I'm telling you this so you can relax's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]
I'm telling you this so you can relax

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[26 May 2004|11:33am]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

I have no job and I have no idea what direction my life is headed in; however, lately I have been the happiest person in the world and that's all thanks to a certain someone. :) You know who you are, I love you so much!

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[18 Mar 2004|02:19pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

14 page report w/ title page, table of contents, summary, power point presentation, etc.

Shoot me!

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[15 Mar 2004|11:32pm]
[ mood | confused ]

X = true :

( ) crashed a friend's car
(X) lied to a friend
( ) snuck out of my parent's house
(X) been drunk
( ) smoked pot
( ) pissed on myself
( ) shoplifted
( ) been in a fist fight
( ) been arrested
(X) had a crush on a teacher
( ) gone on a blind date
(X) been dumped
(X) dumped someone
(X) kissed a member of the opposite sex
( ) kissed a member of the same sex
(X) made out with a stranger
( ) been caught masturbating
(X) had sex
( ) had sex in public
( ) had sex at the office
(X) had sex with a co-worker
(X) been tied up (sexually)
( ) had sex with a member of the same sex
( ) had a threesome
(X) been in love
( ) been married
( ) gotten divorced
(X) ridden in a taxi
(X) left the country
( ) been to Japan
(X) been to Europe
( ) celebrated New Years in Time Square
( ) celebrated Mardi-Gras in New Orleans
(X) stolen something from my job
( ) been fired
(X) graduated from High School
(X) skipped school
(X) been to college
( ) cut myself on purpose
(X) dyed my hair
( ) Shaved my Head
(X) gotten a piercing
( ) gotten a tattoo
( ) have thrown up in a bar
( ) have purposely set myself on fire
(X) eaten sushi
( ) been snowboarding
(X) been happy with myself
(X) met a movie star
( ) had sex in a pool
(X) went to a prom
( ) bungee jumped
(X) been to a pop concert
( ) dated someone for over a year
( ) sold naked pictures of myself
( ) been in a car accident
(X) had my heart broken
( ) had a one-night stand
( ) gotten into a car with a intoxicated driver
( ) kissed more than ten people in less than an hour
(X) met someone in person from the web [safely]

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This made me laugh - miss u guys ;) [02 Mar 2004|03:19pm]
[ mood | cold ]


This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.

This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"

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[09 Feb 2004|06:52pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

Fuck blurty. I'm off to livejournal - you can find me under the same name if you're interested. Take care everyone! :)

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Blurty needs to start working better before I go to LJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [05 Feb 2004|09:48am]
[ mood | loved ]
[ music | My shoulder just popped ]

Bah. This is the last time I will talk about this, I promise. I just want to say that I'm really really sorry about all the shit that I caused this week. I didn't mean to make you feel bad, I didn't mean to make your friends feel bad. I know you forgive me, but I wanted to say that just once more. And I feel 99.9% better about things. Okay, done.

So there was this thing that popped up on the MSN website about "What women really want for Valentine's Day.." I was like hmm what do I really want for Valentine's Day? Needless to say I clicked it..well let me tell you..I do NOT want a $995.00 satchel, or $200 flowers, or a $599 watch. WTF! It's Valentine's Day! That's a bit extreme. Dang. Girls just wanna feel special on Valentine's Day, okay well everyday. Haha. I told Nick that I wouldn't get him cute stuff, because I know that's not something he would enjoy. But, I'm sure I'll think of something.

Um, yeah, I don't really have anything else to say. I'm still sore from using those weight machines on Monday, weird. Anyway, I'm going to Kent tonight for the weekend. :) So have a good weekend everyone...I know I am going to!!

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Work Work Work [04 Feb 2004|04:54pm]
[ mood | confused ]

My day of 8 hour work is almost over and all that I've done is count some money, um type a couple reports, and talk to lots of people online all day. I get paid for this. How do I find such jobs? I am amazing.

Now it's off to the rec center to run my life away and think about things that are boggling my mind. Fighting hurts and my heart is still healing. Words are harsh. :-/

I love you

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[04 Feb 2004|12:23am]
[ mood | scared ]

Is anyone else afraid of Kittyvibes? Or is it just me?! :(

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Dead Phone Lines.... [03 Feb 2004|08:37am]
[ mood | okay ]

Ack, my phone lines are dead at my house and they just happened to die in the middle of this really long blurty entry. Bah.

Ugh: Yesterday Nick and I spent about 3 hours talking about online journals. He has one and has never added me to his friends list, so I usually can't see what he posts. This wouldn't bother me, except for the fact that other people get to see what's he writing, so why not me? It made me feel like he didn't think he could tell me things, or that things about me were bothering him and he wasn't telling me, etc. I don't know. So that's overwith anyway.

The subject of this one girl friend that he has is always coming up it seems. They are just friends and I know this. But, this doesn't mean that I don't get jealous. They share a "unique relationship," she's pretty, funny, skinny, punk, and has lots in common with him, etc. Obviously I'm going to be threatened by this, it's a girl's nature. It probably has a lot to do with my own self-esteem, which is why I've started going to the gym and trying to eat healthier as of yesterday. We don't have everything in common, but I don't think that's a bad thing. I just feel like sometimes he gets bored with me and she is always entertaining to him, so that's what I get jealous about, I am not worried about him cheating or anything like that. I don't know, I have been trying really hard to not let this get to me. I'm not sure, but I think that if I had a guy friend like this, he would be a little bit jealous, but who knows. Especially if I wrote about this hypothetical friend the way he does about her in my journal. I know it's just an "online thing" and "doesn't go beyond the internet." But he makes her seem so...I dunno...perfect?? And it seems that almost everything that he's written about me has been negative. How do you think this all makes me feel? I want to be that perfect person in his life, who he adores, can't get enough of, etc. Maybe I am, but it doesn't show. He tells me all these things, everything's great, I'm beautiful, etc., and the only thing he can say about me is "I'm not going to get into anything on that front." I guess that's why he didn't want me to see it in the first place. Ruin the perfect illusion I had of us, maybe? I'm not saying he needs to profess his undying love for me in everything he writes. I guess I don't really know what I'm saying. Do I sound insane?

From what I've read in his journal, he was really uncertain about our relationship in the beginning, but never told me that he was, afraid to hurt me I suppose. I was uncertain too, it's long distance and used to be really difficult. Things have gotten a lot better. I don't constantly ask him if he loves me, cuz I know he does and I don't constantly talk about how much I miss him and cry, blah blah, cuz he knows I miss him and I know he misses me. So we're past all of that petty bullshit and can now move on. I feel like our relationship is a lot stronger than it used to be. I can always tell him when something is bothering me, even if it may be stupid, we can always talk about it. I think that now that we're both on track with school and working out and keeping up with our own lives, things will get even better. I used to find myself sitting around waiting to talk to him or for him to call back or whatever, I need to stop doing that and start doing things of my own.

In other news: I am switching to a telecourse instead of my regular class for Microeconomics so that I can work 4 more hours a week. It's only like 80 more bucks a month or so, but every little bit is going to help. I am still struggling to think of something cute and creative to get or do for my baby on Valentine's Day. Maybe I shall listen to some phantom and paint tonight (aka my coloring book) and that'll start the creative juices flowing.

Phew...feel better after getting that all out and now it's time to go to work. More tonight if my phone line is fixed!

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[27 Jan 2004|04:58pm]
No Class + Only 3.5 hours of work + Lots of talking to my baby = GREAT DAY!!!!
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JOB [20 Jan 2004|11:54pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

I GOT A JOB! YAY FOR ME!!! It's only 17 hours a week for right now, but hey better than nothing! :) And I have weekends off = more time with Nicholas. Thank God.

What a good day - smile for me!!


Gotta get to bed...work from 9-5 tomorrow. Woohooooo!!!!!!! I can't believe I'm excited about work. I hope I get coffee....:)

2 more days!

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Yay for mom talks [09 Jan 2004|10:42pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

Moms are the absolute best thing in the world. They always know how to pull stuff out of you - like what's bothering you, etc.

I came home upset from Nick's, not really sure what was bothering me, I was just upset. The only thing I was aware of was that I realized he was leaving on Sunday & that this was our last weekend together. Typical girl, I know. Anyways, so my mom asked what was bothering me when I got home and we sat down and talked. I guess that I feel like I'm giving more than he is. Like I always call and see what he's doing and find stuff for us to do, etc. And I guess I'd just like it if he called and woke me up one morning and said "Hey honey, why don't we watch movies all day?" Just something that simple every now and then would really make me feel better. I need to feel as though I'm really wanted. I know that he loves me, that is not the problem. I just feel like I give so much, I need a little in return to make this work. So, when he gets home from his outing, I will have a short & sweet talk with him - finally being able to tell him what's been bothering me so much & hopefully things will be much better. He's a sweetheart & I know this is his first serious relationship & it's a big adjustment.

I love you baby!

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Oof! [01 Jan 2004|02:51am]
[ mood | mellow ]
[ music | Silence ]

Last year around this time I was left with feeling unsatisfied...wishing that I would have just told him how I felt. This year I was in his arms and kissing him at midnight.

Happy New Year...No party, no ball drop, no drunkeness, I can't say I'm disappointed about any of that. I got to eat a steak, watch Peter Pan, and eat popcorn...all for free. :)

Yesterday was my last day of work at the factory. *huge smile*

There is an endless amount of candy in this house from the holidays. I wish I could ship it to some starving people in China or something. Instead, I try to pawn it off on people when they come over.

My car won't start. I hate having things that are broken that aren't even paid for yet. I may sell it soon. Get something a few years older...less payments...etc.

Tomorrow is lay around and read books and watch Fellowship of the Ring day. I'm excited. But for now, I need some sleep. Goodnight.

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[25 Dec 2003|11:13pm]
[ mood | happy ]

Life seems to fill in it's emptiness on it's own. When one thing goes wrong - other things seem to fall into place. My family falls apart and I'm introduced to another family who allows me to be part of their holidays. It's a wonderful feeling and I love Christmastime again.

Christmas Eve was really...hmm...eventful? In the morning I was on my way to Nick's to take him to my Grandma & Grandpa's for lunch and I put my car in a ditch. It was barely snowing and I was only going like 40. My car is fine & I am fine, so that's really all that matters. But it was scary. Ohhhh well. Lunch at my grandma & grandpa's after that was fun. They are funny people and quite entertaining when I have both Keith and Nick there to laugh at them with me. He got a snowman filled with christmas shaped pretzels, which I found super cute & I got $50.

Presents from Nick were next. <3 He's super sweet and so comes the list: Sleepy Time Care Bear, flannel snowflake blanket, sexy American Eagle sweater, snowman socks, candy cane candle, picture frame, black & white kitty calendar, scrapbook, flannel kitty pj pants :), Dixie Chicks cd, Chanel perfume, Victoria's Secret shower gel stuff, hershey kisses, this kickass little beanbag snowman, cocoa & mug, soft scarf,

Christmas Eve was spent at church with Nick's family & then at the party at their house afterward. His family is sweet and always makes me feel very comfortable when I'm there. His parents got me a cute picture frame w/ snowflakes, & a gift card to panera. Mmm! :) I was home and in bed around 3 a.m. - ready for "Santa" to arrive.

Gifts from my mom, step-dad, and brothers were the next morning. My mom & step-dad got me: a coat, a calendar, 2 sweaters, a shirt, pajamas, slippers, socks, snowbaby, dvd's, picture frames, photo album, lotion.....

annndd now is the time when i get tired of listing things and just say Merry Christmas everyone.


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Smiling [22 Dec 2003|04:18pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

:) Yay! Lights @ the zoo!!!! I'm so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-D

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!

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Let it Snow... [07 Dec 2003|11:18pm]
[ mood | productive ]
[ music | Lifetime Movie :) ]

Sometimes I don't really realize how lucky I am. Then I wake up in the middle of the night, sleeping next to you and I look at you and I get the biggest smile on my face. Or you steer me out of the way of puddles and then dance around with me at the outlet malls like all of those couples I used to want to shoot. You feed ducks with me and even when you loose 25 cents, you try again. You indulge in the sweeter things in life with me, like chocolate and hot tub rooms. You call me from the mall with your family to see if I want a coat. You do the sweetest things and I don't think you even realize it, which makes it even sweeter. You really are an amazing person and I'm so glad that you're with me. Thanks.

It snowed a lot on Friday. But luckily I was already in Kent and in a hot tub ;) burning my new black cherry & hazelnut cream candles and soaking in my peach bubble bath sipping vanilla vodka and pepsi by the time it really started getting bad. I think we got about 7 or 8 inches by the time it was finished. We found this really good chinese place and ordered from there (twice). We were all cute and ate with chopsticks too. (Ok, so I just poked my food and that might be considered cheating, but I tried). I didn't think that taking a bath and spitting water at each other could be so cute, but it is. A Christmas Story, Home Alone, & Milkshakes made Saturday a great day, too. I love you baby & you always make me happy.

Matchbox 20's latest CD (not the live one) is really really good. If you don't already have it, you should definitely get it. Actually every Matchbox 20 CD is amazing. I always put them in thinking "eh Matchbox 20 sounds alright." And I end up stopping whatever it is I was doing to finish the entire CD. I saw them in concert once, they were great and that was when they first came out. It'd be interesting to see them now.

I am done Christmas shopping. Well, I have to get two gift certificates for Nick's parents and my dad. Then I'll be done. Today I stopped in Fremont and finished up some last minute things. It's so much fun to have someone to spoil. I said I was done about a month ago, and I just keep going. lol. Oh well. :)

I finally finished my big project that has been haunting me the past few weeks. I kind of rushed through it and kept messing things up and having to reprint a lot. So I wasted a lot of good paper and also ink. But it is finished and I'm handing it in tomorrow. Yay. I also finished a take home final this weekend and my business presentation that I'm giving on Tuesday. Pretty amazing, since I was in Kent most of the time. Today I came home early, so I had most of the day to work on things. My publisher project took me almost all day (not because it was that difficult, but because I'm horrible at following directions and kept screwing it up).

There is an ad in the paper for an "office job" in Elmore, with flexible hours that pays 7-11 dollars an hour. That would be nice if I could work there a few days a week or whatever. I think I'll print my resume off tonight and send it in tomorrow.

I think I'm actually going to be in bed by midnight. Amazing.

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I got a hole in me now.... [01 Dec 2003|10:22am]
[ mood | indescribable ]

Sometimes I go about saying things the wrong way. I'm sorry I made you feel bad about things. You haven't done ANYTHING wrong. You've done everything right and that's why I love you so much. I miss you already...

your eyes
your arms
your lips
your hair
your hands
your cute ass ;)
your whisper
you dancing around in your boxers
the way you are so cute around your kitties
you making me pancakes
the way you can always tell when something is bothering me
you telling me I'm cute all the time
you rubbing me feet
me lotioning one of your feet
doing mud masks with you
you throwing me on my bed
watching cheesy romance movies
drinking coffee (when don't we do that..haha)
driving to Michigan to see you on Thanksgiving
missing you so much on Thanksgiving that I had to try and call you like 20 times before I could go eat with my family
the way you kiss me goodnight
making cheesecake
that cute look on your face when you ask me if I like a shirt you want to buy for yourself
when you open my door for me
when you forget to open my door for me and I give you a hard time (i'm only joking)
going shopping at 9 in the morning (and for what? I don't even know)
eating at the best chinese place that I've been to in awhile (we didn't go back, damnit!)
calling you at 2 p.m. and you telling me that you're making breakfast
falling asleep with you on your couch while watching football with your family *tear*
but most of all I miss just looking into your eyes and not saying anything (you have the most wonderful eyes).

5 days and there were so many wonderful moments. I'm truly sorry if I made you upset last night. I didn't mean too. I never want you to be sad about anything. You're a really great guy baby, and I wouldn't still be with you if you weren't. Please don't change, you're perfect the way you are. I love you sweetheart.

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More Than You Think You Are [15 Nov 2003|01:40am]
[ mood | determined ]
[ music | Matchbox 20 - You're So Real ]

Sometimes the smallest gifts - can mean so much. Thanks for thinking of me. It really meant a lot. :)

Happy 4 months sweetheart! <3 Many more to come...

Work was okay, went by fast, thankfully. My interview for my business project cancelled on me for today, so I have to call her tomorrow morning to go do it. Went tanning, went to Nick's, met his grandparents, came back here, did some stuff ;), ate, sat around, played strip crash bandicoot team racing (lol, yes we are that pathetic), did a little tae bo, drank some java. No complaints here. Time for bed though, who knows what tomorrow will hold.....

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An empty room - a broken fairy tale [10 Nov 2003|08:18am]
[ mood | recumbent ]
[ music | Shimmer - Fuel ]

<3 <--- That sums up my weekend.

I bought flossers & just discovered that they have a "Gum Stimulator Tip." Sounds erotic.

Remember all that project talk before? Check out my horoscope for today:

Your Monday horoscope, Tracy!
The enjoyment of working on a project will make this an above average day. Feeling better about accomplishing things will make those around you take notice. Build upon your newfound pride; look to expand your horizons.

I'm thinking that Keen horoscopes may just be a big crock of shit. Or they're mocking me. Haha. It also said this weekend that "My illusions of my partner will be shattered." Wtf. I doubt it Mr. Keen.

I love my baby and he was wonderful to me this weekend. We had some excitement too. Haha. Let me tell you, do NOT mess with the papergirl/boy in your neighborhood. He/she might have a dad who has been in jail and will chase you around in his yellow Rav 4 (? I'm not even sure what kind of vehicle it was).

Ohhh well. I might skip speech again today to come home and take a nap. I'm sleepy. Gotta go to work tonight. Really wish I didn't, Nick was going to stay home longer, because he doesn't have classes on Tuesday. :( Oh well, sorry baby. Time to go get ready for class now & go take my test on formatting a business report w/ a header. B.l.a.h.

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:) [08 Nov 2003|12:37pm]
[ mood | energetic ]
[ music | I'm singing to myself ]

There are times when things aren't so good. And it's my fault sometimes, because I am difficult.

However, last night was nothing but amazing. I think I fell in love with you three times over again last night. Good feelings were circulating all over. :) hehe. Thanks for being so wonderful and all that stuff.

It's Saturday. I got to sleep in!!! yay!! We're just going to chill tonight, which is a good idea. Cook dinner, watch tv, etc. Cuddle & be cute. haha. Anyways, off to bathe, etc. See ya.

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