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Mine and Sara's Favorite Topic [21 Jan 2005|11:09pm] [ mood | irritated ] [ music | Dixit Dominum - Choir song (in my head) ] Everyday after the bell rings, Sara comes to my locker to talk. We talk about the same thing every day, but i like it. Somedays we roll our eyes, somedays Sara "grrrr"s, and all days we both laugh. Kelly said Kristina wanted to know why I like this person, that i should just tell her, she won't get mad. Kristina, I'm sorry! i don't mean to confuse you. I can deal with her for a while. She can be funny sometimes and its nice when she laughs at my jokes. She is also very easy to persuade. But there are more things that i DON'T like about her: when she sticks her tongue out when she says any word with an L in it, when she rolls her "R"s on "three" (haha you've seen this), how she is so clingy to everybody, how she brags about her ex-boyfriends when someone says "how long were you going out with your boyfriend?" and she says "which one?? HAHAHAHA" like it's so damn funny, how she talks all the fucking time how she misses her boyfriend, when she can't choose her own damn lunch, how she walks, how she gets pissed at little tiny things and then gives me or Sara the silent treatment, how she couldn't accept that I wanted to be friends with you, how she is so protective over her brother like he's her LOVER, when she brags that her and ashley can have a whole conversation without saying anything (woot woot i'm so proud), how she wants to make damn ugly tee-shirts for every single special day at school, how she thinks she's so crafty and writes all cutesy but she doesn't and she's actually really BAD at it, her STUBBORN attitude, how she doesn't like anything if she doesn't know about it, when she gets pissed because she doesn't know what a word means (like when i asked her if she was going to "wallow in her self-pity"- "what does WALLOW mean??"), how she wants to follow everyone to their college, how she won't go to south dakota to get her degree because then she'll have to take another test to get her license back here(!lazy!), how she got a brand new computer just to go learn how to do hair (wtf?!), how she lives like a pig and never cleans anything including her room or her car, how she pretends to love hair and makeup when she never fixes her hair except to straighten it so it looks fried and she wears the same makeup everyday and never takes off her mascara she just picks it off - and it looks like she wears eyeliner but its just mascara or SOMETHING, and i hate it when she comes to school with greasy hair because she WOKE UP LATE and then is pissed all day. Kristina, i really don't like her. You know this, i know you do. But if i ever look like i like her, its either because: i'm pretending, she's saying something either funny or retarded, she's talking about her brother, or i don't have a friend at the present moment (you know how that goes). Do not fret! post comment

Happy New Year [01 Jan 2005|12:25am] [ mood | lonely ] [ music | shania twain & billy currington - party for two ] So i didn't do anything for new years'. oh well. Wednesday i think it was, i hung out with kristina. we took a road trip to see eric but he wasn't home, so we drove by angie's dad's house. haha her dad got suspicious. i called robert because he wanted to hang out while he was on break, but he didn't answer. he called angie (who was at perkins) whose number it was, she said mine and then texted me saying "hey ur by my dad's" i was like wtf so i called her but we got disconnected (fine by me). then i called robert and asked him if he was scared. we swung by and picked him up and just drove around for awhile. kristina was talking about ladies slicing off their nipples to prevent a made-up disease and women chopping off their husband's balls if they cheated. whew! some crazy topics. haha Last night i talked to eric on msn for about 3 hours. he's so funny. it's rebekah now as the girlfriend, and uff da, too much lovin'. that's all. This entry was kind of stupid, but i've been quite paranoid since robert found my other website. he asked me if i've found his stuff on the internet. not yet. post comment

be realistic, people. [29 Sep 2003|05:33pm] obviously even i am incapable of being realistic. obviously i am incapable of thinking things through. even i am incapable of deciding. i am human! i started hanging out with kristina again. angie doesn't know. except for when heather told her that she saw me and kristina and arthur at the gas station. okay, so she has SOME idea. but she doesn't know the half of it. i KNOW that kristina was mean to me, i remember how depressed i was. but look at me now. i'm so annoyed with everything. am i overreacting? is what i see real, or just something my imagination created? am i supposed to be friends with kristina again? am i supposed to tell angie about it? will angie not want to hang out with me anymore? kristina has something on me already. i spilled my heart to her. i know she won't tell. i trust kristina - to an extent. kristina understands me, she knows me. she should! we were friends for almost 5 years! angie knows who i am, she knows my habits. she doesn't know who i like. or does she? does she know me well enough to guess? kristina is smart. she is confident. i'll finish later. post comment

minnesota state writing test [18 Jun 2003|02:24pm] [ mood | nostalgic ] [ music | tim mcgraw - please remember me ] In my childhood days, deciding whose house to play at was never a problem among my small alliance of friends. But I was always partial to Megan's "cookies-and-cream-colored" house. Something about her house in particular inspired me to be myself, and the swaying of the trees in her backyard offered an indescribable calming. I never really knew how much those memories of her house had an impact on me until now. Megan and I would spend all day in her backyard, dreaming about and discussing silly things like our weddings, going to college together, some future kids' names, and everything else that little girls dream about. Her backyard was always fun. That was something I could count on - go to Megan's, and I wouldn't be bored. We used our avid imaginations and always came up with some crazy idea. We would climb across her Deluxe super-huge swingset like monkeys, bury coins in her weed-infested sandbox, pick full-grown peas from her mom's garden and eat them, and spy on the neighbors. Megan had a neighbor-girl who she was supposed to be nice to, but she irked us. She tried to play in the sandbox with us, but we never wanted her to. One day, we tried to make her mad at us. Megan picked the biggest green bean from her mom's garden and spliced in down the crease with her dirty thumb nail. She wrapped a live slug in rhubarb and shoved it in the bean. "Give it to her!" I whispered to Megan. Kara, the neighbor girl, was headed towards us. "No - you do it! She won't eat it, it's too fat," Megan tried to give it back to me. "Don't chicken out." I gave Megan a little encouraging shove. "Here Kara, we picked you a big green bean aannd...you can have it. I don't like beans," Megan had mastered a fake, hospitable smile. I suddenly got worried that the slug was poisonous and would kill Kara. I didn't want her to die, just to go away! We ran inside the house; Kara didn't eat it. She was smarter than we thought. I was around Megan a lot in second grade, and that was when we started our neverending quest to be cool. One some occasions when I made Megan laugh, she would laugh very hard, non-stop, and snort. I thought it was dorky, so I would yell, "MEGAN!!....cooool...." We would burst out laughing together at how dumb I sounded. I have since found out that it doesn't matter how cool you are, all you need to worry about is being yourself. In Megan's backyard back in the day, we used to tape ladybugs to her swingset slide in the fall when it was covered with them. We used to pick Megan's mom's flowers out of her own flower garden and use them to bribe her to make us cookies. One time, Megan told me that the clover patch under her swings was the middle of the world. I believed her because she was my best friends\. I kind of miss those days: when all that mattered was your best friend and how much time you had to play together that day. One time, my mom didn't let me go to Megan's until after we went to the lake for a couple hours. I was so mad at my mom and was crabby all day at the lake. The only thing I wanted to do was be with my friend. I never understood how much my old friends meant to me until now. Megan and I shared so many crazy memories of her house, mostly good memories. Her backyard was like a secret wonderland for us to share. It is hard sometimes to understand how some place as simple as a friend's house and backyard could mean so much to me and hold the title for my favorite childhood place to play. But the memories and the friends that accompany this place are the things that capture its beauty and childhood essence. Those memories are what shaped and set the standard for my idea of a perfect childhood. I believe that the person I am today and who I will be in the future is determined, in part, by Megan and her backyard. Favorite places are memorable; friends and memories are priceless. post comment

cute little kids... [05 Jun 2003|12:02am] [ mood | hungry ] [ music | "she's my kind of rain" - tim mcgraw ] "When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said,"Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy" "I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?" post comment

he needs to stop that. [31 May 2003|05:15pm] [ mood | disappointed ] [ music | wallflowers-one headlight ] one good thing about eric going out with amy - she keeps him clean. no more drinking, and that is good. that boy could really hurt himself. then for the end of the year party she said that he could have 6, and he did. of course, he did. now why did he have to tell me that? makes me mad at him, thinking that he could be so much better. he CAN be so much better! post comment

butterflies.... [11 May 2003|10:20pm] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | diamond rio - i believe ] butterflies for no real reason. just for the thoughts i have. i think about him all the time. the music i've gotten accustomed to just makes the feelings more intense. i think a lot about things that we could do... talking in his car, sitting on his car and watching the sunset or watching the stars... anything romantic. oh, i don't know. post comment

register here! [27 Apr 2003|12:07am] [ mood | thoughtful ] [ music | oklahoma wind - tonic sol fa ] today angie (or shall i say Ajjjj - haha!) and i went to her cool grandma's house and helped her decorate a table at the town hall. then we went to lake b. to a restaurant and had pizza burgers and cheeseballs, then to the opera house to see the play "register here". eric was in it. it was really good - i laughed really hard when they were dragging the "dead" guy around. i got to talk to eric too- and we ended up giving him a ride home! last night we went to the tonic sol fa concert. they were really good! the lead singer reminded aj and me of heith! so after the concert, robert came driving with us and we went to HVG and told heith that we saw his look-alike. i ate bob's ice cream and we went to burger king and walmart too...yupyup.... i bought the tonic sol fa CD, and i've listened to it a ton. i like 'oklahoma wind' and 'go tell it on the mountain' the best. w00t! post comment

zip-a-dee-doo-dah! [23 Apr 2003|08:53pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | kenny chesney - big star ] jesus this took forever to log on. i'm disgusted at a website i just read. for one thing, it hurt my eyes, and a girl is gushing over her boyfriend and how cute he is, then theres a picture at the bottom and hes like, old and gross. haha that makes me sound so shallow. i finally went and downloaded a bunch of the coo' country songs that remind me of my awesomest friend AJ! ferreal, gurl! you's a big starrrrrr! all has been going quite wonderful lately. i'm happy! i am a happy girl! w00t! with my coo'chino and all. hmmm :D post comment

grr [06 Apr 2003|09:39pm] [ mood | annoyed ] [ music | disney channel ] fuck, she makes me so sick. whenever i talk to her, i feel dirty. i just want to spend time with my new friends! they make me happy and make me feel CLEAN. they're my nice big bars of soap that make me happy. whew! :D post comment

so this is love.....cinderella [29 Mar 2003|09:39pm] so this is love, mmm, so this is love, so this is what makes life divine, i'm all aglow, mmm, and now i know, and now i know, the key to a heaven is mine, my heart has wings, mmmm, and i can fly, i'll touch every star in the sky, so this is the miracle that i've been dreaming of, mmmm mmmm, so this is love. post comment

[24 Mar 2003|05:52pm] testing, testing 1..2..3.... post comment

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