05:35pm 23/04/2004
 
mood: jubilant
April 22nd, 2004
THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!
Here's how it all started. Me, Blue, Caleb, Ryan and Kandy went to the Social to see Maxeen, Mae and Sugarcult. All was going normally when I see to really familiar Hot Boys walk past me. I think for a second and am like dude it's Seb from Simple Plan and Patrick!!! I was like I need a drink so I can go talk to them. So i buy a screwdriver and as I am drinking it a blad guy and a guy in a pink shirt stand in front of me, IT'S JEFF AND DAVID OF SIMPLE PLAN!! At this point I'm freaking out and tell Kandy and she's like grab his ass (speaking about david). I'm like no I could never do that! So she grabbed it and when he turned around she blamed me! So at that point I was like well maybe if I drink more it will be my turn to grab his ass;) So then Seb and Patrick take David and Jeff's place in front of us. Kandy is like grab his ass! And so she grabs Patricks, once again blaming me. So I'm like Screw it! And I Grab Seb's Ass! He looks at me and smiles. Then a little while later Kandy gets me to Grab Patricks! But then they were going to walk away and I grab Seb's shoulder and am like no don't leave and he says "Oh I'll be back, I liked that;)" AHH! Then I look to my left at Kandy and see PIERRE! Oh My God! I'm freaking out and on my second screwdriver at this point. We go talk to Pierre and I get my pic with him. So we went back to our spots and Seb walks over to Pierre, kandy sees Seb and walks over to him and tells him that He was the first guys's ass I ever grabbed! He walks over to me and he whispers in my ear "thanks for grabbing my ass I liked it" and he gives me a hug and walks away! OHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOODDDDD!!!! Then we went to find David and Jeff, We found them sitting near the stage so I walked up behind David and grab his ass and he turns around and gives me the "no, no finger wave" and so I ask him if I can have a pic with him and he says yes and I do the same thing to Jeff and get my pic with him. Then it was time to find Seb for my pic with him. We found him and talked about how I was graduating and he was like how old are you and I was like I'm old I'm 22, and he was like me too! So I got my pic. Then I realized i had grabbed all of the simple plan boys asses that were there except Pierre! So of course I fixed that;) So then we went back to our spots and patrick was there and Kandy tells him to grab my ass, AND SERIOUSLY HE DID!! And he smiled and winked and we giggled:):)!!! AHHH! Then we saw Blue and he told us we'd be hanging out with Simple Plan after the show! What is this some kind of cruel Joek? What was he talking about? So we hung around the social a bit and then went to subway to get some food and wait for Patrick to call us to tell us where to meet them. He called and said come to Amura, the japanese place on the corner. So we walk there and the lady is like no no we are closed you can't come in, so I'm like no we're with them, and patrick brings us all in. So we are all sitting at this booth next to this huge table that is surrounded by Simple Plan, Sugarcult and Maxeen. Seriously I was like Caleb Pinch me! He did, I was still there! The table they were sitting at had more sushi on it then I've ever seen in my whole life! Patrick was like here have some, tell me when you need more. So we sat there and caleb, his girl friends and ryan and kandy all ate the sushi. At one point Pierre was like You Guys Want More Sushi? And of course I said yes, so he grabs this huge Boat that is in front of Seb and goes to give it to us, and Seb is like "No that's Ours!!" And Pierre is like they want it, and I look at Seb and am like "Dude we want the boat" and Seb looks at me and is like "You Little Ass Grabber you can't have our boat;)". Ahhh! So we finish at the sushi place and Patrick is like follow us to Zinc, a bar down the street, so we do. Me and Kandy go in and blue stays outside with the underagers. So me and Kandy are standing there near the dance floor watching Pierre, the guy from the Social and Seb dance, Kandy keeps trying to convince me to go dance. At first I'm like no way i couldn't, but then i thought hey that's what I sad about grabbing thier asses! So I got out there and danced alittle next to kandy and all of a Sudden Seb comes up behind me turns around and starts dancing with me rubbing his ass on mine!! So I dance back. I'm so in heaven at this moment no one has any idea! Greatest moment of my life Right There! So next the boys are off to the lodge. We stop to wait for a phone call and while sitting some guys comes up to blue and is like "your boys are all down at the lodge, go there, you're the bassist right?" Haha! Wow! So we head down there and me and kandy go in for a bit then come outside and stand for a while. Pierre, Seb and Patrick are all out there and it's awesome. Then Tin, Rossi, Tank and Zach show up. Kandy feels it is nessecary to tell Tin that this is the first nigth I've ever grabbed guys asses and he is like "well whenever you need practice find me, like if you see me in the sub or whatever just come up behind me and give it a little squeeze, even better wait a few mins now till I'm not paying attention and just grab it." So what do I do?? What ANy Girl In Her Right Mind Would DO! Wait a few mins and have Kandy take a pic while I grab! He turnedaround and was like "You're good at that;)"! Wow! Well the SP boys now have to take off to get back to thier hotel. So we say bye and they leave. And a few mins. later so do we. Oh and I told Rossi who ever just cut his hair did bad and that next time he should let me do it, he was all up for it if I was here when he came back;) So as you can guess Kandy and Blue are my heroes forever!!! Today I walked to cvs twice to get my pics developed, in fact after the first walk I ended up being 5 mins late to my last class ever! How crazy is that, miss early for everything late on her last class she'll ever take! When i was walking back from work I saw Zach and he was liek "hey chicky chicky, you look all happy and stuff today" and I was like yea, NO HANGOVER!! How that happened I have no clue I had 2 screwdrivers and about 3 beers! I was pretty gone! And then this kid that was with him told me he liked my hat! Like what's going on here? And then i saw Mitvecki and he told me I was not allowed to graduate. He wanted me here next year to make LCA shirts. What happened here? Am I still dreaming?? Pinch me!! I am so confused how the hell I could have a day that amazing???? The whole time I was like this is the greatest day of my life and I must be dreaming wake me up! Even when i got home and went to bed I dreamed all about it! Like it never ended! I kept telling kandy she was goign to have kill me on the way home because I didn't wanna go back to my sucky life. I can't believe this??? Finally being a good person paid off for a day!!! Well if you don't believe this, if words aren't enough (which i wasn't sure it was real till I had this proff) Then this picture and then ones behind the cut prove it!
David's Butt When We were at the Sushi Place
/

Pics! )
 
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Perfect Hair is All We Really Need...   
03:09pm 22/04/2004
 
mood: working
music: whatever WFIT is playing
Hero of Yesterday=Ryan! Thanks for the pink hair dye, i totally love it, and also love the fact that you are dying your hair black, rock on! I think out of the hair dye kids caleb is once again the boring man out;) I'm writing this at work seeing as I have 20 mins left and just sat here and typed in over 200 names, addresses, phone numbers and email addresses in the computer. God I so HATE doing that! My back hurts from sitting hurrr. I'm in a giddy weird say stupid shit mood;) Today when i walked into my last music class ever I looked at Tom and was like "are you ready" and he was like "for what" and I was like "FOR SOME FOOTBALL!!" I'm odd;) No more Juevy, No More Masterworks of Music! WOHAA and in about 2 more hours it's Sugarcult time!! I think some kid i talked to on Myspace might be there, who knows though, maybe matt the merch guy will be there or Stuart! I'm sure I'm gonna fall asleep in the car, I haven't been sleeping well at night lately. 15 more mins, siiiigh. It's chilly in this office. I'd like to throw in a Shout Out to all my homies representin right now.;) Like I said, weird mood. I think i need to eat some mini eggs;) Man, I so need to finish packing. What I really hate is that currently I have this big pile of clean clothes in the middle of my bed room which i dig through to decide what i wanna wear. There aren't enough choices there, in fact I'm not to fond of the outfit I'm currently wearing. Maybe I'll change shirts before we go. i need to remember my camara with my matt the merch guy pic on it so i can use up the film that's left. i need a pic of just me and ryan, i have a few of just me and blue and me and caleb but none with just me and ryan. I'll have to remedy that tonight. In 9 dyas I will finally be seeing TOM DELONGE!!!!!!!! Blink baby! Rock! Oh everyone should check out myformerself.com, I like them and the guitar player seems real nice. He says Sick, which is awesome! I love catch phrases! Riiiiiiiiiight (joe!). PPUNK RAWK! (Baldwin) I want a catch phrase, me and blue do kinda have Wohaa as a catch phrase now but I want my own. I love the burger king commercial where the guy gets the sandwich and is like "I'm SPICY!" and the people around him are like "you can't just make up a catch phrase, it's like making up your own nickname". I love that! "I'm SPICCCCCY!" Haha. Oh and that hersey's commerical where the to brothers are talking about what kinda hersey bars they like, plain or almond and the one kid is like "i got some choooclate, I got some chocooclate!" That is so great! i like stupid stuff what can I say, I seriously think that people like newton must have been so boring, they were always logically thinking, that's no fun, now we all know albert einstein totally gave up on logic at least once in a while, I mean come on, look at that hair!!! Hehehe. Well it's time to go, right thurrr, right thurr. Bye Bye
 
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07:20pm 21/04/2004
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Let's Just Get This Over With....   
01:40pm 21/04/2004
 
mood: uncomfortable
music: sum 41 - i will bring u down
So Dr. Morris gave us a option this morning in Marine Mammals and now this option is stressing me out. Ok, as graduating seniors we have the choice, we can take our 2 highest scores so far and base our grade off that or we can take the final and base our grade on our top 3 scores. So here's my dilemma, I have a 27, 44, and a 89 so far. so with the 2 highest I'd have a 66 as a grade without taking the final. If I take the final and got a 100 (which will absolutely never happen) I'd get a 77 in the class. However if I get a 65 or lower then I will lower my grade and anything below a 50 will fail me for the year causing me not to graduate. If I get a 85 on the final I'd get a 72. So I'm trying to decide what I should do, take the final and risk graduation just so I can get a C or not even worry about, take my D, not study and not have to get up at 8am on tuesday. Sigh, I think I'll probably take my D and run. Well I'll think about it at my last interviewing class ever;) Bye!
 
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Dr. Frank Was Right....   
11:49pm 20/04/2004
 
mood: sympathetic
music: Ultimate Fakebook - Forever, Forever
Last night was a lot of fun which was weird cause it's not like I did anything that should have been that crazy;) Me and blue went to watch the FIT hockey team. They didn't actually end up playing a real game but we had fun anyways, it was like a chance to act free without much judgement. Forrest and his gf were there and I def. they think we're crazy, but blue's crazier then me with all his science talk;) It was fun to just really get away, I really need that a lot, my cabin fever is horrible! Well I've started packing, which sucks cause i have sooooooo much stuff!!! My apartment is completely a mess! I'm really hoping the fact that I'm graduating means that I'm gonna be around all new people. I get nervous meeting new people but I love when I start to get to know them cause people fasicinate me. I really really wanna meet new people cause so few people here have lived up to my expectations. I'm really gonna miss Ryan, and yea I'll miss Caleb to, but not his bickering and put downs. I'll miss Turnip Exec. Meetings. *side not I'm watching Becker and let me just give you some info. you never knew about me, I totally love Bob, the brooklyn guy. He's so cute and funny. Seriously there probably is something wrong with me, if any of you out there know who I'm talking about they'd agree i'm weird. I think i just like him cause he's little and tough like I wanna be, and he's from brooklyn like i wish I was.
Well, I should go to bed, only 3 more offical days of class left...EVER! Goodnight
 
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You seem to push me far away from you...   
07:09pm 18/04/2004
 
mood: creative
music: Dashboard Confessional - Ghost Of A Good Thing
I think blurty's are the greatest form of stalking cause you can find out so much about people, I totally didn't think of it as stalking till I read the greatest book ever, Nothing Feels Good By Alan Greenwood. I suggest that any fan of emo music should read it, That means you Ryan;)
Lots of stuff has really been getting on my nerves lately. That's kinda why I stayed home and just kinda worked on school stuff friday night, I kinda just needed a night to be productive. Saturday I went to chili's for dinner with Blue, Woody, Rossi and Brad, that was a very werid grouping;) 4 LCA's and Me. After dinner we went over to Tin's cause there was supposed to be a big party there and someone I wanted to stalk was supposed to be there. Welll there was like 6 people there and it was pretty boring, though I did get to watch my first keg stand, some freshman did it, not really impressive though. I guess i just expected more. So we left after like a half hour and ran to wally world where i got a brand new real sewing machine!! So as you can imagine since then I've been sewing;) Thoughts have just totally been bombarding my head to much lately. I am totally trying not to think what so ever, which isn't good cause there's a lot of stuff I should be worrying about. I just in so in the mood to have fun instead. That's kinda why me and Blue are going to the FIT Hockey Game tomorrow night, that and I'm a stalker;) I didn't even know fit had a hockey team till about 2 weeks ago, ice hockey in fl, go figure. Tuesday night I'm going over Lauren's mom's apartment to re-dye the roots of her hair, It seems I am the offical hair dyer of melbourne! I really need to go to hot topic to get a better pink, I'm not a fan of my current color. It's to dark, I wanted fun pink not sad pink. Well Drake and Josh is on in a bit and I'm a big loser who loves that show, it just reminds me of someone I've thinking about lately. Ok Bye Bye
 
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Because a sunburns what I needed...   
12:22pm 11/04/2004
 
mood: optimistic
music: Spitalfield - Am I Ready?
Happy Easter! The Mini Egg Holiday of the Year;) We're going to see Yellowcard and Something Corporate tonight!! I so wanna meet Sean from YC, He totally reminds me of one of the guys I worked with at the Navigators. And I totally think that SoCo needs to play Babies of the 80's! That is such a good song! Yesterday me and ry went to see The Girl Next Door. It was a good movie, better then I had thought it would be, I was pretty much expecting American pie all over again, but it had a good storyline and everything. And of course you gotta love that Adam from Joan was in it:) He's adorable!! My mom called to wake me up this morning to wish me a happy easter. I talked to all my mom's side of the family and my dad. Supposidly my dad and one of my brothers now wear the same size pants. My dad has lost a lot of weight. I wonder waht it's gonna be like to see him. I'm sure he's not gonna look all that different but I must say if he ever shaves his moustache I'll freak out. He's always had it. In the pics of him in the navy you can't even recognize him cause he doesn't have it. He's Magnum P.I. he has to have the moustache. Tom Selleck looked bad when he shaved his! Ok sorry about that rambling, just what I had in my head;) I hung out at B-106 last night, it wasn't all the fun, everyone is just so worried about graduating that no one has the energy to have fun. I have declared today No Future Day, no one can talk about 3 weeks from now cause today i plan to have fun and be happy. I've been depressed for the past 22 years, I wanna have fun now that I'm graduating. It's like the movie yesterday. The main charecters spent thier whole lives being moral and studying and concentrating on school and everything and never had fun. Then they were graduating and realized why be such a stick in the mud, this is the time of our lives, lets live it up! That's how I've been feeling lately, like I missed out on something somewhere along the way and I wanna make up for that. It's pretty hard to do that when everyone around you is freakin out, cause it just causes me to freak out too. That's one of the reasons I really like hanging out with Ry, he's so laid back. And it's also why I had so much fun at the game the other day, no one there was graduating so no one was worried. I'm trying to keep the philosphy that everything will work out for us. It has so far why should things change? We always find a way to get by. I think that idea comes from the fact that my family completely lost our house 3 years ago and look at us now, everything worked out. We have a new better house (yea we rent but that doesn't matter) and we have more money then we did then now that my mom is finally working. And both me and my brother got to go to college and we foudn ways to fund it. Things work out in the end. Yea I've been through alot of shit but I've survived, that's kinda why I always say the song I Will Survive is my song. Cause I'm still survivng. Well it seems I'm in a very optimistic mood today, hopefully this will continue! Ok think it's time to do something else. Bye Happy Easter!
 
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Chasing a Ghost Of A Good Thing.....   
04:26pm 08/04/2004
 
mood: complacent
music: Smoking Popes - No More Smiles
Yesterday was awesome and extremely needed. The ride there and back was fun as me and Jacques sang along and danced to all the songs on the radio. It was funny, I even taught him the jitterbug:) We got to the game 2 hours early, so when we got inside the Yanks were on the field warming up so I was like "guys I'm going for a walk" and I went and waited around the dugout to try to get a pic of Arod, don't think i got one that was to great but I tried. The game was good, everytime the Yanks would start doing bad schmidty would be like you aren't allowed to watch anymore, as he believes I am a jinx. But the Yanks pulled out of a 2-1 deficet to win 3-2. Arod is not a 3rd baseman, he's a SS, I miss him playing short, guess it's just the sacrfice I'll have to deal with him to see him play for my Yanks. Tampa is soooooooooo pretty, I hadn't been there in a few years (well besides busch gardens). The water is so much nicer there and I love the city enviroment, I've always thought of myself as a city girl who got raised in the country. I really really really didn't want to come back here, life is so full of drama and conflict here and there I didn't know anyone and there was no drama because I wasn't involved in anything there. About 10 mins after I got home last night caleb knocked on my door in search of a hat he swears he left here, I haven't seen it I have no clue if he had it when I dyed his hair or not. I've been tryng to avoid that kid lately, I get so stressed when I see him. I won't say anymore on that subject, sorry. I really miss going to games all the time, i used to go like once a week back home throughout hs. Yea they were minro league games but just as fun, esp. when Andy Fox was on the team;) The ride home was the best though, the 4 of us just acted stupid, it was like freshman year, people weren't all stuck up or over stressed or anything, all they cared about was acting stupid and having fun. I haven't laughed like that in forever. I even got involved in like stupid inside jokes like I used with shan, like janques rule, and are we done with my weenie now and george is the man, and Uncle puffy, Uncle Kelly and Uncle Kenny. Jacques is extremely amusing! In fact walking home from work just now I saw him and he was putting his car under the parking garage cause he heard it was gonna hail. He showed me the big dent in his hood and then realized he was late and literely ran to the gym. At work, Todd's son, Shane was using my computer and he kept asking me all these questions, it made work go soooooooooo much faster! He seems like a good kid, likes weird al and even has a punk friend. Well, i think it's time for me to clean a little as we're supposed to work on our juevy video tonight, I'm trying to decide if I should mohawk my hair or not. Well, bye
 
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this is for how you never deserved nothing more from a rose than the thorns...   
09:34pm 06/04/2004
 
mood: confused
music: Hit The Lights - "sorry for"
It's funny how people change and how someone who used to make you smile makes you want to die. and it's funny how some people have no clue the effect they can have on a person. and it's funny how I fall so easily. and it's funny how I hate the fact that I love. and it's funny how in a matter of minutes, I switch form happy to sad and back again.
 
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I miss the way you make me feel so cold and alone....   
06:20pm 06/04/2004
 
mood: creative
music: Dashboard Confessional - Rapid Hope Loss
It's really hard to hate someone when they are still nice to you when no one else is around to see it. People like that annoy me, like they don't realize you're alive when they are with thier friends, but get them alone and you're thier favorite person. Whatever, I'm almost out of here anyways. I am currently obsessed with the band Hit The Lights. They are sorta like fallout boy i guess. They only have 4 songs but all 4 are amazing. I need spray paint!! I have all these big plans yet no supplies. I do have more chucks though;) Mom got me two pairs for easter, 1 baby blue and 1 royal blue. Pepsi and Converse will never go out of buisness the way I support them! Tomorrow I am going to Tampa to see the greatest team in baseball and the greatest player in baseball. Yanks with Arod playing 3rd:) Well, I'm in a creative mood so instead of just sitting here typing I need to take advantage of this burst of energy! bye
 
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One day I'll depreciate in value....   
04:06pm 30/03/2004
 
mood: giggly
music: Madcap - Bright Lights, Big City
Only an hour and a half left before I’m done with work for the day. How sad is it that I’m typing this at work and saving it to a disk then adding it to blurty. They still haven’t hooked up the net to the this computer (I don’t think they ever will, you know how facilities works here;)) I def didn’t sleep well last night, I went to bed at midnight but woke up shaking at 2am when I had a dream about finding someone dead. The song View From Heaven by Yellowcard was running through my head not letting the image of the decaying arm escape my mind. I couldn’t go back to sleep, I was scared to close my eyes, esp. with the whole break in incident with Britney’s apartment. I took my golf club and went and sat at my computer. Marko (formerly of IPS) Imed me as soon as he saw that I was awake. I haven’t talked to him in forever. He’s stopped playing bass and now is promoting nightclubs and parties in Atlanta. I sent him some of the new photos I took and told me I was way to deep to be a good charlotte fan, a mest fan or even an IPS fan. He kept saying I would fit in well in his scene and I would be a lot happier. He said I seemed much more like a Goth then a pop punk girl. Talking to him took my mind off the dream so I was able to go back to bed after a while. Though yes I slept with my golf club clutched in my hands. This is the one time I wish I didn’t live alone. I mean if anything happened to me there’s no one that close to protect me. Its scary sleeping alone after something like that break in happened cause now every little sound makes me worry someone is breaking in, it’s like when I was little all over again. I have been so tired all day. But I went to class and work anyways. When I was walking to work after lunch with blue I saw a ROTC boy walking towards me, I made eye contact and it turns out it was Bill. He said Hi and asked me how I was doing and I did the same. He’s a cutie I must say. I seriously think I’m a sucker for any guy with baby blue eyes. They just seem so much more innocent, and we all know I love the sweet innocent ones who have very few friends;) I think its cause that’s how I feel I am, sweet and innocent with only a core group of friends. It helps reduce jealous as I always have time for the people I care about and feel it would be the same way if I liked a guy with only a few friends. I’m hoping Klemish has a party this weekend so I can hang out with Bill, maybe get to know him a little better considering all I know is that his name is Bill and he’s in ROTC;) Haley is hoping for a party to so I can get here invited so she can hang out with ducky. I must say though that Bill is a really fun name to say, it’s like saying Hoobastank! I’ve been studying like a mad woman for my Marine Mammals test that I have Friday. Yet I know that my major problem is understanding what he’s looking for in the questions on the test. Hmm what else to say? Spanish test tomorrow, not real worried about that one. I really really want some free time when I’m motivated so I can paint a painting, not sure what I’d pain, probably a band boy, but still I’d like the energy/ motivation/ time to do it. Last night blue and kandy went to a local hey Sherman show, supposedly the cute boy from St. Patty’s at Meg’s was the drummer in one of the bands. I’m waiting for blue to find out which one so I can stalk him and see if he’s old enough to officially stalk;) I still have an hour left, ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! I really wanna go to the mall to get my dress. I also am already bored with my black hair and wanna buy the Raw Pink Hair Dye and at least re-do the spot in my hair which is now a ugly brownish tan color. Tonight while studying both Spanish and marine mammals I need to make that girl her 2 shirts, though I still haven’t gotten the money for it. I better get it cause I def. owe Schmidty for the Yanks tix. Hmmm, I think that’s about all I have to say at this moment. This is def. improving my typing skills as I am typing while answering phones.;) Well, I’m gonna see if I can sneak into Laura’s office and post this from there, bye bye, Hugs, Cuddles (all very platonic), [I totally love that closing line, hehe]
Grrr, well that didn’t work, turns out the floppy drive on Laura’s computer doesn’t work. Hmph! Well it wasn’t a complete waste as I didn’t find out that Tino Martinez(Former 1st baseman for the Yanks, my fave 1st baseman) is now on the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. So now when I go to the game next Wednesday I’ll get to see a majority of my fave players. Unfortunately not Andy Fox or even Andy Pettitte, but come on, AROD will be there! I’m beyond psyched to see this, yea he won’t be in pinstripes as it is a road game, so it’s all about those road greys, but hey he’d be hot in nothing at all, wait, Duh he’d be hot in nothing at all;* Haha! Hey Blue, Licking Frogs! Hahahahaha PICTURE!! MUAHHAHAHAHA, I’m evil;) I can’t believe he’d never heard of licking frogs to get high, of all people that I would think would know that he is def. the first, I mean come on I’m the most innocent kid ever when it comes to drugs and I knew about it! 30 more minutes left and I’m out like a fat kid in dodge ball, I am totally rambling, whoever actually reads this is probably already bored out of their gourd and has stopped reading;) I think I might wear the Arod shirt I made to the game next week. It’s funny how baseball games are like the opposite of punk shows. You aren’t supposed to wear the shirt of the band you are going to see to a punk show, but hey you better represent what team you’re rooting for when ya go to a sports game;) When I saw the yanks play the mariners back in the days when Arod played for them I word my pinstriped yanks jersey, and then I painted my nails, 1 hand was painted blue with white letters that said Jeter and my other hand was painted mariner green and said Arod in navy blue letters. So yes, my eccentric, obsessive nature is not a new development by any means! I haven’t been to a game in like 4 years so I’m very excited to be seeing my boys again. Lalalalala, I am soooooooooooo bored I just can’t bring myself to study right now, I studied all through when I was working earlier and also all through music class. I’m studied out for the time. I really wanna make myself a new halter top. I have a cool black one Lauren gave me and I love how it looks so now I want ones in other colors? Did you know that according to the Microsoft Word spell check, Humph is a word but Hmph is not. What in the world does Humph mean? Just more useless knowledge, I’m full of it! I’m full of something;) haha, sorry. Boredom has def. got to me. Ok It’s time to go, finally! Paty up in here! Word!
 
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You're Barely Scrapping By....   
10:58pm 29/03/2004
 
mood: geeky
music: NorthStar - Is This Thing Loaded
Ok so I wrote this earlier today and it was pretty long and stuff and half way through my computer decided to restart and erase it. So this is the shorter version and much more tired version;) Well I def. got some news that made me sad today. RYan isn't gonna be here for my graduation:( That sucks, he was my pink haired cheering squad! So that sucks. And then i found out that my neighbor, Britney, was the one who's apartment got broken in to fri while she was in the shower. Scary stuff! I sooooooo live in the ghetto! I've been living with a 3 iron by my side all weekend. It sucks! My mom wants me to buy mase, but I have no idea where you'd even buy that! Like you can't just go to walmart and be like I need mase. hook me up! Or Can I? Who knows! Michelle also told me she heard some one hung them self in Brownlie, i don't know if it's true but that def. freaks me out and makes me really really sad. I wish someone could have helped that person so that didn't happen. I know what it's like to be that down and have no one to turn to. It's hard but there's always a reason to keep living. Yea, My reason turned out to be Good Charlotte, but it really doesn't matter what the reason is as long as it keeps you from doing anything permanant.
Ok off the depressing topics, I'm actually not that depressed considering, I'm feeling a little better then i have lately.(Not as happy as I was at the mest show, but hey it was MEST!). I found the dress I wanna wear for graduation, it's pink and short and i like it cause it's more grown up then like my sun dresses or whatever. I might get it tomorrow if I can get to the mall. I posted my resume on monster.com yet have no idea still what kind of job I want. I did find out that if I wanna move to CA I can get a job with Hurley, Vans, Independent and a million other skate lines. Maybe I'll work in the Melbourne area till I have enough money to move out there and get a real job. Tomorrow I think I'm gonna talk to Todd, the music director at work and see if he knows of any labels I could apply to work for. Cause that would rock! Ok, I think that's it for now, I'm talking to Haley online cause we are talking about stalking boys, and you know I love talking about that;) So Hugs, Cuddles (all very Platonic), the Roaming Knome (sorry had to throw in the Bill reference seeing as I was talking about stalking;))
 
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So much time to think, so little time to breathe...   
12:56am 27/03/2004
 
mood: sore
music: Hit The Lights - Head Over Heels
Song of the day: Head Over Heels by Hit The Lights
Well Mest KICKED ASS! Fallout Boy also rocked my socks hardcore. I got the cup TOny from mest drank out of, I got a bottle Pete from Fallout Boy threw to me and I also found a pair of red slip on chucks. The show was so awesome. I was so into it, I was rockin out with all I had. I screamed out every word like it was my last night ever. I love losing myself that much in something and I haven't done that in a long time. I think the reason I like concerts so much is because it is the only time I let myself not be the one in control. i turn over my control to the band and the music and just let go. I really need to let that control go and hand it over to the band cause lately I've felt like I can't control anything and I need someone to control it for me. Well right now I hurt so bad from head to toe and I feel my throat tightening again so I wanna go to sleep before it gets to bad. so night night
 
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Another day gone by And still no reason why...   
12:19am 22/03/2004
 
mood: cynical
music: Cauterize - Killing Me
Another week down. The Story of the year show last nigth was good. They had so much energy which made it cool. The 1st two bands didn't impress me to much. Hazen St. was good, I think I liked them mostly cause I miss H2O so much. But I liked that thier music was upbeat and the lyrics were about being true to who you are. I was one of the few people at the show who liked them, but oh well. Today sucked though. I've been pretty down since friday i guess. Just jumping on myself for shit that I've lost control of or never had control of. I'm so scared of being forced to grow up I think. It's like I never got to be much of a kid because of my mom always placing all her money worries and family problems on to me including alot of the blame for it and now I have to go out and survive all on my own and I just see that as meaning I'll never be able to afford to have fun anymore. I've been totally slacking on everything that has to do with planning for after graduation. I have no job ideas, no housing ideas, no money ideas. I don't know I'm just extremely stressed. I have really closed myself in lately too, not telling people how I'm feeling in fear that I'll open up to much. I've also started to just hate everything. I'm more bitter then ever. Even the guy I like, I hate because he doesn't care. The only people who don't piss me off here are Blue and Ryan. Well, I def have a test tomorrow and I haven't even studied yet. So it's time to do that. Bye, i just can't wait for thurs, Mest will make things better, at least for the day.
 
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11:55pm 19/03/2004
 
mood: melancholy
music: Promise Ring - Make Me a Chevy
Me, Blue and Ryan went to see Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind. It was reallyr really good, way better then I was expecting. I totally related to the girl, Clementine. It was scary at times how I related to her. At first I thought I was gonna related to Jim Carrey's charecter cause in the beginning he says "Why do I fall in love with any girl that pays me any kind of attention?" That's my life story, a guy pays attention to me and that's all it takes to get me to fall for them. But then as the movie went on I related to Clementine instead. Jim Carrey says something to her about "pasting her personality" meaning that she dyes her hair to show her personality. This hit me weird and I'm not sure if it hit me good or bad yet. Then when they showed the little potato men she made i could relate cause of the art thing. There was a bunch of parts of the movie that I just totally felt like they were talking about me, it was weird, got me to thinking, which never turns out well. I really wanna watch it again so I can see everything I missed along the way and just to see why it made me think so much.
Well i don't have a hero of the day for today, sorry, just nothing stood out for me, it was a pretty dull day besides the movie. So here's to hopes of a better tomorrow, I'm hoping seeing as tomorrow is the 1st day of the Hazen St. tour that benji and Joel will be at the show cause Hazen St is the main band on D.C> Flag records. Now that's the record label I need to get a job with! Well my mashed potatos are done, so bye bye
 
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Her life was magazines and faithful tv screens....   
12:59am 19/03/2004
  Hero Of The Day: Ryan
Thanks for taking me to the show and thanks even more for saying you'd miss going to shows with me if I started liking Rap;) The show was ok, I'll write more tomorrow, night night
 
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12:25am 17/03/2004
  P.S. blue they just mentioned that Micheal Jackson video where he turns into a car on Jay Leno! It was directed by Kevin Smith;) It was a whole movie! Just thought I'd let ya know:)  
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Some Call It Stalking, I Call it Love...   
12:20am 17/03/2004
  I think that the Hero Of The Day is Mr. Chuck Taylor himself! I got new shoes in the mail today and they are the sexiest shoes ever! Black satan high top chucks with lavender laces. Beautiful, so beautiful I'm afriad to wear them cause they'll get dirty;) I really want a reason to dress up like a dance or a fancy dinner so i can get myself a black satan dress to wear with the shoes:) Well I really should go finish reading the book Caleb let me borrow cause if I keep staying up and being a procrastinator I'll never wake up for classes tomorow. So Happy St. Patty's day, as it is 12:06am so it is the 17th:) Hope the leprachaun is good to you and you have all the luck in the world, here's a few irish things for you:) Don't forget to wear green all day or else you'll get pinched by me:)

These things, I warmly wish for you-
Someone to love,
Some work to do,
A bit of o’ sun
A bit o’ cheer
And a guardian angel
Always near.


May your blessings outnumber
The Shamrocks that grow
And may trouble avoid you
Wherever you go.


May you have all the happiness And luck that life can hold- And at the end of your rainbows May you find a pot of gold.



Two lil leprechauns went off to St Mary's convent and begged an audience with the mother superior. "well, how can I help you little folk?" asked the Mother Superior.
The larger and more intelligent looking of the leprechauns asked "Well, mother superior, would you be a knowing any midget nuns here at the convent?"
"Afraid not," replies Mother Superior, "there are no midget nuns here"
"all right then, would you be knowing of any midget nuns in all of Ireland then?"
"Well, no," replied Mother Superior, "none that I know of."
"Well then, in the whole world of nuns, would you know of any Midget nuns?"
"No, I would'nt - there are no midget nuns in the whole of the world!" said Mother Superior, "and would you please tell me what this is all about?"
The asking leprechaun turned sadly to the stupid leprechaun and said "well, I told you so...you've been dating a Penguin."


Blue will love this one: There's this new Irish restaraunt being built in downtown Boston. They're going to serve 7-course gourmet Irish meals.
Everyone coming in the door gets a potato and a six pack...
 
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Buck Up Little Camper Don't Be Sad...   
06:59pm 15/03/2004
 
mood: anxious
music: Brat- Inky Pinky Ponky
So far Hero Of The Day goes to my friend becky, she got this huge snake tattoo across her chest and she said it hurt like hell. I'd like to say, yes I know I'm a sucker. So a boy called me his girl today so i bought him a cookie, technically I didn't pay for it yet, my loans did so I can't be considered to much of a sucker on that one. Well this is the first break i've had all day and actually I should be writing my journals for music. I've got about 10 mins before I have to leave for my marine mammals study group. I got my St. Patty's Day presrnt today, my mom is to cool, I thought the bathing suit was my present but it turns out she got me the skirt I wanted to! So maybe my mom is the hero of the day. I have presents for Blue, Ry, Micah and Caleb, hopefully they'll love them as much as I loved my present:) Currently my list of boys that are ok in my book are as follows: Blue, Ry, Bishop, Bill;), Kenny and Danny Daratany, Yogi, Schmidty, Woody, Joe, Dan, Paul and Phil (aka the 4 former DH boys), Mark, Tom, Rossi, Ducky;). Josh and I'm sure I'm forgetting a few, but those are the ones I can think of right now. Well it seems it is time for me to go try to learn about those horrid marine mamals so I can graduate in May. We all knew it was gonna be the class that is actually based on my major that was gonna be the determining factor. Ok, ttyl, Bye
 
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Your the $ and the bomb but I talk about your mom!!!   
05:44pm 11/03/2004
 
mood: giddy
music: Atmosphere - Lovelife
Hero Of The Day= Danny Daratany!
he saw me walking towards him and was like look a parrot, and I was like Hey! And he was like but it's such a cute Parrot! :) Then he proceeded to pick me up over his shoulder and started to carry me to Olin, it was funny cause my class was def in the opposite direction! He put me down gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek!! He's such a sweetheart! Also I AM GOING TO SEE BLINK 182 and TAKING BACK SUNDAY ON MAY 8th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Super psyched like you would not believe!! Woo!!! Would Like to say it's nice to see Bitches Stay Bitches, and Dicks Stay Dicks! I had a point proven today, of course no one that knew about the situation saw it, but hell it made me feel good! Today has been a good, first in a long time. I'm hungry, it will be Cup O Noodle Time soon. So yesterday i was playing Edmund and def broke another pick!!! That's Pretty Hardcore If i Do Say So Mysefl! I was playign Cute Without The E, so maybe it's symbolic some how, who knows;) I also have this massive blister on my finger from playing but I do now know how to play I Miss You by Blink 182, maybe that's what made this whole TBS/ Blink thing happen;) haha , I love concidences!!!! Well hopefully this day keeps going this well, Maybe by the end of the night I'll be making out with Benji in a swimming pool filled with Hundred Dollar Bills, HAHA! That'd rock! It's Benji and Joel's Birthday today so I'm sure they are out living it up, that's exactly what I wish I was currently doing;) ROCK ON!
 
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