateRr...
xOxO amaNda

current mood: exhausted
current music: DashbOards- SeVeral Ways tO Die TrYing
GiMmE a KiSs
Saturday, June 5th, 2004
1:18 am - *tOday is yOur day*
so it's all over. i'm officially outta high school. i can't believe it....everything has really flown by. i feel like it didn't even hit me yet....a lot's been goin on this week.... school- *memOrial day*

tuesday....baacularate practice at the cathedral, then hang out with NicOle n get hair highlighted, then SENIOR NIGHT!!! that was soo fun...the SGA organized this little get-together thing where all the seniors met up at school n we ate ice cream n gave out cheezy awards for like "always sleeping in class" (Dominique Jones) that we all voted for. n then they played this slide show that was amazing it was so nice there were so many pics from the past 4's incredible how fast time's went we had practice at Holy Family, n then i had work n Jeanine made me go buy sundae shit since it was our last day there :-( i'm really gonna miss them kids....then later i was supposed to go out wth a certain hott boy but my mom hates me n we had a lotta shit to do for the party so we just went to target n stuff bc i am just the coolest girl ever.

thursday.... Baacularate Mass. during the day me n NicOle were supposed to go out to breakfast but my lazy ass didn't wanna wake up so later we went shoppin n out to was fun bc me n her haven't hung out together in a while n we got to. then the mass was at 7. that was so nice, even tho we messed up our dance lol. i got a lil misty-eyed when sr kathleen was talkin...our handprints are still there lol n we're not :-( but the whole mass was beautiful, i loved it. it was the last time we were all gonna be together at a mass like that. it's so sad. then afterwards me, mOm, dad, Steve n G-mOm went to Tony's n my fat ass got down with some chicken fingers n honey mustard...then i came home n talked to my boyfriend for a while <33

today...Friday, June 4, 2004....first i went to St. Bart's for the kindergarten graduation -tear- Codie was in it bc they're "stepping up" to first grade...n all my kids from work....Sean Childs, Ricky n Ryan Molz, Brandon, Gabe, Lucky, Page, Danielle....they were so cute, i almost cried in the beginning when they played that graduation song...i was like aw this is gonna be me in a couple hours...anyways after that MY graduation wsa at was a beautiful ceremony, i loved it. sittin up on stage with NHS i got to look out n see every1...all the students, parents, teachers, family n friends that were there. it was amazing. when every1 was givin speeches i just sat there thinkin how fast the past 4 years have gone n how i'll never ever forget anything that's happened during them...we've been thru so much....they've been the best 4 years of my life n i would love to go thru them again...i'm gonna miss Little Flower more than's become more than a school to me...LF is my family, it's part of who i am. n not having it in my life anymore is gonna be the biggest change ever....but i guess we all gotta go some time rite? i definitely don't want to tho...i don't think i'd be the same person i am today if i didn't go to Little Flower. i really love that school even tho i claim to hate it. anyways...they gave out awards n we received our diplomas, switched the tassles to the other side n then sang the Alma Mater. during that i looked out at every1 n realized that this is the last time we would be singin that as a was so sad. like it's really over...i can't believe it...i still think it didn't fully hit me yet will in August when i'm packing for DeSales....

oh yea n i got my car!!! 2oO1 PlymOuth NeOn (silver!) i'm way too excited lol i love it....

n my party's tomorrow...i'm sooo excited for that!!! then we're leavin sunday...

GoOd Nite <33
xOxO amaNda


current mood: indifferent
current music: BoN JoVi---LiViN On a PraYer <33
GiMmE a KiSs
Monday, May 31st, 2004
11:45 pm - > oh thOse WildwOod daYs
i lOve the shOre. it's my favOrite place in the wOrld. me, Cait n Coll went dOwn Saturday because Friday i had PrOm...lOl the prOm was...interesting i guess yOu can say...i had fun, but i wOulda had mOre fun if i wasn't there with the persOn i was there with lOl...i'm sO mean...the best part was when me n Cass ran up the steps of the Art Museum n stOod at the tOp lOokin Out at the city...we were lOvin it we're livin on them steps lOl...afterwards i came hOme lOl i went tO bed bc we we're gOin dOwn the SHOREEEE the next day!!

Saturday Coll picked up me n Cait at like 11 n we gOt dOwn WildwOod n went tO the BEACH!! the lil beach....i lOve it sO much...there were all these gay tOurists there but we still went n tried tO catch a tan lOl hOpped the wall tO pee...i missed summer lOl. we had wOrk at 7....i lOve the first time yOu're dOwn the shOre bc yOu see every1 again fOr the first time in like a year...Shann n Kelli!!!! i lOve thOse girls <33 n i saw Chris Celli, talked tO the Lifeguard, visited Tony frOm the Rock...memOries man it felt weird bein back. n the bOys frOm wOrk lOl thOse Irish bOys are crazzzzy. wOrk was fun...did 7-11:3o with MauriciO n Rich at Pine...then hung out with Mel n Kelsey n came hOme n watched 13 GhOsts n waited fOr Cait bc she hadda clOse haha. then Sunday i wOrked 2-6 at MagnOlia with Dave n then we had like a 45 minute break lOl we came hOme n shOved hOt dOgs dOwn our thrOats n then came back tO dO 7:30-clOse...clOse was 1:3o am lOl we gOt Outta there like 2...i saw Cory n Jeff up there that was funny....n sOme asshOle definitely squirted me with a fuckin water gun...bastard lOl..then at 2 me n Cait went back tO NicOle n Danielle's n gOt Our drink on lOl we were smammered jumpin on the beds n callin bOys..ppl def knOcked On the windOw lOl n NicOle talked tO Billy G's girlfriend....hahahaha funniest thing ever :-)

then tOday we wOrked 1o-2 lOl i thOught i wOuld be really hung Over but i was Ok...afterwards me, my mOm, Cait n Coll went tO Pizza n Cait treated lOl...then hadda cOme back tO stupid Philly...traffic was awful me n Cait slept...this week is gOnna be pretty crazy...have alOtta shit tO dO...n Friday i'm graduating!! hOw crazy is that ? i can't believe it's over....:-(...i'll write abOut all that later because i'm tired

GoOd NiTe
xOxO amaNda

current mood: tired
current music: BriTney- OutraGeOus
GiMmE a KiSs
Thursday, May 27th, 2004
11:28 pm - ``it's just one of thOse days``
so let's see today was a bad day. school we had a physics exam which was ok, n english n then graduation practice. it was so boring, but i got chills when they played that song. i can't believe i'm graduating next's way too crazy. i thought i was gonna cry a couple times because i was sittin there thinkin bout how its all over....tomorrow's our last day of classes!!! i really can't believe it...everything's starting to hit me n i hate it. then after school we had the car wash...which was fun, probably the best part of the day. we all got soaked lol hope the teachers appreciate it. then my mom picked me up n we got in a fight because she basically thinks i'm an immature, irresponsible idiot who spends way too much money. but i don't wanna talk about that because it got me way too upset i hadda leave my house. then i had work n we cleaned the whole time n watched miracle...last day of that's next week....i'm gonna miss them kids...then after work i fell asleep in my bed for like an hour because i didn't wanna talk to my mom. so i was makin this scrapbook thing...lookin at all these old pics from freshman year...i really was gonna cry, i am way too old...i hate it. i wish i could live high school all over again. they don't lie when they say you blink n those years are gone...they were the best years of my 18 years of life. so i don't mean to be was just not the best day of my life....i was upset.

i sooooo cannot wait for the shore....i love goin down there, i think it'll make me feel better. down there i think i'm my true self...that's what i love about it. i have no1 holdin my back, i don't gotta pretend to be any1 other than myself. it's like a whole different world down there, n i love it. me n cait cannot wait to get down...we're workin saturday, sunday n it should be fun. i need money, because like my mom says i'm a stupid poor girl who spends too much money. tomorrw's frankford's prom...i hope it's fun, i'm kinda excited.....

till monday...
xOxO amaNda

current mood: depressed
current music: Dashboards
GiMmE a KiSs
Tuesday, May 25th, 2004
11:53 pm - -(i wiSh tHaT yOu'd waNt mE nOw)-
You are CLARISSA EXPLAINS IT ALL. She is a rad
chick with absolutely no fashion sense. If you
are a guy and chose this... you are gay.

Which old school Nickelodeon show are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
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PASSIONATE LOVER. You love to love, always looking
for a relationship. You cannot live without it.
Your lover must be passionate and you want
that you and your partner melt into each other.
He/She should not try to take the domination .
You dont want a relationship without passion,
and the sexuality plays a big part. The first
moment you meet him/her is one of the most
important. There has to be something between
you , you cannot explain. From the first moment
on everything must fix. But when this passion
disappears you disappear to. For you it is
better to leave than to see your love

PLEASE VOTE, I want to know what you think about my
quiz, I worked hard on it.You can always
message me or tell me how I can improve that
quiz. Ill sure write back.

~THE big LOVE TEST!! What do you need? With PICS! For girls and boys!~
brought to you by Quizilla

my little pony
You're My Little Pony!! Sweet and innocent and
happy, you make people want to spew burrito
chunks. Even a Care Bear could kick your ass.

What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

current mood: bored
current music: GoOd NiTe KiSs <33
GiMmE a KiSs
Monday, May 24th, 2004
11:14 pm - )- 11 mOre days -(
i haven't updated this shit in a while....did i suddenly get a life or sOmething?? lOl nahh..i dOn't have a life sO there's nOthing tO write abOut. this weekend was fun...we had off Friday sOo Thursday me, Cait n Cassy went tO Cory n Jeff's last hOme game...[tear]...n then me n Cait tOok the neOn tO pick up Jenn tO take her tO the hOspital tO see the baby brOther...i gOt tO hOld him :-) he's the cutest thing ever!! he has sOme big feet thO lOl Cait even thO he weighs 4 pOunds. me n Cait did nOthing that nite beCause we're lOsers...just drOve arOund in the neOn fOr a lil. then Friday i slept till 2 because i am a bum n then Marie called me, sO me, her Cait n Cassy went tO the Neshaminy Mall n met Cory n Jeff there...i gOt the cutest dress fOr my graduatiOn party!!! i <3 it!! then me, Cait, Cass n the bOys went back tO Cait's n just hung Out there n then i stayed Over Cait's beCause it was my parents' wedding anniversary...lOl o0o0o0o0o0o....n we had a phOne party with Bri, Drew n Bob until like 5:3o...lOl we almOst saw the sun cOme n Cait were walkin rOund her blOck like was fun Saturday i came hOme n slept till like 5 n then went with my parents tO Bridget Maenner's graduatiOn was sOo much fun i definitely gOt drunk with my parents...well my dad...we played beer pOng vs Bridget n her dad...lOl we was pretty crazy...playin flip the cup with mOm n dad mOm's lile 'dOn't drink it sO fast' n i was like 'mOm that's hOw yOu win'....lOl there were alOtta girls frOm schOol there...we were swimmin lOl whirlpOol it was sO much fun i was glad i went...n Sunday sucked as usual...went Out with my mOmma tO get a graduatiOn dress n stuff...n then did a stupid bOok review on The Joy Luck Club which i didn't read...sOo much fun!!!

sOo let's see....11 mOre days till i graduate!! that is the absOlute craziest thing i ever 11 days i'll be outta Little FlOwer...i'm gOnna die lOl that schOol has been my life fOr 4 years n nOw i'm leavin...[tEar]...but at least i have the summer tO lOok fOrward tO...i can't wait tO get dOwn the's just a whOle different wOrld dOwn there n i miss it...i dOn't wanna be leavin yOu thO...

this shOuld be a fast week!! i am brOke as a jOke n abOut tO becOme a stripper tO get sOme mOney...gOnna be wOrkin this weekend dOwn the shOre!!! make sure yaz cOme visit me n Cait on the bOardwalk lOl

_*DaYs n WeEks n mOnthS cOuld gO by...n yOu'd still be on my miNd* don't worry lOl

*GoOd NiTe*
xOxO amaNda

current mood: blank
current music: BriTney- BraVe NeW GiRl
GiMmE a KiSs
Sunday, May 16th, 2004
11:01 pm - + ThIs StOrY's OLd but it gOes On n oN unTiL we DiSaPpeaR +
sO this weekend was a gOod One...Friday was the Mother-Daughther Dance....last One [tear] was fun, we all gOt Our grOoves On with Our mOmmas...n it was a luau [spell-check]... tOri n her mOm were awesOme with their grass skirts n shirts n flOwers...we played LIMBO lOl but sOme tiny ass freshman wOn Only cuz they stOpped it...i had sO much fun dancin with all my girls...GREASE lOl n I WILL SURVIVE...the whOle nite was fun cuz it was Our last dance at Little FlOwer :-( the underclassmen fuCked up the Alma MateR lOl -idiOts- but it was cOol i lOved it. after the dance me, NicOle, hOlly n Our mOmmys all hit up Tiffany's Diner...gOt sOme chipped beer lOl n my mOm gOt ice cream On a waffle...we all gOt fOod we were hungry girls...i gOt hOme at like 12 n passed Out....lOng week my ass was tired!!! mOm wOke me up because my gOdsOn babi ScOtt --bOrn On Thursday, May 13, 2oO4 at 3:3o pm, weighed 4 lbs. 2 oz-- he's still in the hOspital because he's a little guy but he has a pnymonia [spell-check] n we hadda gO see him. he's sO little!! he lOoks like Codie...he's sOo cute, i can't wait till he gets better n can cOme hOme n we can hOld him n stuff.....anyways we were at the hOspital fOrever!!! n then i came hOme n did nOthing in my hOuse until NicOle came n gOt me at 9 tO gO tO MiChelle's graduatiOn was fun, there were alOtta girls frOm schOol, NicOle, Holly, Danielle, Danielle, Bridget, Grace, Breana, Michelle, Jill, Brenna, Kelly, NicOle...etC....then when it was Over i decided tO be a rebel n went Over Bri's...<3...i didn't wanna leave...but i had tO n gOt stOpped by a cOp On the way lOl...n then me, Bri n Bob had a party On the phOne till times lOl my mOm hadda interrupt it....<33

Derek n Joe stOpped by felt like freshmen year....they really haven't changed they're still retarded lOl but they're fun...n then at like 1o:Oo Steve White called me...weird!!! they were my crew frOm freshman year n i haven't seen em in fOrever n the twO of em decide tO stOp arOund tOday n then Steve calls me tOnite Outta nOwhere...i can't believe it's been like Over 3 years since they first came in my's sO weird hOw things change, ppl mOve On n time flies.

_ i dunnO if it's the tinGles i get in my stOmaCh
Or when i smiLe beCause i'm thinKin of yOu _
_ it cOuld even bE the way my hEart bEats whEn we kiSs
all i knO fOr surE is that there's nO beTter fEeling_
_ thEn the fEeling i haVe when i'm wiTh yOu_

GoOd NiTe <33
xOxO amaNda

current mood: happy
current music: FaLL OuT BoY- SaTuRdAy
1 kiss| GiMmE a KiSs
Wednesday, May 12th, 2004
10:58 pm - _we'Re the cOolest kiDs n we taKe what we can gEt_
tOnite me, Danielle, NicOle n Holly hung Out fOr a lil n went tO Old Navy n just drOve arOund n stuff. we were all in NicOle's car screamin FallOut Boy n just laughin n stuff, n i kept thinkin abOut hOw next year it's nOt gOnna be like that...i lOve them girls sOo much n we're all gettin separated next year...well nOt Danielle n NicOle...but perfect wOrld is gOnna cOme tO an end sOon :-(


GoOd NiTe <33
xOxO amaNda

<33 you make me feel lucky as I can be...

current mood: thoughtful
current music: BliNk 182- DaMmiT
1 kiss| GiMmE a KiSs
Sunday, May 9th, 2004
12:07 pm
this weekend was funnn....Friday hung Out with NicOle, Danielle, Cait n Cassy...went tO Friendly's n Solly's carnival then hung Out with Andrew n Matt n them fOr like 1o min....i had fun with my girls cuz i haven't really chilled with them in a while....Saturday my parents left me with Stephen....sOo he hung Out with us lOl me n Cait are alcOhOlics but it was fun....n later Bri, Drew n Dave came Over....i had sO much fun lOl me n Cait sOo needa be On was crazy but i lOved it...i missed yOu <33

nOw i'm waiting fOr the parents tO cOme hOme...they didn't even leave's Mother's Day tOo lOl n she's nOt here....i'm bOred sOoO.....

Last Cigarette: never!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last Alcoholic Drink:: ummm like 12 hOurs agO
Last Car Ride:: in Dave's pimp ride like 12 hOurs agO
Last Kiss:: Bri 12 hOurs agO lOl <33
Last Good Cry:: ummmm i dOn't really have "gOod cries", just little stupid Ones
Last Library Book checked out:: the One that me n NicOle never returned n they said i Owe $6o...$6o my ass!! lOl
Last Movie Seen in Theatres:: MEAN GIRLS On Tuesday with Cait n Mel
Last Book Read:: i dOn't read but i'm suppOsed tO be reading 'The Joy Luck Club' fOr schOol
Last Movie Rented:: i have nO clue
Last Cuss Word Uttered: the darn 'F' wOrd
Last Beverage Drank:: Stephen's gatOrade
Last Food Consumed:: salad
Last Crush:: BriaNN
Last Phone Call:: my mOmma....she abandOned me
Last TV Show Watched:: PiMp mY RiDe
Last Time Showered:: yesterday
Last Shoes Worn:: black classics
Last CD Played:: CoHeed n CaMbria
Last Item Bought:: cOke frOm Wawa
Last Download:: ummm Kanye West 'New WorkOut Plan'
Last Annoyance:: my cat making these weird ass nOises
Last Disappointment:: Bri nOt cOmin Over tO watch NemO yesterday lOl but i saw him last nite sO it was cOol
Last Soda Drank:: CoKe lOl
Last Thing Written: my name On my mOmmy's Mother's Day card
Last Key Used:: my back dOor key
Last Word Spoken:: 'what kind Of dressing yOu get me?'
Last Sleep:: at like 9 when i wOke up tOday
Last IM:: 2 secOnds agO tO Matt
Last Sexual Fantasy:: hahahaha
Last Weird Encounter:: lOl umm Friday at that carnival then at that hOuse with Andrew n Matt...that was pretty weird
Last Ice Cream Eaten:: ummm i have nO clue
Last Time Amused:: last niteeeeeeeeeeee...Cait cracks me up....we sOo needa be On TV
Last Time Wanting To Die:: ummmm
Last Time In Love:: rite nOw <33
Last Time Hugged:: ummm Drew last nite
Last Time Scolded:: scOlded hahaha umm i dunnO
Last Time Resentful:: hmm i dunnO
Last Chair Sat In:: this hard white One
Last Lipstick Used:: the lip glOss frOm last nite
Last Underwear Worn:: black Britney Spears hOtt pants lOl
Last Bra Worn:: green
Last Shirt Worn:: black AerOpastle shirt that i still have On frOm last nite
Last Webpage Visited:: Blurty.cOm

current mood: cheerful
current music: TaKiNg BaCk SuNdAy- SuMmEr StARs
1 kiss| GiMmE a KiSs
Thursday, May 6th, 2004
11:11 pm - [ make a wish ]
sOo tOday i tOok the AP English test....wOo hOo party Over there...then Steph came n picked me up n i went tO take my DRIVING TEST and I PASSED!!!!!!!!! i have my LICENSE!!!! hOw freakin scary is that?? lOl i feel sO Old...nO mOre mOmma in the passenger seat...i'm a big girl nOw haha i can't wait tO gO Out by myself...n get a car man lOl it's gOnna be sO fun.

tOnite was the last FRIENDS ever.....bOo hOo lOl it was a tear-jerker. made me realize hOw fast things i'm graduating frOm high schOol in less than a mOnth...this year really flew by...i dOn't knO why. maybe because it was the best year Of my life?? lOl everything is gOing by sO still seems like the summer was yesterday ((i was just talkin tO ShannOn...i miss that girl!!)) this year really has been the best Of my went by sO fast but really sO much has happened n i wOuldn't change anything. the past fOur years have really been the best....i've learned sO much n really changed a whOle lOt...i dunnO if i changed fOr better or wOrse, but hOpefully better. seriOusly....when ppl say that high schOol is the best time Of yOur life...they're nOt lying. n when they say thOse fOur years are gOnna fly...they aren't making that up either. like maybe my fOur years haven't been the typical "high schOol" experience...but what is that anyway? my experience has been awesOme...i wOuldn't change anything because if i did then i wOuldn't be here lOving it sO much. like yea it had it ups n dOwns...but what dOesn't? sincerely...lOl STAND BY ME!! i was talkin tO Allan yesterday...memOries frOm sOphOmore year...*tear*...n everytime i hang Out with Derek...freshmen year...*tear*...n the Other day i saw absOlute best friend frOm 8th n 9th grade...n i haven't even talked tO her prOb in like 2 years...*tear*...Moss carnival's n BrOoke went tO that every year..that One time when it was a thunder stOrm... sO did me n Danielle with Chris lOl remember the quarters....i saw Joe CannOn drivin his camarO the Other day...i remember when he gOt that thing n we made fun Of it cuz it was multi-cOlOred...n Steve White was at my PrOm...he was my first kiss lOl..*tear*....n Billy GallOway was there tOo...i've knOwn them MapleShade kids fOr a year n a half nOw...that's just tOo scary i can still remember that first ride in Tony's car that nite with 8 ppl in there...n i still have the scar frOm when that kid threw an ashtray at my head...n where wOuld i be withOut my Little FlOwer girls?? i'll never fOrget Danielle sittin next tO me in hOomrOom n us just talkin bOut stupid shit...n she sat in frOnt Of me in religiOn 7th periOd...whO wOulda knOwn 3 years later we'd have religiOn tOgether at 7th periOd again? me n her have gOtten sO clOse Over these fOur years n i lOve her tO death...she's One Of the few ppl whO knOs the real me..*tear*...n NicOle...this girl is my best friend fOrever...we've been thru sOo much stuff tOgether...since 6th grade!! where wOuld i be withOut her? we've been thru sO much shit with Derek, Steve, Joe, Brian G, the park bOys, the druggies, the shaders...but nO matter what grOup Of friends we've went thru it always came Out with me n her still tOgether...n nO matter hOw things may change in the future i knO she'll always be One Of my best friends...n we shared the past tOgether n nO1 can ever change that...we grew up tOgether. i've just made sO many gOod friends here at LF like Holly, Danielle F, Steph, Marie...i cOUld gO On fOrever n say stuff i've dOne with each Of em but i'll be here breaks my heart thinkin i'm gOnna be leaving them in 29 days...n i still remember the first day i came Out with Cait n all them...i'm sO glad i came Out that day lOl cuz where wOuld i be withOut them? prObably dead sOmewhere lOl...i've had way tOO many crazy times wiht them fOr the shOrt time i was with them last year...n this year...i am sO glad me n Cory hOoked up dOwn the shOre lOl cuz if we didn't i wOuldn't have came back...n i've had the best time with them this year...n if i didn't cOme back i wOuldn't have fallen fOr Brian Newman whO is the best thing that's ever happened tO me...if i even try tO get intO talkin abOut him i'll be here fOrever...

i'm gettin teary nOw lOl what a just makes me sO sad thinkin that these have been the best fOur years Of my life...n i lOve where i'm at rite nOw...i lOve every1 arOund me...i feel like i have 29 days left tO live Or sOmething lOl cuz it's all gOnna change in 29 days...June 4 i'm graduating, June 5 is my party, n then the 6 or 7 we're gOin tO the shOre fOr SeniOr Week...n then i'm stayin dOwn fOr the summer till whenever my OrientatiOn is in August...i'm sO scared i'm gOnna gO away tO cOllege n be fOrgOtten abOut lOl because every1 will still be here...i mean i wanna gO tO cOllege n all...i just wish every1 cOuld cOme with me.....but i guess this is what grOwing up means rite? yOu dOn't wanna dO this shit but yOu have tO. n i wanna dO's just that rite nOw i can say that i'm truly happy...n everything's gOnna change sOon n i dOn't want it tO!!! but hey maybe it wOn't change that much...excpet the fact that there will be nO mOre Little Flower ...let's lOok On the bright side n try tO still be happy.

i needa make these 29 days great....
xOxO amaNda

current mood: contemplative
current music: BrAnD NeW- #11
1 kiss| GiMmE a KiSs
Wednesday, May 5th, 2004
11:35 pm - PePsi - CoKe - 7uP
this week has been fun sO far. mOnday i gOt pics back frOm prOm ((sO cute))...last nite me, Cait n Mel..lOng-lOst Mel...went tO see 'MEAN GIRLS'...Mel lOst her ticket lOl sO we snuck her was really in Cait's pOcket thO lOl...the mOvie was funny, *MaN CaNdY* is sO Our new wOrd...Mel cracks me up i missed her sO much. drOve hOme On 95 with my dOor half way Open...that's always gOod.

tOday i went tO Cait's Ring Mass with her mOmma n daddy. it was nice..their rings are sO pretty. then we hit up the dinner...hadda get Our fat asses sOme grub. i def dOn't gO tO St. Hubert's lOl but i came in third in the limbO cOntest n we almOst wOn Pepsi-Coke...lOl i had fun, me n Cait had Our dance gOin tO "YeaH" lOl it lOoked like we made it up...we were just tOo cOol lOl i'm gettin beat up by Hubert's girls....

tOmOrrOw's the AP English exam...boOoO i'm def gOnna get like a 1. OoO well at least i get Out early. weekend's cOming.....

GoOd NiTe <33
xOxO amaNda

current mood: tired
current music: JeSsiCa- TaKE My BrEaTh AwAy
GiMmE a KiSs
Sunday, May 2nd, 2004
5:18 pm - *YoU lOoK wOnDeRfUl tOniTe*
this weekend was sOo awesOme, i had the best time ever. we just gOt back frOm the shOre n i'm sOo tired.

FRIDAY:: PrOm niTe!!! nO schOol cuz of Prom, sO me n Holl went tanning n then i gOt my hair dOne at 2, n then i chilled arOund the hOuse fOrever bOred Outta my mind until Cait, Cass n Colleen came Over, n then my whOle family came Over n Cory gOt here at like 6:45. my bOyfriend was sick :-( sO he cOuldn't cOme see me....i almOst didn't gO cuz i didn't have his apprOval lOl. sOo we all went tO Holly's n gOt like 1oOoo pictures there....n the limO bus picked us up there. the bus was amazing, it was huge. in it was me n Cory, NicOle n Billy, Danielle n LeOnard, Danielle n Dan, Holly n Jim, Megan n Justin, Diana n Tom, Steph n Steve, n Bridget n Drew. we gOt tO Prom at like 8:15, n the place was beautiful. all the teachers were there...even Mr Ritchie n Mr BozzutO came back...that receiving line is always fun. Prom was amazing...i had the best time ever, it was sO fun. every1 lOoked sO beautiful all dressed up. after we gOt pictures n ate n stuff the nite went by sO fast. befOre i knew it it was 12:3o n Over n we were climbing back On the bus...we went dOwn tO the LOVE statue..what's that? lOl....n gOt pics there n then drOve arOund fOr a while n headed back tO Holly's at like 2. me, NicOle, Cory n Bill (Cory n Bill BFF lOl) went n gOt beer tO liven up the after-party cuz sOme1 hadda screw it up...oOo well thO....n the rest Of the nite was sOo fun. Cory n Bill were crackin us up....BANANA GIRL...WHERE'S B AT??...WHAT'S ALL THIS USELESS STUFF FOR?....YOU'RE FUCKING IGNORANT!!! hahaha i never laughed sO hard. Cory stayed up the whOle nite cuz his ass hadda be in wOrk at 5:3o lOl sO his mOm came n gOt him n he went tO wOrk smashed Off his ass...n then we all slept fOr like an hOur.

SATURDAY:: we wOke up at Holl's at like 9:3o n me, NicOle, Steph, Danielle n Steve all went dOwn the shOre after drOppin Bill Off. we went tO the Star Diner n then tO Our apartment n slept fOrever...n then gOt 2 pizzas fOr $26.50....fuckin rip-Off man. then Matt n Danielle came Over, n Andrew n Joe, Chris Celli...NicOle was flagged at 7:oO lOl...that whOle nite was insane, i really dOn't remember a lOt. my family came Over lOl Coll, Michele n Tina n bOught us more alcOhOl....i kept callin Bri....i walked tO the beach by myself...we fell asleep n then Andrew n Joe wOke us up at 3:3o in the mOrning n we walked tO Wawa at 4:3o after my family came back again with fOod frOm Wawa at like 2. we wOund up gOin tO sleep at like 6 when the fuckin sun was cOming up.

SUNDAY:: tOday we hadda check Out Of Our rOom by 12, sO me, NicOle, Danielle, Steph, Steve, Andrew n Joe all went tO Andrew's n played wiffle ball lOl n me, NicOle n Danielle walked dOwn tO the bay...earlier we went tO the bw n the beach...[ i lOved it...the beach is amazing] then we hauled Our asses hOme arOund 3 n i just gOt hOme at 5. i'm sO fuckin tired but i dunno if i shOuld sleep Or nOt cuz i dOn't wanna be up all nite.

i miss yOu bOyfriend....i was thinkin bOut yOu all weekend. we need a rendezvOuz <33

xOxO amaNda

current mood: exhausted
current music: CoHeEd n CaMbRia- BlOoD ReD SumMEr
GiMmE a KiSs
Friday, April 30th, 2004
3:29 pm - !! PrOm ToNiTe !!
sO tOnite's Prom....the nite i've been waiting fOr since i was in 9th grade. i wish i was a lil mOre excited....i prOb wOuld be if asshOle Bridget didn't have tO fuck it all up fOr us...oOo well tOmOrrOw's gOnna kick ass dOwn the shOre...i can't wait fOr that. i just gOt my hair dOne...i like it, it's different but i like it. i'm gOnna start tO get excited sOon...i just gOtta put On my dress n make-up n all n Once everyOne gets here. i can't wait tO ride in the bus, that shOuld be fun. n Prom shOuld be awesOme...Ms Gillespie was talkin tO us abOut it yesterday n i was gettin excited....that damn receiving line lOl it'll be funny.

well i'm gOnna gO start gettin ready n all that shit....shOuld be fun lOl i'll be back sunday
xOxO amaNda

current mood: excited
current music: BraNd New- LatiCia <33
GiMmE a KiSs
Wednesday, April 28th, 2004
11:48 pm - ( i lOve this quOte )
What am i scared of? this pretty much answers it fOr me....

"i'm scared Of eVerything! i'm sCared Of what i saw, i'm sCared Of what i did, Of whO i am...but mOst Of all i'm sCared Of waLking Out Of this rOom n neVer feeLing the rest Of my whOle life the way i feel when i'm with yOu" <33....Baby frOm DIRTY DANCING....

current mood: awake
current music: BoN JoVi- LiViN On a PraYer
GiMmE a KiSs
sOo Blurty's bein gay Once again n nOt wOrking...mOther fucker lOl i hate it.....anyways this weekend was really gOod....hOpefully this weekend will gO by fast.

friday Cait was in WashingtOn....sO me, Cassy, Cory n Jeff hung Out n drOve arOund fOrever....they hung up the pOsters fOr Wiss carnival in the thunder stOrm lOl....then we went tO KFC n the dude was def bustin it behind the cOunter lOl n then we finally saw "The Punisher" after me n Cory snuck intO "Kill Bill- Volume 2" lOl we walked in fOr like the last 2o min n every1 was lOokin at us n we walked rite dOwn tO the frOnt....she kills Bill....sOrry if i ruined the ending lOl..."The Punisher" was really gOod thO....gO see it.

saturday i did nOthing all day....wOund up falling asleep till like 5 cuz i was bOred....then went tO eat Over GmOm's with Mom n Steve n then hadda gO dO the Spring Show Over schOol......--GAY-- lOl it's sOo stupid n nO1 knOs was they're dOin they suck...[retards]....then after that my mOm picked me up n drOpped me Off at Cait's fOr the annual bOyfriend wasn't there {sadface} but me Cait n Cory chilled in the kitched fOrever....lOl it was fun....i have 8 brOken ribs cuz Cor slammed me in a dOor but me n Cait beat his ass -nO wOrries- sOo at like 11:3o (( SuRpRiSe )) my bOy finally came Over {happyface} n i gOt tO be with him fOr like an hOur sO my nite had a happy ending :-)

n tOday was the shOw again [bOo] it sucked sOo bad cuz ppl are fuckin idiOts but nOw that i think abOut it it was actually kinda funny....they messed up Our music twice n then we cOuldn't hear it when they finally gOt it rite....haha oOo well shit happens.

On Other news....I'M GOING TO DESALES!!!!!!!!!!!!! hOw excited am i?? [way tOo excited] it's where i've always wanted tO gO since the beginning....n i'm sOo glad we can make it's gOnna be a lOt Of mOney n a pain in the ass but i think it'll be well wOrth it cuz i wanna gO there sOo's where i'll be happy....sOo it's where i'm gOing :-)
n Prom is Friday......friday omg i remember when it was like 1oO days away.....((sO scary)) times needs tO slOw the fuck dOwn.....i'm excited fOr it thO....hOpefully everything will gO Ok n we'll all have fun....i just can't wait tO lOok all pretty lOl

well i just wrOte a bOok n i'm tired....sOo i'm gOin tO bed
gOod Nite <33
xOxO amaNda
** i'm CRAZY about yOu** lOl

current mood: blank
current music: BraNd NeW- SoCo AmAreTtO LiMe
GiMmE a KiSs
Tuesday, April 20th, 2004
11:08 pm - ~Pull the Trigger n the NightMare Stops~
i hate cOllege. i really dO. if i'm suppOsed tO have a chOice where i wanna gO then why dOes he have the bOttOm chOice? they knO i wanna gO tO DeSales, she even said it. i like Arcadia, but it's just kinda a secOnd chOice....i have a feeling i'll end up there :-( oOo least it's clOser rite? my mOm was talkin tO me abOut it On the way hOme tOday n i really came hOme frOm schOol tOday n just jumped On my bed n laid under my blankets n cried....i'm such a lOser lOl but it really fuckin aggravates me....n it was sO weird cuz after all this shit i turn On the radiO n guess what's on...HERE WITHOUT YOU....lOl that was my clue that everything's gOnna be Ok <33

here's a survey cuz that's what i dO when i have nO life n i'm bOred....aka ALL THE TIME!! i have sOo many Of em

-- Name: AmaNda DeCker
-- Birthdate: July 14, 1986
-- Birthplace: Philly PA
-- Current Location: my cOmputer table in my hOuse in dirty Phily
-- Eye Color: bluE-green
-- Hair Color: brOwn
-- Height: 5' 6''
-- Righty or Lefty: riGhty

-- Your heritage: Irish n German n other stuff
-- Your weakness: *sWeet taLkers*
-- Your fears: COLLEGE!!!!! n life all-tOgether after hiGh schOol, change, lOsing ppl i lOve, lOsing him, nOt bein able tO handle things
-- Your perfect pizza: pepperOni
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: pickin Out what cOllege i wanna gO tO by May 1

-- Your most overused phrase(s): lol....yea....big fat dOrk
-- Your thoughts first waking: bOoOo
-- Your best physical feature: haha i dunnO
-- Your bedtime: like 1 am cuz i have insOmnia
-- Your most missed memory: the summer <33

-- Pepsi or Coke: pepsi
-- McDonald's or Burger King: BK
-- Single or group dates: as lOng as that persOn's there then whO cares....but yOu dO need time alOne
-- Adidas or Nike: adidas .
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: LiptOn
-- Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla
-- Cappuccino or coffee: neither cOffee suCks

-- Smoke: nOoOoO i'm nOt that stupid
-- Cuss: yea
-- Sing: when nO1 can hear
-- Take a shower every day: yes just dOn't wash the hair
-- Do you think you've been in love: i knO i have
-- Want to go to grad school: i hate schOol but i'll prOb have tO gO bc the tOrture never ends
-- Like high school: i like bein there but the shit is gettin Old nOw
-- Want to get married: yes i'm engaged lOl
-- Believe in yourself: yea i guess
-- Get motion sickness: nO knOck on wOod
-- Think you're attractive: hahaha nO
-- Think you're a health freak: nO cuz i'm a fat ass
-- Get along with your parents: when they listen tO me
-- Like thunderstorms: yes they're awesOme esp dOwn the shOre
-- Play an instrument: nOpe

In the past month . . .
-- Drank alcohol: yEp
-- Smoked: nOpe
-- Done a drug: haha yea i tOok perks fOr my teeth lOl sike that dOesn't cOunt
-- Had sex: nOpe hOlla at the V-squad
-- Made out: yesss <33
-- Gone on a date: yes me n Bri had our date at his hOuse lOl
-- Gone to the mall: yeS
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: nOpe i'm nOt that fat
-- Eaten sushi: neVer had it
-- Been on stage: umm nO
-- Been dumped: nOpe
-- Gone skating: nO
-- Made homemade cookies: nOpe i shOUld thO
-- Gone skinny dipping: nO but summer's cOmin up whO wants tO dO it
-- Dyed your hair: nOpe
-- Stolen anything: this survey

Ever . . .
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: yea
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: lOl yea
-- Been caught doing something: just kissing <33
-- Been called a tease: hahahahahaha yea
-- Gotten beaten up: nO lOl almOst this weekend thO
-- Shoplifted: nOpe
-- Changed who you were to fit in: nO but i've becOme like ppl nOt On purpOse thO they just rub Off

-- Age you hope to be married(ish): 2oO8= 22 lOl or 2o10= 24.
-- Numbers and Names of Children: ummm i dunnO but i want antoxicated: lOl yea
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: On the beach....lOl i dOn't care where it is as lOng as he';s St Bart's cuz that's where my fOlks gOt hitched
-- Been caught doing something: just kissing <33
-- Been called a tease: hahahahahaha yea
-- Gotten beaten up: nO lOl almOst this weekend thO
-- Shoplifted: nOpe
-- Changed who you were to fit in: nO but i've becOme like ppl nOt On purpOse thO they just rub Off
-- How do you want to die: painlessly
-- Where you want to go to grad school: hOw abOut where dO i wanna gO tO COLLEGE ?
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: kindergarten teaCher
-- What country would you most like to visit: JamaiCa <33

In a guy/girl . . .

-- Best eye color: i like dark eyes but light can be niCe lOng as they lOok gOod
-- Best hair color: light hair. dark
-- Short or long hair: lOnger....nOt way lOng Or anything lOl...AshtOn biOtch
-- Height: taller than me
-- Best weight: medium
-- Best articles of clothing: hats are sOo hOtt
-- Best first date location: lOl wherever they take me
-- Best first kiss location: dOesn't matter just matters whO it's with <33

-- Number of drugs taken illegally: nOne
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: like 5
-- Number of CDs that I own: tOo many
-- Number of piercings: 5...ears n belly buttOn
-- Number of tattoos: nOne .
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: haha nOt alOt cuz i'm a lOser
-- Number of scars on my body: 2
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: nOthing majOrly

current mood: aggravated
current music: TaKiNg BaCk SuNdaY- CuTe WiThOut ThE E
1 kiss| GiMmE a KiSs
Sunday, April 18th, 2004
10:16 pm - (( iT jUsT sEemS beTtEr whEn yOu're arOund ))
sOo this weekend was awesOme....
Friday was Skate n, NicOle, AnnmariE n FranNy went....we stOod in line fOr almOst 2 hOurs freezin Our asses Off but it was all wOrth it...we saw Andrew WK....weirdO lOl he cOuld play that pianO thO....Coheed n Cambria....they were great but didn't play all that lOng....the Starting Line....Kenny rOcked my wOrld when he did 'Lasting ImpressiOns' --lOve that sOng-- n then Brand New came On at 1O:3o....they're amazing their shOw was sOo gOod i didn't want em tO be Over but they were On fOr an hOur....they sang all the gOod sOngs n Our sOng <33 we gOt lOst cOmin hOme n there was sOme traffic sOo we didn't get hOme till like 2 was sOo fun thO i lOved it

Saturday me, Cait, Cass, Jeff, Cory n Dave went tO Cassy's brOther John's 'gOing-away party' cuz he's gOin tO Alaska On the TitaniC lOl it was really fun even thO i almOst gOt beat up a cOuple times n i didn't get tO see my bOyfriend even thO i tried lOl --sOrry fOr the stalkin!!!-- the whOle nite was crazy thO but it was fun.

n tOday we all just hung Out Over Jeff' was great cuz yOu were there <33

--One day you'll come to me and ask me what's more important: You or my life.--
**I'll say my life and you'll walk away never knowing that you are my life**

i definitely had abOut 8 hOurs Of sleep this whOle weekend...isn't that cOol lOl
GooD niTe <33
xOxO amaNda

current mood: calm
current music: FaLL OuT bOy--#6
1 kiss| GiMmE a KiSs
Thursday, April 15th, 2004
11:29 pm - `*`I caN maKe beLieVe that yOu're heRe tOniTe`*`
....i'm listening tO bOys Of abOut deja vOus man...i miss it sO much <33

well this week is finally Over. nO schOol fOr me n NicOle tOmOrrOw cuz us n Annmarie n Franny are gOin tO Skate n Surf....can't wait!! this week was gOod...kinda went fast....i was happy every day :-)

prOm's in 2 weeks n i'm graduating in 5o days.....SCARY

my eyes hurt :-( when's the last time we went tO bed befOre 1 lOl <33

Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you baby

GooD NiTe
xOxO amaNda

current mood: anxious
current music: DJ SaMmy- BoYs of SuMmer <33
GiMmE a KiSs

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