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Name: Richard Dobbins Age:30 Birthday: January 7th Girlfriend: The Marvelous Bitterfly Hobbies: Guitar, Reading, computers, weightlifting, expanding my mind, writing poetry and odd tales. Goals: To own a motorcycle, to become more compassionate, to be a better father, and become a better man all around. Favorite Quote "Fuck em if they can't take a joke and joke em if they can't take a fuckin" Unknown
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Everyone pretty much has move to Livejournal and well Blurty is just dead as a door nail. So you can read about the insanity I call life over at livejournal under the same username I have here.
Last night was a "Call Cris" night I was suppose to go to sleep for a few hours and get up and go call her. Well I fell asleep and didn't wake up in time to call. I was pretty sure that she would not appreciate it if I called her at like 1 am or something like that. I hope she was not too pouty yesterday. Anyway, things are going okay. Been talking with my friend Liz online lately. Its been good catching up. She sent me pictures of her dog and two cats. Goodness they have gotten huge in the six months since I left. Seems like its been much longer than six months that I have been here. Well I guess cause I was in DC before coming here. Anyway gotta jet.
Cris and I had a very long conversation last night. It was very good and cleared the air on few things that were bothering me. Poor Cris I think at first she thought I was trying to break up with her. I could hear it in her voice. But it all ended up being a very good conversation and I think we both felt better after having it. It is so good to be involved with a woman that I can talk to that doesn't freak out whenever I bring up something that is bothering me. It's still very new for me and definitely takes some getting used too.
Okay sorry I haven't posted in a while but just nothing really going on. Work is work. Just been sleeping, eating, reading, and working. Still waiting on my laptop. They are trying to torture me. Everytime I order something that I really want it takes way longer than it should to get here. *sigh* I did get pictures of my little girls the other day. They are the cutest little girls in the whole world. I miss them with a passion. *another sigh* I noticed today that I am getting wrinkles by my eyes. Blah that sucks as if grey hair wasn't enough!!! Now this new item that makes me look old. *sighs again*
Not much to report. I was very tired last night and slept 13 hours. It felt good. Work gets more aggravating by the day. I am still reading like crazy. My birthday is in three days. I am going to be 31. Who would have thunk it? Still waiting for my laptop, they haven't even finished the build yet. Definitely not going to get it for my birthday. Been writing a fair bit too. Also researching trying to get some stuff published.
Okay a new year is upon us. I can't begin to tell you all how much better this year has been than the last. I am in a whole different world than where I was last year. Are things perfect? No. For one I wish I was closer to my girlfriend so we could hang out like normal people. Another I wish I was closer to my children too. These two things bother me the most out of all the things that bother me. I know one day everything will work out. I have faith that it will. I hope all of you out there in Blurtyland are having a great great New Year.
I was told I didn't get the new job I was suppose to get because I intimidate people. I think this is very funny. So now I am gonna try to be much more intimidating. The issue with the person from yesterday came up again. This time I played it different. I threw my chair on the floor and yelled "I don't know who you think you are but this holier than thou attitude is gonna go. So I suggest you go back into your office till you can treat me like a real human being." He got wided eyed and left to go to his office. Hehe...Sometime being a bit touched has its advantages. I feel a tiny bit better than I did yesterday. Although my eyes are watering like crazy and my knee is hurting badly. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow. I wanna make sure I don't have any parasites in my body. I am going to start taking some natural stuff for that. It is quite common over here.
I am so mad I could kill some mother fucking body. Some asshole that works for a three letter agency was being all smug and shit to me. I wanted to fuck him up something fierce. I told him to go talk to my boss and get out of my face before it got ugly. My boss got pissed off at him too. It probably doesn't help that I am sick today either. I am listening to some Rage Against the Machine trying to calm down. I fear I will have to go take a long walk before I can really calm down.
Today is one of those days. I would love to disembowel a few people that work for my company. I don't suck enough dick so I get fucked at getting good jobs and shit. I am way more talented than what I am doing and it really pisses me off. I often times wish I was less independent and would suck dick to get ahead. It certainly would make things easier. I am in tons of pain today. I am sick and working at the same time. Blargh... I almost choked to death on a sweet pea at dinner. So that has me hurting too. Today I wish there was someone here to hold me, I love it when someone holds me and plays with my hair. It is so relaxing and comforting. I could really use it.
There's a girl that I love
Damn it I am getting to that point again. I really want to grow my hair long. But I always get to this point where my hair looks fucked up for a bit and I want to cut it. If I just chill and let it go it will be the greatest hair in the world. Maybe I will shave the sides and do the Misfits thing. Hmmmmm. Well it offical I am getting sick. I feel like shit warmed over. I fell out of my bed last night and knocked my guitar over. Luckily there was no damage. I have decided on a name for my new guitar. Mona which is short for Monarch.
I so do love the fact Bitterfly is back online. I love reading her journal and reading her responses to what I write. It makes me happy. I hope I didn't scare anyone with what I wrote earlier today. I am delving into a bit of horror writing. I wanted it to be a bit Lovecrafty but I fear it is not. Not quite as twisted and strange. Well work today sucks ass I got mad at the dude that is in charge cause he told me to be quiet and listen. Now its coming back to haunt him, fucker. Guy's an idiot and I let him fall on his face so maybe he will listen to me next time I try to tell him something. Most of my day has consisted of fixing things other people have screwed up. I hate that. Do it right the first time then other people don't have to pick up for your slack. Buncha lazy good for nothing pee brained people. Sorry blowing off steam because I am a bit stressed out with people. Partly the reason I wrote what I did earlier too. Many times what I write reflects my moods. Very compassionate of me ain't it. Sometimes I fail horribly with the compassion thing. Got to get back to the grind...
Basically I did nothing. I did watch the movie Seabiscuit and it made me cry alot. I cried when I spoke to my children. I cried when I spoke to my mother and my grandmother. Its hard to be away from all the people you love at this time of the year. They are all so very dear to me and I would do anything for them. That goes for all my friends too. I love all of the people who are close to me and I hope you all have a wonderful and cheerful holiday season.
Yep its Christmas eve and I have no one to spend it with. I am all alone. I feel a little down too. My children and family are far far away. So is my girlfriend. So I am going to go home and mope around and just kill time and try to forget its Christmas. I bought the Fifth book in Stephen King's Dark Tower series. I love these books and this one is no exception so far it is kick ass. No one gave me any presents or cards today. I didn't even get any from my family. Oh well I guess I am out of site out of mind so they forget about me. My birthday is in 14 days, hopefully I will get my new laptop by then.
Anyone have any suggestions so far. I would like to hear them. If you don't see a new style refresh your browser.
I been coughing and its driving me crazy. I want to write today but I don't feel very motivated or creative. I played my guitar tonight and almost have "Smells like teen spirit" down. I know its a simple song but leave me alone. I been reading motorcycle magazines. I want a motorcycle really bad.
Well today was my day off I did about nothing. Read some magazines, played guitar, bought some Cherry RC's, Got a calendar....thats about it. Mind has been flooded with lots of thoughts lately. Mostly they are all about Cris. I think about her a lot through out the day. I layed in bed today and looked at her pictures for a long time today. I get all goosebumpey and butterflie when I think about her. I get scared at times that I will pull a Kyle and throw up when I meet her in March. My thoughts turning to sex a lot here lately too. *sigh* I am just a dirty old man.
Well we are going to get Christmas and New Years off. Yippee!!! I guess. Nothing to do but sit around my room and heckle the clown. I learned some new scales on my guitar. I learned a Doors song too well at least one lick of it. I am getting super antsy about my laptop. I wish it would get here soon but its still in the build stage. I had to get someone fired today. It sucks to have to do that. But when you don't do what you are suppose to then thats what happens.
Yep, been ordering presents all week and sending them out. I hope people like what I got them. If not then foo on them. I got my boots with the flames on them today. They are just kick ass to say the least. I worked out my chest today at the gym and did 30 minutes on the treadmill. Working out feels good in a kind of painful way. I talked to my children last night and man do I really miss them. I want to hug them like crazy. There are going to be some Christmas parties and such but I am not going. I am going to hole up in my room and try to forget its Christmas.
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