coming soon

27 Jun 2003 - 11:41
mood  ::  busy
music  ::  The Ataris :: In this Diary

I have moved to and Iam under the same username. iam also extremely lazy and dont want to link it. So just check out Megg_ on

kiss me

Herr 26 Jun 2003 - 13:47
mood  ::  amused
music  ::  So Sally Can Wait :: Oasis

Yeah I just got set up on a date with someone. I think his name is Kieran?

Haha I hope he doesnt run the moment he see's me, my looks arent exactly charming. God, I hate being nervous like this.

4 kisses :: kiss me

26 Jun 2003 - 12:22
mood  ::  tired
music  ::  The Ataris :: Boys of summer

So things have pretty much been the same old. Im a little tired and weary of everyone right now.

Im tired, I suppose and I think that Im beginning to break from all the drama people love to spew around. Its about time I just settled down and kept out of it all. I think I have been doing a pretty good job, though. I havent really met any new people and I dont have great things to talk about. Im just tired and ready to take a nap.

1 kiss :: kiss me

24 Jun 2003 - 12:42
mood  ::  angry

Okay okay! Me and Gina didnt have sex and we havent had a longing to be lesbian lovers.

Way to go for me not knowing how to spell.

-Sighs dramatically.-


346 kisses :: kiss me

Yeah 24 Jun 2003 - 10:26
mood  ::  pleased
music  ::  Sexual healing

So...hooked up with Gina last night.

God she and I both knew we couldnt keep our hands off of eachother for much longer. I know its not much time before anyone finds out. I might as well let the secret slip. One minute we werejust sitting there and talking about school or whatnot, th enext we were on the floor dry humping eachother like there was no tomorrow.

...It was the best night of my life.



7 kisses :: kiss me

Come away with me. 24 Jun 2003 - 09:48
mood  ::  bored

Mm I need to get out.

I need a boyfriend.



Okay maybe.




Eh go away.

No dont actually I was just being stupid.

3 kisses :: kiss me

No more. 22 Jun 2003 - 15:14
mood  ::  cold
music  ::  Eleanor Rigby :: Beatles.

The pain was so sudden and piercing that it brought tears to the rims of my eyelids. Now all I can do is lay on the floor of this room, curled up beside the wall and hold my stomache until the pain passes. If it ever will. Slowly and surely I will suffocate inside this mind of my own with the thoughts no one can touch wondering if and when I will ever realize what my worth is to other people. There is no more of me than what I allow others to see and whether I can accept that or not will be my choosing. Hate is no longer a strong enough word to describe my feeling.

3 kisses :: kiss me

Hmm. 22 Jun 2003 - 00:16
mood  ::  amused
music  ::  U.S. of Whatever :: Liam Lynch

-Slowly begins to pack her clothes into a bag not sure to whether she should be or not. She laughs a little as she shakes her head thinking.- If hes joking around Im going to crack up. Then Im gonna feel stupid. -Checks everything in her head mentally that she forgot and walks over to her desk to get other things she needs.- If hes lying that bitch owes me a slushy with a brain freezer straw. -Goes over the past days conversations in her head and thinks of what shes leaving for a short time, while sitting on her bag to close it- Hm wont be missing much more than some bullshit repitition. -Clears her throat as she zippers the bag and stands up looking around the room and searching in her back pockets for her wallet and keys.- Six o'clock, six o'clock. I hope its PM cause hes not going to be a happy camper if he has to come wake me up. -Laughs a bit to herself, shaking her head and putting her bag on the floor before changing into her pajamas and crawling into bed.-

4 kisses :: kiss me

21 Jun 2003 - 14:27
mood  ::  tired

Keri asked me who my dream man was and if I had one.

Well, no I dont have one.

I dont want a dream man.

I just want someone who is decent, doesnt lie, who doesnt keep things from me and never takes back their word.

No looks. No confusion. Its quite simple. No bullshit.

Especially no lies.

S'not much. But no one seems to want to fill any of it.

Thats okay with me because Im willing to look forever.

There is no such thing as a dream man. Dreams are so temporary and you can be woken from them.

kiss me

Where gonna party like its 1999 19 Jun 2003 - 22:22
mood  ::  annoyed
music  ::  Beat It :: Michael Jackson

Mm mm Mm

that sweet smell of rejection.

I hung out with Jeremy, Keri, Gina, Brad, Keri, Brads Kitten, and that new girl Katie today. Cool people.

I need to learn to keep my mouth shut and my feelings bottled up from now on. I also have to learn that Im all looks and no brains so if you want a smart chick, dont come knocking on my dorm door. But if you want a flirty, stupid, air head, who wants nothing but to be disrespected, then by all means the door is open.

Iam so tired of this bullshit. Im so tired of everything and everyone. Im tired of patience and unhappiness. Im tired of guys who only want an easy fuck hitting on me. Im tired of it all. Im tired of opening my mouth when I shouldnt. Of hoping I can find someone decent, when I need to realize that I never will. And even if I do, Im not half as smart or funny as some of the girls (or guys) on campus and I will never have what I want.

What I need more or less.

So go ahead. Everyone. Tear me apart. Im wide open for abusive relationships.

8 kisses :: kiss me

Get even with my memory. 18 Jun 2003 - 07:46
mood  ::  calm
music  ::  Stacey Orricio :: Stuck

Mkay Im really tired still from staying up late last night since I have had trouble sleeping the past few days. Im not really sure as to why, but Iam. I spoke to Jeremy yesterday, which was sort of relieving being that he has a brain...and is concious to the world around him rather than 50% of the student population. Well, I dont know, but it was nice holding a decent conversation. I tried to help him out with his little crisis going on and see whether I can offer any suggestions or opinions. And I did. Im just not sure as to whether things will go smoothly with him and his g/f or not. Well, its really none of my buisness so Ill but out. Im sure he'll make the right decision.

Uhm well aside from that, we had our fist meeting of the SDWAG club. Hehe it didnt end on a happy note, but Im sure the next one will be better. I wish the best for Gina and I hope everything turns (or turned) out alright for her.

I think this is my post... see you all around.

2 kisses :: kiss me

17 Jun 2003 - 20:31
mood  ::  annoyed
music  ::  Drawing Board :: Mest

Im tired of feeling sorry for myself and especially everyone else in Dover who seems to think their life is one living hell.

Its not. My life isnt and yours isnt either.

So shut up.

kiss me

I was just a stupid kid back then. 16 Jun 2003 - 10:04
mood  ::  contemplative
music  ::  Stupid Kid :: Alkaline Trio

Half of these posts seriously make me crack up and uncrontrollably laugh. With the exception of Josh's post about his dad. Iam so sorry for him. I wish I could somehow protect him from having to feel any hurt from that. I know I cant, but Ill stand by him until he is better.

So, today is Fathers Day and I usually feel shitty all day today and I expect the rest of the student population will. Should I explain why? No, look at everyones journals and its self explanatory. Im tired and I dont really know where Ill be today. Im not sure what Ill be doing either. Im probably going to walk around and think alot about everything today. I suppose its best to acknowledge that my father is no longer with me and that Im happy for the years he did give me, but I think Ill be more or less comparing everything right now to the situation without him... Im rambling on again. Its hard to explain the way I work to people.

Im gonna go now.

1 kiss :: kiss me

Hm. 15 Jun 2003 - 11:47
mood  ::  annoyed
music  ::  Yesterday .-. Beatles

Well nothing interesting has been happening in my life. I think Im finally at my lowest point. Ha, I hope your all happy and enjoying yourselves. I dont really think I can get worse than this so Ill just sit here in my little hole and hope that someone can come pull me out because, quite frankly, I really dont think I can help myself anymore.

Sometimes this school just pisses me off. Everyone always seems to be buzzing in their own little worlds and stories without taking notice to anyone else. Not that all of you should, but still, its sorta sad.

I guess this is my post. How I love to talk about myself...

15 kisses :: kiss me

I already know. 12 Jun 2003 - 15:03
mood  ::  flirty
music  ::  Greenday :: She

Erm days seem to be the same. Nothings really changing. I get to see Josh often, its just the conversation always seems to die. I dont know really where our relationship stands. Its wierd. Its almost like, were friends, but more like cuddle buddies. I dunno. Its not like its a problem or anything. Really, I dont mind being cuddled by someone because sometimes I can lonely.

I need to get out and go meet more people, though. Maybe Ill try to be social towards new kids, maybe not. Maybe Ill just sit inside my dorm and slowly progress into fat bastards clone.

Bleh. Insecure? Yes... Shut up maybe I like being this way. or not

3 kisses :: kiss me

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