01:51am 14/02/2006
 
mood: stressed
so i am back in the job market. damn is it stressful. blah.

at least they bring a smile to my face.... http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7521044027821122670
 
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04:22pm 11/07/2005
 
mood: stressed
so i'm stressed and confused. doctors visit today :( weekend was good... but i can't seem to shut off my thoughts. i really need to. damn i just want to cry till i feel better.
 
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05:44pm 30/06/2005
 
mood: exhausted
blurty is rather depressing. i use it because most people i know don't use it. nice to vent and not get shit for it. i'm looking forward to some time off of work. i love my job, but i need a break. not that time with the family is any sort of break.
 
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01:05pm 29/06/2005
 
mood: stressed
so i haven't been using blurty on a regular basis, heck any basis. i think that will change. i have found i can't share much in other places. people get too bent out of shape.

i've been stressed to my max. yesterday i was almost crying under my desk at work. not a pretty picture. grad school is killing me. i need this done and done soon before i go insane. i love my job, but it doesn't leave me free time. not that i have anything worth while to do with free time...... except school work.

aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
 
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08:32pm 01/01/2005
 
mood: hopeful
funny, the thing that brought me mind numbing pain for days has now brought about complete and total bliss.
 
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11:40pm 16/11/2004
 
mood: tired
i wonder if anyone ever even uses blurty anymore. i haven't in ages. need to get back here though. bit more private for my posts... since few know about this journal. anyway.... new job starts soon. very scared, but excited to. it is in my field, so yay!
 
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01:40pm 06/05/2004
  find a new excuse, this one doesn't hold water anymore. and you, i hope you are a supportive and decent friend. but we will find out, now wont we.  
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05:35pm 19/04/2004
 
mood: energetic
just did pilates and my weights. this time i did the hour long pilates tape. fun stuff. i feel amazing. people keep telling me i look better. nice to hear it, even if i don't see it. then again i never see it, even when i was rather thin, i never could see it. oh well... the excercise makes me feel great at least. lots of energy and much less stressed. want to make it to bed by 11 so i can go to the gym tomorrow. but if i don't, i'll hike around the block a few times or something.
 
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05:05pm 06/04/2004
 
mood: energetic
today was a long day. up early. i got my hair done. then to wegmans for a turkey sub for lunch. i had it on a honey wheat role, with lettuce, tomato, american cheese and honey mustard. i only ate half of the 7inch sub. though it was very yummy. the other half is in my fridge for tomorrow.

then it was off to campus. got some job leads. also printed out a bunch of thesis stuff. came home and saw dem. then made jello and lifted my weights. still plan on doing some pilates later after dinner. i feel really good and energized.
 
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01:36pm 16/03/2004
 
mood: cold
tried the new yoga dvd i got yesterday. seems ok. though i think i might look for something a little slower paced. i liked it, but you barely held the poses. i want to find something where you hold each pose longer. thats about all.

reading the book today. hope i learn more and acomplish more. i've been battling some very negative feelings. i wish i wasn't but i am. i will win this little battle with myself. i will correct my outlook. i will be ok.

dreading my birthday coming up. i have always had a hard time with them. my mother is going to visit. both a great and horrid thing. going to find some lunch. maybe steak out. yummy.
 
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04:16pm 11/03/2004
 
mood: okay
busy day. got up dem and i had lunch and shopped for my birthday gift :) came home and i washed dishes and changed the water in klimts bowl.

i got the coolest fortune today (yay for the fortune cookie).

all and all a decent day so far.
 
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yyyyiiiippppiiiiieeee!!!!!!   
01:24pm 02/02/2004
 
mood: happy
my former teacher opened her own studio! i get to take lessons from her and i don't have to return to that horrid place. i'm going to be dancing again.
 
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03:00am 01/02/2004
 
music: front 242 - modern angel
it has been ages since i last wrote in here. i've been lost lately. i had so many ideas and certainties.... but nothing is ever certain. there are moments when i'm happy. i wish i could live in those moments forever. i can't. i'm learning as much as i can. both in school and personally.

decided not to go out tonight. need rest. played chess with a friend and watched kindred the embraced on dvd. uuuummmm, brigid walsh... yummy.
 
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10:43am 31/10/2003
 
mood: happy
new ink today! new ink today! new ink today! new ink today!
 
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my dear friend was robbed   
11:16am 18/08/2003
 
mood: crappy
one of my dearest friends (dem) has been going through a horrid nightmare. he was visiting friends and away from his apartment from Tuesday till Friday. when he arrived home he found the apartment manager had changed his locks and he did not have a key to his own apt. the lock was fine, but his key did not work. he tried for days to get ahold of the manager, but he was not home until this morning. when he did get into his own home, he found that he had been robbed. over 12 large boxes of his videos were taken as well as many other items of value.

i have created a wish list for him. it can be found at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/registry/2N0RQDPFCZXL9/ref%3Dcm%5Fwlinvite%5Femail%5Fwl/104-3935071-7571142 and it contains items that were stolen from his home. i try not to ask for things here in my lj. however several people have asked if there is anything they can do to help. helping to replace some of the items is all i can think to do. please note that items do not need to be new. many of the movies can be purchased used for under $5 and many for $1 or $2. (he did not ask for this wish list, i made it on my own. he has not asked for any help.... just moral support. i created this list because i want to help and feel that others may want to as well).

thank you for your help.
 
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04:44pm 15/07/2003
 
mood: busy
so much to do. tonight is bubble tea, then dance, then pick up dem and then broadway joes. damn it is gonna be a long time till i can sit and rest.

already did laundry and went shopping. blah.
 
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08:12pm 02/07/2003
 
mood: hot
so lately i have been a big old mess. tired, grumpy and depressed. i'm sick of certain people. i try to help, but i can't fix your problems. only you can. i have had to withdraw all assistance, because you need to learn to fix your own life. i can not give as much as a quarter towards your bus fare. i feel bad about that. but in all honesty you are too needy. you expect and people to fix all your messes. you don't know how to fix them yourself and you are a grown man. older then myself in fact. time to grow up and take responsibility. you can do it.... if you are forced to. i hope this explains why i can not assist you in any way.
 
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cousins wedding last weekend   
11:43am 24/06/2003
 
mood: amused
so Thursday night i met my parents at towne after i got out of work. semi tense dinner and then back to my apt. to crash. i fell asleep some time after 3 and woke up at quarter to 5. showered, put my things in the jeep and we left here around 6. dropped my car off for more repairs on the way. stopped twice and arrived in dayton around 2. could not sleep on the way. fathers cursing at traffic and construction kept waking me every time i started to doze off. got to the crown plaza, changed and headed off to the rehearsal. rehearsal went fine. started talking to the grooms cousin. turns out we had been at a bunch of the same events when we were teenagers and never met each other. ummmmm, two days around southern boys (grooms family is from tennessee), though most were very religious. my mother kept complaining and making me button up my sweater... because my navy dress showed too much cleavage. the rehearsal dinner was very nice and i drank so much. lost track after the 9th drink. spent time with my 2nd and 3rd cousins. after the rehearsal my dad took us to a bar and my mother, 3rd cousin and myself kept drinking. after waking up at 7 the next morning we had a huge breakfast. i have learned that my 2nd and 3rd cousins and myself actually get along well and all dislike our family equally!!!!! then it was wedding time. my cousin looked ok. the service was ok. hours of pictures. then off to the reception. band, dinner, dancing (my dad made me dance with him, though it was worth it because he told me he was proud of me.... and that i only get to hear once every 12 years). drank a good amount at the reception, my father decided i was more social when i drink, so he kept bringing me wine, sours, and manhattans :) hehehehehe..... alcohol the only thing that brings my family together. at the reception i saw him there, i knew i would. for the first time i had no regret. i had my chance when i was 16. i messed it up then. but when i saw him, i remembered the good and i knew this was how it needed to be. he was not who i needed him to be. he was my linton and time has changed things. i will refuse to make catherine's mistake (sorry, too many wuther heights references). i headed back to my room after the band started playing nelly. it was most definitely not getting hot in there. tried to sleep. couldn't so around 3 i went for a walk in the general area of the hotel. came back and watched war movies and walked on the tread mill. fell asleep around 4. up at 5:30 and drove home. grandmother rode with us back. had lunch at the gate and came home to sleep. family headed back to my home town. guess the wedding ran upwards of 70,000. that is insane if you ask me. but then again... no one did. so now i'm home and grateful to be back.
 
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11:42am 24/06/2003
 
mood: amused
You like to be in control, by keeping the man where he belongs...on the bottom!!
Girl On Top


What Sexual Position Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
 
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03:38pm 16/06/2003
 
mood: busy
just a quick update. i have become a chicken sluvaki junkie. love the stuff a little too much. my apt. is coming together so nicely. loving it. i got my new fridge today! w00t w00t. you could fit my old fridge in the freezer compartment of this one!
 
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