[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 4 most recent journal entries recorded in
|Tuesday, July 29th, 2003|
what I wish I could say....
All I want to say to her is "dont you feel the least bit bad that you left your so called best friend in the pool by her self, dont you feel bad that you left her out in the rain, and you said that you wouldnt ever do it again....but oh wait you just did." I want to cry like no other. I am so hurt so...so...so theres no words to decride it. I try to be the best friend that I can be and look what happened, I get forgotten about I get left out in the rain I am left swimming all by my self at 1:30 am and what do I ever do to her...NOTHING!!!
And may I say that I am so f-ing glad to have this journal, its the only place where I can really express my true feeling with out editing them so someone doesnt get mad at me. Im out...Peace
Current Mood: hurt
Current Music: tv in the background
|Monday, July 28th, 2003|
Well lets see here, I've had a pretty good past few days. I have been with heather and becky except for today. We went cruzin gratoit and it was fun then I spent the night over heathers house. Heather and I were talking to gerett (sp) till like 3. It was awesome. Then today my mom and brother and sister left for up north and they wont be back till wed. or thru. AWESOME!! Then I went out with heather and we pulled into her drive way and my dad calles and asked if we wanted to go boating....and we were off in the boat. It was awesome the waves and then we went to gull island and made moutians in the sand. It was soo much fun, but I dont know I miss hanging with her but at the same time I dont want to cause I dont want nick to get mad. So now I dont know what to do. I WAS leaning toward going to nick but now Im at the same place I was before stuck in the middle. AHHHHHHH I talked tonick for the first time in a fews days. Nothing was really said so it wasnt very interesting. tear tear haha. thats all. Im out...Peace
Current Mood: full
Current Music: Rap CD
|Friday, July 25th, 2003|
On the way home from going shopping with sarah I relized some things. One being that I dont have to put who I want to stay friends with. If they cant understand the fact that I want to be friends with both of them then Im better off with out them. If they are real friends they would take in that fact that Im friends with the other one and not throw a fucking cow about it. Why do I have to pick between my friends because of some stupid fight that is going on with them. And why do I have to take the hit for it. Why do they get to be happy and go on with life while I am sitting here stressed out of my mind and I dont know what to do any more. I mean come on I know that I love Heather in all and that she is like my older sister, but how much can you take from one person. I mean yeah I know that she's friends with becky and Im going to have to understand that but Becky keeps going back and hurting her and I cant stnd it. Becky talks behind my back and heather needs to learn to keep her mouth shut and becky needs to learn that one life isnt great and that she needs to be happy with what she has cause things could get and be alot worse. Oh and one other thing about Heather she needs to stop sticking out for Becky when she messes up. Like with the whole my going over nicks house and telling heather and after I tell her "dont tell anyone" what does she do... she goes and tells becky, becky tells nick and I get fucking yelled at AGAIN. Im so sick of this whole thing. Yeah so thats my thoughts for now Im out....Peace
Current Mood: angry
First entry...and more to come...
Ok well hello to whom ever reads this...which will must likey only be me cause Im not going to give out the name site or what ever. So this way I can express my feeling with out having to worry about people yelling at me or geting mad at me. So here I go. We shall start out with yesterday and into today. Yesterday I had practice then after practice Iwas supposed to go to Elainas (sp) house for a bonfire, but come to find out Nick A. is having a party also. So I went to Nicks. Yeah yeah I know that Im not a very good friend but what am I goint to do about it? So I get home and keep in mind that I didnt tell my mom that I was going to Nicks. And she goes "is there anything that you want to tell me?" and I go what are you talking about. Yeah well come to find out she went to pick me up from Elainas house and I wasnt there. Yeah so I kinda lied my way out of that one by saying that I was there but only like 2 minutes becuase Katie and Elania dont like each other and "Bug" doesnt know her. So yeah thats how I got out of it. But now that its all done with I feel really bad and I know that I should of gone to Elania's.
But that's enough of that... on to another subject. This morning. I was waken up by the good ol' mom with the sound of her vocie saying "come on lets go the boys are ready to leave." I deffently went to the air show today and there was no questioning the fact that it was at least 90 f-ing dregee out there. But is was still fun. I liked being out there with the family...we accually got along for once haha. The air planes were awesome with the smoke and the stunts in all. It was a good show all togther.
Now Im at home and watching my little sister as she sleeps, yeah this is the best job ever. But I guess thats all for now. I dont think that Im doing anything today. Im not hanging out with Heather, Nick said that I shouldn't. But see the funny part to that is that Heather told me not to hang out with Nick. So what they are both telling me is that I have to pick...do I want to stay friends with the girl that Im so close to she's like my sister or the guy that Im closest to because he is seriously the big brother that I never had. Well aside for the fact that we made out, but since we are not really brother and sister its all good. haha Im out.....Peace!
Current Mood: indifferent
Current Music: none, but I can hear the skimmer in the pool making noises