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*.:moonlit mango:.*

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[25 Jan 2004|10:39pm]
I just got finished watching The Mask of Zorro. Catherine-Zeta Jones (sp) is remarkably beautiful in that movie. I'm so envious of her. Anyway, I haven't written in here for a while :/ And now that I'm here, I don't know what I was gonna write about.
1 rescued me as you wish

[13 Jan 2004|07:11pm]
[ mood | calm ]

So friends at school say that we may have no school come Thursday. What's the excuse? Cold weather. Too-cold-to-snow weather. Oh, it snowed the night before last. Didn't stay around too long. That's alright since I hear that it'll be snowing more again this week. YAY! I love snow! So anyway, I had two letters in my backpack yesterday and decided to show my friend Laurence pictures of Maggixial (flower in hair) and Karabera (homecoming) :) He thinks they're pretty! Either that or he was just agreeing with me when I showed them to him and asked enthusiastically, "Aren't they pretty??" Naw, it was the former. It's unlike Laurence to just agree with something someone says; Laurence has built his own opinions and he follows no-one. I admire that about him. So anyway yea he thought they were pretty. On another note, I just got back from rehearsal. Laurence says I sing my solo too pretty. Wow what a compliment. I never knew anyone would call me a good singer, but many did. I was so surprised. I think I suck at it! That's why I used to sing in front of no-one until this whole Musical Revue thing came up. I'm supposed to sing my solo in an annoying nasal voice..I'll have to work on that. Hehe when I do get it down, people will be saying I suck at singing! Oh well. I'm just scared is all. I'm still a little shy, I guess. Anyway, I'm writing about crap no-one wants to read. I'm terrible in school and I have no hope for a career in journalism anymore. I'm just not smart enough. bat told me to stop complaining and do something about it. I agree with him. So I'll try. I think. I'll probably end of shrugging it off again.

3 rescued me as you wish

[04 Jan 2004|02:54pm]
[ mood | blah ]

I find myself doing things he does just so I can be reminded of him. In the mornings I wake up and recite his phone number so I can never forget it. Yesterday was spent crying twice on the phone over him. I don't know what my problem is, but I sure hope I figure it out soon. I got to talk to Kara finally. She was sweet as usual and she counseled me like she does to him. She likes a boy I don't think many like, but whatever makes her happy, right? There were a few people who weren't fond of my ex, but I stayed with him anyway. So I guess it's the same with her. It doesn't matter what they say and I guess she knows that. I haven't mailed any of the presents I recently bought for my Atl friends :( I need to get around to that, and quickly. They're expecting them. I feel like such trash for making Mxl wait so long for her present after she sent me mine early! I've had half of her gift laying around my room and I finally got the other half. All I need to do is wrap and send it. Alley Cat's isn't complete, nor are a couple of other gifts. Kaylin and Jessie, two very close friends, didn't even call me on my birthday or on Christmas! I don't hold a grudge against them, I'm just shocked. I wasn't expecting presents being poured onto me, but a phone call would have been nice. I find them to be as thoughtful as gifts. Oh well. Jenny, Kara, Mxl, Alley Cat, and a few others wished me a happy birthday and/or a Merry Christmas. I'm rambling. What a useless entry.

3 rescued me as you wish

[25 Dec 2003|06:20pm]
[ mood | blah ]

I won the solo part in Take Back Your Mink :) I was shocked. I thought the girl who sang before me was the best one for the part. That's the only part I got, but I don't mind one bit. The girl who sang before me got three different solos. She deserves every one. I only wish I was as great a singer as her. Anyway, my Christmas was the typical Christmas, except with very few gifts. I don't mind. The gifts I did get were good enough. I got the X-Men movie collection!! A 4-disc set! Wowee. So I watched X2 this morning :) Love it. And the whole rest of the day I've been watching episodes of SNL, the 50 greatest! That's when they were good. With Chris Kattan and all those great people. Not much else to say.

2 rescued me as you wish

Christmas List! [14 Dec 2003|11:42am]
I'm bored so I thought I'd compile a Wish List for...myself.
*Whiskeytown- Faithless Street album
*Ryan Adams- Rock n' Roll album
*Guys and Dolls soundtrack or DVD
*Garfield stuffed animal
*Elvis clock
*The Beatles day-to-day diary I saw at Barnes and Noble or anything Beatles :)
I have so many cds to burn today. Laurence is counting on me to make him a Broadway cd soon. He needs it for the musical review. I'm always afraid to burn a cd. Everytime I burn it, I have to reburn it because it won't play. I'm dumb when it comes to computers :/ I haven't talked to bat all weekend and it's really hurting. I guess maybe he's been out and about lately. I don't blame him. God I miss him. Everything's going wrong. Merry Christmas. I woke up this morning to a blanket of snow outside of my window. See now things like that are what life is worth living for. That and your loved ones.
2 rescued me as you wish

blah [09 Dec 2003|07:32pm]
Musical review meeting on Thursday. I'm auditioning for the Musical review and I think I might even have to sing! I can't sing! Laurence is begging me to audition because they "need" me. Blahblahblah. It's a musical, how cool is that? I think I might be singing a song from Guys and Dolls that Laurence recommended I audition with. He thinks I can get the role. I can't act and I can't sing. He's crazy. I can't even read music!
2 rescued me as you wish

untitled [28 Nov 2003|02:23pm]
[ mood | scared ]

The John Mayer concert was spectacular. I wasn't as far away from the stage as I thought I would be. I was far enough that there was no chance I'd run into him lol. Oh well. I forgot my camera at home, too! Besides that, everything was perfect. Anyway, Thanksgiving wasn't too good. I do have a lot to be thankful for, though. I dunno, a few friends of mine had a rough-even terrible- Thanksgiving and that kind of impacted my own Turkey Day. Also, someone very dear to me is having heart problems and I have to just sit at home and wait for a phone call to confirm that he's alright. Sorry I haven't updated here lately. I guess I've had a lot on my mind. I know I'm not the only one. God Bless y'all. Bat I love you and I miss you and you'll always mean the world to me.

4 rescued me as you wish

[17 Nov 2003|10:18pm]
[ mood | depressed ]
[ music | "Split-Screen Sadness" John Mayer ]

There's a buzzing in my ears from my brother's tv. He's got it on and I feel like I'm going insane. I can't sleep at night because I'm too busy trying to find out what's right, what's my path. Who do I take along with me? I've never had to decide something so hard before, I don't think. If you ever hate me, bat, I'll understand.

3 rescued me as you wish

[09 Nov 2003|02:37pm]
[ music | "Quiet" John Mayer ]

Somehow i can't seem to find
the quiet inside my mind

That's how I've been feeling lately. Everything's racing and I just want to pause and think. So many things have to be done, so many thoughts have to be sorted. I should be doing my homework but instead I'm on here writing down things I don't even know the meaning to. Am I being tested? If so, I want it to stop. I want everything to be as it was before I left Atlanta. Perfect. Now it's all array and I can't fit it back together again. My poor friend is feeling lonely lately. I don't know how to help her. I guess I was right when I said I wasn't very strong when handling problems or decisions. Decisions are always the end of me so I have end upon end upon end continuously. When will this end?

4 rescued me as you wish

[05 Nov 2003|03:14pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Been sick for too long! I'm dancing tonight in ballet. For the past few days I've been just watching class. Tonight, I'm back in the game :) Sorry for not updating frequently. I've had a lot on my mind and no time to think/sort it all out. I'm confused as hell and that's what being a teenager is all about, I guess. All I can say is, it sucks. I gtg now. I promise more later though :)

4 rescued me as you wish

Something's missing [30 Oct 2003|01:55pm]
..and I don't know how to fix it
I came home around 11:30 because I got sick last night with a very sore throat. Mom bought me some French vanilla hot cocoa and whip cream so I could have ghetto Starbucks at home. Mmn it was good. Still haven't found my ring and I try not to think about it. Usually I'm not very successful at that though. My friend Justin gave me an Elvis pin and that made me very happy for the rest of the day. A guy named Alex gave me a Spiderman folder, too. For no reason! Haven't updated in here for a while. Tomorrow I'm doing what? I dunno yet. Gonna go to bed again. Bye.
5 rescued me as you wish

Ain't love the sweetest thing? [21 Oct 2003|02:27pm]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | "The Killing Moon" Echo and the Bunnymen ]

I'm going to have to fake my way through the auditions Thursday afternoon. Wish me luck cuz I'm going to need it. I haven't had the chance to rehearse at all. Scary. I'm basically going to have to make it up as I go along. I'm so thankful Mom gave me some of her taste in music. I love some of the old '80s songs she played when I was younger, this being one of them. Music is such a big thing in my life. You feel with it. Emotions always stir even if you want to keep them locked up and that's the beauty of music. This is a boring entry. Not much is happening, that's why.

2 rescued me as you wish

*bites nails* [16 Oct 2003|07:55am]
[ mood | blank ]

Today is a mandatory Talent Show meeting in the Auditorium right after school. I'm scared! Jeez on the day of the talent show, I really really hope the majority of the audience likes my piece :( I have the wierdest uneasy feeling that they'll just laugh at me. But hey, that's what I'm trying to do. Make them have fun. So if having fun means laughing at me, they better laugh at me. I'd rather have them laugh than have them bored as hell, fighting sleep. I gtg to school now.

2 rescued me as you wish

[13 Oct 2003|11:23am]
[ mood | content ]

I spent yesterday watching rented Blockbuster movies and thinking of home. I'm a really lucky girl. There's tons out there who've had it worse and I wish they never had to deal with that, but I'm not going to sit here and pout because of my misfortunes. I've only had a few compared to others I know and love. Anyways, no school today since it's Columbus day. So I'll just sit here and do my movie review for English while chowing down on Boston Cream twinkies (no kidding). Oh and now I have a friend that not many people like. They keep asking me, "Are you friends with Annie?" and I always have to tell them yes and ask them why, since I just met Annie. They say she's mean and informative..I know people who are informative, but that's only because their parents rubbed that characteristic onto them. That doesn't make them mean. They probably don't even notice they're being that way. Anyway, I didn't explain this to the girls who asked me if I liked Annie. I will next time, though. She's a fun girl to be around and even if she sounds like a know-it-all to them sometimes, that doesn't make her a bad person.

2 rescued me as you wish

[09 Oct 2003|02:45pm]
[ mood | busy ]
[ music | Peter Pan trailer. I'm obsessed ]

I let some guy copy off my math work and he started staring at me. I asked him why he was staring and he told me I reminded him of the Cindy character from the Scary Movie movies. I look nothing like her! He says that I do look like her and that I even talk like her. He said it wasn't a bad thing :) I don't see how we resemble eachother at all though. I'm hungry. And I have gym homework. GYM HOMEWORK. You have to turn in current events each friday and you have to keep a journal! The journal is due tomorrow and guess what, I haven't written anything! I'm going to have to make up a paragraph for each week I've been in school all in one night and it's my own fault. They'll gawk when they read it: "I walked 4 blocks to and from school Then I walked to Columbus Circle to cath the subway. After I got off the subway, I walked a block to the bus stop. When I got off the bus, I walked 6 blocks to my ballet school. Then I took ballet classes. Then I did the whole routine over again coming home." How's that for exercise?

2 rescued me as you wish

[04 Oct 2003|07:47pm]
[ mood | embarrassed ]
[ music | "Benny and Joon" on tv ]

Ok I give you permission to point and laugh at me, but I'm not going to hide this: I want to see the new Peter Pan.

4 rescued me as you wish

Happiness in the midst of it all [02 Oct 2003|03:01pm]
[ mood | chipper ]
[ music | "Try A Little Tenderness" Otis Redding, Pretty In Pink ]

Man I miss Kara and Jessie a lot right now. I haven't heard anything from their lives lately, especially Kara's. It's like she dropped off the face of the earth or something. I never see her online anymore. I need to call them. I hear from my other friends, thank God. I want to thank you guys for keeping in touch with me. Just a simple hi makes me happy and you do that for me. Thank you I love you all so much. I will never take your friendship for granted. And bat no matter what happens, I will always love you.

12 rescued me as you wish

[01 Oct 2003|02:49pm]
[ mood | cold ]
[ music | "Guajira" Yerba Buena ]

I hope I pass all of my Regents exams. I want to get into a good college, be a great journalist and ballerina, support my future family, all of these things. I want to do these things so badly yet there I am at school fighting to keep my eyes open instead of jotting down every sentence the teacher says. Do I even deserve success? I haven't worked as hard as others I know. The students who work hard and get A's deserve success, not me. Even the students who work hard and get lower than an A deserve success. Sometimes I feel like I deserve it, sometimes not. Right now I don't and that's not good. Look at me, I'm a Junior in highschool. "Everything counts in large amounts" now. I'm scared.

10 rescued me as you wish

[29 Sep 2003|02:45pm]
[ mood | energetic ]
[ music | "Warriors" Lord of the Dance ]

Omg my English teacher Mr. Shaw has epilepsy. We thought he was kidding at first, but he told us all these detais of what happens to him when he has seizures and he told us how these seizures came to be (he fell on his head when he was a Senior in highschool). I was apalled and we were all cracking up because he's a funny guy. I wish you could meet this guy, he's great. That was my day for you. I have ballet to go to at 3:30.

4 rescued me as you wish

Yayayayay! [27 Sep 2003|07:57pm]
[ mood | crazy ]
[ music | "La Negre Tiene Tumbao" Celia Cruz ]

Two GREAT things are going to occur: 1) I get to see John Mayer! This will be my de-concert-virginization and by a wonderful singer, too! It's $40 and worth it. and 2) X-Men comes in in one minute. BYE!

3 rescued me as you wish

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