Blurty for Heather.
|Tuesday, October 7th, 2003|
djork XX: it's just a word.
djork XX: it doesn't mean anything
cheap cascade: but still....
cheap cascade: he made me say it. and that makes me hate him.
cheap cascade: but you know when you get to know people after .. 8 years and they become really predictable, and then all of a sudden they do something totally unlike them .... and it fucks your entire world
djork XX: what exactly did he do?
cheap cascade: i was just asking him stuff and he totally flipped out and called me and cussed at me (*gasp*)
cheap cascade: it's like whenever he gets bitched at by coach jackson he takes it out on me
cheap cascade: and it unnerves me
djork XX: OF COURSE
djork XX: that's not fair to you at all
djork XX: well dear- talk to him about it, tell him what a dick he's being and how it should stop. NOW.
cheap cascade: that's half the problem
cheap cascade: i'm too nice to him.
cheap cascade: and he already hung up on me.
djork XX: well that's shit
djork XX: i'm sorry
djork XX: but maybe you should ignore him for a few days
djork XX: make him wonder why, have him get vulnerable and be like bitch you make a ho feel like shit, so now you gon' die.
djork XX: or something
cheap cascade: i've tried to be super nice since he had his wreck and before i fucked things up by asking questions we were having a heart-to-heart about how things would have been if he had died friday ...
cheap cascade: it was very emotional of him
cheap cascade: and me
djork XX: i could imagine
djork XX: how would that fuck things up though?
cheap cascade: i don't know. it didn't seem like a big deal to me until he started cussing, bc he never cusses
cheap cascade: but they were questions like have you ever gone commando ? ever tried sushi? shit like that..
djork XX: yeah.. that doesn't seem like a big deal at all.
djork XX: i know you don't want to hear this.
djork XX: but screw cameron. not literally. but really. if he's going to be a dick to you- don't talk to him, until the bastard apologizes.
cheap cascade: i hate it when others make a big deal out of nothing. esp. after a day of feeling like shit ...
cheap cascade: and then a night of being told that i am shit
*****But in the morning
on the sober dawn of Sunday
you're not sure what you have done
Who told you love was fleeting?
Sometimes men can be so misleading
to take what they need from you
Whatever you need to make you feel
like you've been the one behind the wheel
the sunrise is just over that hill
the worst is over
Whatever I said to make you think
that love's the religion of the weak
this morning we love like weaklings
the worst is over.
|Sunday, October 5th, 2003|
Nostalgia is the worst feeling in the world.
wishing for something you once had, but can never have again.
god, it sucks.
|Tuesday, September 30th, 2003|
BHSTALIA: so what's the deal with u and the drewsta? r u together or not? I GET SO CONFUSED
cheap cascade: no. god no.
BHSTALIA: I THOUGHT U WERE
cheap cascade: everyone and their mom thinks we are
cheap cascade: but it will never be
BHSTALIA: and why aren't u?
cheap cascade: bc ....
cheap cascade: that would just be creepy.
cheap cascade: i dunno ... it just would.
BHSTALIA: i thought u two were so together, but jsut fightin the feeling
cheap cascade: uh....
cheap cascade: i want to agree ... but not.
BHSTALIA: I AM RIGHT
cheap cascade: i don't know.
cheap cascade: sarah and casey have a theory ...
cheap cascade: (and this is good)
cheap cascade: that drew is so against me and cameron hanging out, bc
cheap cascade: a) he doesnt want his two best friends to hook-up bc then we would ignore him
BHSTALIA: no not a
cheap cascade: and b)bc he's jealous of cameron [which i dont think is true]
BHSTALIA: DEFINATELY B
cheap cascade: casey calls him the green-eyed monsta
BHSTALIA: that he is
cheap cascade: but i dont think so
BHSTALIA: why did he not go to the house of waffles the other night?
cheap cascade: i think cameron's more jealous of him, bc i tell drew everything, but i watch what i say around cameron
cheap cascade: BC HE HAD STREP
BHSTALIA: i get the connections now
cheap cascade: i swear cameron's in love with me
BHSTALIA: either way, ur going to marry one of them
BHSTALIA: so u should go ahead and pick on
cheap cascade: and i was thinking about it last night, and whenever the two of us are departing i always say i hate you and he screams i love you
cheap cascade: he woke his parents up once bc he was screaming i love you
BHSTALIA: hahahahaha.....i love telling ppl I hate them
BHSTALIA: he definately loves u
cheap cascade: and he tells me all the football jokes that are supposed to stay secret
BHSTALIA: u 2 shall wed
BHSTALIA: that's it
cheap cascade: BUT
BHSTALIA: marriage shall come
cheap cascade: i asked this question in my 4th period : if the mafia was going to kill you if you didnt marry someone tomorrow, who would you marry?
cheap cascade: drew said he would marry me, so he could save me from the mafia and we could run away
cheap cascade: and i said : ALEX WRIGHT 4 LYFE
|Monday, September 29th, 2003|
cheap cascade: time for ELROD gossip
cheap cascade: now ... he is currently dating a one small-chested shenina hardy, however, he is coveted by a one rebounding celia jones, who was dumped by jeremy searcy last tuesday, so he could get the hook-up with kim walker
BHSTALIA: well well well
BHSTALIA: let me tell u some more about elrod
cheap cascade: hit me with it
BHSTALIA: he was going to go back out with his long time g/f amber ashby...
BHSTALIA: they had arranged thins
BHSTALIA: while she was preparing herself for a reuinion....he had obviously FORGOT about dating shenina..so he was going to get the hookup with them both
cheap cascade: oh ....
cheap cascade: well, amber ashby was the third party that caused the definite breakup of lance and madison, so ... i don't like her
BHSTALIA: he is a playa like no other
cheap cascade: he called me hon in the hallway friday
cheap cascade: i was creeped out
BHSTALIA: she was dating michael while she did the dirty with lance
cheap cascade: like woah ?
BHSTALIA: oh yes
cheap cascade: then why would micheal want to get back with her?
BHSTALIA: he cheated on her too, with Katie Beaver
cheap cascade: so .... THEY DID IT ?
BHSTALIA: multiple times
cheap cascade: him and k-t beaver ??
BHSTALIA: they went out the WHOLE summer
BHSTALIA: so that was more sexage
cheap cascade: dayumm
cheap cascade: that's disgusting
BHSTALIA: it sho is
cheap cascade: EWUH
BHSTALIA: i know
BHSTALIA: i vomit all of the time, just thinking about it
BHSTALIA: i like gossiping with u
BHSTALIA: tis fun
|Saturday, September 27th, 2003|
I woke up. My throat was burning. And it was raining. I'm pretty sure the windows are down.
djork XX: aklfjaslkfjslkfjd for being late yesterday???? AHHH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT PUMPKINFACEMONKEYHEADLOVESUGARASS. i needed to catch up on my book anyways.
I'm so incredibly sorry, dearie. really, I felt so horrible yesterday.
At school, Wes once again tortured me with the glade. I was later told I smelled like the women's department of JC-Penny's.
so ... strawberries and cream, i guess. Trent was depressed, and it was sad. I didn't have any hope either. The highlight of my day was seeing MADISON (
Since one of the touchdowns for North Jackson didn't count ... we only lost by 11 points. After sorta-sleeping/nestling on the way home, I went to ... someone's house, then to the winn dixie parking lot (to see TiffTiff's boyfriend spinning donuts),and then finally to WAFFLE HOUSE with Cameron.
Natalia and Brad Jonez almost had to throw down after he dissed her jelly face.
So, I took Kevin home, and ran over someone's pet. or pet rock. I was on my way home, when I got a call saying "were you serious about never wanting to go home again?". So, he picked me up, and we cruised in the cressida until about 3. and it was great.
Cameron has to work tonight. He should just quit. He can't be making that much cash at Food Valu anyways.
|Sunday, September 21st, 2003|
CKirnes23: hey are u ok?
cheap cascade: what do you mean, am i ok??
CKirnes23: after hulsey almost hit u the other night?
cheap cascade: i don't remember that ....
CKirnes23: when you dropped me off and you were pulling out of my driveway...
cheap cascade: my near-collison with brett white was worse
cheap cascade: i do remember spinning in someones yard shortly after dropping you off tho
CKirnes23: i was just concerned
cheap cascade: mmhmm
CKirnes23: how long were u @ arbys
cheap cascade: i ended up not going...
cheap cascade: bc i stopped by mike's .....
cheap cascade: and spent a considerable amount of time there b4 i realized i had to be home
CKirnes23: cause me and hulsey and searcy and brad jones and cory gaught went to wallfe house
cheap cascade: ...................
cheap cascade: AND YOU DIDN'T INVITE ME ??
cheap cascade: i live for waffle house
CKirnes23: well, first we decided 2g2 the 5th quarter, but when we got there, it was over, but the people ther gave us free food left over and we ate that and then we went 2 waffle house and ate there and messed with a bunch of drunks that came in there later
cheap cascade: i love waffle house ....
cheap cascade: and drunks
CKirnes23: the drunks kept asking us to dance too the music on the jukebox and they would give us some money.
CKirnes23: i wish you would have been there
cheap cascade: oh?
CKirnes23: yeah, i wanted to see you for more than just the ride home
|Wednesday, September 17th, 2003|
djork XX: djork XX (6:45:44 PM): so matt, i hear you're fucking heather?
MrSelfDestructMM (6:45:49 PM): am I?
djork XX (6:46:00 PM): that's obviously what you like to tell people
djork XX (6:46:07 PM): i just thought it was funny because heather didn't even know
MrSelfDestructMM (6:46:16 PM): I didn't even know either
djork XX (6:46:27 PM): ohh.. so you didn't tell anyone that heather wanted to fuck you?
djork XX: i'm not going to say natalias name
RizzoGurl: omg omg
djork XX: MrSelfDestructMM (6:46:54 PM): I don't think I did
djork XX (6:47:22 PM): well you should look into this.. becuase people like to say it.. and then they tell heather.. and then heather tells me.
djork XX: MrSelfDestructMM (6:47:52 PM): why don't people tell me these things
djork XX: me and jess talked for a while the other night
djork XX: sin adam
djork XX: it was nice..
djork XX: kinda causual, which was great
djork XX: i don't know. it was casual enough for me to say this to her:
djork XX: djork XX (10:54:08 PM): There's something else i wanted to say to you. Look, I know that things between you and I are pretty much beyond repair right now, and I wouldn't presume to be able to solve everything with a conversation because that's just not the way it works... But... I've been wanting to tell you that Im sorry,Jessica. I'm really sorry for the way everything went down this summer, for my part in it, and for the pain that it must have caused you, and... I'm really sorry that I ruined our friendship because I miss it badly, and uh, however far off it may be, I do look forward to the day when you and I might be friends again. So, until then.
djork XX (10:54:16 PM): COOKING?
djork XX: YUM YUM NASTY (10:55:37 PM): but in response.
YUM YUM NASTY (10:59:35 PM): i mean, i miss it too. but you lied to me so many times about huge things. i know it was all due to one fact. but what's to keep me from thinking you won't do it again? it's safe to say you won't ever have my trust again. but you do understand, and you were the first to actually have an interest in me rather than say victoria who called me to let me know about nic *which is probably what i sounded like to you, but it's good on the other side* , i've said it before, i can't be friends with you again. i won't allow myself to get that close. but dave mentioned something along the lines of 'what's the harm in talking'? and there is no harm.
djork XX: djork XX (11:00:36 PM): you're absolutely right
djork XX (11:00:46 PM): i agree with everything you've said
djork XX (11:00:50 PM): hell, i wouldn't trust me.
djork XX (11:01:19 PM): but if you ever want to talk about anything serious like this.. i'm waiting with a hallmark card and box of oreos.
djork XX (11:01:41 PM): and i dont think it's like how you explained the victoria and nick thing
YUM YUM NASTY
djork XX: YUM YUM NASTY (11:01:50 PM): haha. well that's good to know.
djork XX: but before all that, we laughed and talked normal like
I am so gonna try and make a poser d.i.y. copy of this freakin belt.
andrea, michela ... and POHL.
It's the simple stupid things that make my day.
webcams are fun.
|Sunday, September 14th, 2003|
gaylordfocker. i can't escape the drama.
Infected badger: when i got home you were off
Infected badger: and adam had called
Infected badger: should i call him back?
RizzoGurl: oh really
Infected badger: i can't take being yelled at
RizzoGurl: um.... he's gonna yell at you
RizzoGurl: A LOT
Infected badger: yep.
Infected badger: and get this
Infected badger: on my way home from madisons
Infected badger: i passed jessica
Infected badger: how weird is that
RizzoGurl: did she wave ... ???
RizzoGurl: heh.... i guess not
Infected badger: well it's his damn fault as much as it is mine
Infected badger: no.
Infected badger: she looked at me though
Infected badger: and i was crying
Infected badger: so that's kinda weird
RizzoGurl: i think she knows you're sincerely sorry
Infected badger: really?
Infected badger: because i don't think she does
ugh.... so much can happen in one or two nights.
god sometimes i just dont know how to feel about anything.
i honestly cant tell when some1 is lying to my face.
someone who is know for being a liar.
but yet i still want to trust her.
bc she says nice and funny things.
and because she confides in ME.
djork XX: i love you so much heather
RizzoGurl: why did you decide to tell ME this anyways?
djork XX: you're a really good friend.
djork XX: because. i know you're a really smart girl- and you'll give me good honest advice and tell me pretty much whatever you think, with being sensitive to my feelings
djork XX: and you know me
djork XX: and you know jess
djork XX: and you could just give more insight than say- madison
djork XX: because she doesn't know jess at all
djork XX: and i know you wouldn't just bullshit me
djork XX: that you would actually care
i just don't know what to think.
so many lies.
so much fakeness.
god i hate how people can be sometimes.
RizzoGurl: cant you just .... forgive and forget ??
YUM YUM NASTY: no.
RizzoGurl: why is this ???
YUM YUM NASTY: why is this everyone else's buisness anyways? i'm pretty sure it's between me and layla...and adam. i have my reasons, and that's all i need.
RizzoGurl: im not saying its my business...
RizzoGurl: im just saying .... be .. reasonable
YUM YUM NASTY: well don't give me advice when you don't even know half the shit.
RizzoGurl: oh but i do
YUM YUM NASTY: i'm not trying to be all anal. it just happens naturally. it just pisses me off when people think they know what they're talking about.
YUM YUM NASTY: oh..but you don't.
christ - I KNOW MORE ABOUT IT THEN SHE FUCKING DOES.
~Having friends that will use their cards to get you into some1 else's pool
~Having friends that WANT to sit with you while you do your laundry
~Making planz with others and actually following thru with them
~Making planz that are so outrageous you could never go thru with them
~my new icon
~the postal service
~Koolaid Slushies Mixed with Vanilla Ice Cream
~the BACK N TYME store
~champagne from a paper cup
~coming really close to getting kicked out of a resturant and then bolting out the door before the manager gets *too* pissed
~hot sauce and flip-flop fights
~ when i am the only one who remembers other's drunken adventures
~the faking of anything by anyone
~roaches and their love for me
~the smell of horses
~The new hole in the ass of my jeans
~That I must learn tomorrow
~The insta-shock of cold weather
~That I cannot make my own clothes
~trying to believe in something you know isn't true but still wanting to have that feeling of faith in others
~telling myself something just so i can get by
~ when ppl say "nunya beezwax"
|Saturday, September 13th, 2003|
Whatever poison is in this bottle will leave me broken sore and stiff But it's the genie at the bottom who I'm sucking at He owes me one last wish So here's a present to let you know I still exist I hope the next boy that you kiss has something terribly contagious on his lips I got a plan
Drink (drift) for forty days and forty nights A sip for every second-hand tick And for every time you fed me the line, “you mean so much to me...” I'm without you So tell all the English boys you meet about the American boy back in the states The American boy you used to date Who would do anything you say
And even if her plane crashed tonight she'll find some way to disappoint me, by not burning in the wreckage,
or drowning at the bottom of the sea “Jess, I still taste you, thus reserve my right to hate you.” And all this empty space that you create does nothing for my flawless sense of style
It's 8:45 The weather is getting better by the hour I hope it rains there all the time
And if you ever said you miss me then don't say you never lied. I'm without you. So tell all the English boys you meet,... Okay, no more songs about you. After this one I'm done. You're gone. You're never gonna get it right.
|Thursday, September 11th, 2003|
I don't really feel like updating.
But i will anyways.
Bc I'll feel guilty all day tomorrow.
Today : developed a love for conic sections.
developed a hatred matt massey.
.... ate chicken ....
got in a 20 minute fight with cameron over RAISINS. (BC as every1 knows dried up grapes are valid argument material.)
watched the hairy/sweaty/uncoordinated football team practice.
watched an EXTREMELY AMUSING fight that ensued between two freshmen.
got dryhumped by steven tyler... and liked it.
had a flip-flop fight with Os.
twas a fairly normal day.
did 250 crunchies. ran approx. 3.5 laps.
|Tuesday, September 9th, 2003|
cameron is such a two-faced liar.
everyones asking me ....
"is he with someone else?"
" wtf happened to our class couple?"
"him and *gasp* A FRESHMEN?"
I myself had no idea what they were talking about.
so i asked him.
i face-to-face asked him for the truth.
and he lied.
IS IT JUST ME OR IS EVERY1 DRINKIN HATORADE FOR BREAKFAST??
between cameron and trent and drew ....
i want all guys to die.
|Monday, September 8th, 2003|
this is what happened :
1) Erica ran into a tree and broke his nose.
2) The "Bucks got stuck"... 31-6.NOT MY QUOTE
3) Heather and Audrey converse in 3rd Block. Heather cries horribly.
4) Every1 in 4th block wrote my honor codes EXCEPT ME.
5) I found out that my #1 hero is a chainsmoking buick-driving loser.
6) the deano gives me his coffee.
7) nate spills my coffee.
8) HOW MANY PPL DOES IT TAKE TO SHOOT JFK ?"
9) NONE - HIS HEAD JUST DID THAT.
10) ^ Thank you Trent/Alex/Brent.
11) Brent is greata than Ethiopia.
12) I called Ethiopia's 1 number - just for giggles.
13) Tom makes me cry.
14) I curse at a faculty werker in front of Mr.Smith.
15) I then refuse to lie about it.
16) Mr. Smith and I have a date - to plan my suspension.
17) Heather and Keavy compare chest sizes.
18) I made Brent and Matt my cumguzzling bitches.
19) Lori's bday party @ the palace of pins ~ didn't go as planned.
20) Jeremy Searcy and Heather are now OFFICIALLY friends. even tho I cannot stand him...
21) the concert tonight - also didn't go as planned.
22) James wasn't at work tonight. I still stalked around ae anyway.
23) so... we were in best buy. nate was playin on da keyboard... he SUPRISINGLY burst out with the tom pettyness. I love to discover other's hidden talents. it makes me smile. :D
24) bc of chingy, I couldn't hear the truck behind me honking and the driver screaming, prolly bc i was backing up and stopped about 4 inches in front of him. damn that we-up.
25) master's g/f is still alive. i hate my life.
why does this damn my hero song make me want to cry.
these things i do not understand.
better yet - guys i do not understand.
them or their shitty music.
nirvana is not god.
dave grohl is not god.
close, but not.
close only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades.
GOD, I WANT HIM SO BAD.
wasted and ready.
yeah i know - angst, angst, angst.
|Monday, September 1st, 2003|
I wish Cameron would return from Tennesee. I would very much love to talk with him.
I went shopping this evening....BLEW ALL MY MONEY.
why do i always do that?
BROOKIE is pissed that i missed her birthday bash/seance.
i dont really give a fuck.
audi saw a sign for ROONEY DR. & she didn't steal it for me.
what a GREAT FRIEND.
|Sunday, August 31st, 2003|
You've got some nerve I never knew. I hope the next girl that you kiss has something terribly contagious on her lips. I trusted misleading promises worth repeating. If it's a lie, I don't want to be the one who fell for your words full of sin.
My life is full of mistakes.
I had one of those nights. One of those nights where you are just that pissed, to the point where you don't want to here whatever shits playing on the radio, even if its your favorite song. I just went home and hung around the kitchen and felt uncool. i had 4 parties i had promised to attend. and yet i never made it to any of them.( YUM YUM NASTY: you are the most popular girl EVER, alas i had one..which makes me so less cool. ) thanx for that jess. however, my social life is still a wreck thanks to:
mi abuela. selfish selfish me.
i miss out on so much. i have one year left. one year. of him. and then ..... he's gone.
last night was one of those nights.
Blurty for Heather.