|Saturday, February 12th, 2005|
so much f'n fun
ha.. last night went to the mall widd beautiful violet. and i saw madd friggen ppl i havent seen in soo long. i saw kris resendes n marc leandro. i got a hug from kris =). then i saw someone i havent seen for like what 8 months. douglas! ha cute jersey by the by. lol it was cool i only talked to him for like a few cuz he was goin to go do something n i needed to find danny. like.. NOW. well like then but styll. lol cuz coley sed that danny sold her some fake shyt and then josh and bobby damon got in this and im like oh fuk no. so i found danny before they cud. ha cuz im cool like that and have danny senses. and i didnt want ne thin to happen to danny. and then i ended up hangin out widd danny like the rest of the night. and shyt was like wayy outta place lol cuz of all the fighting and shyt going on.. and then i had this gurl.. jelisa or however u spell it. shes soo friggen awesome shes like oh my fukin god these liddal white boys have messed widd the wrong portorican lol. i was like ya i got my money on her! lol. and wen bobby n some kidd came over to us they wanted danny and jelisa was like.. oh sure pick the whitest boy here to fukin widd haha im like nah i think bobby got danny beat widd the white boy shyt haha hmm what else happened.. haha josh tried to take a picture of me so i ran away lol. i hateee pictures lol i shudda taken one cuz well i looked oh so hot huh. lol oh yarrr. ya well im out cuz im guna talk to my colakins. ha i like that name... im talkin bout coley if u wantd to kno. haha well im outttt peace<3
im soo friggen happy about last night. =)
oh and i saw dj. he was surprised that i sed hi to him after i sed i hated him and never wanted to talk to him again. i didnt really mean it but i was mad and things have changed widd me and him.
r.i.p dj conrad. 2 months alreayd baby i miss you n love you forever
Current Mood: flirty
Current Music: boulevard of broken dreams - greenday
|Friday, January 14th, 2005|
yaa.. well school sucks and so does this shythole town..i wanna go home.. i miss my friends. =( well its been one month and 3 days sense dj died... i still miss him and i cry each and every single night thinkin of him. his birthday is next wedesday. im guna go visit his grave. im not guna wanna leave. my dad says im dwelling on it to much well i dont think i am. i really loved this kidd after all and he was basically my only damn friend in this town. i have many friends but.. he was just different. i hate living my life without him. i just cant take it. and now i gota deal widd frankies shyt now to. which SUCKS. he hates everyone in the naberhood now. and i told him i dont give a fuck and for him to leave cuz hes not wanted or liked very much here either. of course i dont mean that but he doesnt kno that. i just wish somethin cud happen to me. cuz im sure thats what hes been wishin for. me instead of dj. i kno thats a "stupid" thing to say but u guys just have no fukkin ideaa. today on the bus mike sed somethin about when he gets his license hes guna hit a tree and die and me and nikki snapped like so bad we were screamin at him and we started crying. cuz thats what happened to dj and u cant fuckin say taht shyt.. expecially around someone that has known him for like ever and around someone that wanted to spend their life with him. its like wtf. lol ive never sworn so much in my life. i friggen miss dj and its been a month and im kinda realizing he IS gone and i CANT change it. and i wish i cud. oh god i wish i cud.just one more fuckiinn night with him.. its all i askk.. =(
well im guna go.. die?
by the way me and joey are broken up because he fuckin cheated on me.. after fuckin 7 months.. wtf is that shyt god i hate guys like that. ughh fuckkk that no one can fuckin play me and get away widd shyt like that.. HELL NOO...
Doug.. your so wonderful to me and uve brought meaning into my life and im so glad i met you a yr and a half ago. youve helped me through so much i lovee youu <33
i love violettt shes alwyas guna be my best and truest friend. anyone fucks widd her they guna get stabbed, and shut the fuck downnn bitch.http://www.mem.com/display/biography.asp?ID=642172
go to that.. thats djs website.. go to tributes. im on page two. obviously where it says steph. <33
...he was soo truly amazing...
.....why the fuk did it have to be him...
.......this shyt surely sucks....
LOVED AND MISSED FOREVERRRR
|Sunday, December 26th, 2004|
|its my LJ username though.. hehe BILLYz In It =)
|Saturday, December 25th, 2004|
xo Stolen from Emily xo
Fill This Out..Dont Sign Your Name..<3
One love note.
Lyrics to a song.
How old you are.
How long we've been friends.
And a hint to who you are.
xo Much Love ox
|Friday, December 24th, 2004|
[x] Name:: Stephanie
[x] Nicknames:: Steph, Sepy, Stephy, Lesbian SeaHorse ( thanks mcafee
[x] Righty Lefty?: Bothy
[x] Baseball Soccer?:: Baseball
[x] Zodic Sign:: leo
[x] Hair Color:: dirty blonde
[x] Hair Lenght:: kinda long
[x] Eye Color:: hazelish i guess
[x] Current Mood::im not sure
[x] Current Time:: 9:20pm
[x] Food:: pizza
[x] Drink:: chocolate milk
[x] Resturante::i duno
[x] Band:: KoRn
[x] Music Genere:: rock, rap, punk.pop everything
[x] Book:: go ask alice
[x] T.V Show:: room raiders
[x] Color:: black, pink and white
[x] Sign of Effection:: holding hands <3
[x] Clothes::im not sure
[x] Place:: no where anymore..
[x] Movie:: house a of 1000 corpses
[x] Quote::"you cant change the letters when the ink dries"
[x] Animal:: Kittyyy
[x] Dating?:: Joey
[x] Crush?:: Billy.
[x] Boyfriend Girlfriend?:: Joey
[x] Striaght Gay Bi?::straight but i can curve haha
[x] PDA or No?:: whats that
[x] Looks or Personality?:: personality
[x] Ur Type . ( i.e Hair color eyes height yaddah yaddah ):: it doesnt really matter on their hair color or whatever. it usually matters on whats inside.
>> Have You Ever?
[x] Had Sex:: none of anyones buisnes
[x] Huged Random people:: yup. lol just to beat scott. but hes a cheater so..
[x] Made a survey:: yea way bak in the day haha
[x] Kissed someone you didnt know:: well i sort of knew them?
[x] Danced Naked?:: lol ya i do that all the time..no of course not
[x] Pissed Somewhere beside the bathroom?:: yes
[x] Got In A Fist Fight:: yes
[x] Regreted Something?:: every day of my life.
>> Five Things that Your wearing right now?
[x] really cute shurt
>> Five Bands
[x] linkin park
[x] ying yang twins
>> Five Things You See/Hear
[x] hoobastank -what happened to us-
[x] Djs pictures
[x] ajz snowman
[x] kevins hat =)
>> Five Main Goals In Life
[x] be the best i can be
[x] be with my one true love
[x] keep in touch with violet FOREVERR
[x] be happy for once..mission impossible
[x] be in a band
>> Five huge dislikes
[x] people juding people
[x] people who have huge egos
[x] stupid skanks
[x] shallow guys
>> Five Best Friends
[x] DJ [r][i][p] i miss you
[x] Ryan E
>> Friends: Whos doing what?
[x] Been Stabed?:: idk
[x] Stabed someone:: lots of my friends
[x] funniest?:: violet
[x] sweetiest:: DJ was
[x] trendiest:: ariel
[x] hottest:: taylorrr
[x] smartest:: alyssa
[x] most considerate:: Hannah
[x] dumbest:: VIOLETT..i mean...lol or corey =p
[x] druggie?:: Dj was haha. i think ill give it to JUSTIN now
[x] soon to be famous:: kristinaa
[x] most likely to suceed:: alyssa
>> If You Could
[x] move somewhere:: new york
[x] fall in love with::.. i have fallen in love..
[x] meet someone:: adam sandler
[x] get something:: a guitar..ill find out tomorrow on christmas morning!
>> Stuck on an island
[x] 4 friends
[x] chris M
[x] 3 food items
[x] 2 extra items
[x] 1 outfit
[x] sweatpants and a shurtt. lol
>> Aim WHORE
[x] over used word?:: haha
[x] who do you talk to the most?:: paul
[x] person on aim the most::jon
[x] dumbest computer skills::aj haha
>>Five things that don't impress you...
[x] big egos
[x] doing stupid shit
[x] reving engine
[x] burping or farting
>>Five things you cant live without...
[x] memories of Dj and Mee.
>>Five things you'll do when you complete this...
[x] talk to people
[x] do another survey if i get that bored
[x] bother my parents
[x] listen to music
>>Five things you feel right now...
Merry Christmas <3
..im so broken..
dj i miss and love you babe. <|3 this christmas wont be as good as it was suppose to be without you..
Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: what happened to us
|Wednesday, December 15th, 2004|
R.I.P. DAVID PAUL CONRAD JR. "DJ"
DJ I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING. U WERE MY BEST FRIEND AND WILL REMAIN THAT WAY. YOU WERE MY ONLY ONE. AND AS EACH DAY GOES BY WITHOUT YOU THE CLOUDS SEEM TO COVER THE SUN EVEN MORE, KNOWIN THAT I CAN NEVER SEE YOUR BEAUTIFUL SMILE AGAIN. SENSE YOUVE BEEN GONE MY WORLD HAS BEEN DARK AND GRAY. YOU MEAN EVERYTHING TO ME AND ITS HARD FOR ME TO LIVE MY LIFE, KNOWNING THAT YOU CANT FINISH YOURS. YOU ARE MY ANGEL. <3 " AND NEVER, NEVER BE AFRIAD TO DIE, FOR I AM WAITING FOR YOU IN THE SKY" QUOTE FROM YOUR MEMORY CARD. I KNO THAT YOUR GOING TO BE THERE WAITING FOR ME, AND I CANT WANT UNTIL THAT DAY WE CAN BE TOGETHER SOMEWHERE SOMEHOW FOR ONE LAST NIGHT.
ANYONE THAT READS THIS.. DO ME A FAVOR AND PRAY FOR HIM, EVEN IF YOU DIDNT KNOW HIM IT WUD MEAN THE WORLD TO ME. I LOVE HIM AND I PRAY FOR HIM EVEERY NIGHT. AND IM NOT EVEN RELIGIOUS. LIFE JUST ISNT THE SAME ANYMORE. AND ANY OF YOU THAT DRIVE.. PLEASE DRIVE SAFELY.
EVERY NIGHT I PRAY.. ILL BE MISSING YOU..
I LOVE YOU DJ ALWAYS.
Current Mood: lonely
Current Music: ASS LIKE THAT -EMINEM-
|Wednesday, December 8th, 2004|
well last nite i hung out wid dj, justin and pat.. haha what else is new? lol umm well the nyte started off with me and dj going to the mall. just me and him walking around .. pointlessly.. and then we went to bjs and talked to nelson for a liddal whyle.. umm then we went to JuStInS's house *smile* umm and pat was eatin a donut and i called him a fat ass.. lol but whatver.. umm we were only at justins for a lidal bit. cuz i had to be home at eight. he got his braces off *tear* lol but it looks good. but i got a thing with braces..haha well gota go..watch TOOTHLESS <3
me n doug kinda got into a lidal arguement last nyte. nothin serious but i hate fighting with him. hes such an awesome person if he wasnt so negative and shyt. somethin wrong wid him lately i just wish i cud b there for him more then i am. <3
met a kidd named mikey today. he kinda looks like chris mcgrath. =)
gota go buh bye lovez.
-x -steph- x-
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: breakdown
|Thursday, December 2nd, 2004|
the other night i went to dj's and chylled with him and Justin. it was awesome.. lol its so fun hanging out with them too. lol.. well tonight i went and chilled with Dj. and we decided to find nick and jessika (frankies sister). it was awesome. shes pretty kool. nick was funny. lol kinda gross the way he spits..but hes a guy what do you expect.. omg me and dj got into a car accident.. with a TREE!! lol it was awesome.. lol even tho i slammed my head into his back window of the truck and hit my knee on the shift. lol im in pain but it was fun. dj you loser!! lol jessika immediatly hit up his cell and started laughing. lol well my day was interesting..even tho no one cares!! lol
They were smokin weed wikkid bad too lol i smell like it once again.
well im out. <3
Current Mood: high
Current Music: silence..
|Thursday, November 25th, 2004|
Well.. tonite was fun.. thanks to dj he invited mee to go bowling wid him, his cuz justin and his friend Pat. omg it was so fun.. i lost. lol the third game we played i beat dj tho.. ya im soo skill'd haha not bad for my first time! haha. umm i have a huge bruise on my back thanks alot pat.. lol if u wanna kno what happened was.. we were driving around in pats car right. and he decided he wants to b an asshole and he was doing a hole bunch of 360'z n dum shit like that in the skool parking lot.. haha and the first time he did it i didnt kno what he was doing and i flew from one end of the bak seat into dj and then flew back into the hockey sticks. lol OUCHIES. lol and justin was dying laughing course he was stoned off his ass and was complaning he was hungry but only had 4 dollaz. lol and after all that we decided to drive around 4 like a half hour looking for a place to eat ( obviously it being thanksgiving nothing was open) haha it was so funny.. and there was one mcdonalds open but pat doesnt like mcdonalds so... lol n there was a d'ngelos open but they said it was too expensive haha well it was seeing they had only 4 dollars. lol i had just met pat and justin today they were so awesome. lol i almost killed pat with my 8 pound bowling ball ( shut up it was heavy ok!! lol ) i really should have cuz then i wudnt have had to deal with flying down the highway, flying across the backseat. lol but i had an awesome ass time. best in a long time. i might chyll with them tomorrow.. four wheeling.. haha SCARY huh!.. personally i thought justin was hilarious.. course the other guys didnt cuz they r used to him but i think he was funny. lol FIREWORKS IN THE RAIN..umm it wont work. lol well im out.. PEACEEE..
hope everyone had a happy thanksgiving!! <3
tomorrow is the day ashley jenkins moves.. and the day i die.. im going to miss you babe!! i love you soo f'n much you'll always be my one and only!!! =p!!
omg i miss violet.. i havent spoken to her in 2 days..she hasnt been home.. lol my world is crashing down my the second..thats my gurl =(
i talked to my sunshine today!! ( melissa) and i wanted to chyll with her...and make her walk from taunton to dartmouth but she wouldnt.. im not loved!!!
i wanna go to VOCH with dj, justin and pat. lol but i dont wanna leave the people i met at dhs..hmphers. and voch is hard to get into.. wait i duno how them 3 got in there..potheads =p awesome time tonite. gota chill more. glad i met you guys. =)
Doug. Thx for everything. belive it or not you have helped with the decision i will someday be making whenever i get guts. we've been through so much over the last year..good and bad.. i cudnt have done anything without you.. you help me with everything. lol *mucho love*
for once in my life things r going pretty alright. execpt me and joey are having some problems with our relationship..its been 5 months and we r both scared something wrong is going to happen.. and i think it will.. we've almost broke up 3 times in the past few times.. i dont kno what i want anymore. i want to be with him but.. we go so long without seeing each other it is soo hard to deal with.. =/
Oh and billy.. i saw pictures of your doggie.. lol she is kinda funny looking but shes still cute..come on billy your funny looking and i still think your cute and love youthe same.. lol so stop calling your dog an ugly retard lol be nice you ass =p.. cats r still better though..haha you agree too. TOO BAD VIOLET.. lol BARKELY IS GAYYY..haha jp that is my nephew!! ( yes i have a dog for a nephew.. what of it?! )
Current Mood: indescribable
Current Music: go dj.. lil wayne
|Wednesday, November 24th, 2004|
do de da
umm.. not much to really say i gues.. just updating lettin ya'll kno that im alive.. if you care even tho to some of you im inexisistant.. or so i think?.. well i talked to chris today.. that good i guess.. omg i called ryan emsley at eleven and just got off the fone with him.. lol thats like 2 hourz. haha hes awesome.. no nevermind hes CRAZY. i was suppose to go to a bon fire tonite for new bedford high but it got cancelled.. do to the rain we r experiencing ( its drizzling) friggen wimps. lol umm.. i miss violet. lol
BILLY SAY SNEAKER!! please? you sed shoe for mee. omg say PIG =p.
..dont ask people just dont ask..
well im guna go talk to my Cait.. much love buh bye <3
oh and im talkin to doug again..and yes this is a good thing.. =)
Current Mood: crazy
Current Music: crazy in love.
|Sunday, November 21st, 2004|
to do or not to do
i made a new screename right.. well i was thinking of Iming Derek on it.i really miss talkin to him. i dont kno what could have crashed between us. but im hoping that its all in the past now and that him and i could be the way we were way back when. i hope this works. he means alot to me and hes helped mee through more then he knows and i just want everything to be perfect again..even though nothin is perfect but i will try to be as close to it as possible. if theres one thing i want in this world..is to see him smile again. =)
Current Mood: determined
Current Music: numb- linkin park
is there even a point.
i just dont kno any more. and i dont update quite that often if your wondering because my life is all that it seems. and not like many people read my blurty anyways. or that i know of. and i feel that my exsistance is worthless. so whats the point in even reading it. you tell mee that. umm well i just got home from chris's, every time i am around him i think of everything in my life and i wonder if it is pointless. the way he acts around mee. i feel actually cared about. and im wondering if im going to make a stupid choice again or not. im thinking of breaking it off with joey, one because i never see him and two i cant be with someone when i think id be happier with someone else.
billy. your my best friend and you know that your always going to be my one and only. but whatever we had seemed to have just dissapeared and i dont know if it shall ever return. but in the mean time, i hope your happy with whatever your doing. and whatever i do. i wonder if theres a chance i can be happy once again too.
another thing that goes through my mind is.. is ben really happy? i hope he is. he derseves it, but as long as everything is working then im glad.. i just hope he doesnt lose contact with the ones that truly care for him.
im starting to think that love is a complete waste of time and that its inexsistant in the world. and if your lucky to find it, usualy it gets broken.
i have no idea what just came over me lately i just feel that my time is running out and everything in my life will be taken away and that ill be alone forever. i duno.
Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Music: breakdown-breaking benjamin
|Wednesday, November 17th, 2004|
*hides under desk*
lol ive been home alone for like 2 days already. lol yea i kno most people would like it.. but it sucks actually im soo ALONE. and the other day this creepy guy called me..he goes hi im like um hi hes like is your mom home? imn like no hes like oh good. i got so scared i hung up. lol it was soo creepy. umm not much has happened.. oh i went for an MRI last friday. and i was there for 2 hours. hmm wen i was in the machine i thought i was in a coffin it looked like it. and guess wut.. i gota do MORE x rays.. wtf that must mean something is wrong *sigh* well i gota go..look at katies sexy pictures haha . and katie they came out good. lol and so did your sisters. DONT BE PERVES PEOPLE SHES CLOTHED HAHA losers...
Hi Jen. *smile*
Current Mood: scared
Current Music: beautiful soul
|Saturday, November 13th, 2004|
I DECIDED THAT IM GOING TO STAY WITH JOEY. <3 ITS BEEN 5 MONTHS ALREADY. AND HE MEANS ALOT TO ME.. THE DISTANCE IS KILLING US THO. BUT HE MIGHT BE MOVING NEAR MEE THIS MONTH. THAT WUD MEAN MUCH TO ME.. <3
LOVE YOU JOEY.
6*28 BITCH! =)
VIOLET UR THE BESTEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE F'N WORLD.
Current Mood: loved
Current Music: HAPPY ENDING -AVRIL
|Sunday, November 7th, 2004|
saturday- haha funnnnnnyy ass time wid violet lmao. in newport wid u n ur brotha haha that was hilarious we were lightin a balloon on fire and then we got scared ran away and we dropped it n den we had to chase the balloon lmao and then we thought it wud explode and it just popped.lol it was so funny cuz ppl were laughin at us.. omg. end of the night i was in da car and i yelled out the window.. " hey you with the shirt, who put an S in lisp, if your parents never had kidds chances are neither wil you, and watch out for the carriage! lol it was soo funny. and then the midgit we named seplit.. hes my boyfriend haha. umm next day?
today- hung out wid mi brother all day just playin gta san andres or however u spell lol hes so funny. umm im in a lot of pain and have alot on my mind about something.. =/ so im guna go. buh bye.
i love you emily.
if we arent made to be then why does my heart tell mee that we are. <|3
It'll Never Change..
Current Mood: confused
Current Music: naive orleans - anberlin
|Friday, November 5th, 2004|
well today at skewl was actually pretty good, i had health today. it was soo funny. lol there is only 5 gurls in the class. no fair. lol guys really can be perves eh?. lol umm tonite i was going to go to the mall but im not going to. obviously cuz its 7:00 and it takes me a half hour to get there. I CANT WAIT TO GET MY FUKIN LICENSE. hmph. im so bored, tommorrow im going with my mom, sunday i have no plans yet, ne one wanna make any? *sigh*. i just got off the fone wid billy, yet it wasnt on a pretty note as usual, this is so gay. lol i saw a rainbow on mi way to school today, mi friend asked mee if i cud eat a rainbow i sed yea. rainbows and mee have nothin in common really. a random represents beauty or somethin peaceful. and i don kno if that describes me to well. well im gonna go.. do wutever.
Hi Jen. if you read this at all.
Katies nails r pretty! and i love the green n red in ur hair. a liddal early for christmas but it looks hot *smile*
Current Mood: blah
Current Music: thoughtless - korn- <3 so much memz with that song.*sigh*
|Thursday, November 4th, 2004|
once again i didnt go to skewl..thats ok. if they take away mi credits im just guna drop out..stupid stupid thing to do but i refuse to take it ova again. i just got bak from the doctors. found out it wasnt mi wisdom teeth givin mee pain. i have some weird shyt wrong wid mee i forgot wut it was called..and my jaw is completly out of wack. and it clicks its soo nasty and it hurts so much. i have pills for it. i almost choked on em they are big. i gota do x rays and shyt soon too. *sigh* i also cant eat ne thing ( wow billy..weird huh) i can only drink liquids or have soup.. HMPH!. la de da. i might go to the mall tomorrow i duno. i miss people and i miss violet *tear* i gota call ryan in a few minutes. <3.. ahh im in pain!.
*squeaaaakkkk* omg thats soo annoying. lol
800 mg.. damnnn ( the pills) haha
Current Mood: numb
Current Music: duality- slipknot
|Wednesday, November 3rd, 2004|
My First Entry *smile*
haha sounds like a baby book or something. lol umm nothing happened in school much. i have another journal .. www.livejournal.com/users/xxforevaxfallin .. so that iz like the first half of it..and i duno if ill be updatin in this one or that one. w/e you get the point hehe. katie that was soo funny today in gym, "whos the asshole to put an s in lisp. " lmao. and frigg'n sandy.. she dragged me across the floor ( im the abused wife) lol thats ok! i got bruises from lettin her punch mee. IM GOIN TO MISS YOU GUYS!! now i got stupid ole health. lol.
well i gota go now bye.
ryan your the best. we have the best fone konvos lately. haha im so glad we are still talking. lol memba cuz we CRAZYY!! haha..
Billy <3 *smile* ( evil laugh). memba i wish that cud have happened to violet instead of you.. haha 6 quiet weeks!! haha im jp..not?
Current Mood: crazy
Current Music: so cold - breaking benjamin-