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-Whoo hoo, I got another +- [05 Mar 2003|07:20pm]
[ mood | peaceful ]
[ music | Bittersweet simphony ]


I dream of faeries, elves and mysterious things,
Dancing with star dusted moon wings.
I sing of their joy, magical ways and their pretty flowers,
That blossom, boom and shine after showers.
I write of them, weaving them into my thoughts,
It is there they fly free near flowers in pots.

I sing of crowns with thorns and bees inflicting great pains,
Of sharp stings of needles and red blotchy blood stains.
I write of scarred skin, mangled memories, and bewildering beliefs,
Of depressed darkness, lightness of joy and satisfying relief.

I dream of laughing like a little kid, flying off the merry-go-round,
Of jumbled toys, cootie-covered boys and being re-found.
I write of scab-covered knees, annoying, itchy, bumpy, red spots,
That most people call the chicken pox.
I dream of making incomprehensible finger paintings made with care,
That your mommy and daddy think is as good as walking on air.

I dream of starting anew, washing away what I’ve shown,
And of screaming out what I’ve felt and what I’ve known.
I sing of droplets filled with splitter-splatters drumming on my head
Of salty tears covering my cheeks, making my eyes turn red.

I dream that I can wash away all the pain with my tears,
And drown my forever entrapping fears.

-Julie Ferguson-

And the poem I got a + on....;D


My world has crumbled
Fallen upon sharp rocks
broken and torn
I should be no more
so I shall use this
the key to death
so cold and vicious it seems
I close my eyes tight and slash into my skin
Tears squeeze out but I continue
Seems to end too quickly

So innocently I lay
Without a trace of damage or harm
Not meant to hurt
Not meant to kill
Gently I am usually picked up
Used so wisely and skillfully
Today I am squeezed
Digging my sharp points
Into the raw skin
Doing all I have never wanted to do
The heat from the touch
Burns holes in my legacy
Erasing my worth

I am being invaded
I am being torn
I am being ripped apart
Cut in half
Twisting the wrong way
The soft, fuzzy, fresh, untouched me
That once was
Is now a sore, soon-to-be scarred, soaked in blood tragedy
How can it be?

Dancing, dripping, delighted, but oh so deathly
As I bubble with joy and I spill free
No more trapped inside
No more do I flow
In a continuous line
I sprawl free
I am free! Flowing! Look at me! At me!
I can go wherever I want
Trickle down her arm
Dance around her skin
For I am free and flowing so beautifully

Marvelously does the day shine
So bright and beautifully it will remain
A good day to remember with no cares in the world
But always think twice
A turn of events could easily change your life
These thoughts flew through my head
As I knew something was amiss
I could hear it in the scratches
Of tree branches at the window
Or the wicked winds
Whispering her hidden secrets
My heart pounded so rapidly
It was all I could hear
As the sounds faded from reach
And the nightmarish images
Flashed into sight
But this was no nightmare
I could smell the blood
Feel it so slippery under my feet
Splattering with each step I took
To reach the last words
Breathlessly she breathed
As life faded from her eyes
“I am so sorry”
With the quietest of voice
Nothing else would’ve heard
And as much as I hoped
I knew she would never taste life again

Too many times have I seen this
Never do I understand
Yet it is all so clear to me
Each I deal with
Seems like the worst
I never understand
Yet I feel the same way
When I have to lay my eyes
Upon the mess

Conceal the tragic tales
Shrink the memories of despair
Clean away all stains
Maybe no one will remember
But as for me
Everything will leave a mark
It’s not like they care
Paid to grip me
Pull me from safety of darkness
Push, pull and wring me out
All the while I gather the memories
Consume them into me
Remember them
As if they were my own
Hold onto them dearly
No matter how bad
I will hold them forever
And it seems I'm the only one willing

-Julie Ferguson-
9 comments|post comment

-more poems- [28 Feb 2003|12:30am]
[ music | Broken wings-Sage Francis ]

Okay...I have more poems that I wrote for school and 3 or so that i wrote about...just stuff I'm sort of going through
...nvm, I can't post the dialogue one because it's in 2 columns and I don't know how to do that.



I am a wilted rose petal who is falling to the ground.
I wonder why my silky soft texture died and dried.

I hear wind whistling past my ears, ringing through me.
I see the world viciously grinning as I fall so helplessly and so delicately tortured.

I want to be lively, full, and pulsating with joy upon the rose I once helped make.
I am a wilted rose petal who is falling to the ground.

I pretend I am winning a race while twisting, turning, and blowing around the whole way down.
I feel the ground growing closer with each gust of wind.
I touch the very tips of the green grass; the last warning before I hit the mud, dust, or whatever lies beneath.
I worry about rotting away into the depths of the Earth; not standing out upon the sky of blue, but being mangled, dissolved and decayed into one big ignored element.
I cry while the sharp tips of thin needle-like grass blades poke and turn me this way and that.
I am a wilted rose petal who is falling to the ground.

I understand why my time has come, why I must now become part of the Earth again, although it still worries me so.
I say nothing of the ‘what if’ and only of the ‘what will come.’

I dream of my next life in which I shall awaken with a rich, black, fur coat and stalk my prey in the still of silenced nights.
I try to live in the fantasy of my next life, almost feeling my tongue as it smoothes down my coat.
I hope my dreams of my future life will one day be true.
I am a wilted rose petal who is falling to the ground.

-Julie Ferguson-


She wondered through the broken forest
Painting everything in a coat of sugar
Smiles would shine bright through her day
And that was always her way
But now her days have darkened
-does she not see the pain in her own eyes?
The smiles have been ripped apart
-does she not taste the bitter-sweet blood
Flowing like a waterfall?
Her sugar coating was not enough
-does she not feel the memories clawing at her head?
Her world is slowly decaying away
-does she truly think everything’s so bad?
I will say it once
Maybe I’ll say it twice
But for the sake of her beautiful smiles to shine
And her world to taste like a sweet sugar coated forest again
I pray she’ll spread her wings and fly
Fly out of the fantasy she’s come to desire
It is all a lie
It is not the light
It is not her life
If she would only see
See everything real that surrounds her
She would know
She could dump out her paint
-for her world is already sugar coated
She could dump out her fake smiles
-for her world is too happy a place to frown in
She couldn’t dwell in her hell
-because she’s already broken free
To be who she was meant to be
If only I could make her see
I could stay to make it true
But once I leave
If she finally does see
All that will be in front of her
Will be the broken forest
That haunted her dreams
And forever will


I finally left
I finally broke free
I’m sorry it had to end that way
But I guess that’s just how it had to be
I know your world crumbled
You’re shattered in the mess
I’ve handed you your broom
So please clean up this place
I’ve shed too many tears
To cry for you anymore
We’ve grown apart over the year
Now it’s all turned into a sore
I need to sow this hole shut
I don’t mean to trap you in
At least I gave you your broom
So you will find a way
Maybe some day
You’ll learn to spread your wings and fly
But until you ever learn
The hole must stay shut
And forever it will stay
While you are still that way
I’ve said sorry so many times
If I say it once more
The whole world will burst
Maybe then it would make it to yours
What would it be for?
If it had to burst my world
To get through to yours
I am not sorry anymore
I will not come knocking at your door
I will not mop away your tears
But you have the broom—
So please, do what you need


How this ever happened
I will not know
Did my feet stumble
And I was thrust onto the wrong path?
Was I attracted to all this madness?
The filthy world filled with depression?
Was it Briana who stumbled?
And I followed her along,
Like a sick puppy lost and trapped all alone?
However it happened I want out
I never meant to end up like this
I want my spider-web of thoughts wiped clean
I want straight A’s
I want my world to sparkles
I want scar-free skin
I want to fit in
I want to be loved
And I want to love
I can’t stand this anymore
Glass is everywhere I go
I can’t step there
Or it will crumble
I can’t say that
Or it will bleed
Glass is everywhere I go
It’s all too fragile,
It’s all about to fall
It’s all been laid upon me
If I move
It will follow
If I leave it
It will crumble
But each day
I continue to paint on a smile
Each day I take it all
I laugh with it all
And I hug it to myself
As if it’s the most precious thing in the world
Although, I know the truth
Each day I go home
And I can’t take it
It’s ripping at me
It’s making me rip at myself
9 comments|post comment

-More poems- [16 Feb 2003|06:22pm]
[ mood | I wanna dance ;D ]
[ music | Ramp (The logical song)-Scooter ]

Ok... more poems that I wrote for school...


If I were in charge of the world
I wouldn’t sit on a throne.
I would walk the dirty streets,
talking to those homeless and alone.
I would wear a robe,
magical pure white silk,
Made of love, hope and peace.
Wherever I went
It would shimmer and sweep.

I could look behind me and see
little kids running free,
Not a care in the world,
Houses built up in riches,
Happily married women and men.
The world would sparkle and shine
With what I’d leave behind.

If I looked ahead
And saw skinny, scrawny children
With parents abusive, divorced and diseased,
never would I frown.
For once I passed their town
I’d leave behind only trails
Filled with sparkling and shinning, enchanted tales.

If I were in charge of the world,
I would step up to my throne,
With all as pure as a pearl.
I’d sit down to enjoy the little things
The things that deserve to stay
The things that make your day--
A hot fudge sundae with a cherry on top
To brighten bad times,
A big, fuzzy teddy bear
to cuddle when you need to cry,
Warm golden-with-butter popcorn
to munch while watching silly, but oh-so-wonderful movies,
and more...

If I were in charge of the world,
I wouldn’t forget to leave challenges
--for what would life be,
handed to you on a silver platter?
If all were too perfect
Then nothing would matter.

-Julie Ferguson-



Sun sets quietly
Eyes flutter open again
Screeching over town


Silhouetted bat
Against morning rays of sun
Forever blinded


Darkness from cold nights
Yellow eyes beam from forests
Poised to pounce on prey


The sun paints pictures
Streaked skies of many colors
Floats down, one with sun


Blessed be thy fit name
Describes your personality
Walk with grace, held high

-Julie Ferguson-


I am sorry,
For I have stolen your socks.
Yes, the thick, fuzzy blue ones.

I know,
You loved to lie around
The house with the
Soft, comfy socks on,
While the cold winter winds
Made every other toe cold.

Forgive me, but
My feet were actually warm,
And comfortable for once
During the freezing cold winter.

-Julie Ferguson-

Ok...Thats all. Comment and tell me what you think. Buh bye

12 comments|post comment

-Memory poem- [10 Feb 2003|07:22pm]
[ mood | I DONT KNOW! >.< ]
[ music | Sleep to Dream- Fiona Apple ]

Okay, this is another poem for school. 20 lines minimun, has to have repitition. Has to be about a childhood memory....tell me what you think

The Park

A blurr of green
itchy on my skin
laughter echoes inside my head
the world spinning around and around
colors blurring together

when I was little
the park was my favorite place
the clink of metal links swinging
air rushing through your hair
you could swear you were flying
but gravity always pulls you back
like a curse entrapping you in a cage

when I was little
you could always find me there
the big dome structure
seemed to be bigger than an elephant
eager to climb it
how silly it was when my mother had to come get me down

When I was little
I would feel so free
barefoot in the sand
or running through the grass
slapping stings of the cement
would itch at my feet
while I ran to get some water
or go to the bathroom

When I was little
the park was my favorite place
but now while im older
the park is still favored over many
as I step onto the sand
I am flooded and washed away by an outburst of memories
images flash through my mind
all good and bad
and all of the park
with me being little and enjoying it all

-Julie Ferguson-

As you can probably see, I'm not too creative with my titles >.< hehe...
5 comments|post comment

-Color poem- [10 Feb 2003|06:52pm]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | She's so high above me-Fastball (?) ]

Okay, I just wrote this so it might change a little....Tell me to change something if you have a suggestion.


I am the color that speckles the branches of trees
I smile down from its magnificence
I flow with the ups and downs of rolling hills
Smiling and laughing while blowing in the breeze
I cling to the walls of the sleeping baby
As if I were a scared child holding onto her mother
I cause the pain of the teen while my color flows onto her skin forming the shape of a red roses stem
I am the deep green swishing with the movement of the goddess's cloak
And lastly I am the color of the ink filling out the words of this poem
but fear not
for I am everywhere
I surround you
and you surround me

-Julie Ferguson-

(For the line 'And lastly I am the color of the ink filling out the words of this poem' I am going to print this poem out in green for school)
3 comments|post comment

+ Poem + [08 Feb 2003|11:39pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]
[ music | Blury-Puddle of mud ]

Whooo hoooo! Guess what! I GOT A + ON MY POEM! (Which is really hard to get from Mrs. Hoffacker so HA!) Here is the poem a got a + on...I don't think it's my best poem, but w/e...it must have been her favorite.

Bio Poem
Mysterious, secretive, shy
Sibling of many
Lover of winter winds whispering through willow leaves.
Who feels warm sand slipping through her toes on hot summer days, sadness choking at her throat and sliding down her cheeks, joy boiling out of her in soft sweet giggles.
Who needs the warmth of hissing fires, the splash of sun kissed waters, and the feeling of love wrapping their warmth around her.
Who gives a box filled with many colors, a day filled with many smiles, and thought-filled conversations filled with many wise words.
Who fears the tingling of spiders like needles on her back, crystal words bursting and pouring down on her own, the heat rushing to her face when she stumbles in her tracks.
Who would like to see the ones who love her feel proud, her world passing through the storm, and the sun shinning innocently in everyone's eyes.
Resident of the world we call Earth

-Julie Ferguson-

Comment on it...if you want to....thanks
buh bye
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-Poems- [05 Feb 2003|03:29pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]
[ music | Aerials-System of a Down ]

Okay...here are 4 poems I wrote for a Civil Rights project. My mom thought they were so good that I got them off the internet and didn't write them. Hehe! But I did...so....:


I've heard stories
and seen pictures
movies and poems
the holocaust gives me shivers
goose bumps and chills

Horrifying images
of stick-figure people
invade my thoughts
and even my dreams

I think of how these pictures
stories, movies or poems
affect me
and then I think
the people who actually lived
in those pictures, stories or movies
must have been affected
unbearably worse

-Julie Ferguson-

Death's Door

Door to death
open this and enter
close your eyes and pray
sure, it's just a shower
or so they say...

but everyone knows the truth
no one gets wet in there
no soap or shampoo
just the stench of death

When the door closes behind you
and hundreds of others
the life-taking gasses
will poor inside the room
fill your nose and mouth
your lungs and eyes

Slowly you die
fall to the ground piled upon others
good-bye to your life
good-bye to your friends
good-bye to your family
for your life
will surely end

-Julie Ferguson-

Kids of the Holocaust

Kids so innocent, so young
living a life of happiness and fun
loving parents always by their side

Taken away to the ghetto
life was much worse
trying to live in a place
so crowded, so dirty
thinking life couldn't be any worse
they leave again to find they're wrong

The gate of Auschwitz
"Work will set you free"
but how can that be?
for someone so young and weak

They enter through the gate
only to meet their wretched fate
death came to take them
they died in such an awful place
poor helpless kids
so many died
In Auschwitz
in Hell

-Julie Ferguson-

Soles of our Feet

These shoes of people
people like you and me
these shoes so carelessly
so hatefully, ungratefully
thrown in jumbled messes

Theses shoes, the soles of our feet
keep your feet warm
safe from glass
or other sharp objects

Why then, would they be taken?
be thrown in a pile
a pile bigger than you and me
from someone who needs them
who bought them
who did nothing wrong
but believe in something that was right
how could they take away their shoes?
just because they're Jews

-Julie Ferguson-

And then thhis one is another little short one I had to do for core. It's not my best at all, but I'm putting all my work up here so....


A plastic tube filled with precious ink
glides across the paper
leaving a trail of ink

So delicate and light-weight to the touch
Soft and smooth
Ink flows out in shades of blue
Black, red, purple too

When this fragile pen
Comes in contact with my skin
It can write down all my thoughts
What’s in my head

If it weren’t for
This precious pen
I truly think
I’d be trapped inside my head

-Julie Ferguson-

I'm also in the process of writing this one...well maybe I'll finish it then put it up, hold on

It's not titled yet but

Mysterious, secretive, shy
Sibling of many
Lover of winter winds whispering through willow leaves
Who feels...(I need 3 for this)
Who needs...(I need 3 for this)
Who gives...(I need 3 for this)
Who fears the tingling of spiders like needles on your back, ...(I need 2 more for this)
Who would like to see...(I need 3 for this)

Resident of the world we called Earth

-Julie Ferguson- (^ITALICS^=Not completed)

Okay....This next one was started by Briana Bellamy and finished by me. I will put the stuff she wrote in BOLD.

Night Fears

Darkness rises.
Daylight sinks.
All is safe
(Or so you think).

As Glowing eyes emerge
A serge of fear runs down your spine.
Don't worry, everything is fine
Then they come
Those eerie thoughts
Your mind wonders
As the night fears draw near...

Pull covers close
Breath silently and barely at all
wish them all away
the night fears with there eerie ears
glowing eyes
red sharp teeth
Scary images
of ghosts that weep

The night gets darker
wrapping you in a blanket of black
sweat trickles down your neck
as fear engulfs you with its nasty spiderweb of thoughts
You scream out in fear
as it appears
The slimy green thing
its living in your closet
or so you swear

Your parents rush in
and turn on all the lights
all the sudden, everythings alright
the eyes are gone
The ears that hear all
have become defeated deafs
the teeth dissappered
the wicked thoughts
and slimy green things
vanish like water left out for weeks

The sweat dries up
you reamerge from your cave under the blankets
your breath is more deep
as you grow weak
your night fears are gone
and all will be well
you can sleep now
without dreaming of hell

-Briana Bellamy, Julie Ferguson-

Okay, I hope you like those. Comment if you'd like. Thanks
5 comments|post comment

-Story for school- [02 Feb 2003|02:11pm]
[ mood | La... ]
[ music | Chop Cop-ICP ]

Okay...this isn't my best story because it was for school....and I had to write it in like 3 days and illustrate it so I think towards the end it just kinda....ends. I dunno, I haven't read it in a while. Comment if you want.

Moon Drops

Everywhere in the world, when it was yet to mature into what it is now, there was nothing. Slowly this nothingness became something. It grew into a beautiful, bountiful land filled with turquoise blue seas, bottomless oceans, thriving green plants, majestic trees, and flowers the color of everything and anything bright and beautiful. The world stayed like that for many years, beautiful and untouched.

That was the joy of this world, but also the trouble. The Great One who made this world, who is now called the Sun, wanted something to live there and walk upon it in peace and harmony. At first when it was completely bare he added the landscape, but because the landscape wasn’t awing anyone but himself, he needed something more. He needed something to stalk through the high green grass and climb up the tall gnarled trees. He decided to create many kinds of animals: snakes, coyotes, weasels, muskrats, beavers, wolves and more. They all got along very well. All awoke when the sun shone its first golden rays upon them and stayed awake until the last flicker of light went down behind a mountain and all was dark. During the night there was darkness and peace. All animals slept under the starless, moonless sky.

The animals were happy with this life, but...Read more... )

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-Story- [01 Feb 2003|04:00pm]
[ music | Blood in my eyes- Disturbed ]

Okay...this is the end of a story I'm writing. Because I have such an odd way of writing stories and such, the ending came to me first so here it is (It's about a girl who was in a jewish camp and its her thoughts, just so you know)....

It was one of the hardest days of my life. The work was killing me and I could feel I would die before the day was done. My Mama saw how it was wearing me down so she came over silently and helped. I was just thinking that I would make it through the day when the guard came over and pushed Mama, Matel and myself onto our knees. I sank down in the mud and he told us, with his harsh voice I’d heard too many times, to stay kneeled until told to get up and to keep our arms held straight out to the side level with our shoulders. It was to be that if our arms dropped below our shoulder we would be whipped. It seemed as if we had been there days when I felt my arms falling. With no surprise I felt the indescribable pain of the whip slashing over my shoulders and arms over and over again. I had heard of things like this before, although until now it hadn’t happened. I’d heard that the people so weak and overworked sometimes just feel. Just feel flat on their face and never got up again. With bitter realization, I began to think, “This is how I am to die. Here in the mud being so shameful struck over and over again with the whip.” Everything turned hazy; all the sounds seemed to be 10 times quieter. Then, in slow motion the ground was coming closer to me. Right before I hit the ground I realized I was falling; falling to my death. And then I was down. I was laying face down in the mud and as I tried to either will myself to get up again or breathe in what little air I could find the mud seemed to engulf me. “I am going to die right here” I thought to myself. The worst part about it all is that the last thought I had before dieing was guilt. I was feeling guilt; Guilt for dieing and leaving my mama, Matel and everyone else who had tried to help me through it. As I felt the last bit of life in me leave I couldn’t help but feel the guilt.

3 comments|post comment

-Poem- [01 Feb 2003|03:44pm]
[ music | Days go By- Dirty Vegas ]

A Slice of Me

Cold winds swirling
bitterly dancing in the air
a crystaline tear
a little child's fear
sad she lost her teddy bear

strapped into a rolercoaster
warm winds whip my hair
laughter flutters into the silence
many inside jokes being made

memories of being little revealed
of buying that first teddy bear
which never left your side
or of the time you got lost
oh how the store looked so wide
about to cry out in abandonment
A friendly faces in front of you
you are safe once again for comfort has returned

feeling the mix of emotions
sadness, sorrow, shamefullness,
jealousy, joy, grace,
guilt, envy, regret,
hatred, happyness, glee
as strong now as it was then
as vivid now as it was then

You can reveal all that is me
with my crimson key
My memories tied in knots of sadness and pain
or bows full of happyness and joy
some packed away in boxes marked with good words
or some even closer
found on my mirror,
my bed, backpack, bookshelf,
night stand, dresser, desk,
but closest of all is each new memory
joining with the rest

-Julie F-

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-Poem- [01 Feb 2003|03:43pm]
[ music | End of Century-DDR ]

She danced on death's door
fire flickering in her eyes
always amounting to nothing more than a game
but this time the cold fingers of death
would wrap around her low glowing flame

She lay in a pool of her life
the last bit still flowing to the floor
never could she imagine the horror
or the shocking truth
of her death coming to meet
the little shadow of her dancing fate

The cold steel dropped from her hand
splattering down her silky plan
screams and shouts from her mother
desperate for her destroyed daughter

The fire smothered out
her blood mopped away
but always will it stay
the echoes of that day
forever trapped away

-Julie F-

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-Poem- [01 Feb 2003|03:43pm]
[ music | Wasting My Time ]

The eyes of a stranger
can reveal little or lots
sink deep into the pool of blue
look into a world that is all his
see through his eyes
all his horror and pain
dont flinch away
see his love and joy
locked inside as well

This stranger's eyes
you could stare forever
these eyes have seen many things
in the many years they have faced this world
but then again
you know nothing of this man
your eyes have never fallen upon him before
your thoughts have never thought of him before
so why now
after looking through his eyes
do you feel as if youve known him
all your life

-Julie F-

1 comment|post comment

-Poem- [01 Feb 2003|03:42pm]
[ music | B4U-DDR ]

The last fluttering wind
The last gasping breath
Many piercing cries
Many hate-filled fights
Eyes filled with tears
Memories filled with sadness
Warm blood turned cold
Enchanted faces silenced
Sad willow whispers
Of cold foggy nights
Of little childrens deaths
The blood soaked mat
The lifeless bodies pilled
In darkness
In pain
With sadness
And horrible thoughts
Of never returning again

-Julie F-

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-Poem- [01 Feb 2003|03:41pm]
[ music | Places you've come to fear the most-Dashboard Confessional ]

Bitter words spoken
Meaningless thoughts revealed
Hatered steaming
Jealousy beaming
Burning tears flowing
Bitter fights screamed
The dove flies to my ear
Tells me hate is near
Avoiding one another
Avoiding your own mother
Wooden floors creak
As everyone grows weak
Meaningless fights silenced
The meaningless fight silenced

-Julie F-

1 comment|post comment

-Poem- [01 Feb 2003|03:36pm]
[ music | Zombie-Cranberries ]

I feel so lost
So utterly lost
I feel like melting
I am melting
My mind is melting to the floor
Although my body walks toward the door
Darkness surrounds me
As the door slams in front of me
All the darkness entraping the disturbed soul
The once happy one, which is no more
Which is now a mear shimmer
Which is now a mear stain
Melted on the floor

-Julie Ferguson-

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