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Sexual anesthetic

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[02 Jun 2005|11:49pm]
So....It's been awhile.
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no bush., no war [03 Nov 2004|12:39am]
mooooooooooooooooooore shows

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[29 Oct 2004|12:52am]
Shows in Kingston for November

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flipping flipper [22 Oct 2004|11:38pm]
[ music | The Used ]

Today I ate:
french toast
root beer
smart food popcorn

Big news. I got a job. A real job this time. I am now the afternoon/midnight shift weekend girl at Tim Hortons Coffee. I said I'd never work at fast food, but Tim Hortons doesn't count because they do not sell hamburgers so it's on the list of "okay to do".

I'm scared, because Tim Hortons is always full of people and you have to go fast. I have a 5 question interview today and she asked me if I was a fast learner, so I lied and said yes.
I'm not a fast learner. I listen to the instructions, I usually don't get it. So I stand infront of the task for a few minutes, and then just try to do it my way. If I make a mistake the person the will come behind me and tell me the problem, it will be fixed then I know how forever. That's not a fast learner.
I want to make sandwiches so I don't have to talk to people. I want to be on drive-thru so the person I'm serving isn't standing there watching me be slow.

But holy fuck guys, I have a job! Before graduation I said I'll have a job by October, assuming I'd be hired in August, but oh no. But here we are October
22nd, and I have a job and a paper route. Whoa.
I start on Tuesday at 5pm until 10pm, for training.

I don't know how it's going to work out. I have to take out my labret. I have never, ever taken it out. If I was being served, I would rather have someone with a piercing then someone with an open hole in my face.
I'd rather work with a big bandaid and hairnet over my chin then take it out.

I'm calling my piercer tomorrow, in BC, to see how long I can have it out for before it grows over.

I have to take my piercing out. I can only wear one ring, opposed to my three that I wear on a regular basis. Cannot wear watches or bracelets. Hair needs to be, not a huge deal. No nail polish.
If I have a cut on my hand I need to wear a bandaid then wear gloves over it. Since I have a wild kitten my hands will be so covered my hands will look like the michellan man.

I am grateful for my restricting job. I'll probably end up taking up smoking, that's the only thing you can do at break.

The only thing I'm looking forward to is the fact I'm technically not a bum any more, and my name tag. I'm going to see if I can get away with wearing pins on my uniform.

Hello, My Name is: DAMIEN

Only in my world's tim hortons.

I've never been denied my "individuality" before and it's hurts so much. I'm fucking offended, I'm offended over a serving coffee job.

I got my flu shot today, oh it was bliss. I love needles.
Afterwards we went to the laundry mat, then Wal-mart.

I spent $99.76 at WalMart. I bought myself the new CD by The Used. I'm a little bit disappointed by it. I like "Let It Bleed" and "Sound Effects and Overdramatics" so far. But I'm not as amazed as I had hoped, especially for $17.
I also bought myself a book, "Will They Ever Trust Us Again?" by Michael Moore.
It's a collection of letters for the soliders in Iraq. I am going to start reading it soon, once I finish "Dangerous Angels". I started reading it months ago, then stopped for a long time, but I started again a few days ago. Almost finished.
I also bought myself two bottles of vitamans, Cranberry supplements to keep the Vagina healthy and Vitamin C with Echineaca for the rest of the body. Blistex for my lips.
Then I bought this pet smell spary for the carpet because Bowie and Max like to use the basement for their toilet, it's gross.
I got some Yule Shopping done as well. Next time I go out with Jo to Belleville, I'll be finished.

I called Wayne tonight, I love him.

Passage from Dangerous Angels:

"Dirk and Pup looked up at Jimi burning his guitar. It flamed beneath the steeple of his hands, between his legs. Jimi had said it was like a sacrifice. He loved his guitar. He was giving up something he loved. Dirk wondered if Jimi had felt that way about life."
-Page 392

I hung the roses Wayne gave me last week, to dry tonight. They are hanging above my bed, above my pillow. The bouqet has been beside my bed all week, I wake up to the smell of those flowers. I am sure the same is to be said about the next few mornings.

It's going to be a bitch standing for hours straight for the first time in my life. I'm going to OD on tylenol before I go to work so it makes me not be able to feel.

I'm afraid of my job.

I am also thristy. For orange juice. I will settle for milk.

I need to call Justin hardcore. But he hasn't tried to get a hold of me either.

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[17 Oct 2004|11:05pm]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | Moe Jones-Without a name ]

Today I ate:
meat that was beaten
calliflower/couple other veggies covered in cheese sauce
Emerson cookies

msn-I am the Walrus

I feel stupid because I thought I was going to be disappointed with my birthday. Although I spent the day of my birthday alone, my birthday get-together/party was very, very amazing.
I wasn't disappointed at all, ever. I was reminded of how much my friends love me. They really do love me.

I wanted to be at Wayne yesterday for about noon, but I didn't thereil maybe 4pm. Wade was there with Wayne when mum dropped me off.
Wayne and I walked to the Alcohol Sales house and wished we had a car cause it was pretty much raining sleet, it was fucking freezing and we got soaked. Wayne bought some beer and I got a bottle of this wine cooler-ness.

When we got back, the three of us watched The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and Briar showed up. Then Alysson, then Stacey made a huge, hilarious entrance.
"WHO'S DRUNK? I KNOW I AM!", and she looked all made up and cute in her hat and new coat hahaha.
It was going on ten and there was still no Jo, so I called and she forgot the party was that night, but she's been working and has had a lot of stuff on her mind. She didn't end up coming out cause the roads were pretty slippery, but it was no big deal.

Emerson came and he made me cookies, three cds, and a joint for my birthday present. Food, music and drugs. What else do you need? oh, that's where Wayne came in.

It was a great night, Wade was hilarious in his drag. He put on Stacey's Jacket with her shoes and Briars purse. At one point, Wade says: "okay man, I'm going home". So he left. Then about 5 minutes later he was back. Then he left again and no one saw him leave. He left pretty much everything he brought and Stacey took it all home minus his 4 ciggys.

Briar is hilarious, I love her. After all she is a Spaceship Superstar with a solar powered lazer guitar. Her and Alysson discovered their family bond. Briar tried to comprehend all that is Alysson. It was a fun conversation to listen to.

Stacey was heart set on going on a "random welly adventure" and most of us just smiled and gave her a nod for most of the night..but then...all of a sudden, we were all outside walking down the street. I was surprisingly very warm on the walk, mins my wet feet from the puddles. Stacey stole a windchime from the front of a store, a pumpkin from some guys yard, then Briar stole a scarecrow and knocked over a birdbath..although that too could have been Stacey.
I could have walked around and done other stuff for about another half hour if I had that sort of drive or energy.

So yeah, the party was hilarious and fun. Emerson was extra quiet tonight, it's too bad Chris and Jo couldn't come.

Wayne got me this big beautiful flower arrangement for my birthday. Roses and daisies. Cool Daisies. The card was grand.
After everyone left, we made love, sweeeeeeet love. I am in love with him, abolsutely deeply in love with him. Our relationship is a 9 out of 10. The only minus is distance.
I love Wayne Plumton.

I dyed my hair Saturday morning. It's awesome and hot.

Movies I need to own in the near future:
1.Donnie Darko
2.SLC Punk
4.Dead Poets Society

My top ten favorite Beatles song (in no particular order), because Jo made me want to make the list.
1. Across the Universe
2. I Me Mine
3. A Day in The Life
4. Come Together
5. Norwegian Wood
6. Helter Skelter
7. While My Guitar Gently Weeps
8. Revolution
9. Yer Blues
10. Dear Prudence

That was pretty much the hardest thing to do ever.

I need to brush my teeth.

My birthday was great, it's over. It's been good being 18 thus far.

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[14 Oct 2004|12:47am]
[ mood | disappointed ]

today I ate:
cranberry juice
kraft dinner

msn-only when you realize the gem I am

I watched the debate tonight of course and seriouslym neither of those men won anything. I loved Bob Schfieer, he's fucking great.
I don't believe Kerry did terribly, but it could have cost him the election. But I don't believe Bush did well enough tonight to win the election either.

There are many things I disagree with Kerry on, but he is the man for the job. I love how he always wears his Lance Armstrong bracelet. I love that Michael J Fox was sitting with Tearesa during the debate.

NHL Hockey was supposed to start I am the last person to call myself a die hard hockey fan. I only watch during the playoffs if Colorado made it (which, obviously, they always do).
In Canada, every Saturday, there was a show called Hockey Night in Canada, last year was it's 50th annivesary. YOU CAN'T NOT PLAY HOCKEY AND STOP HOCKEY NIGHT IN CANADA! What are people supposed to do with their Saturday's now?
The Hockey players are acting like the stupid baseball players last year. Grow the heck up.

I painted a picture today.

I've been excited about my birthday for awhile and I've had this feeling I'd be disappointed. I've discovered why, but it's alright. I feel like a horrible person, but I know I'm deserving.

"you owe me nothing gor giving the love that I give
you owe me nothing for caring the way that I have"
-Alanis Morissette

I have no mailing address. The lease or whatever ran out on our postal box a few weeks ago, and my mum hasn't gotten around to paying it, so any mail we get, it's returned to sender, saying there is no such address. My mum hasn't been a frequent mail checker the past year and a half anyway. She'd only check the box maybe once a month, when she got home she'd hand me the huge pile of mail and tell me to hide it so Scott wouldn't see all the "open immediate-lys" from the credit card company. There are piles of un-open mail from months ago.
I don't like hiding a burden.

I'll be most likely dying my hair tomorrow. Cannot wait.

My new favorite word is "perhaps". It is suggestive, yet not.

I am very interesting, and do many things all day...I just choose not to write about I'll just say the same things I always say, although they are very true.

I can't wait until my birthday, and Wayne's house on Saturday. and I love Wayne, despite the pokes and prods I've been feeling as of late.

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[13 Oct 2004|12:05am]
[ mood | enthralled ]

Today I ate:
iced tea
diet coke

msn-I want a perfect body I want a perfect soul I want you to notice when I'm not around

8:40am or so yesterday Alysson and her mum came to pick me up. From my house we went to IGA where we saw Jo and bought chip/dip, cheesekcake supplies.
Then we went to Town and Country video where Alysson picked out LEGALLY BLONDE TWO, and The Virgin Suicides, while I forced her to rent Coffee and Cigarettes because Jack and Meg White are in it. It was an alright movie. I would buy it. Justin was working and of course it always marvelous to see him.

I've called The Royal about the show twice yesterday, twice today. No one has called me back and no one has answers. I'll call again tomorrow and kick ass for answers.

I cut out 8 pairs of pattern for Sue which made me $40, which I am extremely happy with. 8 pairs may not seem like a lot, but it was my first time and it is very time consuming.

When I wasn't cutting out, Alysson and I were watching movies and eating, calling Wayne and Stacey, and I knitted in between such tasks. Sue made ham, brussel sprouts, and scalped potatoes. I hate scalped potatoes. They are my enemy, I fucking them.
It was my first time ever having brussel sprouts. Never again.
Sue felt bad cause I didn't like supper haha. The ham was good. And cheesecake was for dessert, so I didn't have a care in the world. You could cut off my right arm, then hand me cheesecake and I'd forget whatever you just did.

Once I was finished cutting for the night, Alysson and I went upstairs where I ate almost an entire little tub of french onion dip with chips. Fucking glutton=Damien. I dove into them and didn't stop until I couldn't really taste it anymore.
Chip and dip are a rare thing for me, so if I have an entire tub of dip and a large bag of chips in front of me...I'm taking advantage.

We were able to get whatever we wanted at the grocery store that morning. Now that I think about it I should have just got a large can of Del Monte fruit. But no no no no, chip and diiiiiiip!

I forgot to mention, before we had got home that morning we stopped at a yard sale where I bought a very old black and white picture of a group of little girls twrilling these things around. I don't know who they are, or what they're doing but I love the picture. Perhaps I'll scan it one day and post it here.
Alysson bought three movies Trading Places, Angels in the Outfield and The Frighteners.

Alysson's bus comes at 7:20am and she threatened that she was going to wake me up in the morning when she was getting ready for school.
I was woken up that morning to Sue telling Alysson that she missed her bus, and Bob telling her to hurry up because she was going to be driven to school.
I went back to sleep while I still could. I woke up at 9:30 wondering why I was sleeping still. I got up to go to the bathroom, heard Alysson's TV on, peeked in, guess who was at home still sleeping?
I went downstairs, made myself some toast, then I cut out the patterns I had left. Sue went upstairs for a nap, when I was finished cutting, I curled up with some cheesecake and watched The View and The Ellen DeGeneres Show until Erin came to pick me up.

Erin came and we went to her Grandma's for a few minutes and she gave us $6 for a couple of scartch tickets for us. WHOOOOO!
Neither of us won anything, but it was fun.

When we got to Erin's we put together a lunch that ended up beung a really yummy meal. We sat on the couch, ate awesome left overs from her thanksgiving and watched 5 hours of Law and Order:SVU.
It was a great fucking day. Erin's dad is awesome, I've always thought he was, but today instead of walking he did random hoping from one foot to the other and I wondered really hard about him. haha j/k.

Erin took me home around 4:30, mum left for work a few minutes later.

I missed Bowie while I was away, making ends meet and watching great DVDs.

Tonight I watched Sex and The City while Bowie attacked my knees and our other cat Max.

Briar said she'll most likely be coming to Wayne's on saturday which is grand.
I am excited about my birthday.

fa la la la la la la la la

I am in love with my boyfriend and I miss him so much.

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[15 Sep 2004|10:34pm]
kick back, free meals. Say goodbye to all responsibility cause you never wanted it
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[30 Aug 2004|11:31pm]
[ mood | blank ]
[ music | cursive ]

Today I ate:
smartfood popcorn
half a sandwich

msn-the walrus was paul

I want those shoes with all my being. If I ever got them, I would then need to decide if I would ever wear them.
Of course I would.
I want.

I slept in until 11:30, and then got up ate breakfast then napped for 20 minutes. I fought with Jake to get dressed for an hour then we walked to the store, brought the movie scott rented back, then got some food (smartfood popcorn, nibs).
We came home, I went on the computer for two hours, then napped. I napped a while later too.
If I had a life I wouldn't stay online all night.

I have a plan for this weekend, we'll see how it works out though.

Stacey got a job.

I shouldn't bother writing entries sometimes, especially when they turn out like this one.

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[04 Aug 2004|10:19pm]
Your band by jesus_spiced
Pick an obscenity
You will be theLead Singer
Your groupie will bemiss_innocent
Your cover band will be started byspankystacey
Debut CD nameA Christmas Special
Your next tour isJanuary 26, 2007
Opening bandPearl Jam
You sound like a mix betweenPink Floyd
Band quirkYour CDs cause cancer
Typical band clicheYou collaborate with Trent Reznor
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Wow. Definately the best band ever.

That's what I got Alysson for a present.

TodaY I ate:
chicken spaghetti stuff.

I went to bed far too late last night but I had a nice conversation with Wayne so it was worth it as always.
My brother comes into my room at 7:32am and tells me our cat Max brought a mouse into the house. It was dead so it wasn't running around the house but I had to pick it up.
It took my about 4 minutes to get out of bed, then I go into the hall and there is this little mouse corpse.
I jump over it and go into the kitchen and I get the dust pan and a soup laddle to pick this thing up. I couldn't use to tongs. I was afraid how it would feel when I picked it up. (Turns out the poor thing was a stiff as a board).
It took my ahwile to have the nerve to scoop it onto the dust pan, I wanted to cry cause it was so sad. My baby kitten killing this grown up mouse. But it means he loves us so that's fine.
So I take it outside and put it under the tree by our back door. I wanted to bury it really but it was 7:30 in the morning, raining and and I was in really little bower shorts and my bra.

Later in the afternoon it's 1:30 and Jake and I are getting ready to leave for the library I walk into the kitchen ans scream cause there is the excat same mouse and there is max sitting a foot away from it looking at me as if to say "why don't you like it?".
This time Jake picked it up and we put it in the bushes. Hopefully he doesn't bring it back in.

Today I made a birthday card for my sister who is turning 4 on Friday. Holy shit....four. That just kind of hit me. When Jake and I went to the library I sent it out to BC along with pictures and stuff for my dad.
I can't wait to go out there.

The Team needs to go on an adventure before we divide and conquer.

I'm going to think seriously about her sugestion and my thoughts and his.
I miss Wayne all the time.

RANDOM LOGO TIME>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

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[10 Jul 2004|12:11am]
I have contact vulvitis!

Charmin Toilet paper is no good for my vagina. No m'am.
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[20 Jun 2004|10:54pm]
[ mood | peaceful ]

Shed a tear 'cause I'm missin' you
I'm still alright to smile
Girl, I think about you every day now
Was a time when I wasn't sure
But you set my mind at ease
There is no doubt
You're in my heart now

Said, woman, take it slow
It'll work itself out fine
All we need is just a little patience
Said, sugar, make it slow
And we come together fine
All we need is just a little patience
Mm, yeah

I sit here on the stairs
'Cause I'd rather be alone
If I can't have you right now
I'll wait, dear
Sometimes I get so tense
But I can't speed up the time
But you know, love
There's one more thing to consider

Said, woman, take it slow
And things will be just fine
You and I'll just use a little patience
Said, sugar, take the time
'Cause the lights are shining bright
You and I've got what it takes
To make it, We won't fake it,
I'll never break it
'cause I can't take it

Today I ate:
brunch buffet (aka far too much of everything)

msn-It'll work itself out fine.

I slept terrible last night due to my allergies, tossing and turning and just thinking about Wayne.

I got up and got ready for Jake's swimming lessons. I took some pictures there and it turns out NEXT weekend is his last lesson, not this one, which is fine. He is getting really good at swimming.
Afterwards we went to Kelsey's for their Father's Day buffet. I ate about 5 strawberry pancakes and ten punds of everything else. I love how we went without a father.
Jake's class didn';t make anything for Father's Day in the class. But they made 80 things for Mother's Day. A lot of parents depend and look forward to home(school)made gifts, and there are a lot more just Dad homes these days. I was kind of sad about that. Not that Scott deserves anything from Jake.
Mind you he has been spending a fair bit more time with Jake lately. A few hours one day a week. It may not sound like a lot, but it's a huge step from Scott.

I tried calling my dad but there was no answer so I left a message on the machine. I'll try again tomorrow.

Anyway, after brunch we went to Wal-Mart to get a few things, and I bought Guns N Roses Greatest Hits for $15.80 which I considered a deal. I have been listeing to "Patience"(see above) since I got home from Trenton and Kevins.

I was supposed to go to Kevin's around 6:30 but them came and picked me up around 3:30. We had dinner and watched Queer Eye For The Staright Guy. Kevin had to work around 5. Our Summer Solsitice ceremony began around 7. My old Grade 7-8 French Teacher came which I really loved. She was great and I loved having her there.
It was a small thing this time compared to Beltane where there were many women. This was Jo, me, Jane, Pauline (Ms Jones), Sarah and Diane. Angela got a job so she couldn't come,(I'm very proud of you dear. Congradulations).
We smudged, and drummed, and burned away all we wanted gone and wished for better things. We walked the Labrinyth which I actually did get answers from. It took us awhile to build the thing but it was a joy walking in.

After attending these two ceremonies I would consider myself more spiritual. Certainly not more religious, just more aware of myself and how emotional I actually am. I cannot wait until Lammas (sp), if I am invited.

Hatred and Anger
Lying by Omission
Confusion and Doubt



I dyed my hair when I got home from Trenton, and mum thought it was going to look terrible cause there wan't quite enough dye but I love it. But my scalp is still red and I look like I have a diease but that too will pass.
I am a very beautiful women.

I spoke to Wayne for a few minutes tonight. I did not want to talk about the problem until I see him tomorrow, so it was short and sweet. Re-assuring.

The worst is over.

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[12 Apr 2004|12:23am]
Today I ate:
far too much chocolate
more chocolate
cream soda

msn-a picture is worth a thousand words but not worth the words I need to hear I miss you so much it hurts

This year for easter I asked my mum for full body moisturiser and underwear. She got me the following:
hand cream
a hat like Dan Daytons except imatation leather
wife beaters
photo album
a spin brush for dishes (I am the dish washer, mums joke every year to get my a new sponge or something)
Honkin On Bobo-Aerosmith
The Rocky Horror Picture Show on DVD
SPIN magazine (my subscription still has not come in)
5 chap sticks
5 things of tic tacs
a belt
ten tons of candy
biore facial cleanser wipes

I am sure I am forgetting domething but holy hell...I couldn't believe it. I was a happy girl this morning!! ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW DVD? yeeeeeeeeeeeeees

Jake was up at 7am and din't wake me up til 9am, which was kind of early for me but alright. He didn't even pick up eggs yet, he waited til I was up. Most kids would be insane and they'd all be found.
I was up last night hiding all 56 eggs around our living room, came to the point where I was just thrwoing them on the floor cause there wa sno other places to put them.

easter rocks.

I actually did some good quality work on my research project today, and I am proud. I have a lot more work to do tomorrow, but I'l worry about it then.

I am weaing my fake dan dayton hat and it's fucking hot on me if I do say so myself. I need some pins for it though...cannot take them from my belt.

This album is so great.

Yesterday was our family dinner, which really wasnt a dinner, more of a hodge podge lunch. They had the easter egg hunt for my little cousins. My grandma got me an easter present which was a chocolate bunny and a red t-shirt that fits like paradaise.

Mark was there. yep.

Before that was the easter egg hunt at Nestle where mum works and I handed out cup cakes and juice to kids I don't know. We were not there long so it wasn't too bad.

I love my brothers cat. He's my hero even though he added three more scrtches to my wrist the other day. It looks cool.

I want to learn how to drive asap.

Arrive Alive my alcoholic friends.

Stacey and I are going to buy a cow. And I am never eatng mashed potatoes or ham again becuase it makes me sick. I will also seldom cook them in my home when I leave this silly place. In fact the potatoe in general is my enemy. They are a big reason why I have the thighs I do now. I don't realy like mashed potates small portions rather far apart. I hate potatoe salad. I hate scalped potatoes. I want to throw up thinking about scalped potatoes. I like the chipped kind but even they are my enemy that tastes so so good. Bastards.

I have my entire lifed planned out. Now it just has to happen. Like on my 40th birthday I will begin to buy one red rose on Tuesday and a white one of Friday. On Wednesday I will buy a lottery ticket. Scratch.
Like I said to Stacey tonight, I will buy groceries by the day or week not by the month. I will shop at the smallest business' I kind find. Fruit Fruit Fruit. That's what I will eat. But when you were raised on one habit, it's hard to break it.

And I will be too poor to do these things.

Okay, maybe not my whole life...but certain things.
Will I live to 40? Ha. We'll see.

I just do not want to end up like those K-Mart shopping mother who stil have their pregnacy weight on and are wearing sweat suits from twenty years ago and their mothers hand me downs cause they just don't care. I don't want to be like that.


fuck. It's easier to just die.
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[30 Mar 2004|10:28pm]
[ mood | content ]

i287 so51 i'm31
the227 me48 know31
to201 we47 like29
and168 be45 up28
a118 with43 today28
you110 your42 out28
it96 all41 on28
of87 do40 had25
is77 this40 they24
in74 what39 at24
that73 are39 one23
my66 am37 about23
was63 not36 love23
for61 just34 want23
but57 she31 there22
have55 he31 don't22
LJ Word Count (Beta!) by hutta

I have said LOVE more then THAT!

Today I ate:(far too much)
half a bagel

msn-waking up for breakfast burning matches talking quickly loading garbage drinking sodas looking happy taking pictures so stupid

On Friday 25 kids were signed up for 30 Hour Famine. Guess how many are signed up now? 82. I never ever thought it would come to that, but it's still awesome. I am baking brownies on Thrusday night for the 'banquet' they are eating before the famine starts.

When I realised in February that the grade 12 ents weren't going to be doing too much, I told mr Lockyer I wanted to do a talent show and I wanted it to be my venture. There is going to be a Talent show. And it is my venture (in part), but it's NOTHING like I wanted it, of course.
It's going to be on April 29th, at the 7pm-10pm. Fuck. I wanted it to be a buy-out duuring 3rd and 4th just for the sudents but no lets ruin everything. I talked to the fashion show team and tried to convince them to have a nghttime show and give us the buy out (ms beck says we're only allowed to have two buy outs a semester). But they baiscally said "fuck you" cause they are doing a buy out AND a night time show, so we're fucked and they won't budge.
And I think it's bullshit about the two buyout a semester rule cause last semester the only buyout there was was the Rock show. The Chris MacKay show didnt count cause it was only for 3rd. The hockey game was really early in the semester and the fashion show is an ass, so we're stuck with a shitty night.
I am sure it's going to fine anyway, but we want to get 350 people in the gym at 7pm at night for 5$ a person. On a Thursday. shoot me in the head.

Today me. Stacey and Lee are sitting in the library at a table and I look over at Katie Gootsman and she's holding a poster from the show on saturday. and I commented on it and she said:
"oh are you guys going"
and we were like.."man it was last weekend...and it was cool and I organized it blah blah".
Then I cannot remember the next few sentences but out of nowhere she starts bshing Unsolicited like crazy.
"UGH! I saw them and I didn't like them at all"
and she went on. "You like them?"
"I'm going out with the guitarist"
and Stacey defended them to the death and was telling her why she liked them and etc.
Turns out she saw them about a year ago and just didn't like them enough to ever go back. Okay they've improved a million times since then and shut up. poopy head.

Stacey and I, best fans ever.

I hate it when people talk to me and I don't want them to but they don't get the point like Lucas Hall, or Greg Stringer, or Ryan Booth, or Jason Armstrong. But Jason knows I don't want him there...he's just an idiot.

Jo and I skipped 2nd today and went to Tim Hortons, and sat at our bench and discovered the wonderfulness of Stedmans.

I am very happy for stuent teacher Jen. I promise that's not your new title dear haha. The gift in your wallet is a very good sign indeed.

Vote Liberal, NDP this election because if the Conservatives win I'm moving to Japan. If they win we're going to Iraq and I'll have to pull out the peace sign picket again.
But since I should be supporting my party VOTE GREEN YOU!

British kid Adam and I have a conversation about The Darkness everyday and it's awesome.

I love my breasts.

I like the people in my fourth period class. I love Zach Billard, he's one of the coolest people I know, and I have come to really like Mackenzie Best, I had her wrong. Scott Keer, Tiffany Struthers, Stacey, Angela, Lee, Renee, and Lucy. Too cool people.

It overwhelmes me how much in love I actually am. Just wow.
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[14 Mar 2004|11:29pm]
Did anyone go to the Dayglo Abortions show on Saturday?
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[08 Mar 2004|10:55pm]
Today I ate:
root beer
pasta shit

msn-I'll make everyone pay and you will too

I am on a Marilyn Manson kick right now. He's fucking sex.

I knew it would drive me crazy. I knew it. I'm going to do it for a living YES.

Here are the confirmed bands and other info for the show.


7PM, $7

Will it be at Muddy Waters? Fuck if I know. They don't like calling back when they say they will. I need to find out from them tomorrow. The meeting with Tracey and Avia seemed to seal the deal. I call today after not getting the 'confirmation' call, and I talk to "Sharon" and she tells me she hasn't looked over the event yet so someone will call me after 4:30. I didn't get a call. I'm calling tomorrow, or walking down there, whatever. Jesus. I hope to fuck they give us the venue.

I was thinking for a minute to just have 3 bands, they would get more money that way, but that's fine.
I am saving my pennies for a float at the begiining of the night. So like, I said, I'm take your quaters.

I am presenting my slide show tomorrow, should be interesting and shitty. My sound clip of the murder squad song isnt working anymore.

second was bullshit. I used all the trapped white space I could.

my spare was alright. greg stringer decided to annoy me by just sitting there. I called the 30 hour famine place and it turns out they never recieved my order for the sponsor sheets and they're sending it to me asap.

4th was pointless also. Ms Markle taught us nothing and gave us questions, and the answers were written out plain as day at the bottom of the article. I want to kill myself all the time in that class.

mum came home in a bitch for some reason but got over it eventually.

So empty.

"I was born into this everything turns to shit"
-Marilyn Manson

I have trouble understanding the human race. I have trouble understanding the human mind. I am sure I am going to sound extremely stupid, or close minded but I cannot understand how someone could have a passion for cars and not music. I don't understand how someone could just not have a profound love for music. How can one relate to a muffler?
I don't understand how one could not see how beautiful John Lennon, or Jack White, or Conor Oberst, or Aaron Lewis, or David Pirner, or Marilyn Manson, or...I just understand how they can't feel that.
I don't understand how people cannot get anything out of punk music. I don't know how they function without that profound energy of just fucking taking the piss out of you through hard music.
I don't understand how one could love rap music. I don't understand how people are fullfilled by having dispoisble "only-last-for-3-months" radio play. You cannot connect emotionally with a song that is renewed by different one hit wonders who sing about partying in a club of slappng up their bitch, or H to the izzo. HOW?
It just doesn't make sense.
But if everyone was like me, I'd kill myself, and everyone would die.
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[24 Feb 2004|10:15pm]
I keep this journal for one reason and one reason only. cunt_conscious.
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[23 Feb 2004|11:40pm]
crystal heart
Heart of Crystal

What is Your Heart REALLY Made of?
brought to you by Quizilla
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[22 Feb 2004|11:04pm]
[ mood | busy ]

Since there as been a couple free sample entires I wonder if there are any others some of you may know? Just off the top of your head. I know Durex doesn't any more.
There is a KY sample for Canadians too,...that was the American link in the last entry.

htttp:// for americans.

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[19 Feb 2004|10:16pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Today I ate:
orange juice
piece of a piece of cake
fries, chicken fingers
frozen yogurt

msn-I want to lick johnny depp

I hate my fourth period class.

I hate having to explain myself, all the time. I hate not having a concrete answer to anything so I sit there thinking I am doing every worng. I hate working with ms markle in the library. I hate having to research old social scientists, that didn``t have any concrete influence. I hate having to site everything to a core. I hate having to make a two page slide show. What the fuck is the point of thatÉ And having to use power point. I am using corel and if they don``t like that they can friggin eat me. I hate hate hate that class.

I went to Wayne``s house today opposed to the Hockey game that took up most of the school day. I stand by my decsion cause it was extremly worth it. I am supposed to be seeing him tomorrow night, well off the school bus to whenever I could get shipped off home by an unknown method. But now the radio and TV are freaking out about the weather which s making mum freaked out about thw weather. The buses may be cancelled tomorrow. If they are no Wayne. Fuck. I do not like weather and I do not like....stuff.

Why people even talk to me I``ll never know.

My keyboard it fucked and I don``t know how to fix it. É that is supposed to be a question mark. Maybe it shows up fine on your screen..but not mine.

whoa..I just looked to my right and there is a spider wed from my computer chair, to my record player...and there is a big spider just sitting there. That``s awesome. There is about half a meter between my chair and vinyl outputter.

I cannot skip fourth anymore. Despite my utmost hatred for it.

I want to dye my hair again. right now. Then cut it.

Arrive Alive guys.

I could cut my hair all by myself right now, but my mother would shoot me.

I am going to be 18. In october. And I worry about ``my mother`` freaking out over my hair. I am going to be 18. In october. And I still have to ask to go places. I hate my life. I hate where it is. I hate where it is going. I hate where it has been.
Thats. Not nessicarliy. True. But I am so. Full of. Anger.

I am Jack`s resentment.

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