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[18 Sep 2003|05:21pm] [ mood | guilty ] [ music | Lucy Woodward - While You Can ] *Runs her hands through her hair, which wasn't as blonde as it once was it had begun to lose it's lusture and she had decided to just let it go on an be a dirty blonde-almost-light brown color. Her hues of hazel danced about the room for a moment as she let out an audiable sigh, clearly feeling distraught, lonely, and unbelievably still guilty over the incident that happened over a couple of weeks ago. She tugged lightly on the bottom of her powder blue tank top smoothing it out as she ran one of her hands down the leg of the black leather pants that clung to her body much like the dark slayer's do. After a moment or two of more silence in the confines of her room upstairs, she finally gave up decided to retreat to her good ol' trusty journal for a little comfort and a chance to finally get some kind of closure on the things that were troubling her mind a great deal as of late* I've been avoiding this for a while, I know. And to be honest I'd avoid it a whole lot longer too but I guess I should do this now. Things have been all awkward lately. Dawn and Xander have been having ... problems. I don't know what happened, but from what I saw recently in these things it involved Andrew. This kind of reminds me of what happened between the four of us not but a couple of weeks ago. If you don't know what happened, oh well. I don't want to bring it up in my journal right now. Want to really know? Ask me. I'll tell you. Otherwise it's none of your business, or whatever. *oh so hostile right now* I think I sound hostile. If I do, I think it's because I am. I can't seem to shake the feeling that even if he said he forgave me that he really can't. I don't know, maybe he really did forgive me but I can't accept it. But it's doubtful. I hurt him with what I did. And I know it. That's why I didn't want to tell anyone. And why the Bot is on it's last chance because I swear I'm scrapping it. Enough of me feeling sorry for myself. I told myself I would stop doing that now. And ... here I am, all guilty. Slaying doesn't help either. I can't be in a cemetary without ... *trails off ... thinking about what happened in the cemetary while they were in their past!selves, vividly. COUGHS!! O_O* ... feeling really guilty. And that doesn't help me get any vamps and demons slayed, at all. My `normal girl` job doesn't help me either. I was lucky that my past!self didn't get me fired from my job. I know she tried to start something with Angel, which luckily he knew it wasn't really me and nothing happened and there was no reappearance of Angelus. Because that would have been bad. A lovelorn!me and a psycho!faith running around with Angelus on the loose? That would have ended up with someone dying. *pauses a moment `;/` facing as she started feeling bad with how she and her came back to the future, no pun intended - with her stabbing her in the stomach, déja vu..* Which us coming back with me stabbing her in the stomach wasn't fun either ... but at least this time Faith wasn't stuck in a coma for months. Anyway, I'm done. Wills, wanna hang? ;/ If the Apocalypse Comes Beep Me.

[22 Aug 2003|04:33pm] [ mood | exhausted ] [ music | the best of me - the starting line ] *cracks her knuckles slightly as she dug the laptop from it's carrying bag and set it on the bed, flopping down onto it as she ran her index finger along the outside of it for a moment before quickly opening it and logging into blurty. she lets out a soft sigh, thankful to be back, to be in her well . . . to be back where she belonged and not be . . . in that . . . horrible nightmare that was the past* So, Faith and I are back, to the uh . . . present. Will was able to find a spell somewhere that brought us back, back to the present since we were all . . . 1999 again. *she gnawed on her bottom lip for a moment, tapping her fingers on the computer lightly and scanned her eyes around the room* Heh' . . I don't remember anything that happened when I went in my little trip to the past, I only get little flashes here and there. I don't know about Faith. I think her old self said a lot of things to Connor, seems to be a little . . . weird between them right now. Speaking of weird, I don't know what the hell the old me did, but I get the feeling she may have said a few things to some people, I don't know but I swear if I'm doing damage control for uh . . . myself now, I'm going to end up ripping my hair out. *snorts quietly, hoping that her past!self hadn't messed anything she had going for her up, she didn't want that when her life was finally getting just a little normal for it to go topsy-turvy and be ruined for a good long while* Also, while I was . . ``gone``? Did everything go to bizarro land or something? I swear. I come `back` to find everyone acting weirder than usual. Will someone please clue me in on what in the hell happened while Faith and I had our little encounter *clears her throat, quietly, shifting a bit* ... with our past. Changing the subject now. Xaaaand, Wiiiiills - I miss you guys. Lets uh . . hang or something, I'm sick and fucking tired of the distance between myself and my best friends. *cracks her neck lightly, stifling a small yawn and stretches a bit on the bed a wave of . . . boredom passing through her* Well I'm all ... updated-out right now, figured I'd do some updateage about how I'm ``back to normal`` now and try to see if this thing will help me find out what in the hell has gone on around here. It's going to get dark soon, might see if Faith, Dawnie, Spike or . . . hell, even Angel and Cordy feels like . . patrolling, anything. Oh, did you guys kill Robin or the Bot while we were gone? . . . I want to know if we had a decrease in numbers or not. If the Apocalypse Comes Beep Me.

[11 Aug 2003|08:11pm] [ music | Some band called . . . Maroon 5? . . . ] -- she sat at the computer in the oddly decorated room, confused and scared. She scooted closer to the computer and fingered for the mouse, looking at the notebook beside her. It was a username and password. Just like the journal she had a home . . . but it was different. She quickly went to the login page and put in ``b_summers``; password ``******``. She waited impatiently as the site loaded and was actually surprised when she saw a journal that . . . was supposedly hers . . . pop up. She sat there for a moment in confusion before letting out an exasperated sigh and let her fingers linger at the keys, trying to either explain or . . . get some explanation for what in the hell has happened to her and where the hell she happened to be. -- I woke up early this morning for school like I normally do, y'know I try to at least try to go to school. Even if Snyder has it in for me and I'm not exactly the world's best student. But I try, that's what matters . . . right? -- she blew a few pices of the unfamiliar hair out of her face as she stared at the computer screen in front of her with her mouth agape somewhat. -- Anyway. So, I go to get up and I'm in a strange room. Even stranger, I'm in bed with SPIKE of all people. An evil disgusting VAMPIRE, I mean not that . . . I don't . . . Angel's different. He's not evil. Sure he was once . . . but he's a good guy now. And I love him. Spike however, I wouldn't mind turning him into a pile of ashes and fitting him into an ashtray in no time. After dealing with the case of wiggins I got from waking up like that with the thing that I was in the bed with, I went downstairs . . . sorta thinking that it was just a dream. I should have noticed that not only was this house extremely different but there were people I don't know in it. This girl, with dark hair . . she had her tongue pierced, she was talking about Willow. About something like how she wishes she'd talk to her and she missed her. Something about loving her. Then she noticed me and was all `Hey, Buffy`. Now I've got another case of the wiggins. I mean . . . this girl is talking about loving my best friend. Who is not gay, I mean hello Oz? And then she knows me. While I have no clue who in the hell she is. I just smile and nod and go looking around more. I see Xand, he looks well . . . he looks older. And has an eye patch on. He also is drinking beer, yes at 6:00 in the morning. Also kinda weird since . . . we're only 18. He doesn't notice me, so I move on and see Will. She looks also, older. Way different and she's talking about this girl. She called her Kennedy. I think this was the same girl that said `Hey` to me. I got out of that room kind of quick. I mean, I woke up in bed with my mortal enemy and see that my friends have been put under this spell to age them, Xander is missing an eye and drinking, and Will is going on about being a lesbian or something. I head to find the paper. I thought this had to be some kind of dream . . . a weird, crazy wacky dream. I mean me and SPIKE?! Xander . . . with no EYE? And Will dating GIRLS? -- she blinked several times. she loved her friends she did, but there was no way this was her life. It couldn't be . . . could it? -- So, I pick up the paper and look at the date. It says August 11, 2003. Which had to be a mistake. It's supposed to be March 11, 1999. There was no way I was in the future. It was just a bad . . . bad . . . bad dream. And of course it was, especially when I saw Angel getting snuggly with Cordelia. Angel. MY Angel. With CORDELIA! After seeing that, I ran. I ran outside. I ran as far as I could dressed the way I was. Which was in my pajamas. Or . . . someone's pajamas. That weren't mine. They were funny looking. I had to get away. Get out of there. It had to be a dream. This wasn't the world. I was asleep. At home in my bed. My mom was about to come wake me for school. School where I can see the real Xand and Will and then later I get snuggly with Angel. Well . . . not too snuggly. Don't want him to lose his soul. I was wrong. So here I am. Buffy Anne Summers. Age 18. Stuck in my -- she looks down a bit at herself and then looks into the mirror. she had changed so much. her hair wasn't as blonde as it was before, her face had changed too. She looked so much older. She looked over herself a little more, and thought of the date. -- 22 year old body. [ if you couldn't tell this is a past!buffy post :-* ] If the Apocalypse Comes Beep Me.

[11 Aug 2003|05:28pm] HI FAITH AND BUFFY GOT IN A FIGHT WITH THIS DEMON AND NOW THEY ARE STUCK IN THEIR BODIES FROM 1999 WHILE THEIR 1999 SELVES ARE IN THEIR 2003 SELVES :D :D :D Will can come to the past too and try to help them or something? Hi that's me in my im with Em. Just to let you all know that Em and I are going to play this out as if future!buffy and future!faith got into this fight with this demon and he sent them back into their past!buffy and past!faith selves from the 3rd season. This would be around the time of `The Zeppo`/`Bad Girls`/`Consequences`/`Dopplegangland`/`Enemies`. And yeah like I said above, after Em and I make our first posts, Mari if you wanna bring future!will back to the past to help 'em out to get back to the future that'd be cool. So get this straight . . . the future buffy and faith are now in their past bodies which in turn caused their past buffy and faith selves go into the future selves. So - s8 buffy and faith are in their s3 bodies and s3 buffy and faith are in their s8 bodies. :D :D Okay there I'm done and we're using different journals for both of the buffys and faiths. And we will put tags at the bottom of whether this is past!buffy or future!buffy or past!faith or future!faith and so on. Please stay tuned for your regularly scheduled program ;) 1 -- If the Apocalypse Comes Beep Me.

[05 Aug 2003|07:40am] [ mood | tired ] [ music | Everyone in the house ... snoring ._. ] Oh look, Buffy's up at an ungodly hour in the morning. Can we say ... insomnia? Grr fucking argh. And it's not even close enough time for me to actually get ready for work. Not for a couple of hours. And eating whatever is in the kitchen does not work, sadly. Okay how unfair is this? Really. Stupid insomnia and how I can't take sleeping pills or I'll never wake up! Hrm ... someone wake up and keep me company. Heh'. Maybe I'll actually make my way into Spike's room again go on back to bed an .. *shifts* sleep. Yes, sleep. Or try to. Whee. Wish me luck ;) If the Apocalypse Comes Beep Me.

[03 Aug 2003|08:46pm] [ mood | bored;slightly pissed;devious ] [ music | `All You Wanted` - Michelle Branch ] *closes the door to her room to get some privacy as she moved over to the laptop and logged into Blurty with a soft smile on her features. So much has happened in the past few days ... some good some ... not so good. And she needed to try for a little release in the updatey sense. She cracked her knuckles a bit and grazed her fingers over the keys lightly* So things aren't as boring as they were the last time I updated in this thing. Weird how things change so quickly and makes life way different. I bet only a few people know what I'm talking about? .. Maybe? Okay so since I'm due for one of those real lengthy, maybe sort of deep, explainy updates I figure this could be it. Sort of. And I've probably lost anyone actually reading this. Yay me! :D I'll start with the smaller news. Start off small and get to the bigger news or something. I got a job. Actually I think I might have two jobs? I don't know. But neither of them have to do with me flipping burgers or going to high school and being a guidance counselor. I'm working for one of those coffee shop places now. Y'know the ones sort of like the Espresso Pump? But not really Starbucksy. I figure the caffiene fiends most of us are, that it'd be kind of cool to work in a coffee shop and be able to steal get free stuff, of course that ... my boss doesn't know about but still! And also since I haven't seen hardly any of you lately; unless your names are Spike, Faith, Andrew, Buffy Bot, and you get the picture, that since like I said just about everyone in this house needs a daily java-fix that maybe I'll actually SEE some of you once in a while. >:o. *she sucked in a breath slowly, somewhat nerved by the hostility that was still in the air between the people living in ... her? house. it pissed her off that everyone just got so .. detached after the damned apocalypse when almost everyone here has experienced more than one apocalypse and what made this one any different other than the loss of loved ones and it being against the ultimate evil* And .. before I get hostile I'll move on now right? Okay. Spike and I talked a few nights ago, a lot actually. We found time to be unavoidy and try to sort out where the hell we go from here. After much ... talking, we kind of figured why don't we just try. Try and have some kind of a real `relationship`. Which before any of you sit and tell me that this is a bad idea, I've got something to say ... `Fuck you`. We talked about this first. Do any ONE of you actually remember what I was like BEFORE he was back? I was different, way different. Almost as if he took something from me when he left. Also, as Dawn once said to me (not about this subject particularly, but in general) ... this is my private life. What I choose to do with my life is none of your businesses. You all may be my friends and family but you are not me. And NONE of you are ruling me by telling me that this isn't a good thing. I've stuck by all of you, in your decisions and never downed your decisions of who you happen to fall for and be involved with. So DON'T do it to me. Thanks. Oh, and this isn't directed toward anyone exactly - it's just me mouthing off about how this is my life and none of you can tell me what to do. I'm not a little girl anymore. Not .. that I really listened to anyone who's ever told me what to do in the first place .. but still. But, back to my point. I want this. To try this relationship stuff with him. I know my .. history with guys is kind of stellar, that I haven't exactly had any real luck in the boyfriend-department but I don't really care. I actually thought that I'm being selfish and unfair to him. He has a new chance at life. He's human now. He could anything he wanted now, he could leave and go do other things but he stays here. With me. *shrugs her shoulders a bit while shifting on her bed onto her side, moving the laptop at an angle* .. and I think I won't continue with that before I ramble on anymore about it. ;/ Connor, Angel's son is here now. He seems like a good kid, I guess. I haven't exactly talked to him but Will met him when she went to LA and brought Faith back with her. That and Faith kinda likes him, I guess. She said he could stay here, and I guess that's alright too I mean we do have a few extra rooms anyway and it's good to get 'em used? Also the more people we have fighting the forces of evil, the better. The only drawback was that Angel kind of followed him here or something. And can I just say .. damn you Angel. Damn you for your timing. You come here and make with the shadowy lurking and such and it's CONVENIENT that you happen to surface after I'm finally getting some sort of a normal life and getting everything situated while also finally moving past the confusing stage of where I am with Spike. But I'm not going to say anything else here to you since I think we need to talk anyway ... later. Last night I went on patrol, I didn't bring anyone with me I had wanted to get in a little slayage on my own. I'm kind of wishing I hadn't of gone on my own since, seeing as the part of town I was in being the skanky part of town I had to dress the part since I was on a little ... recon trying to track some kind of demon shapeshifter type guy in a few of the places down there and got one too many looks that kind of made me a little uneasy but .. eh. This one vamp got the better of me and threw me into a headstone, hitting my back. I swear I woke up this morning still feeling `the burn`. *grumbles under her breath for a moment and then remembers the irky dream she had the night before and decided to mention it* I also had this .. really weird dream. I don't know if it was prophetic or anything like my normal Slayer dreams or .. just because I've watched one too many horror movies lately. But it was weird. There were these .. posessed kangaroo looking demons, I can't remember their names but they had these like seriously wicked looking talons. Definetly not too up on the hygein, they were .. pretty much unkillable - not by swords or stakes, the could only be killed by something made `before steel` or whatever. There were also some .. Glory-like elements to it that Dawn was captured and this group of seriously whacked out vamps, one of 'em kinda strong with the mojo wanting to `bleed the Key onto the seal and open it` to cause like .. hell on earth or something. Everyone was .. pretty much not killed or .. almost everyone. *bites down on her lower lip for a moment sucking some air in slowly as a few tears stung at her eyes and she quickly wiped them away .. not wanting to cry, to worry over this .. probably insignificant dream also not wanting to go into details over how he died in her dream, but obviously pretty disturbed by it still* I woke up, seriously wigged out and I did what any girl would probably do. I quietly went and tiptoed into Spike's room and crawled into his bed (not in the sexual way, thanks >:o), awaking him and had him hold me which is where I later fell alseep at, in his arms. *clears her throat a bit and shifted again on the bed not really wanting or knowing how to go further and let out a small sigh before running her tongue along her lower lip for a moment and cracked her neck lightly* ... That was probably more information and any of you need but yeah, I had a bad dream everyone and I probably should talk to Giles about it, see if he can Mulder out what my dream could have been about maybe and if it was a prophetic Slayer dream. And now ... I'm going to see if anyone either wants to .. hang, or go on patrol with me because I am bored like something fierce right now. Which reminds me, I have to go grocery shopping later ... anyone want anything in particular? If you don't tell me now then you're shit out of luck :o If the Apocalypse Comes Beep Me.

[22 Jul 2003|09:32pm] [ mood | horny ] [ music | `Empty Handed` - Michelle Branch ] *digs the laptop out from underneath her bed and opens it quickly, logging into the internet and pulling up the blurty journalling site and logs into her journal pulling up the update page. She took a swig from the water bottle beside her and pulled her hair up quickly into a makeshift bun while trying to think of what in the world to update about* Okay so, I haven't updated in this thing in a while but surprisingly it's Faith and I who are actually keeping up with these things. *coughs a bit with a slight glare in her eyes* Yes, that is a HINT for some people to get their asses in gear and update. *she typed, with a artifical smile on her face* Well, from the last time I updated I've pretty much done nothing. I think that's a good thing .. right? Or .. maybe it's just saying I have no life. *she shrugs a bit with a soft frown now on her face* I've pretty much hung around with Faith, Spike, the Bot and .. I guess, Andrew. I still haven't seen much of Will, Dawn, Giles, and Kennedy. Xand came around and was somewhat social with the rest of us, but it kind of ended badly and he went of into the other room where Faith followed and talked or .. had a heart-to-heart or .. something. So if you were paying attention to the sitch from *referring to the paragraph above* above paragraph, we were left alone in the kitchen. *a soft laugh escapes from her lips as she got a slightly ironic look on her face* So, I took my advice from Faith .. well, I loosely took my advice from her, seeing as she told me to just jump on him and ride him to a gallop. *her eyes widened a bit as she realized how that must of sounded about the situation in the kitchen* Which .. SO didn't happen, by the way. But, anyway. I brought up what I told him in the cavern before he .. *makes a gesture with her hands* kaplooey, and we sort of got `closure` or whatever on the subject of `us. Or .. some closure at least, not a awkward silencey tensiony moment which actually got us .. somewhere. So again, anyway. I had this dream earlier today and I figure since this is my personal journal and it's not like anyone .. really reads it anyway I'll just up and post it in here, might do me some good right? Right. I'll use the cut tag thing just in case someone does read it and doesn't want to read the er .. content of this. ( My dream ) *a soft blush is now over her as she read over that with a small lump in her throat* Like I said, it was a .. *coughs* personal dream so don't judge. Or I'll have to hurt you and never ever post personal things in this ever again if I'm going to be judged for them. *she waved her hand in front of her face for a moment, trying to make the flush go out of her cheeks* I uh .. think I'm going to go see if .. Faith wants to go .. patrol or something. Yeah .. *nods quickly before mumbling `God I need a life` and presses `Update Journal` and logs out of the computer hoping no one sees this post .. ever ;[* 29 -- If the Apocalypse Comes Beep Me.

[10 Jul 2003|11:35pm] Useless pointless update. Just to say that beer is bad - well for Buffy it is. It's okay for an hour or so until the pounding headache and hangover-from-hell kicks in. So instead, I'm getting my carton of Ben & Jerry's 'Chubby Hubby' ice cream and watching 'Just Married' and be jealous of Brittany Murphy and drool over Ashton Kutcher thank you. So if you need me, I'll be on the couch. Faith - if you get bored with just sitting there and not being able to find the Bot, you can join me. Need the company. If the Apocalypse Comes Beep Me.

[05 Jul 2003|10:18pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | Haunted - Evanescence ] *she sighed quietly, opening the laptop and setting it into her lap as she kicked her legs up onto the table, resting the base of the laptop against her knees with a small yawn as she rolled her eyes quickly, scanning the room for any sign of life whatsoever* So, patrol has been kind of a bust lately. It's like, all the demony types have just ... gone into hiding for the holiday or something. *a soft laugh escapes from her lips as her brows furrowed slightly and her face screwed up into a soft frown, rubbing her forehead for a moment - moving a few pieces of her bangs away from her eyes* It's been kind of lack. And it's been REALLY boring. As much as Faith tries to insist that her and the Bot have nothing going on, I don't believe it. When I go on patrol alone, she always ends up taking her and they come back all ... rough looking. Like I did when I'd come home from a all-nighter with Spike last year. Well, that and the looks they give each other and the way the Bot acts around her. *she cracked her neck lightly, then rolling it into a circle as she rolled her shoulders back - trying to get slightly comfortable in the position she was sitting in the chair* Everyone still has been so ... distancey. Save Faith, the Bot, Spike, and myself. But even I can see a little distance between myself and others. *a slight frown appeared on her face as she closed her eyes for a moment, sighing quietly - wondering why was that. why there was so much distance between herself and him and then shrugged it off, blaming it on what probably just was the after-effects of ressurection* I still want to take Wills out for some get-lots-of-mocha-maybe-see-a-movie-best-friend-girly-time. And then I'll go check on Xand, see if I can help him Mulder out those ... bad confusing feelings he's been havin'. Or at least try to. Maybe, the three of us can do something. Because I miss my best friends ;/ Anyway, I'm still bored and this kind of kept my attention for 2.4 seconds so ... I'm going to go see if I can find Faith, Spike or hell, maybe even the Bot and go make another sweep. And ... if I'm that bored, swing by the Bronzey-type-place I found that Faith mentioned in her post earlier. *she yawned for a moment. moved her mose to the 'update journal' button and proceeded to slide out of the chair, pulling her coat tighter around her and grabs her stake, placing it in the back of her jeans and goes to find Faith, Spike or the Bot to go on a quick patrol with her* If the Apocalypse Comes Beep Me.

† Cause I don't want to waste another moment - [27 Jun 2003|01:10pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | Breathe ‡ Michelle Branch ] "-- in saying things we never meant to say" *she stifled a small yawn from her lightly pink colored lips while she shifted a bit onto her side where she lie on sprawled somewhat, on the bed with the laptop in front of her and she focused her eyes onto the keys in front of her, before pressing on each of them lightly to write out it was that she had wanted to say and turning the stereo next to her up a little louder while it was playing Michelle Branch's new cd "Hotel Paper" at the moment on track 9, "Breathe" and she quietly sang along to it as she got down to the business of her trying to make a post in her "online diary" that was open in front of her with the annoying cursor blink incessantly* So, I haven't exactly been in the "update-y" mood lately. I've been, surprisingly busy. Even if Cleveland is the new Hellmouth - you wouldn't think it'd be as big with the demony types as Sunnydale was, because it's a big city and Sunnydale was nowheresville, California - right? Wrong. It's the exact opposite. It's like - all the baddies who were in Sunnydale (before it was destroyed) all just came to Cleveland and set up shop here, instead. Faith and I have been going out slaying pretty much every night. We let Kennedy go out with some of the new Slayers one night, just to see if she could handle it all on her own. And no one died. *a soft frown appeared on her face as her forehead creased slightly and her brows furrowed a bit in disappointment as the song changed, and it was now on track 8 "Desperately" and she quickly turned the stereo up a few notches louder, singing along with it a little more loudly now since her voice was being drowned out by the music itself* Xander has been kind of bad-moody lately. I think, it's him wishing we had brought Anya back instead of Spike. We're supposed to try again though, to bring Anya back this time, since it doesn't look like Spike came back "wrong" or anything. *she mumbled quitely under her breath, slightly distressed over the mood that the vampire had been in lately* No, it's more like he didn't even want to be brough back, in the first place. Not that I'd blame him. Resurrection gives you jet lag from hell. I think Faith and I are going to try and find a Bronze-substitute, we all need to get out of the house but it was Faith's idea when we were on patrol last night, and I was wanting a place to blow off a little steam anyway. And it keeps her from taking the Bot out with her anywhere, because I don't even wanna know what they'd end up doing. *she shook her head slightly, in disgust and rolled over onto her other side, propping herself up with her elbow now trying to type with only one hand* Will has been kind of quiet lately. She's been kind of avoidy and I don't know if it's that she's disappointed that she couldn't bring Anya back for Xander or not, but I'm worried. It's givin' me a wiggins and I haven't even used the word in a long time, so it mean something. Maybe I'll try to pry her away from Kennedy sometime, and just go do to girly best friend type thing with her. Let her know someone's here if she needs to talk to anyone, and that it's not her fault we weren't able to bring Anya back. It just probably only worked one spell, one person. And I'll probably go try and get Xand back into the Xan-Man mode again. Because I miss spending time with my best friends and I live with them and see them everyday. Oh, and Dawn, I hid "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets". *she eyed over the post quickly, hoping that's all she wanted to say since she didn't want to be multiple-update-gal today and then nodded a bit, moving the mouse over the the 'update journal' button and closing her laptop before sliding off of her bed and bounding down the stairs in search of Will, Xand, Giles, Faith, Kennedy, or Spike - someone, anyone to talk to to pass the time* If the Apocalypse Comes Beep Me.

[16 Jun 2003|07:16am] [ mood | drained ] Insomnia strikes again. No really, lets 'yay' for the insomnia. *she shifted a bit turning onto her side with the laptop in front of her* Talked to Xand yesterday, brought up the subject of ressurection. I don't know if he was really all for it or if he was just y'know, humoring me - but I think we should do this. Angel is coming back/by sometime tonight with this majickal orb-jar thingie he went to get for Willow's spell. So we should have everything, hopefully by then. Dawn has been research-girl and has been trying to do translations for the spell to help Wills out. I think maybe I'll go find Faith, see if she wants to.. do something, find somewhere to train, whatever - just to do something before this all goes down. *she mumbled under her breath* And to keep me from going too crazy in the meantime. [[Yes, I hope this is ok. I want to bring 'em back tonight ;-; so lets try to be online tonight, guys? :)]] If the Apocalypse Comes Beep Me.

‡ These foolish games... are tearing me apart. [10 Jun 2003|08:38pm] [ mood | discontent ] [ music | Foolish Games --†-- Jewel ] *she sighed quietly. opening the laptop and logging into her journal. she stares at the cursor for a few moments. trying to think of what to say. how to say it. she a few pieces of her hair out of her face and shifted a bit* So. We did it. We averted the apocalypse. Defeated? or.. hurt, The First. Something, we didn't think we would have been able to do. We did. Well, we all did it. But it was the people we lost, that we are indebted to. *she ran a hand through her hair, cracking her neck a bit and rolled her shoulders back - stifling a small yawn* It's not over though. There's still the Hellmouth in Cleveland. So, we stopped off.. to mend everyone's wounds - pick up some supplies, and clothes for everyone. A few of the po--Slayers, went home to their families. A few of them have stayed with us. While we've picked up a few of the new Slayers along the way. So it's, "Goodbye Sunnydale, California ... and hello Cleveland, Ohio". *a soft laugh escaped from her lips and she ran her tongue lightly along the inside of her cheek* It's different now. Faith and I aren't the only Slayers anymore. Now, there are.. tons? I don't want to say thousands.. but, there are more than we thought there were. I'm not the only one with the burden of being a Slayer anymore. I can finally be.. normal again after the past.. 8 years. Or slightly normal, anyway. I get to be the normal 22 year old woman now. Who hangs out with her friends, has fun, dates, and does "normal" things. Sure.. there's the Slaying thing still. Since Cleveland is the 2nd "Home of the Hellmouth", but we're not in Sunnydale anymore. And there are more Slayers now. I just.. I wish.. *she inhaled deeply, gripping at her hair a bit before slowly exhaling. choking back a few tears, quickly wiping them away with the back of her hand. looking around her, making sure that no one saw her* ...he didn't die. I finally.. tell him the truth, that I love him, and he.. he doesn't believe me and then, faces his death? I wonder, if I had.. just stayed longer and tried harder if he wouldn't of done what he done. He would be here. I wouldn't have this funny feeling anymore, or hopefully not. I try to think of it as he's not gone. That.. he's just sleeping. Waiting for the night to come. *she laughed, quietly. a small look spreading on her face, with a slight smile* I actually thought I heard him the other night. Which, is crazy really. Since he's.. not here anymore. *she wrinkled her nose a bit. contorting her face to a slight frown. thinking to herself: "Is this how he felt when I died? Did he feel this.. awful? Did he cry like I have, like I do? .. God. How pathetic am I? Christ Buffy, get.. on with it. You took your time, you didn't tell him how you felt and this is what happens. This is what happens when you close people away for too long. This is how you feel."* *she forced a slight smile. gritting her teeth and clenching her cheeks somewhat*... Maybe I'll go and.. find out what Wills, Xand, Dawn, and Giles are up to. And ask Xand and Dawnie what's this I heard about.. a maids outfit? *she quirked a brow slightly with a small intrigued look on her face* Hm, we also need to get food. I want some cookie dough ice cream :/ If the Apocalypse Comes Beep Me.

[29 Apr 2003|09:58pm] [ mood | exhausted ] [ music | Strong Enough - Stacie Orrico ] I-I don’t know what… what to say. Other than, things… they… got so… much. I started this day a leader. And now, near the end of it… I’m an outcast. My own sister kicked me out of my house. MY SISTER. MY BLOOD. She kicked me out. The girls… the “troops”, they obviously like Faith better. Would much rather have her lead them. And everyone… everyone who was in the house rallied against me. Drove me out. I remember hearing Ronna on my way out say “Ding dong the witch is dead”. Faith followed me out. I told her not to … *she wiped a few tears from her eyes. Before sobbing quietly again, finally getting herself together* … not to be afraid. To lead the girls. And to protect them. Passing my “leadership” on to her, probably was one of the more harder things of my life. But it was… relieving. Anya said that I thought of myself being better than everyone. But I don’t… not… not anymore. I can’t. I have to make mistakes. What kind of person doesn’t? But… I guess my mistakes are weighted more than others, since I think I’m so much better than everyone. I was handed these powers. I didn’t want them. I did however, embrace them. And the responsibilities that came with them. But.. whatever. I guess I’m done. I’m obviously not “fit” to be “leader-material”. *she shrugged for a moment before closing her eyes and then the laptop and pulling her knees up to her chest and resting her head on her knees in thought* ( Strong Enough ) If the Apocalypse Comes Beep Me.

[15 Apr 2003|09:32pm] [ mood | stressed ] [ music | Don't Look At Me - Stacie Orrico ] Don't look at me If you're lookin' for perfection Don't look at me I will only let you down I'll do my best To point you in the right direction Don't look at me oh no no no Don't look at me Look at him I should just start this off from the beginning maybe? *makes a slight face* So, Will got the call to go to LA; she did whatever it was they needed her to do and then she called back to say that she was bringing Faith back with her. I wasn't mad or pissed about her bringing Faith back with her or anything, I mean we need her. We need anyone we can get actually. So, Faith came back. Wills and Faith also found a Potential on their way and got her to the hospital. And then we found out about Caleb. Wait.. I'm getting ahead of myself. *waits a beat* Ah, screw it. Well; after getting fired by Robin, because he feels I have better things to be doing -- testing the girls for battle and what not. .. yes guys, I lied twisted the truth a bit. So when we find out about this Caleb guy I figure "Hey, this could be a real chance to test the girls in battle". BIG MISTAKE on my part. *mumbles under her breath* some leader I am. So not only did we lose a couple of our girls to Caleb, but the ones that survived are injured, so is Xand. *small frown appears on her face* ... all this after he gave this inspiring speech about not doubting me. *shakes head head lightly* So stupid. Maybe I should have listened to Giles. I shouldn't have taken the girls with me, I shouldn't have even gone without knowing who the hell he was. *stops for a moment* Not like I'll actually admit that to him. I hate saying "You were right, I was wrong. stupid!Buffy strikes again", so I won't say it. I'll just let everyone think it, right? *nods slightly* Right. *hears Faith and the others in another room; sighs quietly running one of her hands through her hair* That walk I took didn't even help me out any. Just made me feel even more... I can't even think of a good word to describe it right now. *mumbles under her breath something about how she loves that Faith is getting along so well with everyone* *she grabs her coat next to her. pushing the update button before closing up the laptop and then heading out the door again for another walk* If the Apocalypse Comes Beep Me.

[25 Mar 2003|11:18pm] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | Me humming some Christina Aguilera to drown out the country ] Ok, so it's been a while since I've updated in this thing. Sue me for being kind of busy. Also, it looks like everyone else hasn't been all slack-y and have actually kept whoever is reading this, up-to-date..sort of, about the goings on in Sunnydale. Robin tried to get his vengence out on Spike tonight, Spike...left him alive. But, if Robin tries that again not only with Spike kill him that time, but I'll let him do it. *rubs the back of her neck for a moment, pulling lightly on the ponytail she had her hair loosely in* Giles started going on about some...thing about how I need to stop trying to sound like a General and act like one. Be able to make hard decisions. More really, to let Robin kill Spike because it was something that needed to be done, that Spike was a liability to us all. *scoffs quietly under her breath* Whatever. *stretches out a bit, her bones popping lightly with her movements* Things have been pretty much quiet lately. Ever since I used Andrew's tears to deactivate the seal. *makes a slight face* It's givin' me a wiggins, but...I think we're ready for whatever the First has to throw at us for now. The girls have been training a lot with me lately. Wills called and said she was brining Faith back with her from LA, so...I'm guessing that could be of the good. I mean if Will isn't all uncomfortable to be around her, that should mean she's kind of...reformed now, right? *shrugs her shoulders lightly, pulling the hair tie from her blonde hair, letting it flow down in soft waves* I think it's about time to go get groceries soon. I'll probably make a run tomorrow or something. Might ask Spike to come with me again. Since our last trip to the store wasn't all bad. It was nice to goof off for a few minutes, pretend everything was all and well with the world and that we all might not die after all. But it did seem to get the Potentials all giddy, think something was going on between us to make me all happy and not come down so hard on them. *brows furrow for a moment, in thought, mumbling*...I wasn't that giddy/happy afterward.... *stifles a small yawn* Hm, maybe I'll take the day off tomorrow. It's not like they really need me at the school anyway. Might do some good to catch up on my sleep, that and I'd like to be here when Wills and Faith get here. *hears something from the other room*..Eh..just great. Someone is making yet another mess in the kitchen. Better go see what it was... If the Apocalypse Comes Beep Me.

[06 Mar 2003|09:52pm] [ mood | numb ] [ music | Nothing I Can Do / Amy Studt ] So, I've been staring at the white box for about...15 minutes now. Not really knowing what to say. And then thinking I was crazy for staring at it for so long. Talk about bored, huh? *she stifled a small yawn and brushed a few loose strands of her blonde hair away from her face* I didn't go to work today. Figured I should have a "day off"...or something like that. And with Robin being the Principal, knowing what it's like over here, thought he'd understand. Which hopefully they didn't really need me or anything. But, I trained the Potentials pretty much the whole day. And heard all their bitching and mumbling about how I went from cool mentor person - to uber bitch - to army drill sargent type. *she grinned for a moment, her eyes twinkling almost* It was fun too.. I also did the research thing. Which, go me for actually reading *glares at Dawn*..I mean something other than those "trashy" romance novels that you can get at the store >.< ...I was really bored. I needed to read something. So I picked up one of the books that Giles had out. It was kind of...*she shifted her eyes for a moment, trying to look like she meant it*...interesting. Ok, actually it made me fall asleep on the couch for a while this afternoon but *smiles sweetly at Giles* Sorry, Giles. Looks like...Faith is back? *she raised her eyebrows for a moment* First question, how? second, why? *she then shook her head, cracking her neck lightly* But...hey? I guess..or something. *she glanced at the clock, noticing how it had gotten kind of late* Maybe I'll go on patrol soon or something. It's too quiet in the house and nothing good is on tv. If the Apocalypse Comes Beep Me.

[03 Mar 2003|10:15pm] [ mood | aggravated ] [ music | 30 Minutes / Tatu ] 30 minutes, a blink of an eye 30 minutes, to alter our lives 30 minutes, to make up my mind 30 minutes, to finally decide 30 minutes, to whisper your name 30 minutes, to shoulder the blame 30 minutes of bliss, 30 lies 30 minutes to finally decide Since when did life get so...decisiony. So...nerve-wracking? *rubs her temples lightly* I swear, I have the worst headache ever right now. And a bruise on my stomach from last night. Which should be gone tomorrow, thanks to my Slayer Healing Abilities and all. The headache might be to how I didn't get...any sleep last night. *pops her neck lightly, rolling her shoulders back* Wills and I talked earlier about how everything got so nerve-wracking pretty much all-of-a-sudden. *small laugh, mumbles something about how Will also seemed like she couldn't wait for Cordy to go back to LA* I'm kind of worried right now, Xander should have been here at least over an hour ago and he's still not here to get Dawn *she frowned, wondering where the hell he could be, hoping that he hadn't ran into Angelus* Huh, I just heard the door, maybe that Xand now. *she rubbed her eyes, looking at the clock before getting up from the couch, grumbling about how he could have shown up sooner* If the Apocalypse Comes Beep Me.

[02 Mar 2003|03:43pm] [ mood | aggravated ] [ music | Get Over It / Ok Go ] *says in a sarcastic tone* Oooh I'm so scared. Big Bad Harmony has come back! *mock gasp* I'm quaking in my stylish yet affordable boots. Oh how ever will I defeat her *scoffs, snorting quietly and rolls her eyes* Puh-lease, I've faced so much worse than her. Think I'd be afraid of that? Psh. She's got another thing coming then. Just leave me alone with her in a room and lots of sharp wooden pointy things and you'd see who comes out in the end... ...And that'd be me. She'd be a nice little pile of dust *smiles sweetly and cracks her neck, mumbling under her breath* Half-wit. So, Dawn and Xand are back together. I don't know the whole story since I wasn't really um...paying attention *offers Dawn an apologetic 'I'm Sorry' smile* but, good for them. And Giles is still searching for more and more SiTs. ..How many more Potentials ARE there? I mean really? How many more people will we have to cram into this house. As if it's not hard enough with everyone living here, now... but christ -- we'll have to build a whole other WING to the house to fit everyone in it! That or get another bathroom and have people sleep on the roof or the lawn outside. But that's not really smart so scratch that idea. Oh, and Cordy -- if you ever talk that way to my sister again, after coming into MY TOWN...you'll seriously regret it. Especially for lying to her like that. Because no one, and I mean no one calls my sister a 'thing'. *nods a bit* I'll stop before I get all ranty again. *yawns* I'm going to go and steal Will away from Kennedy and see if she wants to go on a mocha run. If the Apocalypse Comes Beep Me.

[24 Feb 2003|06:20am] What if we dont make it through this? what if the 'FE' does .. is the end? ...I want you to think all of you to think about this .. If this is the end what you say to all the people you know? what would you do different? and I think you should say those things to everyone let everyone know they mean to you ... so that if this is .. it .. ::looking down she wiped her eyes:: we'll go knowing the truth about everything ... which is why I'm going to start letters ... to all of you ::smiles slightly:: so expect them! soon! Since when did my sister get all....deep and meaningful? *she made a face* Dawn, is this about what we had talked about Saturday? Guh, I'm never falling asleep on the couch again. It's...not comfortable when you fall off of it. :( If the Apocalypse Comes Beep Me.

[21 Feb 2003|10:23pm] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | Lucky / Bif Naked ] *she rubbed her eyes for a moment, trying to keep her head up* ..I'm so...tired. *she tried to stifle a small yawn* I've been having trouble sleeping. It's kind of hard to sleep when you've got a room full of girls sleeping on your floor or gabbing to one another -- keeping you up and all. Dawn even offered to put up with them 1 night a week -- to let me at least get one good night's sleep. *she gave a half smile, her eyes drooping for a moment or two* It was sweet of her. To "inconvienece" herself to help me out. Meant a lot. I don't know if I'll actually take her up on that offer, but I might. If it gets...too bad. Right now she should be dancing to something like 'Take it off' by the Donnas with Xander...or one of the other many boys at the dance. I hope she's having fun..well not TOO much fun, but y'know. I helped her pick out what she was going to wear. We ended up deciding on this cute skirt and tank top, I even let her borrow a pair of my shoes. Yes, I know how to be a good older sister when I feel like it *she smirked a bit, laughing quietly to herself* By the way, Dawn when you see this -- where did that book of mine go? Y'know that one you found on my nightstand? *she heard the girls in the other room having a shouting match and groaned to herself* God, don't they know how to get along? Jesus. Another sleepless night for Buffy. Have to play the babysitter tonight, when I had decided to curl up on the couch and have a peaceful night watching whatever movies we had -- trying to make this slight cold I have go away. *she shrugged slightly, sighing a bit* Oh well, it's all part of a full day's work. If the Apocalypse Comes Beep Me.

[20 Feb 2003|02:56pm] [ music | How Soon Is Now / Tatu ] ...*blinks a couple of times, looking confused at the entries on her friends page* I'm not even going to ask what the hell happened. I know I recently went off on everyone, bitching at them about being useless and all that. But this...fighting-bickering--whatever ... doesn't help us any. Wait, that's way hypocritical of me. Because my little "speech" didn't help us either. *she let out a frustrated sigh* Anyway, I'm going to "publicly" apologize for my little bitch-fest. I'm sorry, for the things that I said. And, maybe the little tabloid was right -- I was all pms-y at the moment. And frustrated. But not sexually like they claimed I was. *she thought to herself : "It's no one's business if I am anyway.."* It wasn't very 'leader'y of me to do that. I know that. ...*she popped her neck and looked around the house a bit, it was quiet* Maybe I should talk to Will, sort things out. That might help a little. To get some input on what's going on.. 1 -- If the Apocalypse Comes Beep Me.

[18 Feb 2003|10:21pm] [ music | Leader / Bif Naked ] What the hell is the matter with me? I get offered this great power and what do I do with it? I...reject it. And then I learn that there are...hundreds of the damned... Turok-Han ubervamp things that...kicked my ass majorly -- but I finally defeated it. Even though it took a little while. I also, sit there and I bitch at the people I need the most. I go into this huge self-righteous 'I'm the only one that doesn't suck' riff. What the hell kind of a "leader" am I? I piss off the people that are supposed to be fighting at my side. The ones that I care about the most out of everyone, some more than others. *she stifled a small yawn and popped her neck lightly* No way I'm getting any sleep tonight. Not with the...image of those...monsters in my head. If I do end up actually getting to sleep, boy will no one get any sleep, for I'll probably keep them up with me screaming. Maybe I'll kick Spike out of the basement for a while, train a little -- maybe it'll tire me out so I can actually get to sleep. Cause I'm just a little girl, you see But there's a hell of a lot more to me, Don't ever underestimate what I can do, Don't ever tell me how I'm meant to be If the Apocalypse Comes Beep Me.

[16 Feb 2003|10:28pm] [ music | I Quit / Hepburn ] I am no longer listening to Simple Plan while all hyped up on pixie stix....ever...ever again. It's not the greatest thing in the world. It makes me do weird and wacky things. Such as try to be like those girls in teen movies and dance around lip-synching to the song. Well for me it was, I started off in my room singing along to 'I'd do Anything' and later on I ended up in the bathroom lip-synching to 'Just A Kid'. And ended up having an auidence of a couple of people. *she shifted her eyes a bit* No need to tell who they were or anything. They don't even know that I know, well now they do *she smiled sweetly, batting her eyelashes a bit* I talked to Kennedy and Dawn today. They...have weird things that run through their minds. Such as if vampire's pee. And then they ask me if I know. How am I supposed to know? Just because I had slept with (There, I changed it Spike -- happy now?) with two vampires doesn't mea--*she stopped, an embarrassed look creeping up on her face, a small blush on her cheeks and she coughed* Anyway, changing the subject -- Xand just came by, first time since Tuesday that I've seen him. He looks better. I mean, than he did on Tuesday. But then again, I wasn't really paying attention to him and Dawn after he came into the kitchen so I could be totally wrong... Edit: Quick, someone save me. *she gave an pleading look and whispered* from Dawn and Xander. they're talking about Valentine's day 2 -- If the Apocalypse Comes Beep Me.

[15 Feb 2003|11:00pm] [ music | It Doesn't Matter / Alison Krauss & Union Station ] So, yesterday was Valentine's Day. It wasn't so bad. I mean...despite the fact I had no plans. But...I dealt. That and I haven't really had "plans" for Valentine's Day in a while anyway so it's nothing new really. I just stayed in and watched movies with the SiT's. *she nodded quickly, biting her lip for a second* Even though I sort of "crashed" Dawn and Andrew's date. Well, the end of it anyway. I was going to go out on the porch and look at the stars or something, just to get away from the SiT's since everyone else was busy -- Dawn on her date, Xander was gone, Anya and Giles were doing whatever, Will and Kennedy were cuddling upstairs, the SiT's were watching the movies and Spike was...gone. So I was on my lonesome. Thus, I decided to go outside. Did I mention how BAD of a mistake was that? I walked in or....out, whatever -- on Dawn and Andrew kissing. Which, for that I'm going to need therapy for. Or whatever. *she sighed a bit, shifting her weight thinking to herself: "Or it could be that I'm a tad jealous that my life is so un-normal that I don't get that. The dates followed by the sweet kisses afterward. I am stuck with the...killing of demons and nasty demon goo"* Today was a little better, even though I think I seriously scared Andrew. He avoided me the entire day. I think he was afraid I was going to tie him up again *she laughed quietly, making a face* I wasn't going to, I was just going to have a talk with him that's all. Honest. But *she shrugged slightly* It doesn't matter anyway. I have nothing else to bitch or complain about so, I'm done. If the Apocalypse Comes Beep Me.

[14 Feb 2003|06:16am] [ music | Konstantine / Something Corporate ] *she smacked her forehead and grumbled to herself* Stupid. So very stupid. I'm refraining from hitting my head repeatedly on the wall or something. Why am I stupid do you ask? *she got a thoughtful look on her face and then shrugged her shoulders a bit* No big reason really, I'm just extremely stupid that's all. Could be because today is Valentine's Day and all and I made a offer to the SiT's. Seeing as, after Giles whole speech about how we shouldn't be concentrating on fun and dating right now being that we have an impending apocalypse and all -- I had no plans. And obviously the girls didn't either since they haven't gotten out in a while. And they're so far away from home and are all lonely. So, to get to the point I mentioned something about a movie night. BIG MISTAKE and I'm just saying that nicely. But they got all excited about it and they were no longer in the crappy 'I-hate-Valentines Day' mood they've all been in pretty much the whole of this week. So *she forced a smile* I will be inside tonight, in the living room, watching everything from the Ringwald overture to the Meg Ryan plaque with the SiT's. And don't laugh either -- or I'll force each and every one of you to go through the same torture with me. So Dawn, feel glad that you're getting out of the house. Or you would be stuck playing babysitter to the Potentials with me. *she spotted the vase with flowers in it* Ooh flowers. *she shrugged again, a happier look on her face now* Maybe today won't be so bad. If the Apocalypse Comes Beep Me.

A little run-down of tonight's events... [11 Feb 2003|10:16pm] [ mood | frustrated ] [ music | I Touch Myself / the Divinyls ] So, as everyone (may) know -- I went on a date tonight. With Principal Wood. At first I thought he was evil or an agent for the first or something like that. Then when we get attacked by a group of vampires, leading me to think the son of a bitch set me up. But surprisingly, he didn't. He actually helped slay them. Which seemed kind of weird at first because I didn't know he knew who I was. Which he did. Before he even came to Sunnydale. Which is why he hired me. *she made a face* And not for my counselling skills... It turns out his mother was also a Slayer. She was killed when he was younger, it must have been hard. It was weird, having someone that knew I was the Slayer, who's mother was also a Slayer. But anyway, Spike came -- something had happened and they needed me. So...and I'll use his first name -- Robin, Spike, and I we went to go stop the impending apocolyptic evil that was brewing in the school basement. Then we -- Spike and I return home, after *not using the principal's name this time* Principal Wood dropped us off. Giles...he went into this..semi-rant about how -- we need to get serious, not worry about dating and how the flash cards he had made for the Vietnamese SiT were true, that they were happening and that people could die, that we could die. So that got everyone into one of those moods. Later, I'm sitting on the couch alone -- Spike comes in and tells me how the First talked to Andrew, and said about using him (Spike) that it wasn't his time yet. Meaning it would use him...sometime later. He told me he should leave again, get out of town before it did decide to use him again. *she looked down for a moment and bit her lip lightly* I told him not to. That I wasn't ready for him to not be around. I-I know that everyone...thinks that, my feelings or emotions are clouding my judgement...but they aren't. And I'd wish everyone would stop thinking that. *she thought to herself: "Or maybe they are, but I'm too much of a chicken or coward or hell even a bitch to admit it.."* So anyway, the house is finally quiet again. Well except for the poor Vietnamese SiT's crying up in the bathroom and the remaining SiT's in the kitchen looking for something to eat. Andrew is messing around with his little Star Wars figurines. *she shook her head a bit, a small disgusted look on her face* And -- I also think Dawn is in the basement either bugging Spike or talking to him or something. Will is...not-so-secretly with Kennedy doing god know's what and Anya and Giles are upstairs trying to get the Viatnemese SiT out of the bathroom. Did anyone happen to catch her name? Because I sure as hell don't know it... -- so this leaves me alone in the living room, typing on this thing and trying to find something non-Valentine's Day-ish to watch on the TV. What a night... and look I filled this little box up. So I'll stop now *she said with a small smirk* If the Apocalypse Comes Beep Me.

[10 Feb 2003|11:34pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | All the things she said / T.A.T.U. ] Don't ask me what I am listening to, because to be honest -- I don't know. I found it in my cd player and it was kind of catchy. I'm so...bored right now. Ugh. Dawn slipped off to her room and Giles should be coming back with the Potentials soon. They had some car trouble the other day, so that's why they are kind of late. Will is...she's in the kitchen but is in her own little world. And Spike's out on a walk or something because Dawn went down into the basement to talk to him and he wasn't there. So I'm all "alone". How very sad. Heh. I changed my user info, just messed with it a little. That's how bored I am. Maybe I should go do a quick sweep? *she thought about that for a moment and then shrugged it off* Nah, I don't want to leave the house right now. Especially with Giles and the SiT's getting back and all. I want to be here to "greet" them. Hm, I'll just go and see if I can pull Will either out of the kitchen or drag Dawn out of her room to watch a movie with me or something. If the Apocalypse Comes Beep Me.

[09 Feb 2003|10:51pm] [ mood | pissed off ] [ music | some...love station that the SiT's have on..>.> ] Ok, I lied. Maybe I want to hurt him. Just a little. Make it hurt for him, like it hurts for Dawn. ....But I won't. Hurt him. He's my best friend. And...I don't even know how to explain it. I find it kind of ironic he does this so close to Valentine's Day. Which...is Friday by the way. *she said in a sarcastic tone, rolling her eyes* Oh goodie. This means, not only do I have to deal with the conflicted love-lorn teens in my house I have to listen to it at work as well. *she grumbled a bit and kicked at the desk* Stupid Valentine's Day. I think I'm going to get a huge tub of ice cream, get Dawn out of her moping corner and get her to make fun of the people in all of the chick flicks that happen to be on TV.. *she nodded a bit* Yeah, that sounds like a plan. If the Apocalypse Comes Beep Me.

[08 Feb 2003|07:30pm] [ mood | bouncy ] [ music | I Wanna be Sedated / The Ramones ] I'm going to be up...all night now. Mochas after 5:00 -- not a good thing. That and add to my insomnia and the fact that I'm a little worried right now...about things, not a good combination really. Tonight they are going to take Spike's chip out. They -- the Iniative guys, said that he should be fine or close to fine by Monday or Tuesday. And I made it..very clear that if they dust him, or anything -- they'll be very sorry. *glances at her music* I'm listening to the Ramones. *a small smirk appears on her face, a light blush creeping up* Hm, wonder who put that on my computer? I think I'm going to go and check for the 12385389475th time today for any sign of Giles and the SiT's and see if Will wants to hang for a while. If the Apocalypse Comes Beep Me.

[07 Feb 2003|10:28pm] [ music | Just a Kid / Simple Plan ] *she rubbed her eyes for a moment, running a hand through her hair* Ok, so...I made a decision. About Spike's chip. *she shifted slightly, bitting on her lip lightly* They're going to remove it. *she popped her neck lightly, eyeing everyone* Yeah, yeah...I know...you all don't think it's a good idea. And I see that. But he's different now. He was under the First's control when he was killing those people...the chip is killing him. And it would have eventually succeeded in doing that had I not have given the government the go-ahead to remove it. He also has his soul. So what is the use of the chip anyway? *she coughed for a moment*..Anyway.. *she sighed quietly, rubbing the back of her neck for a moment before playing with a strand of her hair* Will has been kind of distant these past few days. I think the whole thing with her turning into Warren has her a little wigged out still...*she frowed slightly* I wish I could help her, but I don't think anyone can really... Giles and the SiT's should be getting back tomorrow or Sunday. *she said sarcastically* Oh goodie. And I was getting used to not having the bathroom taken over all day and the quietness of the house. *she shrugged a bit* But I guess I'll get used to it not being quiet and what not. *she stifled a yawn, sniffing quietly, getting a look on her face*...And I think Dawn just burnt popcorn...*says quietly to herself* 'how the hell do you burn popcorn?' 1 -- If the Apocalypse Comes Beep Me.

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