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Shadow Valley

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Subject: (optional, for use on longer entries) [12 Aug 2003|12:49am]
[ mood | geeky ]
[ music | trance! ]

school. six days. I'm. A. Freshman.


-deep breathe-

.....

-faints-

tell me

[10 Aug 2003|03:12am]
[ mood | geeky ]

no clue why i'm updating this.. :D WOOO!! YAY FOR NO REASON IN UPDATING!!!!!! -spazzes-

-runs off to look at her score at FTJ-

RATE ME http://www.facethejury.com/profile.asp?user_name=_shiva

tell me

[09 Aug 2003|10:09pm]
[ mood | sick ]
[ music | buzz a buzz... BUUZZZZ ]

being sick sucks

i saw nathan today

nothin

_izzy

tell me

dunno.. [05 Aug 2003|03:41am]
[ mood | curious ]

anthony.. christian girl.. hehe..

talked with kia for a while. colin called me.. colin.. called me.. my god. it was nice to talk to him. i know.. i know i said all that shit about colin but hell.. he wants me to go to the movies with him and sage on Weds. ^^ it'll be fun. i get to make sage un-shy. XDD Colin told me he loves me.. I.. i didn't know what to say so I said "Ok.. you know i have a boyfriend right" "i know.." I asked him how and why he loves me.. he said he'll explain it in the mall on Weds.. -sigh- =/

i got my LJ.. :D

cow and chicken ish teh funny..

paulina got offline.. :(

_izzy

tell me

its a crazy world of ours [04 Aug 2003|02:24am]
[ mood | ditzy ]
[ music | MM - spade ]

lesse. school is the 18th. i miss it. i have no life. i hope to develope one. or steal someones.. or borrow it.. or .. something. i dunno, im just bored, my wrist hurts, i never update here so why not! i'm so obsessed wtih Selphie and Shiva now. -goes on a graphic whore mode- XD

now i'm off to look at journals

_iz

tell me

craZY [07 Jul 2003|11:56pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

wee.. bored. updating this. heres my words of knowledge.

Fights suck.

Thanks.

Alecia, you update so much ^^

i love you with all my heart Kia!!


-izzy

2 secrets // tell me

promising dreams of unrealistic things [22 Jun 2003|05:26pm]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | KVUE News. ]

I met this guy named Colin a couple of days ago online, he seems so perfect.. so right for me, we get along soo well. He intriegs me a lot.. He used to go to CPMS with Rafaella.., now CPHS.. All these things he says to me, all the things I've longed to hear.. It seems like a dream come true.. It doesn't seem real though, we both asked each other "are you sure you aren't lying to me, you seem so good not to be true.." Lord. I want to talk to him, I have to wait til 9 when he can get calls though.. and he's grounded from the computer- again. I think i'll put some of our convo on here.. ) There's more but.. I don't want to put it on here.. I want to see him, yet I don't.. It creates a certain, mysterious atmosphere to all of this, I love mysterious.. I love not knowing what is about to happen.. It creates a uncertain.. antici... -pation. I think I'm.. falling in love.. I've only been in love.. twice. Both times it screwed me over.. Each time I put my heart into it.. and not my mind.. this time I'm trying to use my mind, but.. it's not certain.. my heart says go for it.. But. I'm not sure. comment and help please.

-<33 Isidra

1 secret // tell me

-faint- [14 Jun 2003|02:35am]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | Stained - Fade ]

Paulia told me that Kia wasn't mad at me.. I still feel like an ass though.. )

I'm so relieved.. I'm weird. Lol... I guess I didn't want to lose a friend. :P -shakes head- I've changed..


"so i speak to you in riddles.. cause my words get in my way.."

..this just came to me. Today was the first day I didn’t think about Anthony till I read his name in my old entries.. And he didn’t call me one time today! Wow..I'm very surprised..

10 days being single.. wow.. it feels so much longer.. I don’t regret breaking up with him. I haven't cried once about him. I wish I had found this song, I could've just told him to listen to it, then he would've gotten how I felt. Lord. Usually I don't like Michelle Branch.. but.. hm. I like her now. lol.

I guess I'm going to sit here and ramble.. Or not..


-Izzy

tell me

[14 Jun 2003|01:42am]
[ mood | dorky ]

Well. I woke up utterly tired, and I fell onto my playstation. Ouch.. Just.. Ouch.. Well I got online for a while and yea. Matt came over! He showed me LUE and all its wonder. It was odd. He posted this topic asking if anyone had a spare account for lil old Izzy. :D I dunno. =/ Erin came over. It began to storm so badly!! It was awesome!! We played DDR. Damn. That boy is good. We tried to get Erin to play but she didn't :P. I tried on the controller and I was ok.. then I tried on the mat, and mind you it's been forever since i've played, and i sucked royally!. Lol. I had fun though. Then Erin had to go. She lent me her camera, so me and Matt took some pics.. And yea. Then he had to go. Lalala.. I still took more pics.. lalaalala. Before Matt left he showed me this one channel G4. It's weird. -makes note to watch it more often- But yea. I chilled around. Then I came to the living room and watched Buffy with mom. Lol. Buffy rules. Erm.. Then I got online and yea. She came over and got the camera from me so she can upload them, we talked for a while then yea. They got all JPGy distorted. Blah JPG. I moved my site back to geocities. nu3.net is good for hosting if you want to host icons/blinkies/pics. Yea. I downloaded some music.. And uploaded my CD music to my shared folder. woo!! Chatted..

Kia got mad at me and left the chat.. I felt really bad so I IMed him and tried to appologize.. then I felt worse.. I had truely pissed him off.. So.. I got off of AIM and MSN. Damn me. Damn me for having some fun. Damn me for kidding around. Just. Well.. Acck. I don't know.. I lost inspiration for my story.. I was going to like work on it, then I realize I need Paulina's help with some parts.. But.. blah.. I'm afraid if I get back on AIM to talk with her.. he'll like bitch at me. Blah.. Fuck me. I suck for kidding around.. I can't help it! It's who I am damnit. Just. AHHH!!! -falls down- I hate it when people can't see that people are kidding around.. I'm such a fucking hypocriate... I don't care. Blah! Stupid me. -falls down and dies- I know some people would love to see that. :P



-some loser

tell me

"I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel" Man i love this CD [10 Jun 2003|09:43pm]
[ mood | peaceful ]
[ music | NIN CD Erin burnt me ]

hm. Yea. woo. no one's online. it feels so quiet.. I like it. I'm remembering like everything.. which is weird cause I haven't remembered anything that occured before I was 8. Now. it's like sweeping back to me. I guess it happened when I was cleaning the yard.. -sigh- damn this house. too much memories.

I'm making a list of my plans for during and after HS. Yea. I'm paranoid about it. Mom's gonna teach me how to drive.. bleeh.. I gotta learn standard. -shudders- But whatever. I'll rule at it. :D I'm also going to plan out Collage, which ones are good. And close, cause I plan to live with mom until I get enough money for a place to stay. Hm.. mom said she's gonna drive me to my job and whatnot when I turn 16. :D Tightass! I guess, I'll save that money and spend it on a car, then the rest for video games. XD I need to start playing again, I haven't been in the mood for them. Plus the ones I have i've beaten countless times.. I have like zero dollars for games and the such. Blah. Off to reasearch!

-Izzy

tell me

[09 Jun 2003|06:18pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

They droped everything which is somewhat good. I just wish they would make up their mind. It fucks with me cause I don't know what's going on. Nick called me. At first I was all who the fucking hell? We talked for like 3 hours.. Just about random things.. He told me he likes me.. but he has a girlfriend. We talked about her for a while. He said he's afraid things won't work out with her.. I said what if they dont, and he said "Then I guess.. I'll try and go out with you." -sigh- I don't know. I chilled around, watched buffy with mom + john. A glass fell, I cleaned it up cause I don't have a life. Tried to convence mom to move the comp into my room, cause I only use it. -sigh- Gave up.. Now I'm working on my graphics.. Hm. I don't know.

I got a 132 on an IQ test. :D

-miss izzy

1 secret // tell me

So.. It came to that. [09 Jun 2003|01:21pm]
[ mood | scared ]
[ music | t.a.t.u - how soon is now ]

Whoa. Last night... Was so fucked up. I hate living here. I hate living with them. Why don’t they just take a gun to each other’s head and do what’s best for me. It’s cause of them I’m fucked up. It’s cause of them I have my fucked up views. It’s.. Cause of them I stopped caring if people love me or not. Here’s what happened. I was online talking with Keller and my mom stumbles outta here room, I think she was drunk. And she starts yelling at me for being online. I told her that it’s a school night and it’s 3 in the morning. She told me when school got out that it would be ok. I asked her why she went back on what she said, she looked around and said “I’ve been having these pains in my chest and when I would need to call 911, you’d be on the fucking internet” She slapped me. I was stunned. She hid this from me. At the same time I was angry at her. We always told each other what was going on. No matter what it was. The second it happened we told. That’s how it’s always been. She got up and left. I went to her room, sat down and talked with her. She slapped me again. I can only get online from 3-4 and from 7-10 now.. (I’m just getting online to update journals and check mail real fast...) Then we heard the dog crying. We ran to the living room. My grandfather was beating the dog with a poll of some sort. Mom started to yell at him, “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING!?” And began to pull the poll from him. He pulled back. “I was trying to get him of the fucking god-damned couch”, and jabbed Benji *the dog* once more in the ribs. Maybe that’s the god-damned reason Benji was limping. We yelled at him to cut it the fuck out. I got the poll away from him and jabbed it in his fucking side. He shot me a glare. He said “If I saw the dog on the couch one more time I’m going to fucking slice him up” Mom looked at him and said “Well if you’re going to slice him; I’m going to fucking kill you” “not before I slice him” I kept screaming stop. And that it was just a dog. JOHN’S DOG. They both said go to fucking bed and stay out of this. I slowly walked to my room crying. How could one thing go so terribly horrid. I began to cry in the empty corner of my room. I yelled “WHY THE FUCK WONT SOMEONE DIE AROUND HERE”. I meant it too. I wouldn’t care if it was grandfather or me at this point. As long as someone dies. I’m happy. Mom even told me that she wants me and him dead. I said “why don’t you just kill us then?”. “Then I would get arrested deary..” It was creepy.. I hope she was kidding.. I heard a clash in the living room.. I began to walk out there.. I stopped in the hallway though.. I sat down and listened to the fight. “If you don’t like it here then why don’t you move.” “Fine then. I will.” That puzzled me.. I whispered we’re moving..?” I began to lay down and cry more. I mean I love this house. Despite the violence. I have so many memories here.. I laid down and heard screaming.. I stayed the same. Just tears rolling down occasionally. “what’s going to happen now..” That’s all that was in my mind. Mom stormed down the hall. “GET UP”. I got up and began to walk, “GO TO BED. Everyone JUST GO TO BED!” She shoved me into my room. I put on my music, and cried.. So fucking much. I was leaning in my closet, my mom walked in. She told me to come see her. Her shirt was bloody.. I ran in there and shut the door. “get be a wet little towel..” I did, I was wondering what the fuck had happened to her. If he laid a hand on her.. He’s going to get it. I don’t care if I got in trouble. He deserves to die. After all the pain he caused everyone. “It.. just won’t stop” It was just a nosebleed. Thank God. I told her it was just a nose bleed and began to clean her face.. She said she doesn’t care. we’re moving. She’s telling John today. She’s going to look for a new apartment. Maybe somewhere in Brushy Creek. I don’t know. I want to move. So badly. I want to start again. New friends. New life. New everything. I don’t know. I just want to forget. Forget everything that happened. It would be nice.. =] She also said that what really bothered her was when she was trying to tell my grandfather what she’s been feeling lately, the pains near the heart, he wouldn’t even listen. We cried. I went to get the poll and put it in my room, he began to open his door. I shut mine. I began to sleep, mom came into my room and said that it will get better.. I slept.. I just now woke up.. I feel alright. This house is painful. I want out. Yet I don’t. -sigh- God save us..

-Izzy

I'm so fucking scared. Why does this always happen?

tell me

bleh. bored.. [07 Jun 2003|10:22pm]
[ mood | drained ]

sometimes i feel like no one likes me.. I feel as though I'm drifting from my friends. :P All well. I'll cope. Lol.

-izzy

2 secrets // tell me

[05 Jun 2003|12:48pm]
[ mood | flirty ]
[ music | no doubt- running ]

ok.. lemme update since the 30th til now..

30th )

31st )


1st )

2nd )

3rd )

4th )

So yea. You guys are caught up. I'm gonna clean out my friends list..

-izzy

tell me

do let.. this seperate us [29 May 2003|07:35pm]
[ mood | energetic ]

Today. Was. Awesome. Yet tearful. I wanted to cry myself.. I woke up.. mom was late.. she drove me to school. I roamed around.. talked to people.. Jordan hugged me ^__^ Talked with Matt.. went inside.. Luiz kept pushing me. Meanie!! :P We all got searched and went to Advisory. There I was craming for my final next period, Luiz wouldn't leave me alone! So I tossed a chair at him, then Matt threw a binder at his head. It was funny. I gave up on studing and just talked with my guys. I took pictures of Mark. He was being silly. They started to play chess and i screwed them up ^___^ Wooops. =] 1st period final.. wow.. We were turning in our books today, when we handed them to Mrs. Kahn she started to cry. I thought she was just messing aorund.. but when she hugged me.. you could tell it was real. She said she loved us the best.. not for our acadimic scoring.. cause those were poor as dirt.. but for the fact that we were so unique. Awwies.. She then showed us this little skull on a book with a frog on it's head.. it was a little statue..she said if you find it around a certain campus before a test it will give you good luck. I want to go and get one. lol.. she let some off us touch it.. =] We began the test.. 200 questions.. halfa point each. I finished. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. We got our break.. I went to go pay for the book I lost.. I was late.. lol. She handed us ice cream and M+Ms.. yummah.. I finished.. but I didn't want to be the first one to turn it in. Second bell rang.. me and Mike were the only ones to finish.. we talked about it for a while then headed to Advisory. I messed around with the chess pieces.. we got some snackes =] =], Evan showed us the card tricks he knows.. it was the usual. I walked around the school getting teachers to sign my book. =] Aweies.. Mrs. Davis is leaving this year.. - huggles Mrs. Davis.. she was my World Cultures teacher =] I walked to my USH class.. the final was just writing a paper about what you want your future relatives to have traites of you.. and why. and how that will impact people or something. i finished with ease. Lol. We all just chilled around. I flirted with Justin and he did back, it was funny. Lunch bell.. I wanted to cry during lunch. Everyone was so.. wow.. I'll miss them.. not really.. actually.. yea i will.. =[ I went to sit with Anthony.. >_>; Lala.. Laruen took pics of me.. I looked cute.. Went back to 4th.. watched a video.. went to 8th period final Art. We all just sat around. I was bored as fuck. She handed back papers.. I talked with people.. I hugged all my lil 7th grade buddies.. LAALLA... Made fun of Will.. wrote on Luke's binder that Will is a fag.. Lol. Will wrote on it "Luke Loves Izzy" Me and Luke looked at each other and winked. Lol. Then Will wanted me outta his seat, but I said "HEY THERE BUDDY! I'm flirting here.. " Lmfao. I went back to my seat.. then he showed me his hole in his pants.. right by his dick. God damn I want him. Lmfao. We went to the fight.. people got me good.. I like wiped myself clean like 3,478,344 times.. I went to watch the boxing fights.. Aleman got hit in the nose by Whitney and started to bleed. Lol.. It was funny.. her first hit.. he was bleedin. Lots of other people were fighting too.. Afterwards i was kissing so many guys that I would miss.. Nolan, Joel, .. Dude.. when I kissed Carl, I was meaning to get his cheek, but he litrally moved my face so that we would kiss on the lips.. God. I love that boy!! - falls down - Here's his pic!! ) I walked home still thinking about carl.. hmmm.. I saw this wreak along the way home.. A red car was slammed into a fence which was now broken. Hm. Police and EMS were out there.. I continued home. Still thinking about that kiss.. lmfao.. I dunno.. I got home. Mommy was all laughing at me.. I took a nice shower.. got all that cream off of me.. before hand.. It look like someone jizzed all over me.. roflmfao.. i'm serious! it looked like that on Rafai + Skye when I saw them too!! XD I got to the living room.. mommy was talking to my about my schedual next year.. la la la.. I gots chips! :D

-Izzy

tell me

fuck you because i loved you..fuck you for loving it too.. [27 May 2003|04:52pm]
[ mood | flirty ]

Wow. People were comming up to me today talking about my quiz. I feel speshul. =] hee. I woke up late. Gave Mr. Thorn my work. Went to advisory. Drunk a coke. Went to 2nd period PE, we went to the pool. I didn't have my stuff.. so I didn't swim. We made fun of Sasha. It was funny. We talked about.. catholic school, military school, rough girls there, Lopez, lmfao.. we made fun of Sasha by yelling to Luiz that Rameriz still wants him. it was fun. They tried that to me.. I was a sarcastic bitch "Oh yes baby.. you too darh-ling" Went to LA, had the final. T'was easy. I just chilled around writting notes between Charlie and Paige. Watched some of TKAM, talked with Perry and yea.. 4th period we were suposed to have the year book signingness. We didn't get our books. they're in Dallas right now.=/ should be here tomorrow or day after. Damnit. We watched a slide show about our 3 years there.. Rafaella.. your 6 grade picture with Andrea was on there. Awwies.. Luiz wouldn't accept that it was you. Lol. He gave me gum! YAY! I feel loved. Lots of pics of me were on the walls.. we all had pics taken of us threw out the years.. most of them were taken and burned. Lol. I took all of mine and tared them up. Lunch. I chilled around. Science.. reviewed. Sat by myself. i didn't feel like talking.. made both of my baskets. Went to the math final and took it. I spaced out for 10 minutes.. then I signed Amanda's shirt and Liz's lil wanna be year book.. I walked home.. I banged on the door to get inside. =/ I found my keys! this morning I couldn't find them at all.. =/ Mommy bought me a 12 pack of my Sprite Tropical Remix soda!! XD


I don't need a reason to hate you the way I do

tell me

weeee [25 May 2003|06:29pm]
[ mood | energetic ]

Yea. I woke up around noon and dragged my ass to the comp. Sad huh? I stayed online for a while. Spammed UltimaDude's board I was under the account "yummi_candi" lmfao. that was funny. Then I chilled in my british friend's chat room and spoke Al Bhed.. Went to Erin's. Chilled. Her brother played a little gay with us. I went back home.. and I'm a moderator once again for FFS. This time it is "general chat" Ohh.. Lordy. =] But yea. Erin's gonna spend the nite.. wee..

-miss izzy-

2 secrets // tell me

[25 May 2003|03:50am]
[ mood | drained ]

here's the quiz i've made!

izzy.jpg
You're Selphie! AKA Izzy. AKA the person who made
this quiz! You're super-duper-hyper, always
having something to say. Brutally honest, even
at times when you should keep your mouth shut,
but beneathe it all.. your really good =]


Which FFS member are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

tell me

coookkeeee [23 May 2003|04:44pm]
[ mood | nostalgic ]

Ugh. I woke up late this morning. Got to school on time though. Mom and me didn't talk at all this morning. I slammed the car door and didn't even say bye. This morning I was soo.. pissed. UGH! X_X
[ x ] Advisory: Finished my USH and chilled on the black top, sipping my coke. Watching everyone play Basket ball. Luiz tickeled me alot. We went back inside and I was bending over to get my binder while he slapped my ass. I couldn't stop laughing. The teacher saw and laughed also. I chased him down and grabbed his hard. Hey just smiled. Lol.
[ x ] Spanish: we began our final. I didn't get an index card like i was suposed to cuz I be a poor mexican. Lol so I finally got one, but I couldn't get all the voc. on there. I got half way done with the essay.
[ x ] PE: we turned in our locks. I slept. Luiz, Scott, and Stefan tickeled the fuck outta me. Scott tickles fucking hard =| Oh yea. We took a Test too. I got a perfect score. =]
[ x ] LA: I saw Rafai in the office. =[ I tried to talk to her.. But I settled for gestures.. I made a handcuff gesture.. and she nodded solumly.. =[ I wanted to run in there and hug her.. I couldn't stop worrying about her.. =[ =[ =[ But. I was almost late to LA, I listened to Harper read the last of To Kill a Mockingbird. I luff that book. For the final I think we are watching the movie. Charlie was the one that was telling me what all happened.. We suspect that Charlie Schuab ratted on her..
[ x ] USH: Updated my journal. Lol. Screwed around..
[ x ] Lunch, Luiz hit on me. Lol. Grabbed my ass.. AGAIN
[ x ] Science: we had a little magik show. =] She caught bubbles on fire.. made a styrofome cup melt with some acid, uhh.. made a balloon pop but it screwed up.. and I yelled POP POP POP!! THen we did this static thing.. I kept standing up there and felt the shock. It was tight. I wanna do it again!!
[ x ] Math: sat there . Took a test to determine where i will be placed in Math next year.
[ x ] Art: chilled and did some book work.
[ x ] I walked straight home with Stefan. He was like chasing after squirelles.. I talked with my neighbor lady too.. Then I got online.. and yea..
[ x ] Yesterdays little spanish lunchon was odd. I got outta Thorn's class early, went to get food, it was kinda sucky, went to lunch and ate more, came back to the luncheon, got some chips. ate. gave the rest to kate. Lol.. I sat in Mrs. Kahn's room infront of Joel, next to Will.. =/

Yea. I need to do my history.. mom doesn't seem mad at me like she was yesterday..

-Izzy

tell me

rape me my friend. [21 May 2003|10:38pm]
[ mood | horny ]
[ music | Porno movie ]

Kia called me. - runs around - God. I love and missed talking to him. ( hey sexy ;) ) He might come down to Austin.. or make me go to Mayraj's and stay with him for a while.. Then we can see each other and glomp and never let go.. and and.. yea. Lol. Hyper. When he first called I couldn't really talk that much, for one I was surprised that he did call, and 2 the EMS was outside. Erin's lil bro fell down and everyone came out there. It was odd. Patrick was standing outside alone so I ran towards him and asked him what happened. He told me that DJ had fallen and that was that. Then talked with erin for a few and came back inside to talk with Kia. - runs around - His phone kept dying.. I kept tellin him that I wants him. Lol. it was funny.. Then it dyed for the final time and I got my ass online. God. I luff porm [ ;) ]

God. KIA I WANNA GET FUCKED BY YOOO!!!

..

or you Ray! ;) - points to bedroom -




holla.

_izzy_

1 secret // tell me

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