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a beautiful thang

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[20 Jul 2004|02:51am]

i'm thinking about deleting my blurty and switching to live journal. i made one last night and im debating if i should keep the two or delete blurty...

1 His She unwanted charm*

[20 Jul 2004|02:44am]
[ mood | aggravated ]

i'm talking to the lovely anna on the phone...
matt called her last night, more than once!! yay she is happy about it which is good. cause we want everybody to be happy :)

i'm so sad. marcus is going to alpharetta ((teardrops))
even though i'm sad...

omg i can't stop the smiles

unwanted charm*

[20 Jul 2004|02:39am]
[ mood | aggravated ]

i'm talking to the lovely anna on the phone...
matt called her last night, more than once!! yay she is happy about it which is good. cause we want everybody to be happy :)
i'm so sad. marcus is going to alpharetta ((teardrops))

omg i can't stop the smiles

unwanted charm*

[20 Jul 2004|12:16am]
[ mood | restless ]

today is the day. well, i hope that today is the day. if we don't talk today,i have every right to be just a little confused and pissed off. don't you think?...yeah so anybody who knows me knows that i am getting very unpatient.grrrr...teehee even though i am getting very unpatient i can't stop the smiles :)

unwanted charm*

[19 Jul 2004|04:18pm]
i'll never forget the look in his eyes and the expression on his face. when i close my eye's i can still see him sitting across from me with his blue beany and his straight pretty brown hair coming out from the sides. his face was so bright; and it was all because of me <3

AR all i can say is YES
unwanted charm*

[19 Jul 2004|02:58pm]

tasha is gonna kill me once she finds out...
teehee i got him, yea lil ole me...

unwanted charm*

[19 Jul 2004|02:54pm]
if someone is asking you to be their gf why havent they called you in two days?
here is what my online shrink told me....

SugarySpoon: haha cause hes a boy. idk even if you care a lot about someone doesnt mean you arent busy with other things. hes probably thinking about you and just hasnt gotten to the phone. or maybe hes not sure what to say yet. i'm not sure why he hasnt call but i do know its nothing to worry about.

boys are so w e i r d. alex says i'm w e i r d...nopes, he's the w e i r d one...
unwanted charm*

[19 Jul 2004|07:29am]
squishy i am so bored...
unwanted charm*

[19 Jul 2004|05:00am]
i started smoking cigs again. i stoped for a whole month. i'm proud of that but disapointed in the fact that i started up again. but w/e i'm not smoking like a pack a day so thats the good side of it. i'm not gonna smoke weed no more. there is no point. i'm thinking about just drinking but that could end badly as well. bleh i dont know.

and alex needs to get home from painting the little people. cause i wanna watch finding nemo. teehee i love that movie. and its great cause all his fish in his fish tank are mostly from that movie. they're so cute.
...funny how my mom has to tell me what he's doing today lol she knew before i did. i'm so lame. i guess that all the guys are going over there so i'm going tonight or so she says.

so yeah i'm bored as a motha and i have nothing to do.... :(
unwanted charm*

[19 Jul 2004|04:21am]

i shall call him squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my squishy

AR... i say YES

unwanted charm*

[18 Jul 2004|03:49pm]
SugarySpoon: hmm thats true i should have expected that. might not work out? why wouldnt it if you both like each other and you can hold a friendship why cant you make things work
SugarySpoon: if you really want to be together you can
SugarySpoon: (o jeez i shouldnt say taht cause i didnt take my own advice)
liTTlewOn429: i know lol but its okay nobody ever takes there own advice
SugarySpoon: well i'll be honest with you. i dont think you should go on lust. i think you should go for something that you know you could spend a while with even if you dont plan to. someone that you felt for that wasnt just randomly there one recent moment because that could change again. but in all honesty you'll never know which is the best choice because there is no way to tell . you just have to ask yourself. who am i willing to chance this on?
SugarySpoon: bleh but i better go my moms yelling. maybe i'll get to talk to you tomorrow. goodluck sweetie. stay true to your heart and thanks for everything <3

thats all i needed to hear from her tonight.

unwanted charm*

[18 Jul 2004|10:16am]
holy motha... so i was thinking about what my horoschope had said awhile back...
*make promises on august 26th....which is monday*, my answer to aflex(alex) is sorta a promise so it fits. anyways...it talks about making decisions and what not well it is really true just i thought at the time it was about something else. but now i have realized it might be about something new...
unwanted charm*

[18 Jul 2004|09:37am]
[ mood | productive ]
[ music | LaLa ASHLEE SIMPSON ]

no need to tell type what was said btwn the two of us. but it was all good in the end so thats cool. kevy says not to ever think that what i say or think is stupid. coz it never is. thanks honey. *teardrops*...it stoped raining. oh well....
...went to alex's house last night. first time in a month that i picked up a cancer stick. now i can't stop. but thats okay i'm proud of that and i never took a hit of that weeed. ahhhhhhh it was tempting but i didn't do it. my mommy would be so so proud :). anyways it was so cool to chill with alex. we hadn't seen each other since school got out. his bro is cool and their friends are pretty chill. *drunks should never play ping pong*... alex was so fucking trashed and he hardly did shit. hahaha oh well it was cute when he passed out.
**espin and alex in the bathroom...whale noises and soap everywhere...WHAT YOU TWO DOING.
^thats all i remember......
oh well it was pretty chill i was the only gurl with like 15 guys. teehee...

to my lin, i love you sweetie and no matter what you will be okay I PROMISE. smile corneilya sweetie :)

umm okay i have till monday to give alex an answer. by then i should know. i want to tell him the answer now but i don't think that it would be cool to say now. hmmm i don't know. i'm confused...

440 is on tonight *smiles* :) ahhh i love that show. its scary teehee
MUST GO BUY ASHLEE SIMPSONS CD....courtney P. she made a song called "La La"...i'm a special lil pimp baby now. teehee

today is devins birthday. i wish he would leave me alone. i really do. and i wish frizbee's mom would stop making the situation seem like he's changed and that he don't care and that he is better. cause newsflash he ain't any better than he was when he got there. **holy shit he'll be back at mhs. meaning if ALEX....yaya this shall be perfect teehee cause graham knows frizbee. teehee this shall be nice...

unwanted charm*

[16 Jul 2004|07:18am]
[ mood | curious ]

thank you LINDSEY for letting me listen to your TV. i got your back the next time your volume on your Tv breaks. LOVE YOU BABY!...(teardrops) General Hospital was so sad today!

unwanted charm*

[16 Jul 2004|03:53am]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | ashlee simpson ]

ahhhh i wanted to chill wit alex today oh well i guess there is always tonight or this weekend....(tear drops)

i really miss nick. i don't know why i just really do and it's sad cause i never got to say "TaTa" and never got to tell him what a great friend i thought he was to me. devin don't have the flordia #. he wouldn't give it to me anyway. devin gets jealous over everything! and its like why? I"M NOT UR FUCKIN GIRLFRIEND! hmm maybe la qaun knows. i know miss christy knows but i can't ask her not yet at least. oh well i guess i'll go a few more days without talking to sandel boy....(tear drops)

one more week till my trip to durham *she smiles*

i want to get fucked up so bad :(

unwanted charm*

thinking.... [15 Jul 2004|08:45am]
[ mood | tired ]

today is miss brittany's birthday /....

must put in the positive cd and take out the negative one....*just something the shrink taught me*
anyways...i'm just gonna reflect on some things...

john left for iraq on tuesday. that is totally sad. he's gone till october. comes home for 4 days and then goes for two years. he gets one fucking phone call every christmas. what the fuck is wrong with that fucking picture. and my poor anrew by the time john comes home anrew will be 19. he wont even get to see him graduate...tear drop. i dont know i just think that its fucked up. let the iraq's kill one another dont bring us into it even tho we are envolved and have beeen for awhile. but shit i'd love it if they stuck george bush and his dadddy over there for a night i bet they wouldnt fuckin make it.

anywhore... i've started to go to a shrink. its not bad at all. kind of nice.

i want to go to north carolina so fuckin bad. i'm go glad that imma get to see my katie miller. that makes me very happy. teeeheee i havent seeen her in so long. as for the whole kevin thing. its all good imma get to seee him as plained and i could really care less if chris likes it or not.

tori is mad at me. booo fucking hooo. just cause i didnt wanna do acid the other night is no reason to get all mad. freshmans...

stuff with kate is okay i guess. i don't know how much i really care tho.

yaayyaa alex said he'd teach me h ow to play the guitar. im all excited. coz i really really wanna learn.

tear drop i miss nick. i was talking to anrew today and he was like nick called me last week from flordia. see the last i heard he was in fuckin woodstock but i guess not nomore. oh-well. i feel kind of shity about that. like we never really hung out after school got out. and i havent seen christy in a long ass time. :( i'm all sad now ahahah i miss them lots

unwanted charm*

*just something i wrote this morning* [13 Jul 2004|08:17am]
[ mood | gloomy ]

if its going to end i don't want it so start. i'm sorry. but try to understand. i don't want this to end, with one of us feeling sorry and the other with a b r o k e n heart. tell me if this is going to end before it starts. if it is going to end then i'm not sure i want this to start. i rather miss out on something that could be really cool than loose a really perfect friend. you can't see into the future anymore than i can. but tell me what you think about the way i feel? will this start and end terribly? or will this start and end with the perfect ending?

unwanted charm*

[12 Jul 2004|01:59pm]
i know im about to start to think that only the worse is going to happen :(

AND I SHOULDN'T...so ima try not to...
unwanted charm*

they are coming back.... [12 Jul 2004|11:56am]
[ mood | blah ]

my headachs are coming back. oh joy. i'm used to it though. i told my mom and she was like maybe we should really go to a dr., dr. i was like geeee ya think? i've been trying to make her see that i am in pain like every day and that simple advil doesnt help me one bit but does she listen? nopes!!! it just goes in one ear and comes out the other. well i'm gonna go laydown. noting great happend today nothing really to reflect about. so bye bye <3

i wish it would rain<3 it is just something that makes me smile...

1 His She unwanted charm*

i had to... [11 Jul 2004|08:51am]
i called kev cause this shit was really fucking with my head. he was just a lil out of it but oh well )...he was just like how does chris know? that was my question. i just felt like i should tell kev what was up. so i did. anyways he was like don't worry we'll still see each other and not to worry about what he saying. and for me to be chill. so i will be. cause there really is no reason to freak.

"is he crazy, is he gonna hurt me?" hahah that was great...
unwanted charm*

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