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[18 Aug 2003|10:08am]
Answering Machine message recording:

Gandalf the Grey is not available to take your call right now. Please leave a message at the tone, unless you are planning the demise of Middle Earth, in which case, press 1 now. If you are a hobbit, and require fireworks, press 2 now. If you need to get in contact with a member of the Valar, press 3 now. For all other calls, please leave a message at the tone, and we will get back to you as soon as Maialy possible. Remember, your call is important.
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Letter to his majesty King Elessar [06 Aug 2003|09:38pm]
My dear Aragorn,

Words cannot express my grief at the news of the death of your friend. I am sending along a supply of tea and a collection of fine Mordor pottery. The tea is for drinking; the pottery is to be hurled at convenient walls, should the desire arise. Can you tell me, has anyone come forth with information regarding the culprit of this most heinous act?

Our hearts are with you in this dark moment.
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[12 Jun 2003|09:39am]
*throws down Glorfindel's letter, glowering extravagantly*

Roger, I'm afraid I must be leaving Gondor. Dinner was lovely - I cannot tell you how impressed I am with your skills with a fork. And the roast was excellent.

Now. I am going to require a boat, I think, unless I can catch a certain pointy-eared conniver before he sets sail. *ponders* Or should I just let him have the pretty-er, the RING, that is. Hmm. I want my pretty back. Shadowfax! Here, Shady, Shady! I've got an apple with your name on it....
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[09 Jun 2003|02:20pm]
The wine in Gondor is stronger than I remember. I must drink in smaller quantities - what a long nap. *stifles a yawn*

What's all this about Elrond & co. going on vacation? Take lots of pictures! I miss Yavanna's pies. *reminsces*
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[14 May 2003|11:10am]
*finishes packing, hauls knapsacks and whatnot outdoors*

*whistles for Shadowfax*

*arrives in Gondor shortly thereafter*

Ah, the White City! I haven't been here in ... well, hmph. People are going to start getting used to me if I keep popping up every two or three years instead of every couple of decades. *frowns* Ah, well.

Where's the beer?
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[12 May 2003|08:33pm]
*room is full of clothes, books, scrolls, pipes, mysterious packages, vials of honey, rare bird feathers, and not a few vessels of elven brandy*

*Gandalf is packing in the middle of it, humming to himself delightedly*

I will be glad to visit Minas Tirith again. It will be nice to have a change of scene. Perhaps it will be friendlier there. *pointed glance in direction of samgamgee, through walls and across town*

*pens a note and ties it to an owl* Boromir, I would be most happy to join you in a pint or two at the inn you mentioned. In fact, I think I'll bring a bottle or two of the Second Age's finest to share with you.

*putters about*
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While reading the Rivendell Reporter on a fine Sunday evening [27 Apr 2003|10:27pm]
Aragorn has been painting! And what lovely paintings, too. I hope one of the premier Rivendell galleries picks him up soon, as the art world clearly needs to be introduced to his talent.

I have lost much hope in the search for the Silmaril and Narya. Glorfindel is an excellent manager of security; however, it is clear that he is overworked and understaffed. Rivendell gapes at the seams like a pipe springing water leaks in all directions. I can only hope that no armies invade, as Galadriel is off on a journey to Lorien, and Elrond has been quite retiring of late. *glances at empty finger* I fear it may come to a seeking through the Palantir. The thought of using one of those things weighs heavy on my mind, and yet. The Silmaril is too precious to lose like this.

It seems Eomer has moved on to greater things. *faint smile* He was a nice boy. I do hope his head heals properly.

And Roger has arrived in Rivendell! May wonders never cease. And may my old paramours stop popping up at inconvenient moments. It's over between us, I want that understood. No offense, of course, dear Roger. You understand, don't you? It's not good to reopen old wounds. *looks worried* I mean no offense, of course. It's only that things got rather complicated, and all. I would have a lot to explain to certain people if things were to come out. You know. Perhaps we might stage a mock battle or two, for old times' sake and appearances?

*smokes pipe*

*embers fall onto Rivendell Reporter, which catches flame with a whooosh*

*ashes flutter slowly to the ground*

Well. I'd best be .... pestering checking on the status of the investigation.
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[21 Apr 2003|10:10pm]
*twiddles thumbs*

That's it. I'm going out for a ride. And I'm taking Shadowfax. *whistles for horse*

*horse canters up*

Now that's service. *saddles up, rides off into wilderness around Rivendell*
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[21 Apr 2003|09:58pm]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Narya is gone
Culprit, I'm gonna kill you.

*brandishes Glamdring*
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[20 Apr 2003|11:37pm]
*potters around the halls of Rivendell, making his way back to his quarters*

*musing* Let's see. I need to make an appointment with a nice tea house for a light repast of some sort with dear little Elrohir. And I need to invest in a tranquilizer gun, in case I should run into Elladan in the halls again. *frowns* There was something else.

*opens door* Ah, dear little bedchamber! How delightful you are! I do love this wing of the House. Such pretty furniture. And oh, look, someone's left my jewelry box out.


Narya? Darling? Flame of my heart?

Baby, where are you?


My ring, my Nifty Elven Ring! WHERE IS IT?! *tears the rooms apart, looking under the bed, inside the chamber pot, in between the sheets, behind the autographed Gamgee Studio portraits of Rúmil*

*sits down abruptly*

This cannot be. Someone has stolen the Ring of Fire. *looks lost* Someone took my baby! Glorfindel! Elrond! Galadriel! Help! I've been robbed!
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Water and Shadow [13 Apr 2003|08:57pm]
[ mood | anxious ]
[ music | drums in the deep ]

Ye flames of Morgoth! My rooms are ankle-deep in water. What is going on?! I have books in here, you know.... *opens drawer* MY TEABAGS ARE WET! Do you know how expensive Mordor Earl Grey is?! And my dragonpearl jasmine.... oh no. You can't get tea like that anymore. Smaug went out of the business back when certain people decided to raid his house for cheap trinkets and there just hasn't been any good pearl jasmine to be had since.

Now I know what that odd little poety elf was talking about. My robes are curling up at the hem. My whole quarters has taken on the lovely perfume of a dank lower dungeon in Moria. Something's rotting in this water....... *fumes*

*small voice* Erestor? Glorfindel? Would one of you be so kind as to get to the bottom of this? Before I float away?

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[09 Apr 2003|07:33pm]
*wanders the halls peeking behind curtains and under furniture and calling, "Rúmil! Rúmil!"*

I want to ravish. I haven't ravished in at least a few hours.
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[09 Apr 2003|07:09pm]


*pokes* Hast thou passed beyond this middle earth? *mourns* Alas, poor Saruman, I knew him well.

Glorfy, on the other hand, is all too near at hand. *frowns at rival B-lrog slayer*
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[06 Apr 2003|07:56pm]
I would have you know, Boromir, that I did not pass out.

Rúmil did, oh, twice or so. He's dashing, and all that, but he really does need to eat more. *prods*

Mmm. Dinner was in there somewhere; I confess I forget what I had, as I was busy with more important things. Still. A very pleasant experience.
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[04 Apr 2003|04:29pm]
*picks a flower*

*removes one petal* He loves me!

*removes another, letting it flutter to the ground* He loves me not.

*removes another, tossing it high into the air* He loves me!

*looks at the rest of the flower, counts petals*

*tosses it into the bushes*

It's best not to count your chickens before they're hatched.
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[02 Apr 2003|08:02pm]
have ordered new package of pills. am eagerly awaiting their arrival.

found a book in Rivendell's Library t'other day on Ancient Elvish Poetry. have got to page three. v. dull. am glad that Age is over.

spent the afternoon polishing Glamdring, as it had developed a 32nd of an inch of rust along one edge. they simply do not make them like they used to. am v. disappointed. want my money back, but have misplaced my receipt. damn bureacracy!

Glorfindel, we really must get together sometime and discuss B-lrog slaying.
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[26 Mar 2003|08:14am]
Er... was it a good wedding, then?

I seem to have fallen asleep in the tub. Most embarrassing. Too much to drink, I suppose.

And I have the oddest feeling I was with someone.... eh. Please excuse an old man.
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Personals 3-24-03 [24 Mar 2003|05:57pm]
Male seeking long term relationship, with either gender but male preferred
Single Maia Male, age best left unknown, loves hot chocolate and walks on volcanoes. Owner of Nifty Ring and Spiffy Sword (won't share, but will protect others with them)
Looking for an elf, man, hobbit, or orc with a sense of humor and a romantic streak.
11 comments|post comment

[23 Mar 2003|05:12pm]
lord_of_mordor's here! *cheers* How are you, old fellow? No hard feelings, I hope? As I understand it, you have a new body, forged of metal in the fires of Mount Doom. *blinks* How do you handle going through metal detectors?

And I must applaud your pacifist efforts in regard to the wedding(s?) and the gathering of so many different races together in one place. You have such patience. I tend to toss random people minor Artifacts and then wander off to quieter regions for a century or two. Ah well.

Are you free for tea?
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[19 Mar 2003|09:29am]
Ah, d3n3th0r is here. Excellent. Maybe I can get a new library card from him. My last one seems to have disintegrated in the wash. Getting that perfect faded grey look requires a hundred or so spin cycles, and I always forget to take my wallet out.

goldenelf, would you happen to know if the library here at Rivendell has a copy of Orcs: the Breeding and Bleeding of? I'd like to brush up on my techniques. It's an excellent book, covering both sides of the issue.
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