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R0CKINJEN

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[04 Jan 2004|10:22pm]
so i spent a while posting in MD's livejournal....... i sould just start writing in my livejournal. see you over there..


www.livejournal.com/users/r0ckinjen

sweet.
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wah wah wah wah - wuh (peanut's style) [04 Jan 2004|12:53am]
[ music | headache. want an oreo ]

so i guess i haven't updated in a while, or at least it seems that way. lets review.

NEW YEARS EVE: i don't remember what i did during the day, probably just bummed around or went shopping, or fiddled with my beads.. but then kates calls me and we make plans! so the plan was to go to benihana, then to ameera's for awhile then to katie knise's or bears to watch a sex and the city (season 5) marathon while pulling an all nighter and then go to breakfast @ zac's. well katie knise and bear weren't into doing benihana so we got last minute dinner reservations @ alfoccinos (al piccino?). anyway, kates picked me up at 6 and we wnet hunting around to rent Sex & the City. then we just ended up going to target and buying it with a few goodies. the eve went welll, dinnner was great, then we went to meijer to buy (something...) oh hats. then on to ameeras'. ok, so this girlie has the funnest basement... equipped with kareoke tv's, stage and a dj 'hut' anyway it was relaly fun. then we went to katies to do a countdown and a S&C marathon. funnesss. bear starte falling asleep and i kept waking her up. then we went onto zac's which was closed and ended up at dennys'. anyway this was impossibly long on just one night. so afterdnenn's katie took me home where i slpet.

NEW YEARS DAY: i slept till 12. then shuffled around started reading bridget jones's diary then fell back asleep till around 5 when katie called and woke me up. we went to borders & target where you can reference her shoping description at her xanga site. and yes she is just as psychotic as she says.. or doesn't say. i came home reveled in my 6 pairs of new underwear, bra, chocolate, and pens. and then slept.

FRIDAY: oh boy! funness ensues. i woke up (early) and went to hands on museum w/ marie d and geoff. thankfully no weirdness as being the 'third wheel'. acutally it felt pretty even. think tricycle. wo it was fun. humanites log right there WHILE having a good tiem WHILE learning WHILE making friends! marie = good driver and thus no flat tires! wooooo. we dropped geoff off and then wnt to leo's coney island and got omlets. woo hoo for omlets. i came home... then waht'd i do? oh gee, uh drawing a blank. i think i went somewhere.. WHY DOES IT SEEM SO FAR AWAY? i either went to laurel park or slept, or b&n.. pick one. then i came home and watched pirates of the carabeaner.

SATURDAY: oh yay! that's today! so i woke up. bummed around. did laundry. cleaned my room. wrote out my senior pictuers. showered. went to study for humanties with katie. bead store. talked to heather (FINALLY). made simi's necklace. malpedes to babysit. takled to laura (shortly). watched a bit of chocolat (which is undeniablly close to the book). made ameera's (part) ring. and i'm home again typing away.

funny thing. i wanted to go outlet shopping becasue i hear that gap outlets have the gap lipgloss that i love so much. so mother dearest and i are going to the birch run outlets tomorrow. this is how i talked her into it. i called her and asked how long it took to get there, hinting htat i was going to go by myself.. she said 'oh no, you can't go alone. wait till you have a friend, or wait tilli can go with you' and i said.. well that's not till next week becasue we'd have to go on a weekend. i choose not to wiat that long. and then i suggestted tomorrow. and she said and SKIP CHURCH? pause. well yeah. pause. and this closed the deal, i said.. mom, it's not like you don't want to anyway. yess!! and we're going shopping tomorrow. i love my mom. i love spending time with her.

time for bed!

with lovee

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life of a klutz [30 Dec 2003|11:55pm]
i'm two for two. so i was in the kitchen making a little snackeroo. and i accidentally knocked into the coffeemaker. and the filter came falling to the floor... :splat:... grounds and all. so imagine jen standing in the kitchen surrounded by coffee grounds. i silently prayed that my dad wouldn't come downstairs to make fun of me. then i wondered: would my dog eat this?? so i swept it up, and for some reason i put the grounds down the drain (hide the evidence?) and as i grabbed the spray nozzle i hit the trigger and a fountain of water showered me with it's magically cold water. so yeah, i felt even COOLER with my hair wet and coffee grounds STILL plastered to the sides of the sink. wooo.. college here i come.

must reflect: chatting with marie d was nice. it was a change of pace to acutally verbalize whats going on in my little head. fun times, i always appreciate a good talk with a friend. i imagine you are reading this right now... smile! hi marie d. that is all for now i think i will go watch pirates of the carabeaner while my hair dries.

hah
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[30 Dec 2003|01:08pm]
written last night:

and i thought the worst part of my day was using a quarter tank of gas going to the soup kitchen, or being given the WRONG soup kitchen to go to, or going NORTH on 75 when i should have been going SOUTH, or listeing to cherie and rhonda talk about nothing, or almost passing marie d's house, or not having fun plans to do with her... but no. of course NOT. my life seems to be horribly tragic. today. i. got. a. flat. tire. and THEN i shut my finger in the trunk (middle left). but i suppose there are other aspects of positivity - the flat tire may have been the burning hut to create smoke to be saved by the passing ship. in other words, it could have possibly prevented me from getting into some fatal acident on newburgh and 8mile, or there was some crazy hold up heist at the video store where i was going to avoid the dreaded late fee in the frist place. i just don't know. but i feel awful. my finger hurts, but, i guess i'm grateful that i can look at thisi objectivley and at least see both sides before mourning my (seemingly) poor, sad, tragic life. whicn in all reality i live a good life.

but putting all flat tires aside i have a very enjoyable day - one that i wish every day would model istsef after. this morning i woke up at 7 to be at matt tomes's house at 7:45 to pick him up for our volutneer soup ktichen deal. then jessie wanted to come (for NHS credit.. booo) and we drove ... it was a fun drive. we arrived - and apparently they did not need/want us and sent us to another soup kitchen. we arrived by the grace of matt's abiltity to lisen to directions. from there we did soup kitchen-esque things till 11 when i had to leave (to be home at 12:30). obviously it doesn't take 1.5 hours to get home, but we made a taco bell pit stop, in true matt tomes/ jen davis best bud fashion. there, matt and i carred on with this incredibly huge, elaborate, lie. it came to the point where the line we crossed was so far gone it was merely a speck of dust on the radar. we finished and drove hom when matt wrote jessie's cell number in the fog on my window. it said (backwards of course) call me i'm a hottie ###-#### . i wonder if anyone called. once we got to jessies house to drop her off, matt wrote a few things.. which i care not to write here... but i was able to turn it into a picture of a moon and the word "MOONS" beneath it. it was quite funny, maybe funny only if you were there. i dropped matt off.

afterwards, raced home changed quick as lightning and mom and i drove into the outskirts of ann arbor to go to the Lord Fox to have lunch with old friends. tiffanie and i grew up together, we were in the same 1st grade class,a nd my mom and her mother were best firneds in high school and reunited when we became freinds. tear tear. anyway, they are HUGE meat lovers and so we went to the lord fox becasue i guess it has good beef wellington, which is something i've never heard of and will not try. it had pate (did i spell it right?) which to be blunt is goose liver. not my cup of tea. i acutaly got tea (cherry vanilla) and something with eggplant. it would hve been better had there not been so much cheese. and i'm not that big of a fan of casseroles either. i'mmore of a stirfry/grill person. but i guess it was fine. anyway then i had dessert which i shared with my mom - creme brule. it was ok. i ended up eating the fruit garneshes off the top. i was very full. we arrived at 1 for lunch and we did not leave the restaurant until 4. YES, THREE HOURS WITH THEM. sheez. i have nothing to talk about iwth theses people. i see them once a year. i have no idea where they are int heir lives, we don't share lots of common intresets. so i just sat there. do not be decieved... we left at 4, but they ended up talking until 4:30 under the canopy in front of the place. my mom was just as ostracized as i was, we were first to leave.

FINALLY home. it was about 5. i messed around on the computer. then took a nap. i picked marie d up at 7 and we went to the coffee bean in plymouth. it was a good time. we both got tea :o) and we sat down with our incredibly full, hot HOT cups of tea on a wobbly table near a door with many pedestrians. when someone would pass, we'd pick our cups up in fear of them being spilled. i don't know about marie but the cup was so hot that i was grateful that those girls just stood there.. hahah. anyway, we chatteded it up until there were so many pedestrians that we had to leave. from there we went to barnes and noble where we walked around looking at about every section of the store - twice. well, except for the recipe books. those just made me feel bloated. we decided to take the conversation elsewhere and maybe get dessert! starbucks! one would think go stay at the starbucks in b&n... nope, two smart girls went to starbucks on haggerty. we thought. maybe steve is working... maybe we'll get free stuff!! haha anyway. then it was nearing 10:30/11 and i realized i had to return some vids. so i we went home and got them... started driving down 8 mile. when BAM. damn. yep. flattyroo. we psent a good portion of the night alone, in the (well litted) street. chatted it up. tow truck came .... (we called at 11) at about 12:45/1-ish. woopwoop.... yeah, mr. william was very nice. i may even go to call the place he works at and give him a compliment.

well i got home. my dad was awake. i just stared at him until he said 'what did you do?' and i told him. he laughed. i cried. i slept. and now.. being about 2 o'clock the next day.. after going to the repair shop to discover that not only did i pop my tire, but i need a new wheel... i am ging to go power clean my room, sulk with some oreos and take a nappy.

:sigh:
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oh the things in my head [28 Dec 2003|09:36pm]
i am home :sigh: it's good to be home. even though i only left for a couple of days.. it's nice. i spent time with the OTHER side (dad's side) of the family. naturally they are MORE fun, i mean wayy mre fun, simply because they are younger and i have people reletively my ages. i spent most of my time with michael or reading, or badgering my uncle gary. i love my cousin michael - we grew up together. have i mentioned this before? yeah, he understands we're a lot more alike than say.. lauren michelle and myself. he's a die hard lover of god. which is some good stuff, makes for good conversation. it's super awesome because not only is he strong in his faith, he's STUDYIED it so he's not just blowing hot air. always makes for a good time when you put numerous opinionated people in one house and stir. so we had a studied catholic (and by studied... he knows his junk), his not so studied but strong catholic father, my uncle gary.. he's a studied.. (something), i odn't know... we're not going to get into this. but i listened to some very good debates. props to mikey for totally holding his own.

i've gotta say, i'm a little disapointed in the way my younger cousins have turned out. 2 of 3 are very.. umm.. sassy to say the least. one, my dad's goddaughter (we are not catholic, they just dubbed us godparents), sassed my mother to no end. from what i hear, she's going to turn out quite the brat. that makes me so sad. like mother like daughter. well, i guess i have my relatives to show me how NOT to parent. if i never want kids like thiers, i can't ever parent like them. i'm learning by negative reinforcement. i suppose i'm going to have to be very proactive. hands on sort of parent - but not the ones like carol frisk who call rainbows teachers and harass. (yes, i've been on the recieving end of her badgering. not a fan) i'm going to say that my kids are NOT going to watch a lot of T.V especially violent material, they are going to have a wonderful jungle gym in the backyard for them to use their imaginations and exercise (many children lack both), and they will have been taught to write thier name, memorize their address, the ABC's, and various other things by the time they are 3 1/2 or 4. if not that, i will expect a lot of my children, as if you do not, and set low expectations, they will find it the norm and forever live just under the radar. i will never lie to my child. i will not lie by omission. even the santa clause deal is up in the air. did you know that my mother enver told me he was real? it was always some fantasy, never the truth. my mother said the reason why was because she enver wanted to lie. and that is a good thing. as obvious as this gets... and i hope you (or whoever reads this) will contemplate this: i will never say my child is BAD. never tell a child that they are bad. never ever ever do that. it's damaging. as quick as we are to say "BAD DOG" or something of that nature, we can just as quickly say that to our children. yes, so never say "you're a bad boy." if not for the sake of your child.... for me.

i have a soup kitchen thing tomorrow. we have to drive there ourselves, and i'm sure glad matt tomes said he'd go with me! so i'm picking him up at 7:45 (ouch) we'll arrive around 8:30 and then boogie till 11 come ohme and have an optional taco bell break (as a matt tomes tribute). best budness here we come.

someone is sneezing upstairs. i wonder who it is. alias wasn't on tongith. sadness.

i have been thinking and i need to write down all the books that i have read. i'm debating whether to write down ALL of the books or just those of my highschool career. it would be handy and then i hope to jog my memory of those i would like to read again. so far this year as in my 12th year of school i have read the following:

poisionwood bible - b. kingsolver
the center of everything -
parts of huck finn - m. twain
parts of zen and the art .... - (but i don't think i got beyond the 2 chapter)
the russian debutante's handbook - g. shveltlsivw
nickel and dimed - b. erhenrich (sp)
1984 - g. orwell
the princess diaries vol III - m. cabot
the nanny diaries -
in her shoes - j. weiner
the alchemist - p. coehlo
harry potter vol V - j.k. rowling
chocolat - j. harris
the perks of being a wallflower - s. chbosky

to read as they are in my posession from christmas : mere christianity, the best american nonrequired reading 2003, bridget jones' diary
to buy and read: the great gatsby, the entire book list as cited on a previous journal entry, the entire harry potter series (save vol V) in hardback, (hmm it always seems that there are so many when i go to b&n.. but i cant think) OHOHOHOHOHOHO i NEEED the anne geddes photogrpahy book - her new one.
to RE-read: classics such as: to kill a mockingbird, the catcher in the rye, a separate peace,

TO BE CONTINUED
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leavin on a jet plane.... or car. leavin in a carr [27 Dec 2003|07:06am]
here i sit. the ONLY one ready at the designated time to leave. at 7 A M i am running on about 4 hours of (borrowed) time. last night i had family over for a small christmas party where my parents got me another alarm clock afterwards, katie and brigitte and i went to starbucks for a chatteroo (whcih acutally didn't go as smoothly as planned....) then went to lola's to watch a flick with ashley and her cousins (?) random. i should do a recap of my week.... but, of course i am short (hahah) of time and energy.

i am excited to go to michael's house. it's always that once a year (possibly twice) reuinon with my cousin that keeps our 'friendship' alive. i really value him. we've been buddies since.. the beginning of time. before i could walk. anyway i think it's about time to go..

with love
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[27 Dec 2003|01:53am]
sometimes i'm really dumb. and i don't know what i'm doing. and ..... right.

i need a

for

to

because

.... thanks
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[27 Dec 2003|01:41am]
whooops. i think i lost it. yep. there goes myself. (reference "not myself" by jmayer.. except i'm not singing to any particular 'you')

sheesh.
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anchors away my boy... [27 Dec 2003|01:16am]
i'm leaving in t-minus 6 hours. i have yet to pack OR sleep. definitely lacking sleep becasue of yesterday's toss and turn night. was it something i said? was it something that i didn't say? was it something that i said and the meaning behind it that really wasn't said at all?? or was it because i had soda too late in the day? well, either way(s) i'm tired. but i feel that i need to do something before i go.

with love
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see quote at bottom [24 Dec 2003|12:33pm]
for the sake of clarification: "tb & cc together, talk about pee my pants"

means, Tom Borda & Chris Cronin ..... hahah TB = childhood crush .. :cough:obsession:cough: from freshman year, and mr. cronin... need i say more?

:o)

yay for christmas eve.

i have to go and buy drumsticks for mike. where do i find drumsticks? sheesh

live.

Are those the clouds of my mind that hide the stars?
Will I ever find the road that leads me home again?
Does it seem so far
From looking way to hard
Now I know my heart is where my searching all begins
Marc Broussard
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oh where is my hairbrush? [22 Dec 2003|10:13pm]
today, humdrum day. woke up at 9 to my mother cooking bacon (i hate bacon and thus the stench made me close my door) and pannycakes. good feeling, to wake up to breakfast with the fam. i continued my day with cleaning in preparation of my relatives arriving christmas day eve. as i cleaned, i listened to some my back burner music favorites, such as howie day (the good howie day, solo howie day, good howie day WITHOUT his stupid band), senor dave matthews who never, ever, ceases to amaze me with each spin of his album, sarah mclachlan, maroon 5 and topped it off with a very nice 'ignorance is strength' mix a la j.boyd whom i never speak to. the room is clean aside from a pile of college letters and my beads where i have no where to place with enough convience that i can just keep it there (you see, i bead at random times in the day, and if i put it away, it would be MORE of a problme to retrieve it from it's designated spot than to just keep it on the floor, out in the open.). call from katie, we're going to benihana. i showered. left for benihana rendevous with her and layno. much to their surprise, i had never been to benihana (otherthancarryout.. once) and i ordered the lunch boat. oh, get this. it comes IN A BOAT. who would have guessed. layno, katie and i deduced that they (as in benihana) must have found them on sale and thus, bought them in bulk at an astronomically low price. anywho, after i ate my boat (hehehe) we all felt tired, and mosey-ed on home where i cleaned the desk then took a nap from 3 - 7. when i woke up i thought it was morning - the disoriented feeling was not pleasureable. anyway frm there i finished harry potter 5 and then went to return some movies, where i somehow rented the entire 4th season of sex and the city (?? i know, how random) then went to barnes and noble, where i normally go to sulk. there, i spent about 2 hours randomly wandering about the store, looking in places where i don't normally look - such as 'self help' and 'psychology'. i glanced at books entitled 'dementia and YOU' and 'bipolar disorder and the world that creates it', i also found 'prozac nation' which i hear is pretty good. somehow i managed to pick it up and walk around with it for awhile, but i decided to put it down after i felt uneasy after picking it up after looking at a another book aabout addictions. i bought a christmas gift for the malpedes and chocolat, reading for indy, i would still like to buy 'the perks of being a wallflower.' here i am. now. home. i have four videos that i can keep till next monday, a book that needs to be wrapped and delivered, a book to be read, and an apple that is yearned to be eaten. fulfilled life i must say.... (dripping with sarcasm)

despite my extremely lively and exciting day, please note the four hour nap, i spent the day with a somber mood and sulked. who knows why.. not that i felt extremly shibby, but well, i just don't know. i felt like being an introvert. it makes me feel better. it's odd, becasue whenever i'm alone, i want to be with someone and just talk. but when i'm with people all i want to do is retreat to my room and be alone. i think, i just want today to be over tomorrow to come and be totally different. i heard this quote once (paraphrased) ... ' those who see life as boring are those who miss the magic of each new day ' something like that. someone get me some stinking antidepressants. or drugs. yes drugs would do the trick. kate.. where are you? lets get drunk.

haha

oh my

with love
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Serenade me [21 Dec 2003|10:59pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]

can you BELIEVE it??!! only :mumbles: 1..2.. 3 days till CHRISTmas! what a partay. yay. its a good feeling.

about feelings.. haha. its funny. es cool. no worries. we're peachy keen over this side of the.. river? forest? jungle? beach? grass? and the green grass grows all around all around and the green grass grows all around. :sigh: no, but its fun. its not good to be jealous. because of course, jeaLOUSY is LOUSY! haha got it? good. anyway, i could have gone to les mis w/biz, but the cash flow (is somewhat abundant) is not flowing thatta way.

yay for my friend katie!! she is the funniest:
GoDeSs82986: sushi at 1?
GoDeSs82986: and just so you know-
GoDeSs82986: it's open until 4
GoDeSs82986: that gives you three hours to vent
GoDeSs82986: and i'm ALL EARS
GoDeSs82986: well not really
GoDeSs82986: i have legs and arms
GoDeSs82986: and a head
GoDeSs82986: and a nose
GoDeSs82986: and 2 eyes made out of coal
GoDeSs82986: no wait, i'm not a snowman

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[18 Dec 2003|11:49pm]
i find it humorous that you have no idea what i'm talking about. i think i'd rather keep it that way. i don't think you'd get it anyway - it's frivolous and silly. i feel dramatic. yet its so silly because i KNOW drama, and i've had awful tins happen to me, so i have soemthing to compare this silly little thing to. but, to me, it's not silly. it's how i feel; that is important. its my fault, really.

i'm done. g'night

merry christmas soon.
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play that jazz [18 Dec 2003|11:46pm]
so i thought i could put my feelings into words, instead they come out in a more physical form.

get me a tissue
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cool title [17 Dec 2003|11:09pm]
i like marie d, because she posts comments in my journal instead of silently stalking me. that is assuming people actually read this.

anywho. i should cut and past some of my other journal thingy in here tomake it more interesting. but i do think it would prove how much of a spaz i really am.

i was thinking about jaime the other day. no bad thoughts. i hope she is well. kara returns friday/saturday (for good) wht a party. maybe i'll have friends now. in truth, i don't have friends at all at church. i think we have all been making a collective effort to NOT see eachother. thats what it seems like.

it saddens me, the important things are not so important anymore. i guess i'm just tying to find my place, my place at church and with god. i have been a church adhearent and participant for 17 years of my life, one of these days i was destined to sit back and evaluate it. the more and more i look back, the more i see errors on my part, my dependance and most of all, my weaknesses; however, i have grown from the knowledge that i've made many mistakes and so, hopefully i will not make them again. this is why jen is going through an 'evaluation' of church... this has and always will be on my mind (at least until i find some answers). maybe what i really want is for someone to convince me that church will ultimately make me better. for those of you who read this and say 'of course church will make you better... silly girl' well, we will talk and i will share my p.o.v, we'll collaborate. sharing your thoughts is not only welcomed but encouraged.

with love
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jealousy is LOUSY [16 Dec 2003|06:09pm]
fitting...

Back to you
It always comes around
Back to you
I tried to forget you
I tried to stay away
But it's too late

Over you
I'm never over
Over you
Something about you
It's just the way you move
The way you move me

I'm so good at forgetting
And I quit ever game I play
But forgive me, love
I can't turn and walk away

Back to you
It always comes around
Back to you
I walk with your shadow
I'm sleeping in my bed
With your silhouette

should have smiled in that picture
If it's the last that I'll see of you
It's the least that you
Could not do

Leave the light on
I'll never give up on you
Leave the light on
For me too

i feel like such a spaz. an over dramatic spaz.
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"baby, you*re amazing....." [05 Dec 2003|05:05pm]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | josh kelley ]

for some unknown reason, i am in this ungodly mood. its just terrible. i feel like screaming, crying, and sleeping all at the same time. so i just opt to sit here and type it all out..... ok. i*mdone. i dont feel like expanding on my awfulness.

i got a hair cut. school scraped by today.

:sigh:

i*m going to borders (or b&n) right now to go and look a the photography books.

with love

4 comments|post comment

veritas [04 Dec 2003|04:15pm]
many things to do, or is it, many things i WANT to do. TO DO:
shower
bead - for bear, lola and baters. (ashley, lauren, and katie)
knit (cause i*m cool like that)
homework (math, individual reading x2)
soon, i have to pikc up kt heats (cath) and we*re going to go to FCA even though i*m not an althlete. lets just call me a chaser of 4year olds.

well, i should get going... i have to pick her up @ 6:45

with love
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knitting = NOT jen dave's new hobby [02 Dec 2003|10:24pm]
need a shower.

need sleep, even though i definatly went to bed around 8:00 last night. i slept a while; however, i did take a short intermisson to take out my contacts and also took a call from miss. melanie then resumed.

i have been getting quite crafty!! many a rings have been made, as well as about 2.5 inches for my scarf!! it*s gonna rock and it matches my new coat.... yayy. anyway.. i*m going to go.. get sleep maybe shower and ya know.. knit. hahah

with love
jen dave
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aequitas [30 Nov 2003|11:40pm]
i think i like to type with my eyes closed, its weird. you don*t even have to think about it. i just say the words in my head and they just come out. its insane. because you have to find just the right pace. if you think about the words too much, then you*ll type funny. but when you spell out the words in your head then you get lost and then you think" youfroget some letdrs. and then you ty to o bac, and cahtc up, it sjust doesn8t work. so, thus one must find the right pace to type.

BOONDOCK SAINTS great movie kids. go watch it. lots of Fbomb. but it was heckagood. i should listen to laura more often. heathe rand i watched it together. laura loved 'igby goes down' one of my tops.
And shepherds we shall be, for thee my lord for thee. Power hath decended forth from thy hand so our feet may swiftly carry out thy command. And we shall flow a river forth to thee and teeming with souls shall it ever be. In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti.

GOOD LORD LOOK WHAT TIME IT IS.

but this needs to be written down before i forget it. it*s important, listen up. i feel a strange redemption. i feel like i can be friends with jaime again. from going to wanting to hurt her, i feel for her. maybe it's because kara told me that she really IS diagnosed with something. and that in itself is a huge step.. going to a psychologist. i am trusting kara on this, that the information is correct. but its wrong to hold something against someone for something that they can't control. (f that made sense) AND i watched a veggie tales movie on forgiveness today.. 70*7. dang, i have to forgive someone 490 times.. sheeze louise. ok, anyway. i just had to add that. time for bed
with love
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