Psychotic Siren's Journal
20 most recent posts

Date:Monday-21st-July-2003 14:58
Mood: moody
Music:chris moyles on radio1

not bin updating again, ah well. bin in sligo most of last week at ed's other house in a little town by the beach. (sligo is a place in the south of Ireland should anyone be wondering)
Its very nice there although belive it or not I didnt get a very good look at the beach while I was there! But I think I may b there again this week so I want to go to the beach again properly. I love going in da ocean and collecting shells hehe! I made a necklace out of a little one I found, it already had a hole right through which was quite kewl.
Apart from that Ive been at work (which makes me very bitter and grumpy when Im there but anyway) and I bought meself lots of nice jewellery from the new shop in town again! yes I am broke...

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Date:Sunday-13th-July-2003 19:50
Subject:Websites everywhere!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mood: accomplished

Have barely slept since last update and am in very very very grumpy mood. Grr. However I have instead been very creative and have made TWO NEW WEBSITES!!!!!!1 And even if I say so myself they very boot-i-ful! I definately think these are my best layouts yet and I am very proud of them :D The first is just my persona/ collective site revamped (again) this time with a layout featuring Christina Aguileura, umm not sure why but they were kewl pix! It is now called Psychotic Siren again instead of Sleeping sirens becuase im feeling a little bit ker-azy these days.

Psychotic Siren

The second is a fanlisting (offiicial) for >>>> TRANSYLVANIAN CONCUBINE<<<<<<< my all time favourite song! If you like it then please join too because naturally as I have only just put it online there are no members yet. So go Visit and so JOIN. Thank-you VERY MUCH!

Visit it here: Eternity and a Day<

The layout eatures Winona Ryder and isnt quite as sharp as the first site (lack of sleep) but I am very very happy with the main picture. I even made the rose look kinda glowing and its my first successfull attempt at a dark and moody layout! yay!
well I soooooooo very tired now so gonna go to bed I think. Apparently Mission:Impossible is on tonite and I like the original alot so will watch it (yawn!)

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Date:Sunday-13th-July-2003 01:20
Mood: blah

I know she follows me at night. Hunting me. Sometimes I can almost feel her hot breath on my neck, smell her sweat as she charges after me. In my dreams I try to fight back, I’ll kill her if I get the chance. But always she is the hunter and I am the prey. There’s nothing I can do.
I hear her laughter, her taunting. Her mind is a cruel place where blood flows and thoughts are tangled. Her hands are tightening around my neck.
How long now she has been a part of me I don’t know. It seems like eternity and a day. The peacefulness before is like a distant echo. One well forgotten she feels. She knows I’m weak.
It is the daytime when she is the worst though. I had hoped she would sleep then but instead she flows through my veins like poison. Her face is gone from my mind and her voice is silent then, she simply pulses through me like a thunderous murdering wave of desire. Her cravings burst inside me like a flowers bloom.
And I worship her, my goddess, though I wish not to. Though I hate her. I see the blood when it oozes over my hands, when it showers from my victims and I cry salty tears over the corpses. But I swear I didn’t want to, she made me. The devil made me do it.


Randomness. I dont really write so much as let my mind babble. Hmm..

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Date:Sunday-13th-July-2003 01:00
Subject:nothin much
Mood: grumpy so scundered! (Hehe Im culshy!) Feeling sick as a dog all day and spent most of it in bed which unfortunately means Im unable to sleep now :( Anyway im also missing Ed alot because he's away again and Im a big baby who cant cope when she's sick so I want him! lol neway apparently I cant talk to him either becuase he's in a room full of "men" and they're trying to "sleep" Pah! Ahem excuse the bittereness, my stomach hurts! Well anyway apart from that I have rekindled my interest in web design and the ol internet so keep eyes out for new layouts etc. Im tryin to find a nice picture to make with but sadly it aint working out too well cause the internet not working properly.

So wot else have I bin up to? Went fishing that other day with my brothers and caught one fish, but as it was more than they caught they wouldnt let me use the rod again, AT ALL. dorks just because they're crap at it.
Then I was a bbq with friends and stayed the night and was partially tipsy for a while. Fun. Finally got to see Ed again and the next day he's gone again. :'( Im on my holidays from work at the moment and they suck cause Ive got nowt to do! Well actually I guess I do, im just fed up rite now. Spend all day with edwina and Jenny yesterday we did lunch and then went and played on the swings hehe. Lotsa fun. lol actually i suppose I have to admit im not really in that bad a mood, I just hope I feel a bit better in da morning!

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Date:Wednesday-9th-July-2003 13:06
Subject:nowt much
Mood: content
Music:queens of the stone age

briefly talked to an ex-friend last nite and foud the experiance well...dull. she's still as much a prat as she always was but luckily I dont care nemore! I mean obviously I couldnt help being rude becuase I like being rude and I dont like her but still, its nice to think how happy I am now and she's just a little speck far away. Hehe jodie was bit of a duh though telling me to be nice, did she just sleep through the last year or wot? Neway I think im going to a bbq tonite so im looking foward to that but dunno wots happening yet. Was in town this morning and now Im going away fishing with my brothers for the afternoon. Overall I a happy bunny with a new expensive necklace and top :) the only thing bad in my life i can think of is dat my mother wont let me buy more guinea pigs grr.

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Date:Tuesday-8th-July-2003 07:51
Subject:still alive
Mood: awake

so Ive bin thinking about deleting this blurty thing cause Im not sure I want it up anymore but Ive decided to give it another while yet and see how I feel! I haven't updated in couple of weeks but I have been busy, in fact I havent used the computer much at all. My web designing is non-existant and I still have to write back to Laura (sorry if you're reading this!)

So anyway, just as a quick update Ive been basically spending every day I can with my boyfriend and its one month on friday. To be honest when I imagine being with someone long term I cant see how it works but when you're actually doihng it, the time just flies and you're happy! He's coming back home today and I really cant wait to see him, four days happens to be a very long time ya no! Hehe I think thats why im up so early now cause I no he's getting up now too in dublin. Ive actually bought my first ever attempt at buying a boy a presant while he was gone but we'll have to wait and see how that turns out, i could have got it totally wrong!

Anyway apart from that Ive been reading loads, finished the order of the pheonix in a day and burst into tears when sirius died, I think im getting quite emotionsl these days but why does everyone keep dying in stuff I like! Ive also rediscovered the town library so more books means happy me!

And I aslo finally got to see Eminem live and it was fantastic!!!!!!! hehe I think we were standing in the same spot for eight hours but it was sooooo worth it, we had excellant positions and u could see everyone on stage clearly. lol he is definately as hot as he looks, plus the etmosphere when he came out was amazing. Everyone had got very cold and crushed and had to wait for hours but once he appeared nobody cared.

so not much else to talk about, except that Ive actually got a bit of a tan, first in about a decade. Went away on one of these notorious sailing trips an dey had a nice little beach. I even got in a boat for I think five minutes or so lol.

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Date:Tuesday-17th-June-2003 22:09
Mood: happy
Music:Darling Violetta

Not updatin as much as I used 2! Bin really busy just being at work n with ed (hehe). Get paid on friday and cant wait!!! Gonna blow it all naturally on shoes n jewellery but sure thats what its for!

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Date:Friday-13th-June-2003 00:51
Subject:life update
Mood:ecstatic but depressed (buffy)

have bin quite busy & not updating much but I think it fair to say my life has changed for once. Im afraid im gonna have to start with the most current and work my way up; Buffy has ENDED FOREVER and Im not ashamed to say I cried my way through the entire episode, I know what was coming (how could those rat bastards kill spike ) but it was a v.good episode tho it went soooooo fast it was unbelievable. Now its all over and I HAVE to get the rest of the seasons on dvd! neway thats a touchy subject, im still quite weepy. (lol)
also ive finished all my exams and school and Ive got my place in uni already so yay :)
But biggest of all I have a ..dare i say it! boyfriend. lol tis quite fun to write it cuz ive not even wanted to mention him at all for fear of jinxing it or some other foolish nonsense. But anyways yes it true, moi the eternal loner has found some1 i that I, every part of:) and that why for once ive bin busy! hehe im getting giggly. Hey edwina we should have a club for giggling! You can be in charge though cuz ur best at it :P
ah well that was wierd I know this is supposed to be a diary and all but I dont usually write important stuff in it cuz people read it (yes I know that the point! shh)

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Date:Tuesday-10th-June-2003 10:07
Mood: groggy

Hello there, haveny updated in a while! Not bin up to much neway, had english on monday and didnt do any revision at all till the nite before before but luckily not giving a crap! Bin sleeping in da sitting room cause of redocorating my room but ive finally finished painting so will move back in tonite now that it is breathable air! Taped American Psycho on sat and have bin itching to watch but I keepi not having a chance to! Was all ready to stay up late and watch it last nite and I fecking fell asleep! grr. ah well. I bet when i actually get around to watching it, ill have accidently taped two hours of some other nonsense like I usually do! Neway that was my last exam so im totally free now, hasnt sunk in yet but it is great! and im not even at work today! neway im go off now and put furniture etc back into my room!

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Date:Sunday-8th-June-2003 01:25
Subject:home sweet home (or not)
Mood: giddy
Music:cher (in my head only)

hello to all, jus home from a nite out wit ed :D makes me happy! Enjoyed the walking around in the rain in castle archdale on wed too. btw old school is a funny film but it gets a bit silly near the end.

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Date:Thursday-5th-June-2003 22:13
Mood: accomplished

Hello all Ive had a very fun repainting my room today and am currently hiding out at the computer because if i breathe rin any more paint fumes i willl DIE! Its a nice creamy beigey colour which I know actually sounds really grannyish but its to go with my new deep red quilt & curtains, theyre very nice n deep n intense colour with gold writing n stuff. Very so-fis-ta-cated! lol And Ive got black furniture so :P it actually very kewl! And I had never realised how grubby a room can be until I started painting every little nook n cranny but it so spotless now even edwina (and her dust allergy for the ignorant readers) could live there happily! Well it will be neway. Still got to finsih tho and Jenny is gonna come help me next week!!! isnt that rite jen?! Heheh well it was vgood fun, cant believe ive got so domesticated lol! Neway im off now to make elsewhere that isnt in the posionous direction of my bedroom for tonite!. :( Have to work 5 and a half hours tomorrow :(

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Date:Wednesday-4th-June-2003 11:50
Subject:Stuck in school!
Mood: okay

In school now, very dull. Done no revision surprise surprise! Been faffing about on the net all morning and now Im waiting for edwina to finsih her quiz so I can have a go on it! Then I think I may go down town and have lunch, yum yum. Im starting to get quite hungry :(

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Date:Tuesday-3rd-June-2003 21:20
Mood: pissed off
Music:Darling Violetta

ok so ive accidently deleted the first draft of this entry and am very pissed off, grr. Neways suffice to say it has bin a dull, dull and rainy day :( Went into town and watching tv usual stuff. Bought a very nice hair bobble with a little ornamenty thing on it that looks kinda victorian. Very pretty. Also bought fourth Harry Potter book so Ive got my own now :) ive also decided I want to keep a proper diary and make it really nice, not just entries but also put into other little things I find that are relevant to me, like spells or poems. Make it actually worth looking back on.
Have to go into school tomorrow to do some revision, yuk. But it has to be done and I can concentrate better in school neway! Last exam on monday, cant wait! Though to be fair its not like I put alot of effort into these exams neway!

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Date:Tuesday-3rd-June-2003 20:16
Subject:Big ol' survey! (again)
Mood: restless


:x: movie you rented = went to rent 8mile but bought it instead
:x: movie you bought = 8mile and moulin rouge together
:x: song you listened to = Bif Naked "I love myself today"
:x: song that was stuck in your head = see above
:x: cd you bought = Purge by Bif Naked & Parlour by Darling violetta together
:x: cd you listened to = Purge by Bif Naked
:x: person you've called = Jennifer
:x: person that's called you = Either jen or edwina
:x: tv show you've watched = VGraham Norton last nite
:x: person you were thinking of =hehe


:x: you have a bf or gf = kindof :)
:x: you wish you could live somewhere else = North America where there are wolves to listen to
:x: you think about suicide = not so much
:x: you believe in online dating = depends
:x: others find you attractive = dunno
:x: you want more piercings = yea some more would be nice
:x: you drink = i do
:x: you do drugs = no
:x: you smoke = nope
:x: you like cleaning = no but i do hate my room being too messy, bad energy
:x: you like roller coasters = Ive never actually ridden one! shh
:x: you write in cursive or print =call me thick but what the diff?
:x: you carry a donor card = no


:x: food = Chicken
:x: song = Transylvanian Concubine by Rasputina
:x: thing to do = be a slob
:x: thing to talk about = bitchin bout stuff!
:x: sports = yuk
:x: drinks = nethin
:x: clothes = oooo miss sixty or nething black
:x: movies = um lots.. LOTR, Interview WA Vampire, Schindler's List, 8mile, Xmen, spiderman, edward scissorhands, sleepy hollow, the good the bad and the ugly.
:x: band/singer = Rasputina, ourlady peace, eminem, bif naked, the smashing pumpkins
:x: holiday = Halloween without a doubt! Tho xmas comes close
:x: cars = dunno the diff

:x: shampoo do you use = dove
:x: perfume do you use =calvin klien, esp eternity or contradiction at the mo, tho gucci nice
:x: shoes do you wear = motorbike boots
:x: are you scared of = boogeymen


:x: of times I have been in love? = 0
:x: of times I have had my heart broken? = 0
:x: of hearts I have broken? = mayb damaged one a bit
:x: of girls I have kissed? = 0
:x: of boys I have kissed? = an amount
:x: of girls I've slept with? = 0
:x: of continents I have lived in? = 1 sadly
:x: of drugs taken illegally? = 0
:x: of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends? =2
:x: of people I consider my enemies? =oh loads!
:x: of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? = a couple i think
:x: of scars on my body? = 2 i can think of
:x: of things in my past that I regret? = urgh plenty if i thought bout it


:x: disney movie =Beauty and the beast(wasnt he better as the beast!?)/lion king
:x: scent = vanilla
:x: word = umm..well i swear alot
:x: guy name = David
:x: girl name = D'arcy
:x: eye color = green
:x: flower = rose
:x: piercing = the one through my lip
:x: actor = Alan Rickman,James Marsters, Hugh Jackman
:x: actress = angelina jolie, christina ricci, sarah michelle gellar, I like dem all but I dont really have fave actresses


:x: pretty =occasionally
:x: funny = can be
:x: hot =
:x: friendly = not a lot
:x: amusing = can be
:x: ugly =sometimes
:x: loveable = not really
:x: pessimistic = definately
:x: optimistic = sometimes
:x: caring = yea i think so
:x: sweet = possibly sometimes
:x: dorky = maybe a tad

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Date:Tuesday-3rd-June-2003 12:22

When I look to the night sky you are there.
When I cast my eyes over the mountains you are there.
When I reach out to the faraway clouds you are there.

Everywhere I move and walk I sense you there.
Everything I touch I feel you there.
And everyone I meet, they are you.

When will you release me, why do you keep me imprisoned?
So many years ago you tied my hands to your heart and keep me with you every place in which you are.

I follow you though never see you for your face is hidden from my eyes.

My punishment.
To never look upon you but only see your reflection,
Your echo,
Your shadow.

When I give warmth you take it away and when I make light you drown it out.
When I cry golden tears you shun me and the stars hide me away.

If I could I leave your side I wish I would. But I am captive to your beauty. Had you not bound me to you I would come anyway. My only wish to see you, though never will you let me.

The Sun and The Moon.

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Date:Monday-2nd-June-2003 21:17
Subject:Another short story

This time its about mermaids!

Read more... )

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Date:Monday-2nd-June-2003 20:13
Subject:Life in general (part 3)
Mood: good
Music:Bif Naked

well my cd's finally came, I like Darling Violetta but I will have to listen to the cd a bit more before I decide how much I like dem, But I am definately hooked on Bif Naked, that is a fantastic album and Ive already bin lastening to it non-stop. Recomendin dis one to nebody out der lol! Not bin to much, mondays are always a stupid day but at least i not have to go work for once :D But the season finale of friends is on network2 at 9 so im tryin to waste time until den! Stupid channel 4 r spillting the two parts over two weeks but im gonna get to c it all tonite hehe! :P Freinds has been going such a long time and i do think it got dull for a good while, but its certianly perked itself up now hasnt it! I love da whole joey n rachel storyline :)
grr why do my nails always break, they r so pitiful i bet everybody elses nails laugh at dem!

Im really missing my friends today, I dunno why cause I only dem all on saturday, monday blues ir summat. Im wondering what we should all do after the exams, mine are over on monday but nobody elses is so it wouldnt be for a while neway. I know we are all planning to have a girls-only night out and get drunk when they're over but id still like to do something else specifically to celebrate y'no!

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Date:Sunday-1st-June-2003 23:13
Subject:Reading fourth harry potter book now.
Mood: complacent

Im certianly preferring these late nights now that im off school and dont have to get up. Was at work all day today, boring. Im also getting sick of dis internet. It just isnt very stinulating, not sure why I bother writing anything here at all cause I could get a diary for that. Perhpas I should just print all this out at the end of the and it can be my diary. Actually y'no I quite like that idea cuz Ive never liked having real diaries that people can find neways :)

so wot else have I bin up to apart from slaving away in dat hellhole ... Well went to cinema last nite n saw da matrix which was very good but have to say I preferred the first one, it was darker and more original. Look at all the bits with agent smith, they were kewl but all the new characters didnt have the same intensity. Neways! Went out for a bit after but it was a bit of a dul nite un4tunatley.

Seeing as Im awake now I think ill go read more Harry Potter.

oooo on an even better note, amazon have sent my cd's so they should be here 2moro or tuesday!

on an even better note dan dat one, it is LESS than a month till I see Eminem LIVE :D
def da best birthday pressie ever and one of my more favourite birthdays overall. Tho it does remind me of dat ingrate grunt Melon, not dat money is the important thing but did she even give a crap about how much we collectively spent on her birthday as well as putting up with her temper tantrums during its build up. All that and then she cant even be bothered to be"civil" and say happy birthday to jen and I. To be honest it just boiled down to bad manners.

And you no what im sick of walking around on eggshells where helen is concerned and I dont care who reads this. It amazes me how different me and all my friends are since the start of this year, I dont think we'd have still been friends wit helen one way or another now anyway but I have honestly never wanted to slap sense into someone as hard as hard as I did her and while it has no bearing on me these days, it will forever piss me dat off dat I wasted a good chunk of life on her. With the end of school you cannot help looking back with regret at some aspects of the year now that we're done and can reflect.

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Date:Saturday-31st-May-2003 11:47
Subject:yawn (warning bufy rant)
Mood: bored
Music:Foo Fighters

one hour left till I have to go to work :( Read Harry Potter 2&3 yesterday, reading 4 now but the third one will always be my fave. Probably cause its got a (were)wolf in it and theres more snape. I imagine I would not have be so eager 4 Snape to get oodles of book time had I not already known Alan Rickman would be playing him b4 I started reading all da books, but neways lol........

Also i was watching old episodes of buffy and it just makes me very unhappy with the later seasons. They made up excellant ideas I feel but despite having perfectly good writers failed to do anything with them. Spike was overused and in a crappy way,im sure viewers would have preferred quality instead of quantity despite him being such a fan fave. Im sure we all could have appreciated his charcter more of he didnt spend all season drooling after buffy and doing nothing on his own..and the next season after that. Xander just got boring and Anya went the same way, Willow wasnt the endearing, sweet person she's supposed to be, instead she got whiny and dull. Giles got mean this season for some reason. I bought the whole Buffy distancing herself from her friends storyline bit im not really suprised she did, what with them being characterless, humourless shadows of their former selves! The potentials could have been really cool but the dead ones from the first couple of episodes were cooler than all the live ones put together :( The first just hovered about being as annoying as the rest of them instead of haunting them and playing clever, psychological mind-games with them like it should be doing. Its such a pity when season 7 started so powerfully. And I was really hoping the new school could have some good back-to-form high school episodes like the good ol days but it too disapeared into a sea of speeches and boring potentials.
Anyway all this leads to me being highly disapointed but all could have been saved except they went and killed off Spike. I get that it does seem the obvious way to perfectly round off his storyline, yea so obvious a two year could have though of it! I was so sure all seasons watching it that they would kill him and was just hoping they would please think of something original and exciting but no, they just kill him off as he saves the world. yawn!! I saw that coming from day one.

Neways at least Spike is gonna be on Angel next year! :D

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Date:Friday-30th-May-2003 00:27
Subject:muh, muh and muh
Mood: tired

Up late again! Just finished watchin Angel which my mum had taped 4 me unfortunetly she 4got about buffy! grr. Was stuck at work all day which was dull and to think I coulda bin spending dat time with jenny and edwina 4 once!! But ah well. Btw I think someone should officially ban Jennifer from driving, my eardrums cant stand the squealing. She's either driving like a snail squealing or racing down the road squaleing, all the while with edwina shouting "Clutch!" (or brake or accelorator, or whichever thing will cause the car to die very soon if jen does not make use of it lol)
Really reminds me of last summer when it was melon instead of Jenny, pity we saw her so little den, ud better not be thinking of going to Sligo dis summer nen!!! I miss the beach alot too, I know most of the time it was dark by the time we got der but it was still lotsa fun. I especially liked da time I nearly went home wit my boots still sitting on da wall at the beach! Duh me!
Really hurt my knee da other day :( Id prefer not to talk about how I did it (becuase I tripped over my own jeans like a duh :P) but its really killing menow cuz I had to keep kneeling up and down to get people der sodding curtains today! grr and den dey have the cheek to grumble at u becuase the shop doesnt sell that shade of yellow they love so much. Well push off den and go elsewhere, see if I care!!! I have no respect for neone buying d tat we sell neways. (made £400 tho, yay!)
Think im finally getting into the swing of things, being on holidays and all, its starting to be very relaxed and pleasant. Just getting up, deciding whether to get dressed or not, seeing friends instead of school, that kinda thing y'no! lotsa fun :) Read first harry potter book yesterday so tomorrow ill read da next week and mayb the day after that Ill persuade mum to buy me da third one hehe! Although Id rather read amies neway so I dont get my crumpled. lol reminds of da state melons books wud b in by the time she'd finished reading dem, including my books unfortunately ):( used to piss me off actually.
so nuthin really interestin to char bout.. but to be fair it is rather late and im quite tired..was waiting on a text from jodie but she has not yet replied so ive ended up keeping myself awake just a bit too long and now I cant sleep. yawn. well gues I could give it another go just for fun!

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