late nights   
11:17pm 17/05/2005
  I am like a little kid when it comes to sleeping. For some reason or another I fight it. I can barely be able to hold my eyes open and I will find something else that I need to do. For instance, tonight I took two Tylenol PMs with the hopes of going to sleep early, but now I am watching reruns of 'Sex and the City' OnDemand and typing on the computer. My husband is in the other room...upset with me because I am with him...so I think he is playing the same "I'm not Sleepy" game that I am. We really aren't mad at each other, just a misunderstanding I guess. Does it really matter? I had a good, long day at work. No rehearsal today, not till Thursday and Friday. I am in a local theatre show called "Dearly Departed" and very excited about it. I am the youngest person in the show, so I feel a little off at times, but I think things will go better once we get further into the show. I'm not used to being there so seldom (only on in ACT 2) so I don't get to bond with the cast as much as others. It's a very fun part. Another trailer part....I just finished a show called "Trailer Trash VS The Monster of Booger Creek." A couple of my friends wrote the scripts, it is the third installment and very funny. So, if ever one day you see it on Broadway, please go and see it. You will thank me! I'm sure you can tell from my writing that I love punctuation, especially commas. I have another long day ahead of me tomorrow, so I guess I should say 'Goodnight to all'.  
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First time user   
11:15pm 16/05/2005
  I hope that this journal will help me to understand myself...I'm at a point in my life where I feel very lost and confused. I think it's becuase I am at that point where I am considered an adult and feel there are so many life choices that I need to make and I don't know what I want. I know one thing for sure...I want to act. That is what makes me happy. I am a very private person. I feel like when things are hard I need to be the person who needs to be strong and dependable to help others through. But I am just breaking apart on the inside. Maybe it's just hormones. Maybe I'm just adjusting to growing up. Maybe, maybe, maybe. I have had some serious family issues lately, my cousin was murdered a year ago and we are now at the time of the trial. I was really strong for my family...I tried not to let my emotions show and now I think everything is catching up with me. My husband wants me to talk to him about these things, but I feel that when I do vent he doesn't really know how to react so it comes across as not caring. So I cry...by myself. I sound like .. like .. a very depressed person and if you only knew who I am in everyday life. I'm happy and in love with life. My favorite thing to do is everyday before I go into one of my rehearsals for a show, I drive around in this little suburban counrty town on the outskirts of DFW and listen to Dave Mathews or Country or my Blues Traveler (yes, I know it's old) cds really loud with the windows down. I probably look like a maniac singing and dancing along with my music. My husband wants to go to bed now (I'm writing in the bed on the laptop). So, I guess my first psych. session went well. I was able to vent. I hope that this will help me out or should I say level me out. I think that is why I love acting so much. I can be anyone freely...I don't have to hold back, and I can pull from myself...the anger at times, the love and passion that I have that I may not show, all of my emotions I can put into one person and just be free. I love that feeling! Good night to all. With love~Aphrodite  
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