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Swing Swing - All American Rejects |
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Ok, life sucks. It's so confusing. In some ways I just can't wait for school to end because, I want summer to come and have fun with all my friends and stuff ya know? But then I think about all my senior friends, which I know isn't a lot but it's enough that there are some, and I get all upset because, they aren't going to be at school next year! It's so hard to believe that next year when I go to school I won't be able to leave third hour and see Ryan and Nathan or when I go to lunch on Tuesday and Wednesday that I won't be able to see Eric. But, at least we have the phone and the internet because without that I'd be soooo unbelievably sad! I mean Eric isn't moving away, he says he wants to move back to Cali but I don't think he will, but then again who knows. But Nathan is going to U of A and Ryan is going to GCC for a year and then off to U of A. Dammit why can't I be their age or they can be my age? And why do I make friends with people who are older then me???? WHY DAMMIT!! lol Oh well, like I always say 'life goes on'. On to better things...
I don't know what I am going to do about my situation with that one guy. Most of my friends know who he is but for those who don't, let me explain. He's a really great guy that I met online when I first moved here because I wanted to make friends with people at my school so I wasn't a loner. That's how I met most of my senior friends, because I didn't know they were seniors and I IMed them and they ended up being seniors and ya know what? Unlike in Cali, seniors are nice and they talk to us lowly freshmen! So, I met him online, I know it sounds lame but I don't care. Anyways, I was going to hook him up with one of my friends earlier this year because she had said she wanted a perverted boyfriend and trust me, he's a pervert alright. Well, not so much a pervert, just in touch with his sexuality I suppose you could say. hehe So anyways, I was going to hook them up because she was only 14 and he's 17 and he said he didn't want to date someone that young, even tho she was turning 15 in I think it was like two weeks. I don't know, he's really sexy, none of my friends agree and when I first saw him I didn't think he was that hot. I still don't think he is the hottest man alive, but ya know what? All that doesn't matter to me, because to me he is super sexy and it just doesn't matter to me what my friends think. Well, it does matter what they think, but, not what they think of how he looks. And I suppose the only reason I think he is so sexy is because physical attraction IS a big factor in liking someone or being in a relationship. I don't care what people say that it's "only about the personality" because, ya personality matters to me, but, if you'll also think they are sexy. Anyways, he does a sport for my school, what sport that is I won't reveal, if you know me well enough you know what sport that is.
So, I don't know what to do about him. He's going to be moving two hours away next year for college and he was telling me how he went to visit the college he's going to because he's going to sign for a sports team (that one I won't name). So, he's saying how he got this awesome apartment in this city two hours away and he's like "You have to come see it". Now, let me explain something, he's a virgin (shhh!! I didn't tell you that) and he's ashamed of it and we were supposed to hook up but, I'm always afraid that I'm going to end up getting pregnant. If I got pregnant that would be the biggest disappointment for my mom and I would be so upset with myself. Well, I'm trying to think of a way to tell my mom I want to get birth control pills, I know all I have to say is it's because of my cramps but I'm worried my mom will thinks there is some underlying reason ya know? I promised my mom that I'd tell her when I thought I was going to be having sex with a boy so that she would get me birth control pills. It's not like I'd be having sex with this guy every damn day, well I mean maybe, but, oh hell I don't know. Some of my friends think he likes me but, I don't know. One of his friends always IMs me saying he loves me, not the friend, but saying the guy I like loves me. I don't know if this friend, his name's Anthony, knows that I like his friend, he knows we are supposed to hook up. We were going to hook up the night of the Sadie Hawkins dance, I was going to go and he was going to come pick me up and we were going to *coughcough*. But....first of all, I thought I was going to be on my period, which I was, but, then I also liked this guy Dereck. I thought we were going to get together because he apparently said he liked me, whatever tho. I don't really know what is going on with him anymore. Well, I'm outtie, laters!!
~*Cheley*~
P.S. If you have any ideas on what's going on with this guy that I like, let me know!!! Thanks...
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exhausted
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