kT.'s Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]

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[09 Sep 2003|06:51am]
I'm going to stop writing in this journal.. I guess
I'm going to keep writing in my livejournal though... I just made it private so my mom can't read it. Hahahah. I win?
Tell Me Lies.

[07 Sep 2003|10:47pm]
[ mood | quixotic ]
[ music | Methods Of Mayhem ]

this isn't fair...
I want to write in my journal... but I can't
MOM, your a whore. Stay out of my mind.

I feel like a jelly bean lost in the bunch.

2 Sweet Lies Tell Me Lies.

fuck this [04 Sep 2003|09:31pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

what the fuck

My mom read my journal and all my friends journals. Sam's mom told her not to tell me and all this other shit... Sam's mom is a insane bitch. I hope she read that too... because she reads everyones journals too. People are FUCKED UP. Now Where am I supposed to write my personal shit? This is Great.. now all my feelings get to stay inside and drive me insane. Fuck people. Don't can't trust anyone.


1 Sweet Lie Tell Me Lies.

Thoia Thoing... [03 Sep 2003|08:10pm]
[ mood | ...better ]
[ music | Smack my Bitch up. ]

I'm dumb...
I over react way too much..
but you already knew that,
didn't you?


Tell Me Lies.

Its a wicked world that we live in. [03 Sep 2003|04:34pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]
[ music | Linkin Park - Easier to Run ]

Life just got a lot worse.
Yesterday was my Birthday.. how fun.. I went over to Crystal's after school.. she peirced my lip.. I really liked it but when my mom saw it she freaked out, told me I was grounded until I took it out and then she called my dad and bitched to him. Now my mom is telling me to start packing my stuff so I can go live with my dad.

I just got off the phone with my dad.. he was bitching at me telling me I'm going to be a failure and I'm not going to graduate highschool and he was saying how I haven't cared abuot anything for the past 3 years. He like mad me cry because he said my mom doesn't want me anymore and neither does he.. I just want to run away.. I wish I was 18 so I could move out or something...

There isn't anything good to think about and make me feel better..
Is this all over yet...?

Tell Me Lies.

[01 Sep 2003|10:45pm]
[ mood | anxious ]
[ music | Rock the funky beats ]

I love him!!... I really wish I didn't. MAKE THIS FEELING GO AWAY!

5 Sweet Lies Tell Me Lies.

Armadilo? [01 Sep 2003|09:41pm]
[ mood | worried ]
[ music | Lil Jon - I Don't Give FucK ]

Woot for... alone time. mmm.. I did almost nothing all day. I love itttt.... Well, as long as I have something to keep me busy. This weekend was much fun.. I think? Well... if I can't remember it.. then it must have been fun. Oh god... tomorrow is my Birthday... I'm a big kidd now =] *does the chicken dance*

I'm like sad and pissed off and happy and a bunch of other queer moods all at once.. it's queer, really.

I don't want to go to school tomorrow. I hate waking up for school... I don't mind being there because most of the time I just sleep.. but it takes way too much effort to get up that early and make myself look half way decent. Hah, right. right? left? no... kitty pack, please? bone bone bone..... thugs?
aww shit.. i started a posh pit
Nigga what??
Goddamnit. I hate randomness...it's... too.. un.. understandable. Fuuuuucccckkkkkk.

Chicken Love.

Tell Me Lies.

Don't be... don't be asian.... [28 Aug 2003|09:55pm]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | ATB - Let You Go -RemiX- ]

I just got back from Scott's with Sam and Jesse.. it was.. much fun? Hah, I'm retarded... WTF is wrong with me... Oh.... I know....

School today was okay... I know what would make it a whole lot better... if I had some fucking drugs. mmm... it would make everything at least Seem so much better. I need more friends at school or something.. or maybe I should just go to the old High School.. at least there I would have my Dani... I miss her so much.. We were with eachother like everyday until school started.. this sucks.

Yeah... well... i like these two people that are very important to me... I bet you can't guess who they are... Yeah... but I have very strong feelings for them.. I just wish the feelings were mutual.. but who could love this.. I don't know why I bother with all this shit.. I know these feelings will go away someday.. but I can hardly live with them now.. I hate being like this.. I feel pathetic and.. ugh, I don't know.

I guess I should find some good things about my life too.. I have three great friends... (Sam, Dani, and Jesse)

I'm in highschool now... it's better than being with a bunch of imature peoples.... oh wait... =/

My mom and I are getting along good still... even after she found out I do drugs... I told her I stopped for the second time and that I'm not ever going to do them again.. but she still lets me go all the places I used to... so I can still do drugs...

My Birthday is in five days..

Umm... well.. I can't think of anymore.. that stuff doesnt make me so happy though... I know there are other things to be happy about.. but I can't think of them because all that I ever seem to think about it the bad stuff.. psh... what fun...

2 Sweet Lies Tell Me Lies.

First Day Back.. [26 Aug 2003|08:04pm]
[ mood | mellow ]
[ music | Linkin Park - Faint ]

School started today... it wasn't so bad though.. Highschool isn't too bad.. it's going to take some getting used to.. but I'll manage. I really wish that I was going to the old High School... I really wanted to go to school with Dani and Jesse.. my school is full of a bunch of preps.. it's not so happy... but Crystal is in my lunch... and that's about it. I don't know if that's a good thing though... Sam told me that Jessica and Crystal called me a bitch and said some other shit.. it made me really sad.. I started balling my eyes out.. I haven't cried for a long time.. or at least like that.. and in front of people.. but, I really don't like it when people don't like me or say shit about me when I care alot about them.. I mean, I don't mean to be a bitch... I just get irritated easily.. and sometimes I just lose control of my feelings... also I have a bad temper like my dad.. so... yeah...
The thing about the whole situation that confused me was that Crystal and Jessica kept saying that Sam was just lying.. and Jesse said that Sam was probably just trying to start a fight between Jessica, Crystal and I... but Sam said she would never lie to me.

Whatever. I tell the truth to my friends.. I pretty much never lie... unless I feel that I have a very good reason.. I wish that people would tell me the truth too.. but I guess you can't really trust anyone... I wish I had someone to trust..? eh... I think I'll just keep trying to stop talking to people about my problems... and stop telling people my "secrets".. I've been doing a good job with that.. except for when I started balling.

I think the only way to keep from letting the sadness get to me is to just block out my feelings.. dont talk about them... and do as many drugs as I can.. just so I can't think about shit and confuse myself.. or make things worse than they seem... also I need to stop smoking weed because it makes me think.. and then I get super sad.. hah.. go figure?

¿A Little Bit of Ecstacy?

2 Sweet Lies Tell Me Lies.

New JournalNess [23 Aug 2003|09:28pm]
[ mood | crappy ]
[ music | George Acosta ]

I got sick of my other journals.. so I made a new one.. Wahoo..

I'm very bored right now.. I'm waiting for that Jesse kid to get here.. if he even is coming...
grrr... at boringness..

I'm really not looking forward to school starting.. it's just going to make life more complicated...
I'm having a really hard time right now dealing with all this stuff thats been going on and all these confusing feelings I have...
I hate feelings ;(

Ok, I'm getting bored with this entry.. blahness...

Tell Me Lies.

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