jason's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]

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[13 Oct 2007|12:34am]
[ mood | melancholy ]

why do i feel like this tonight? i feel alone and insignificant. i know i shouldnt and that it is silly of me but still.

this evening, i felt as tho no one would listen to me. my own mother and sister didnt acknowledge the plans that i thought had been made. the girl and dude at the center, they barely recognized my presence. only one of the kids even noticed. am i becoming invisible? its just strange that all this happens in oe day... maybe i am invisible.....

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[24 Sep 2007|09:47pm]
yeah mom. make me feel better about my day and myself by bitching at me about my car. and how i'm not responsible enough to take care of it. first of all, i havent been driving the thing for two months! secondly, i would have gotten it check out and fixed except that all my money is going towards car PAYMENTS, gas, and food. i dont have any left after that.....

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[22 Sep 2007|12:17am]
i feel like playing in traffic.........
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[13 Sep 2007|03:28am]
i feel horribly alone in this world. it seems that i am one of the only people alive who doesn't think that sex should be part or a relationship before marriage. i have found that much out the hard way and have learned from it. but really?

as i said earlier today, i guess i have too many values for today's society....
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[02 Sep 2007|03:07am]
im trying to decide if it's worth it or not... i just dont know. i want it to be worth it. i want it to be so bad. this just hurts.
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[28 Aug 2007|11:06pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

i feel horrifyingly lonely tonight for some reason...........

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[20 Aug 2007|11:58pm]
[ mood | discontent ]

alright. i held back. i dont know how long i can do that... if i keep this up, i'm going to unconsciously reach over and kiss her without even thinking about it... and that will be bad. i dont know how she'll react but it probably wont be pretty........ what should i do? i kept myself from it this evening. i came so close to slipping and catching her right in the mouth. but i didnt. but as i said, i cant do that forever.
i may lose more than a friend over this...............

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[16 Aug 2007|09:03pm]
is it ok to want to fall into nonexistance?
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[11 Aug 2007|12:41am]
[ mood | melancholy ]

now, why the hell does she have a boyfriend? i mean, really? when is it my turn to have a great girlfriend like that? it's just not fair. cut me an effing break...

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[29 May 2007|10:32pm]
ya know what... fuck this
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[18 May 2007|01:50am]
She is a very selfish person. She lives by the motto "I am who I am. You can either accept it move on." She is unwilling to change for anyone. She makes descisions based upon what she wants and only that. It does not matter what anyone else thinks. She does not consider anyone but herself when she does things. She refuses to acknowledge the way others will feel about what she does. Her actions impact so many others and yet she does not care. She doesn't care what others think, how they feel, even if they are worried about her. She does not care if what she does will affect others in any way. If that isn't a selfish way to live, then I do not know what is...
I can't imagine it. Others' emotions are what keep me going. I cannot NOT worry about what others feel. If they have a problem with what I'm doing, I take that into consideration and more often than not, I will refrain from the action.
She just doesn't care.

It frustrates me.
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[16 May 2007|11:25pm]
i really hate it when my mood goes from great to suck in a matter of minutes...
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[11 May 2007|12:28pm]
i want Tifa Lockheart as my girlfriend.
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[11 May 2007|09:18am]
i'm getting sick of all the pretty, untouchable faces...
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[05 May 2007|06:01pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

bleh. i'm home alone tonight with nothing to do. (translation: i'm really lonely tonight for some reason) i want someone to hang out with but at the same time, i kinda just want to go to sleep. i wish someone would call me and invite me out of my den.

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[29 Apr 2007|01:05pm]
[ mood | empty ]

yup. i think it's about time i died again. not physically, of course. but emotionally. mentally. i've always know it hurts a whole lot less if you just don't feel at all.

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[27 Apr 2007|12:44am]
do not want
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Don't Close Your Eyes [25 Apr 2007|12:18am]
don't close your eyes.
it only helps you visualize
the things you don't want to think about

don't close your eyes
i hope you realize
that things arent the way you wished

don't close your eyes
the darkness defies
all better reason and thought

don't close your eyes
develop alibis
for reasons to keep them open

don't close your eyes
just learn to disguise
what your heart really wants

don't close your eyes
tell yourself lies
that the visions are not true

don't close your eyes
your imagination relies
on the darkness of your mind

and so, keep open your eyes
and release your sighs
and go on living your lonely life
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[24 Apr 2007|01:46am]
[ mood | pessimistic ]

my head hurts, my heart hurts, my soul hurts. i am ready to run away from everything and leave it all behind. i'll change my name, sever all ties. become someone completely new. play life from a different angle. i would be ok with that...

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[17 Apr 2007|10:50am]
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