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don't fall asleep [17 Oct 2003|08:10pm] i made "Pasta Con Salsa Di Melanzane" (pasta w/ spicy eggplant sauce) for dinner and it was fucking fabulous. a lot of things in this past week have been fucking fabulous. i've been cooking a lot, taking a lot of pictures, and not thinking about moving in a month. pittsburgh is the last place i want to be this winter. i love the city and the people and all of that... but i am finally happy HERE. sure, i'm scared that i'll never get out of here if i don't do it now, but mostly i'm going because i HAVE to. i lose any sort of medical coverage unless i'm enrolled in college and i probably won't have the money to go to school for another seven years if i don't go now. ehh thinking about this shit only pisses me off. i wish i could put it off forever. post comment

[15 Sep 2003|08:16pm] the fest went off with few major problems. at the very very end of the night, a couple of drunk assholes stumbled onto the grounds and decided they wanted to fight everyone. after ten minutes of dealing with their bullshit (pouring beer on people, threatening to punch tiny emo girls, etc) we got them to leave. in the morning, i found out that some drunk kid severely burned his arm when he was trying to "walk through the bonfire". it may sound callous, but if your drunk ass decides its a good idea to walk through a fucking fire, you get whats coming to you. i'm still not sure if we broke even, but alteast everyone had fun and the weather was decent. post comment

sunday kind of love [01 Sep 2003|04:15am] my ears hurt and i can't fucking sleep. one good thing about being up: mike and i had a chance to talk and we figured out our halloween costumes for this year. i won't give it away, but i'll give a little hint... it involves one of us wearing a tiger costume and one of us wearing a flowy white shirt unbuttoned from mid-chest up. post comment

[28 Aug 2003|06:12am] my hands feel gross from stocking dusty bottles of juice and ripping apart cardboard boxes. i feel like all i do these days is work. i try not to think about it as much as possible and not memorize anything i don't absolutely need to know. the less useless shit clogging up my brain, the better. however, i fell asleep on the couch last night and my mom told me that i sat up and said "would you like cigarettes? ok, your total is blahblahalskalsklkaks". that drives me crazy. i can't even escape this shit in MY SLEEP. the walk home this morning was sort of nice. it's not summer anymore, i can feel it. the streets were a little busier with before-school activity and the air smelled different. the tension was palpable. i hate that feeling. it's a little relieving to be done with that for awhile. post comment

phone is ringing, oh my god [27 Aug 2003|07:56pm] another long, wasted day leading up to another boring-ass graveyard shift. i miss my friends. "constant anticipation of every move you know i've been dying to make..." post comment

[25 Aug 2003|03:23am] yesterday (sunday) was really nice and relaxing. caitlin came in town and we caught up on a lot of things. she's moving to pittsburgh in two weeks but it isn't a huge deal. i mean, i'll be there in a few months and it's close enough to visit her all the time. i hope she can get things straightened out with college, though. out of all my friends who just graduated, i seem to be the only one who has my college shit worked out. the terrible part is, i'm ready to say "fuck it" and waste everything i worked for. i know that's ridiculous and i should consider myself really fucking lucky, but sometimes it just seems like too much to handle. post comment

[24 Aug 2003|01:33pm] i can feel autumn sneaking up on me. the nights here are so cold lately. i walked home from work at 5:45 this morning and it felt like october, not august. everyone is getting ready for school and work and i hate it. it doesn't feel like summer ever really started, so how can it end? post comment

i invite you over for a locked door [17 Aug 2003|01:09am] today felt like such a long day even though i didn't do much. i went to a benefit show for someone's mom who had a heart attack a few years ago and still can't pay her hospital bills. i was bummed that more people didn't show up because it was such a good cause. if my family didn't have so many financial problems of our own, i would have donated more than eleven dollars. i hope the rest of the show went well for them. i left after three bands and a bad thunderstorm. my face is sunburned, but i think it always looks a little sexy for the first few days. i wish it didn't hurt so much, though. does anyone know any good remedies to get rid of the sting? post comment

thrown to the wolves [16 Aug 2003|12:00am] we were waaay behind at work today, so they took me off my training and put me on my own register. oh man. i had to deal with the snottiest, most annoying woman EVER. she wouldn't let anyone bag for her because "it was done so badly last time" (maybe its because you bought $200 worth of groceries at the busiest time of the day and had them put in paper bags?). she was all "i'm not mad at you, but i want to talk to the manager. they aren't training you people right." uh, fuck you. if you aren't mad at me, act like a FUCKING GROWNUP and don't take your anger out on someone innocent. i don't want to talk about the blackout a lot because it wasn't a big deal here. in my town, it meant everyone was hanging outside, talking to their neighbors, and going for walks. i took a sweaty nap and the power was back on by eight. eh. i'm so fucking tired. post comment

[11 Aug 2003|02:25am] couscous fest 2003 went off with no major problems. we made it through six rounds (toasted pinenut, mediterranean curry, plain w/ veggies and sauce, toasted pinenut [the sequel], pilaf, and cinnamon apple for desert). every round was fabulous except the cinnamon apple one, which was waaaay too dry and bland. no one made it through every single round. elyse and dusty were going pretty strong until the fourth one, and then they buckled. we had to take a break for digestion. it was so great to see a roomful of punks leaning back on ratty old couches, clutching their full bellies and saying, "man, i can't eat anymore". post comment

[05 Aug 2003|01:10am] where did the day disappear to? work wasn't so bad today. it was only four hours and i had a few things explained to me. i still don't know where all the secret "employee only" shit is at and instead of telling me, everyone just sighs and says "ok, i'll take it there myself". dude! wtf! atleast tell me for future reference. as soon as i got off work, i went up to m&d's and a couple of us went to see "pirates of the caribbean" with free movie passes. i liked it. i know elyse WILL drag me to see "her woman" in tomb raider 2, and i hope we can get some more passes for that shit. much love to theatre employees who hook their friends up constantly. oh, and on a semi-related topic, the break room door at the theatre was left ajar and i saw a sign that said "remember! upselling and suggestive selling = $25.00 bonus!". a $25.00 bonus for convincing someone to buy a large soda instead of a medium! unreal. post comment

[03 Aug 2003|05:44pm] work is terrible. did you know "bagger" is just another word for "slave"? i hate the way everyone is so vague and expects me to know where shit is when it was my FIRST DAY and no one gave me the GRAND GODDAMN TOUR. also, taking the carts from the cart corral into the store sucks (espescially when you have short arms and less than stellar motor skills, like me)! i need to think of new ways to dodge that responsibility. atleast i'm getting paid, right? right. p.s. if you are buying 12 motherfucking two liter bottles of soda, don't ask for paper bags. in fact, if you have over half a cart full of groceries, don't ask for paper bags. they are hell to pick up and i won't give them to you. 1 comment|post comment

[03 Aug 2003|02:25am] so, i got the job. i start today, sometime around noon. i'm trying to convince everyone i know to apply so we can slowly take over the entire store. bracken and i drove to foxburg yesterday to put flowers at grandpa's grave. i wish i had a few more minutes to reflect on things, but these totally creepy gravediggers were working twenty feet away and wouldn't stop gawking at us. i was pissed. anyways, after we were done there, we drove up the road to emlenton. it is seriously the cutest town ever and i want to snuggle the shit out of it. too bad there's nothing to do there. i know i'd be miserable if i had to live there, but it's nice to drive through. oh man, this has been the slowest weekend of my life. post comment

hellwalk 2003 [31 Jul 2003|06:18pm] i just spent an hour typing up a long ass story about last night and blurty messed up (page not available) so i lost it all. haha, that's just my luck. i'll give a brief recap here, and maybe i will get to writing it all again sometime. around midnight we decided to try to find this old, haunted farm. a few of us had tried a couple months ago, but turned around when we lost the trail. tonight, we thought, we would just pay closer attention. ha. we got lost. in the deep allegheny forest. at night. within ten minutes we realized we were not even on the trail we took last time. we crossed rickety old bridges, used a narrow, wet log to cross a swamp, climbed up HUGE MUDDY HILLS, slipped down the other side of the aforementioned hills, lost the trail several times, and walked through creeks and grass as high as my waist. the flashlights repeatedly threatened to burn out on us, so we had to book it through some crazy terrain. we knew there was no way we'd ever get back to the cars if we turned around, so we decided to keep moving forward and eventually hope a road would turn up. it did, two and a half hours later. luckily, we had a girl with us we knew exactly where we were when we came to the road. i had never met her before last night, but she saved our asses. four of the boys decided to run ahead and get to the cars (which were about six miles away) while the remaining seven of us decided to walk at a leisurely pace. we were almost hit by a semi that was waaay over the center line and passed by several vans that could have easily given us a ride. but honestly, i was just happy to see concrete and houses and be out of the fucking forest. around 5 am we arrived at the beginning of the road that the cars were on, and decided to just wait and relax. we had walked about 10 miles total and sitting in cold, wet grass never felt so good. in the carride home, everyone was like "that was so much fun! i love doing stuff like that"... yeah, you looked really fucking ecstatic falling in the mud and slipping on wet rocks. a few people got on my back for being miserable, but how else am i supposed to react to being lost in the fucking forest? it's how i cope, ok? just sing posi 80's hardcore with me and let me deal with my pissed-offedness. don't tell me i should be CHEERFUL. i got home around six, but only had two hours of sleep because of a job interview. it's been a long day. post comment

t-shirt tucked in [16 Jul 2003|04:20pm] while clearing the jungle out of our backyard, the landscaping dudes found a nest with five baby birds in it. i notoriously hate all non-penguin birds, but these things were damn cute. they weren't any bigger than my thumb and barely had any feathers. my sister put them on a porch rafter because they bush they were living in was cut down and there are too many cats in this neighborhood to leave them in the yard. cute cute cute. i'm going to party tonight (no alcohol, though) even though i'm starting to feel sick again. being stuffed up in the house only makes me feel that much worse. post comment

it's the freakin' weekend [12 Jul 2003|02:05am] today was booooring, but pain free (for the most part). i got up super early for no good reason, ate some terrible broccoli in black bean sauce, went on a long drive for no reason, and sat at dusty's all evening waiting for someone interesting to show up. bleh. i SHOULD go to bed because i have to get up obscenely early tomorrow (today), but i have shit to do NOW. alsklasklk!!! rescue me. post comment

[11 Jul 2003|02:54am] today (well, yesterday now... thursday!) was even worse than the day before. the same pains in my abdomen woke me up around noon/12:30 and made me miserable all day. i took the pain pills and within ten minutes of taking them (i tried a couple different times), i just puked them back up. around 8 i barfed up a crapload of water (!!!! sorry, this is gross, i know) and then passed out until midnight. the pains had stopped when i woke up, but i have a feeling they are going to come back some time today. i really really don't want to spend another five hours in a room at the hospital, waiting to be pumped full of dye, drained of blood, and told they don't know what is wrong with me. elyse and bracken think it may be a kidney stone or something, because my back ached a lot too... but i'm not so sure. kidney stones would have should up on the ct scan, right? well, i'm going to try to get some sleep before i start to feel like i'm being stabbed in the side again. post comment

[10 Jul 2003|12:12am] i spent all afternoon in the fucking hospital and they didn't find anything. at first, they thought it was appendicitis, but after the WORST PAP SMEAR I'VE EVER HAD and a ct scan, they said it wasn't. i left around six with a pain prescription and a stomach ache (instead of a stabbing pain on the right side of my abdomen) from the dye they made me drink for the ct scan. whatever. i'm really glad i don't need surgery or anything, but something had to have caused those pains. i've never felt anything like it before. in other news, going to parties is so weird now that i've decided to stop drinking for awhile. i can handle a bunch of drunk people being all giggly and shit, but time passes so much slower when you are the only sober one in the room. 1 comment|post comment

[01 Jul 2003|02:10pm] it's beautiful outside, but just too damn hot! i was all psyched up to go for a jog, but when i went to the store to buy sunscreen (and ended up not having enough money on me), i almost died. if four blocks nearly kills me, i don't think i will survive two miles. maybe if it cools down later... i'm bored. post comment

[27 Jun 2003|07:24pm] well... shit. our plans to move in august fell through and now we are in quite a bind. none of us intended to be there long, just long enough to save up some money for an apartment of our own. now we have to scrape together the little money we've received from graduation and try to find a place ASAP. i know this means we won't have furniture for awhile, let alone godknowswhatelse. i'm kinda bummed because the other place was so perfect for RIGHT NOW and now i have to rework everything in my head. god, i just want some stability. post comment

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