Crimson_Cuts' Blurty
 
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Below are the 17 most recent journal entries recorded in Crimson_Cuts' Blurty:

    Friday, May 21st, 2004
    4:13 pm
    Prom
    Prom is this Saturday. It will be fun because I'm not really worrying about Lacey and Calias. I'm just going to have fun with Audrey, Derick, Beccah and Justin. :) Eddie gets back on the 9th, that's so exciting! We might get back together..might. Right now we are just friends. But I told him that we would have to break up after summer. Because I want to be free when I go to college and I know he does as well but it would be super awesome if we could go out for the summer. I'm hoping before graduation, we can hang out but I know that he will probably be seeing alot of people so we might just wait until after graduation.
    Well I'm off to do my make-up n' sit. I'm going out with the ladies!

    **Bella**

    Current Mood: chipper
    4:07 pm
    I stole this from eddles
    1. Who are you?
    2. Are we friends?
    3. When and how did we meet?
    4. How have I affected you?
    5. What do you think of me?
    6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
    7. How long do you think we will be friends?
    8. Do you love me?
    9. Do you have a crush on me?
    10. Would you kiss me?
    11. Would you hug me?
    12. Physically, what stands out?
    13. Emotionally, what stands out?
    14. Do you wish I was cooler?
    15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
    16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
    17. Am I loveable?
    18. How long have you known me?
    19. Describe me in one word.
    20. What was your first impression?
    21. Do you still think that way about me now?
    22. What do you think my weakness is?
    23. Do you think I'll get married?
    24. What makes me happy?
    25. What makes me sad?
    26. What reminds you of me?
    27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
    28. How well do you know me?
    29. When's the last time you saw me?
    30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
    31. Do you think I could kill someone?
    32. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
    33. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
    34. Are you going to put this on your Blurty and see what I say about you?
    Friday, May 14th, 2004
    5:17 pm
    Flippin' out
    OMG! My prom date bailed on me. I have no prom date. I'm freakin' out. Who the hell am I gonna ask? I have one week? Any suggests leave a comment.

    **Bella**

    Current Mood: gloomy
    Thursday, May 6th, 2004
    9:17 am
    To Do
    So much to do so little time!
    School-8:00 to 2:00
    Go Home-2:15 to 3:30
    Lacey pick me up-4:00 to 5:00
    Go Home-5:00 to 6:30
    Erin pick me up-6:30-8:00

    Things I have to get
    1. Silver Shoes
    2. Silver Jewelery
    3. Fake Nails
    4. Jewels for nails
    5. Hairspray
    6. Hair Rollers
    7. White Dress
    8. White Shoes

    I don't think I will have enough money to pay for everything. :(
    Tomorrow is Friday and I'm mega excited! I get to sleep for as long as I want and then I will get picked up to go booty shakin' unless Billy and Eric and Kevin do come up then we will all hang out somewhere. The only thing I'm happy about is that I'm going to be able to sleep tomorrow! Yay!
    I wish I didn't have to stay in school until 2 but oh well. :(

    I'm outtie.

    *B.E.L.L.A*

    Current Mood: nerdy
    Tuesday, April 6th, 2004
    11:06 pm
    my life is filled with doctor's appointments and shrink appointments
    Today I did not attend school. I felt really bad....personal reasons. The normal parentals getting mad about it and blah blah blah. Promises I will break soon enough. Good new is I slept in until like 12. I got up and called Lacey and told her I was getting dressed. She came and got me and we went to borders and sat there until 1:30 and then made our way to St. Joe's to my doctor's appointment. That sucks shit. My wart has to be removed by some other "more experienced" doctor cause it's too deep. I still don't feel good...and plus and extra sad. I feel so alone. It's more of not being able to talk to anyone and I have no comfort from anyone. I dunno. I just really wanna call up one of my guyfriends or someone and just lay in bed with them and cuddle. nothing sexual. No strings attacted. I just want to talk and cuddle and be able to cry on someone. Things are so stressful right now. 2 months and I'm out of that school. I have to worry about college. What I am going to do about a job. And still about the prom (Still no date), graduation party, goign to Florida, money, apartment. Omg I'm just gonna die! And one top of tht I'm trying to hide my depression from everyone. My heart is still in a million pieces and all I really wanna do right now is call up Eddie and talk to him. Not talk but really talk. Tell him everything. It just hurts so much that it's like he doesn't even care. I've never ever ever been this head over heels for a person so much. I just wish I could take all the stars in the sky and give them to him or write down everything I feel but it's just too much. It's so much and I can't possibly get it all out. I can rely on him so much well I could. I just really want to see him. I want to just sit down and talk. I wanna hug him and I wanna smile at him and just kiss him. It's driving me insane. I'm so sad without him but I'm trying to hold on. I want to be with him but he's not ready. It hurts like a bitch but I have to deal...but I really do'nt want to. I sit late at night in my bed wishing and hoping he will just call me out of the blue and just say he loves me and wants to work things out. I dream of him just showing up at my house and just hugging me so tightly and take me somewhere to talk.
    Hopeless that'e me.....

    **Belle**

    Current Mood: depressed
    Current Music: Daniel Bettingfield "If your not the one"
    Friday, April 2nd, 2004
    9:05 am
    Research Paper
    I spent all my time last night on the computer typing my research paper. I never want to see the damn thing again. I finished it but I still had to e-mail it to the libririans and do my work citied page. :( I'm just so sick of it. Tonight I'm giong to the Bounty. I'm sortah excited but not. Becca is gonna confront Lacey about Calias which I feel she should do to the fact that Calias doesn't like Becca at all. But I guess Becca feels that she owns Calias. And besides Lacey and Calias are only friends. I think it's really al bullshit. I'm just sick of all the drama. I'm getting sick of Billy too. He "Dumped " Lacey for Anah who came back to him and then found out she was only cheating on him and said that he wanted to come up for Lacey's birthday. I feel like he's just playing her big time. I mean I do love Billy but It's like Lacey is a back-up girl and I can't tell Lacey this cause she is madly in love with Billy and is making all these plans to have him move back up here and have us three get an apartment which I will admit does sound fun but it will never happen. Anah will want Billy back and Billy will take Anah back cause he loves her. It's just kinda pathetic. And once again Lacey will come crying to me and I pick up the pieces. Grrr. I'm getting sick of that one BIG time.

    **Bella**

    Current Mood: bitchy
    Wednesday, March 10th, 2004
    3:40 pm
    Great day
    So today was a great day. I got up around 9 and Lacey picked me up and we went to Maine Tatoo in Brewer and I got my nose pierced. It hurt like hell! But aside from that Billy called us and on Lacey's birthday Eric (My man) and Billy (Her man) are coming up and I'm so excited. I miss My eric sooooo bad! After graduatation We are going to go down to South Cali and live there with Eric and Billy. I'm pretty excited due to the fact that I'm totally in love with Eric.

    For Lacey's party, all four of us are getting a hotel room and just get drunk off our asses and party. It's going to be fun because back in Jan. for my birthday and we did the samething and it was soooo fun! :)

    I'm outtie!
    **Bella**

    Current Mood: cheerful
    Thursday, March 4th, 2004
    3:58 pm
    Jackasses
    Yah so I was up half the night listening to this Philp Henry show on the radio and I was listen to this jackass who is a doctor called in saying that he was divorced and had a new person in his life. He also referred to his girlfriend as Tracy and made everyone call her Tracy and not his girlfriend because it was disrepectful. He and "Tracy" have this theory that is called "The Bad News Theory." This was all brought on by Tracy. When the doctor's 16-year-old daughter broke curfew, "Tracy" brought the eldest daughter into another room and explained to her that her own mother (the doctor's ex wife) was an alcoholic. This he says is a punishment and the children don't even know it is a punishment. Awhile later, the youngest daughter lost two sweaters at school that her father bought from her and "Tracy" took her aside and told her that her mother had had an abortion. This is tramitizing for the children to hear these vicious things about their own mother whom they live with on a regular basis. The doctor only sees his daughters two weeks out of each month. So callers could call in and talk to this jackass and this 13-year-old girl called in and said her parents were divorced and that her mother was an alcoholic. The doctor asked her who had told her that her mother was an alcoholic and she replied her own mother did. Then she was trying to make a point of that by saying these tramitizing things to his daughters or anyone for that matter can cause a child to go into therapy for life. He then told this girl who was only 13 that if she was his child that he would push her into traffic and then asked her what she did to make her parents get a divorce. This guy was totally out of content to say that to a 13 year old. He was extremely crazy. Everything he talked about was about "Tracy." I seriously wanted to call in and just ream his ass out. He was full of shit and thought that this 23 year old was god, when he is 53 years of age and more knowledgeable then she ever could be. He also said that she babysat which gave her so much reason to disipline his daughters. This guy is such a jackass and he should seriously be shot in the head. And I feel so unbelieveably bad for his poor daughters who have to here such personal and upsetting things about their mother that are coming from their father's "Piece of meat" that he called her himself. I seriously would rather seem them stay with their mother and loose all visitation rights of them and die in hell. And he thinks "Tracy" is his soulmate but she is going to get sick of him real quick whether her friends think she's dumb for being with someone emotionally and sexual who is 30+ years older than her. That's sick not to mention insane! Or she will just get utterly sick of him cause he will get really old and wrinkly and she will want some hot young guy to fuck and if she isn't already cheating on him. Or she is pulling the whole Anna Nicole thing where she married him for his money and is waiting until he dies which if there is a god sometime soon!
    Okay rant over! :)

    *Shelle*

    Current Mood: thoughtful
    Current Music: New Radicals "Someday We Will Know"
    Monday, March 1st, 2004
    8:40 pm
    stupid shit
    A is for AGE: 18
    B is for BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND: Gary
    C is for CAREER IN FUTURE: Psychologist or Social Worker
    D is for DAD'S NAME: Ron
    E is for ESSENTIAL ITEM TO BRING TO A PARTY: Sminoff Triple Black or Raspberry Twisted
    F is for FAVOURITE SONG AT THE MOMENT: Eamon "Fuck It (Don't Want You Back)
    G is for GUY/GIRLS YOU'VE KISSED: too many guys and too many girls
    H is for HOMETOWN: Hermon
    I is for INSTRUMENTS YOU CAN PLAY: nope
    J is for JOB TITLE: Student
    K is for KIDS: none
    L is for LIVING ARRANGEMENT: mom, dad, fish, 3 cats
    M is for MOM'S NAME: Barb
    N is for NUMBER OF PEOPLE YOU'VE SLEPT WITH: 0
    O is for OVERNIGHT HOSPITAL STAYS: 1
    P is for PHOBIAS: being clean
    Q is for QUOTE YOU LIKE: "Michelle has hell in it. That means I'm the devil" -me
    R is for RELATIONSHIP THAT LASTED THE LONGEST: 1 yr
    S is for SEXUAL POSITION: my legs on his shoulders. it seems fun
    U is for UNIQUE TRAITS: Painting my nails funky colors.
    V is for VEGETABLE YOU LOVE: Broccili
    W is for WORST HABIT: Biting my nails, OCD
    X is for XRAY'S YOU'VE HAD: 3
    Y is for YUMMY FOOD YOU MAKE: Mac n' Cheese, Ramien Noodles.
    Z is for ZODIAC SIGN: Capricorn
    8:40 pm
    stupid shit
    A is for AGE: 18
    B is for BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND: Gary
    C is for CAREER IN FUTURE: Psychologist or Social Worker
    D is for DAD'S NAME: Ron
    E is for ESSENTIAL ITEM TO BRING TO A PARTY: Sminoff Triple Black or Raspberry Twisted
    F is for FAVOURITE SONG AT THE MOMENT: Eamon "Fuck It (Don't Want You Back)
    G is for GUY/GIRLS YOU'VE KISSED: too many guys and too many girls
    H is for HOMETOWN: Hermon
    I is for INSTRUMENTS YOU CAN PLAY: nope
    J is for JOB TITLE: Student
    K is for KIDS: none
    L is for LIVING ARRANGEMENT: mom, dad, fish, 3 cats
    M is for MOM'S NAME: Barb
    N is for NUMBER OF PEOPLE YOU'VE SLEPT WITH: 0
    O is for OVERNIGHT HOSPITAL STAYS: 1
    P is for PHOBIAS: being clean
    Q is for QUOTE YOU LIKE: "Michelle has hell in it. That means I'm the devil" -me
    R is for RELATIONSHIP THAT LASTED THE LONGEST: 1 yr
    S is for SEXUAL POSITION: my legs on his shoulders. it seems fun
    U is for UNIQUE TRAITS: Painting my nails funky colors.
    V is for VEGETABLE YOU LOVE: Broccili
    W is for WORST HABIT: Biting my nails, OCD
    X is for XRAY'S YOU'VE HAD: 3
    Y is for YUMMY FOOD YOU MAKE: Mac n' Cheese, Ramien Noodles.
    Z is for ZODIAC SIGN: Capricorn
    Monday, February 23rd, 2004
    3:05 pm
    It's Monday
    Well it's monday and I don't go to school until tomorrow and then again until thursday. I'm pretty bummed. This is my first day I don't have anything to do. I'm feeling extremely bored. I haven't anything to do. I already cleaned my room twice. I've sorted my clothes, I've vaccumed, sorted all my draws, did homework and there isn't anything else to do...Damn I wish I still had my job. I would be at work now. I would have been there for over an hour now. Probably starting a project with the kids. Being happy. I miss those kids already. I hope it gets easier as the day progress. I've been having dreams about them all. I had one that I went there and there was someone else there and I helped out to like say "Hey i'm still good at this, your should hire me back." And I would love to work back at Levant again. But I wouldn't go back working there not after what happened to me. I think I might apply for unemployment.

    Shelle

    Current Mood: amused
    Tuesday, February 17th, 2004
    6:57 pm
    fuck offs
    I lost my job today. They were basically bad mouthing me. And my mother heard it all. We are sueing them. Fuck heads. I loved that job. Now I'm depressed and upset. I don't want to get another job. I'm soooooooooo upset. I want my Eddie here with me now. God I keep going back. I love him....I love him...Right?

    *18 year old with no job and no money*

    Current Mood: cranky
    Wednesday, February 11th, 2004
    11:27 am
    I guess time does tell
    Gary...We are together now...yah...it was awesome for about two weeks and then...he just stoppped it all. We are still together but he doesn't call me. I'm so upset. Ever since Misty stayed with him, he has not even called or anything. It really upset me cause I like him so much. He's so nice to me but I miss him so much.
    I told Eddie that we wree over and I feel like I lost all of myself. I miss the old Eddie not this new I'm-in-college. It pisses me off.

    *Michelle*

    Current Mood: bouncy
    Wednesday, January 28th, 2004
    10:05 am
    I did the worst thing in the world
    I trusted Gary. He was so sweet so nice. I knew I shouldn't have even kissed him. He was with Heather. Hint was. They broke up. that night was special. We had alot of fun. No we didn't have sex but we kissed and made-out. He held me just the way I wanted a guy to hold me and he was everything. And then he did it. He went back to her. I'm upset and broken hearted I think I need to cut. I know I need to cut. THe counsler meeting is soon. have to be there by 1 I don't want to go. Nothing will excape my mouth. I'm gonna hurt forever. Goddbye for now until I feel like writing.

    *Unhappy Girl with a broken heart**

    Current Mood: rejected
    Friday, January 23rd, 2004
    9:31 am
    Tomorrow is the day...
    Tomorrow is the day that he is leaving. I'm more sad then ever. I don't show it but I am. I haven't seen him for a week. I will see him leave. I'm scared. I'm upset. All I have been doing is crying. I wrote him a letter to read on the way to South Carolinia. Here it is.

    Eric,
    These past few weeks have been amazing with you! Being around you makes me so happy. Your a great guy and I like you alot. I know that you leaving is the best thing for you and I also know you have things to figure out in your life but I want you to know that there will always be a girl in Maine that will be waiting for you to come back! Remember the times we shared and don't forget about me, If you end up staying there then have a great time. I want the best for you and please don't think of me as an aquaintence but as a friend. I will misdst you like crazy and keep in touch! Be good and dream big!
    With Love,
    Shelle

    It makes me sad just reading it to myself but it came straight from my heart. Because Eric is the best thing that's happened to me since him....
    Monday, January 12th, 2004
    9:50 am
    I don't care and do not want to try to care.
    Why? Why can't it be different? I thought Friday night would be a great night. Eric and i would be able to spend time together. To just have fun for my birthday. I've told the story many times. I only told the truth to Lacey and to Cara. I didn't tell the truth to other's. I don't want them to know it all. It happened the night of Friday the 9th when we are all checked into the Motel 6. We meaning Nick, Cara, Sparky, Lacey, Josh, Eric, myself and Dennis. We were all partying and playing quaters and drinking and we all decided to go to bed. Dennis was on my bed along with Eric and I got into bed and I jumped in the middle and everything was fine. Eric and I were making out and he had his hands on my back which was fine and then he had one on my back and the other one was by my hand and I told him I felt two hands and he said it was nothing and then my bra became undone and I know for a fact the there was Dennis's hand on my back because it would be impossible for Eric to do that with one hand and the way it was done was my bra was pulled and then undone with two hands. I know. Needless to say I got up and went to the bathroom. Eric was telling everyone it was just him but I knew it wasn't just him. It was Dennis. I'm not mad at Eric or anything just mad at Dennis. He knows he isn't suppose to do that to me. And I know if I hadn't gotten up that he would have raped me because before that he was ontop of me trying to suck my nipples. The bed arrangement went like this Nick and Cara on floor by the foot of my bed, Dennis inbetween the two beds on the floor, Eric, myself and Sparky on the bed and Josh and Lacey on the other bed. In the morning Eric had to leave early cause his mom was picking him up to go to Belfast for a couple days and all of a sudden out of the blue he kissed me. I was sooo happy. :)
    Part of me shouldn't like Eric because he stole 30 dollars from Lacey but the other half of me likes him alot.
    ---------------------------------
    Bad things about him
    ---------------------------------
    He steals everything
    He flips out alot
    No job
    No car
    No money
    No life
    He drinks too much
    Smokes weed too much.
    ------------------------------------
    Good things about him
    -----------------------------------
    He makes me smile
    He's funny
    I love to cuddle with him
    He can be so sweet
    I love the way he rubs my fingers with his
    He pokes fun at me in a cute way
    He has a tongue ring
    He's sexy
    We can drink together
    He's always got weed
    Shares his weed with me
    Rolls me cigarettes if I need one


    I'm toren and I don't know what to do.

    Current Mood: blank
    Current Music: Stupid bitches beside me
    Friday, January 9th, 2004
    9:57 am
    Let's be intelligent!
    Freshman! Something about them! they are really really pathetic. In my study hall and all that there is in here is freshman. I'm the only senior in here. There is one really short dude that looks like she should still be in middle school and he has braces and VERY annoying and then there is this fat one who is extremely annoying who likes to hit and i've yelled at some many times. Then there is this really skinny girl with braces who is always talking a mile a minute and never shuts up. And then there is another skinny girl who never knows what the hell is going on and is clueless beyond believe. And then there is my personal favorite. The gothic one. Although she isn't gothic at all. She is currently wearing those bondage pants and some sort of preppy shit that is red. Everyone knows that gothics don't wear red! Her hair is really really grease and short. Really unkept and her make up it like she is a zombie. She reminds me of a mix between the two whores. Britney and Christinia. VERY bad!
    At the point now, it quiet. Everyone else went next door to play on the computers and to the bathroom. The little boys in here are making cups and staring at the floor. (Woopee fun!) and then Jason who is a Junior/Senior is doing a test. Lovely!

    Current Mood: loved
    Current Music: Stupid freshman
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