Below are the 18 most recent journal entries.

	2007.03.28  02.43 WMC Definitely went all out in Miami this year. For my first WMC experience, I can't complain much. Enjoyed spending the week with Ryan, Pete, + all of the other Nashvillians. Next year I will not make as many plans because as everyone knows, they don't happen. I probably went to three things I have been talking about these past couple of months. I will spend more time in 08 actually in the music vs. partying like this year. I had a great time and a week of nonstop music I love has really made me realize what the hell am I waiting for? This last week as put a pep in my step, as trying to describe my feelings with something silly I'd say. I'm young. Hell, I am not even legally of age to be at the conference, lol. You only live once... I got stuff on my list to accomplish. highlights of my trip -Mistress Barbara @ Bed -Booka Shade @ the GP party - jesus christ -Armin van Burren @ Pawn Shop - day party, invite only, about 100ppl there max... watching the sunset while transing out -Zak's party. Originally went to say hi, have a drink, and leave. But 3 bottles later, I was still raving out to breaks hahaha. Mayhem's break set was so amazing. I didn't want to leave after that. -Spoon's set at Mindub's party - so hot -Rene Amesz @ LMR - opened up for Sander K. played one dirty track after another. flawless mixing -Watching Sander do his VDJ - music sucked, especially trying to continue the plurness of Rene before him but was happy to finally see it done right -Steve Bug, enough said <333333 -oh and, raving with Ritchie Hawtin all in all a great trip. I should have known by now my limits and how far I can push them to be able to survive in the hot sun the following day... laying around in the room until it's dark again was not fun but it was worth it. Miami during the conference wasn't what I expected though. I was expecting people EVERYWHERE and it honestly wasn't bad. No lines @ restaurants... no lines anywhere really. I guess there is just so much going on... everyone is spread out. I had so much planned to do and of course, didn't get to even half of it. But had a fucking blast and didn't spend near as much money as I planned - which always rocks Music: Andy Caldwell - Warrior

	2007.02.24  15.29 donald glaude Played at Velvet last night @ the Donald Glaude party. I honestly felt like I was going to yak beforehand, though. I was so nervous. The CDJs were shitty, mixer sucked, monitor sucked... but I made the best out of it and played the best I could. The first 30 minutes were rocky, to say the least but I feel like I nailed it the last 30. All of the good friends were there the whole time... looking like they were having a good time... and that meant the world to me. It was just me and the music during that hour. Nothing else mattered :) Mood: accomplished Music: Trentemoller - Always Something Better

	2007.01.19  07.27 getting close Only 2 months until Miami. I've been working out so hard and started tanning last night. Things are looking gooooooood :) Leon booked me to play a show at Velvet. Shitty timeslot, shitty room but I cannot wait. I actually have time to get myself together and do a good job. LIfe has been SO nice lately. Beau and Hailey split, thank god. The things you find out about people once they break up.... grrrrr. But now I actually get to see Hailey <3 Plus, I spend all of my time with Ryan, which rocks. I'm absolutely crazy about him. He treats me how I'm supposed to be treated... it's a first lol - 2007 is going to be good. Hailey and I are also booking our vacation 21st birthday plans to Las Vegas in the next 2 weeks. A big LOL @ that... but yes, Brinti and Sara are also planning on going. We'll see if that actually works out. I hope so. Regardless, it's going to be wild and I cannot wait! Mood: chipper Music: Rockers Hi-Fi - Push Push [M.A.N.D.Y.]

	2006.12.05  02.56 this... is not.... Miami.... EXCEPT THAT IT IS! Just ordered my airfare for WMC. I cannot believe I'm going. After Ibiza, I swore to myself I was done 'partying.' lol @ that. Spending a week in Miami with Ryan and Pete will be entertaining, to say the least. Love them both long time. Can't wait to start seeing some of the line-ups. And I'm actually getting in shape for this trip... unlike the other 2394823 trips I've bailed out on getting in shape for. Life is pretty nice right now - Christmas in 3 weeks, job is still going good, enjoying the winter with friends, and Ryan pretty much rocks Mood: HYPHY Music: Ellen Allien

	2006.11.07  00.48 man okay job is great friends are great friends at job are great :) less than 2 months until Christmas weather rocks making money, paying off bills, making music biggest worry on my mind is - where do I wanna go next? Mood: calm Music: some hiphop track that is lol

	2006.09.19  22.09 job innit Finally got the job at Gaylord. I feel like a 100lb weight has been lifted off my shoulders.... bring on the money :) PLEASE :) Mood: accomplished Music: fagass - drinking for 11

	2006.09.13  18.47 low profile tires SUCK Buying these tires a couple years ago was not a good idea in the least. Another one popped today and I threw more money down the drain to replace it. Next time I go to Maryville I am replacing these with the original tires and wheels that came on the car. As I waited for two hours while they fixed my car, I put all of my Europe pictures that I printed into this huge photograph book. It took about the whole two hours because I wanted them to pretty much be in order. I got the weirdest feeling sitting there in the lobby. I knew I was happy while in Ibiza but I guess once I got back home I kinda pushed all of those memories to the back of my head. I guess trying to get back into a normal routine. But looking at all of those pictures again brought back so many warm and fuzzy, lol, feelings of happiness. Never thought I'd say this but I wanna go back. Mood: bouncy Music: Way Out West - Ministry of Sound Session - 04-03-2005

	2006.08.23  23.04 Gotta start somewhere I played out for my first time tonight @ Justin's weekly, DATD. I honestly thought no one would show up considering I played at 9pm but everyone that I wanted to be there, was. I did okay but had a BLAST.. and that's all that really matters to me right now. I was on a natural high the rest of the night... great feeling. Can't wait to play again Mood: determined Music: Alexander Kowalski - Hot Spot (Girls Outside The Window)

	2006.08.14  21.01 back from Ibiza Fucking amazing It still really hasn't set in yet... Definitely 2 weeks I'll never forget Mood: satisfied Music: David Guetta - Walking Away

	2006.07.06  04.13 it is what it is I've been so blah/sad lately about moving. Shit sucks. I'm going to make the best of it while I'm still in town. I know once it's all said and done and I'm back in Nashville I'll be in a much better mood but oh god, I'm so emo as of now. dlrktjsemheujv4564tyujft6y767 Mood: sad Music: Chromeo - Needy Girl

	2006.06.25  03.23 end of house hunting Paul and I finally signed the lease to a house. It's right by the airport and is such a good deal. I'm not the biggest fan of it but who cares... not like I'll be spending that much time there anyways. I've got most of my stuff already packed, the uhaul rented, and the first month's rent/deposit already taken care of. I'll be on my way in two less than weeks. I'm excited but blah. I checked my new schedule as I was walking out of work tonight and was like "what the hell... why didn't they give me atleast my normal shifts?" then realized I was already going to be moved during the work week I was looking at. It really made me sad but I have got to get out of here. I can't believe I'm leaving my job... I love it. The people I work for, my co workers, the money, my schedule... it's just not going to be the same. I feel like I'm walking away from something I could really grow into, but it will always be here if I come back. why am I sad, I'm getting exactly what I wanted Mood: blah Music: Justice - Never Be Alone

	2006.06.19  03.35 DC fun times, fun times I was planning on seeing family but the trip was too short to fit that into the weekend. Zak played great, the club was nice, and I had a great time [for all that I can remember.. which isn't much] Oh well though, what can ya do? After waking up hung over as HELL.. we had to drive Zak to Baltimore so he could fly back to Nashville. We barely got him there on time. Then Pete and I went to shop.. well, Pete went shopping and I slept in the car for a couple of hours. I don't think I've ever felt so sick after a night of partying.. jesus christ. Thank god that finally passed and we went shopping again, ate, checked out some tourist shit with Ryan and Amy... then came back to his brothers and crashed. The ride home pretty much sucked... then we ended up in Asheville, NC. Fuck some faulty detour signs... but all in all, a great weekend. I didn't spend any money cept on food and gas so I'm pleased :) lol

	2006.06.01  02.11 working hard for the money I can't remember the last day I was off of work but I have over 1/2 of my Ibiza spending money already saved and have also started putting back money for the move to Nashville. It's kinda funny how things work out. I know I want to move to Nashville.. there isn't a doubt in my mind about that. The only thing that would hold me back would be my job. I love everything about it and I work with the most amazing people. I have got to get out of this town though... too much shit simmering around that I'm trying to forget about and living here isn't helping a damn thing. I guess my main concern at the moment would be trying to decide if I'm going to take classes during the fall semester. I'm afraid after the trip, the move, and finding a new job.. all a week before school starts, it'll suck trying to go to school too. I feel so worthless not being in school though. Who knows? I change my mind about things every 3 days now it seems. I'm not in any rush to finish school... too many things I want to see/do. I'm getting more and more in shape as the days pass... it feels great. Ah, also looking forward to being off work next weekend. Pete and I are going to DC to shop, chill, and go see Zak play one night. It'll be a nice break from all of the hard work lately. Thank god he's scooping me up on the way to DC, lol... I'm not in the driving 8 hours mood. 63 days :) Mood: sleepy Music: Booka Shade @ Mayday(Germany)-04-30-2006

	2006.05.18  02.36 helpless One would think if something was causing your life to end sooner.. they would stop doing it. It has been tearing me up inside for awhile now but I can't pretend like I'm clueless anymore. Confrontation sure didn't help tonight... just caused more lies and more pain. I said what I've been wanting to say but don't feel any better about the situation. How can you expect others to care for you when you don't give a shit about yourself? Mood: worried Music: Cary Brothers - Blue Eyes

	2006.05.11  13.17 the unknown The unknowns in life are what makes my life exciting, instead of just 'living.' Which is kind of odd when I think more about it because I don't like not knowing stuff. I know what I'm doing tomorrow.. and I have 3 days from now pretty much planned out. I'm not always like that but lately I've had a lot of things on my agenda.. then throw work into the picture = I have to plan ahead to get shit done. One 'unknown' in my life is getting so fucking frustrating. A special someone is the LAST thing I want/need in my life right now but why would I accept his invitation with no further thought? I am so done with looking into the crowd and only seeing him. I know I don't need him, pretty sure I'll never have him, and positive about him not wanting me but why? I am so over asking 'what if?' I swear I have been asking 'what if' for forever now. I am horrible about wanting things I cannot have then once I get them, I toss them to the side like a dirty sock. But in this situation, I know it would be different. Sometimes it's better to keep it a mystery... Music: gabriel + dresden vs depeche mode-here is the house

	2006.05.07  21.57 never-ending nightlife My inner gay man tells me that evenings are not well spent if I'm not covered in glitter, with my left eardrum bursting, and clothes reaking of vodka and Red Bull. We live our extraordinary lives in an afterhours world. Why cannot people understand this? Contrary to popular belief, the majority of the afterhour partiers are post-college graduates between the ages of 20-35 and typically corporate professionals making a very handsome living. Their attraction to the club scene and house music is an interesting phenomenon that I can only explain from my own personal experience. People amaze me. ps. I leave for Ibiza in 87 days and I wish I could express how fucking excited I am. Mood: thankful Music: Gabriel + Dresden / Essential Mix 5.07.06

	2006.05.04  16.29 snip snip snip yay I'm finally twenty! My birthday pretty much blew. no excitement. no surprises.. well other than my mom sending flowers to work <3 because I had to work all day/night. Thank god I'm not going to be living in Maryville on my 21st next year. I'm looking forward to my oral surgery tomorrow... more like in 3 hours. BLAH! I honestly should have taken care of this 4 years ago but I've been putting it off and putting it off. But what's new? Now my whole face hurts and shit is rotting out :( not really, well kinda. Atleast I'm still on some good insurance so I can do this before I move to Nashville. I still don't know what my living situations are going to be but I am over worrying about it. Whatever is going to happen.. is going to happen. And to be quite honest, I'd rather live on someone's couch than to spend another year stuck in lonely hell. Why worry? It will only get better from here. I wasn't suppose to eat after midnight, but I did. Justin says I'm going to shit all over myself when they put me to sleep. I guess we'll see... Mood: nervous Music: Deep Dish - Everybody's Wearing My Head

	2006.04.26  23.57 money makes the world go round I am so fucking sick of worrying about money. The remainder of my court costs+fines will be paid by the end of the week, finally. Note to self - stop doing dumb shit. Soon I can begin to save for Ibiza and the move to Nashville. Probably should have started a long time ago but better late than never, eh? Mood: rushed Music: M.A.N.D.Y. @ YouFM Dance Night