Chloe Creaney's Blurty
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Chloe Creaney's Blurty:

    [ << Previous 20 ]
    Tuesday, May 24th, 2005
    7:21 pm
    i moved...

    i dont know if anyone reads this..... but if u do... go to my new one!
    6:08 pm
    Yeh, i know i deserve it...
    I feel really bad for saying how great Aj is all the time. Sean is a great boyfriend... i really love being with him. and today i found out that he thinks i lie about how i feel for him... which is SUPER depressing.

    the only reason i never write about Sean in here is because there is so much to say, i mean i really love him, and i would enver ever ever stop writting if i started...

    im kinda depressed now, but i know i deserved it. im the worst girlfriend ever =(

    Romy deserves him more then me....................... how depressing is that? Romy is a great person, and she is always saying how she'll die alone. but Sean is a great person. And hes a really great boyfriend, romy and he would porbably get on really great. but that means i'd have to kinda start a new life right? because id not have a best friend..... or a boyfriend. and Sean was my other best friend too.. so i'd be like 3 bestest friends down =(

    how mean is Sean though?? shes my best friend! i mean, i guess he would never actually do anything with her... but the other day he said i was just like Romy... and maybe thats why he said i wa slike Romy, beause he WANTS ME to be like romy. . . Romys always the one who gest better things then me. i've enver been jealous of her before. i mean i now shes skinnyer and prettier. but i've never actually been jealous because we are that good friends i dont need to me......

    Friggin College:
    I thought things with me and Sean were getting better. but obviously not =(
    Friggin College says:
    i thought things were getting better too
    I heard a rapping, of someone gently tapping, tapping at my chamber door says:
    im sure they are Chloe
    Friggin College says:
    yeh, my boyfriend loves my best friend
    I heard a rapping, of someone gently tapping, tapping at my chamber door says:
    no he dunt luv her
    I heard a rapping, of someone gently tapping, tapping at my chamber door says:
    he luvs u
    Friggin College says:
    i need to lose weight
    I heard a rapping, of someone gently tapping, tapping at my chamber door says:
    no not this Chloe dont bother im gonna be cold here but if you have to looz weight to keep him he isnt worth it

    thats a convo with me and John... but Sean is so worth it. im really going to try and lose weight now. so that i can actually be good looking for Sean.

    I know im going to get realy angry soon... so there will proabbly be another entry soon.

    Current Mood: blank
    Friday, May 20th, 2005
    9:35 am
    Long time...
    i havnt written in a long time ebcause my brother changed that paswword on this computer so that i couldnt get on which is relaly annoying... i feel really bad for not being able to talk to John.. and i also feel left out from talking to Sean, Romy, Joe, Thronton, Joel and Danny... arg.
    We left school yesterday isnt that cool?!?! yey... so thats why im here at this time because i got no more shcool. even though my first GCSE is on tuesday. i really like this keyboard i can type uber fast on it...

    ummm... ok so an update. Aj bought my a hello kitty teddy and its sooo cool! i really love it, and he also got me this little froggy teddy too, and a "grow your own spongebob" too,.... =) he got me them from america when he went over to see Aisling, thats his brothers kid who has just been born. Aj also told me that he still had a crush on me too... which is sweet =D
    just i know i probably will never get around to going out with him, mainly because he lives so far away., its so hard having a relationship where u hardly ever see the person! i was with Tom like almost 2 years, and i only ever say him twice =( So yeh, Aj is being relaly nice to me, and he always makes me feel great even though he is a LONG way away.

    Me and Sean are all good now, which is great because im so happy with him now. We went to the cinima yesterday to see star wars, and we didnt really argue once =) plus the film was good too! and he bought me ice cream!!!! yum... =)

    me, romy, sean and joel went to this meal that my form teacher had organised two days ago... it was like a leaving thing... it was ok.... nothing that much happened. I got some photos thought which is great, because i have this photo album which is called "how we changed" and it has photos of me, sean, romy and joel since we started being friends... well since we started being friends with sean and joel. =) and its cool.... because we have canged alot, metally and physicaly so its nice ot look back and see what we were like. i think there is going to be alot of strain on our friendhship soon.. i mean with Joel. because i know that i am going to be friends with romy ebcausse we are going to the same college. and i know i will 100% stay in contact/ see Sean all the time. its just Joel. hes a really great friend so i guess ill have to make the effort to go see hm =P or him come see me! also, there John ebcause hes going to a different college. but i know i will stay in contact with him too!!

    its scary going to a college where u only know one person... but i guess its kinda like starting again, and i can make people think im not manly ......

    arg. what else has heppening since i last rote??? ummm.. Robert turned in to the biggest dickhead ever (well nxt to my dad) but i dont really wanna tlak bout it...

    i guess thats it then!!!!


    Current Mood: tired
    Current Music: nope...
    Wednesday, May 11th, 2005
    8:47 pm
    Caught in the explosion...
    i had an average day. Ummm... i dont know if i rote this before but we haev this teacher at school for science, and she is satan. well, she told us to "piss off", well actually, she pretty much told me to, and i was like BITCH... so i told mrs.lomas that she was the wrost teacher of all time, and then mrs.lomas said she would haev a word with like the deputy head. So today i went to see the deputy and told her how much of shitty teacher mrs.cartwright is... and the deputy was like =O .... and she said that she was going to do somsthing about it, and i really hope shes does. i mean i know its nearly time for me to leave and all, but if something is done about it then at least none of the other years will fail there science GCSE....

    anyways... Johns tomorro. woo.... i found out this old CD (which i told u about yesterday) and i made a cool cover for it and im gonig to give him that tomorro coz i feel bad for giving him depressive music... juice.

    Current Mood: Loser
    Current Music: The same CD as yesterday...
    Tuesday, May 10th, 2005
    6:21 pm
    scare you?

    anyways, i'm suddenly feeling really guilt beause i think that its my fault that John is upset all the time =( i feel lik, i dunno, i'm making him feel bad. Ummm... i'll explain. i know he likes me likes me. .. and i think that when i talk to him about my problems with Sean it gives him some hope... but then when me and Sean make up it makes him feel bad. (i know that must sound really bigheaded, thinking that because a guy cant have me he gets upset) but i dunno, John is GREAT... and i dont EVER want him to feel bad, and i know hes going to read this... and i dont know what he will say. Hes not online, and i wanted to talk to him and play pool.
    Robert really annoyed me at school today... and i had a GCSE music exam, but it was only 30mins long, and i enjoyed it.
    i'm annoyed that its really nice and sunny outside, and yesterday it rained whne i went out, i really wanted to go to the park, but not in the wet. ARG! and today i could hae gone out and had fun in the sun. i hope it doesnt rain the nxt time i go to Johns... i told John that i would watch some racing with him (John likes racing) who ever thought that i would aggree to watch a sport? huh? huh? well, i'm sure it will be fun =D i mean, i can just annoy John if i'm not enjoying it. but i'm sure i will..

    i feel sick...

    i just found this compelation CD that i made ages ago.. yey!! these headphones suck tho. the CD has the Ataris on, Bradn new, Coheed and CAmbria, Finch, Funeral for a friend, Hell is for heroes, Hiding with Girls, Hot hot Heat, Him, Korn (i dont get why tahts there?!?), Lostprophets, the movielife, Taking abck sunday, Thursday, Uncle Brian, Waterdown and the white stipes. yey.... strage mix =S I think that i will make a ncie cover for it then give it to John, because he liked the other CDs that i gave him . . .

    Current Mood: lonely
    Current Music: i told you up there!
    Monday, May 9th, 2005
    9:31 pm
    I feel sick. . .
    i went to johns today, with robert too this time. we didnt really do much but it was still fun. . . or at least it would have been is Sean hading been texting me things that translate into "i hate you chloe". . so i was quiet and didnt really do much. . .
    Robert annoyed me, i dont think that he has any idea that other people have feelings, because he doesnt seem to treat people any different if they feel bad or good. i mean, John yesterdaty was quite upset... and i was like =( and he said that he didnt really want to see Robert bceause he will say something mean. . and hes right, Robert doesnt understand.
    I really enjoy being with John, hes always really nice to me. . . and even if Sean is texting me i still smile when John talks to me. i dont know why hes this specail to me. he just is =) he rote loads in my leaving book, and it made me really happy =)
    I forgot what i was going to write, ummm. . . oh yeh, i was just on the internet talknig to aj, and joel and Sean came on and told me to come offline, how out of order is that?!?! And, he read my e-mails!!! ='( its so mean. . . i know he doesnt trust me, but now he's talking to too far. He made me feel bad for going out, and i had a bad time. . so i dont think that i am gonig to go out for a while, but maybe thats making him win? or maybe... i dunno. i dont think that i am going to go out for a while, im depressed.

    on the bus home i decided that i wasnt going to eat, but i ended up having a pizza, and now i feel so sick. . .

    i also, for the first time in AGES, considered cutting myself, and i actually have marks on my arms, i dont think anyone realised tho. . . but well, i guess i did cut myself... but not as much as i used to =( i feel bad now...

    Current Mood: depressed
    Sunday, May 8th, 2005
    7:19 pm
    Rain rain rain rain...
    i just got home from Seans, i stayed at his last night. i rang him up after i went to Johns, because he got upset that i was going out (which annoyed me so i shouted at him) ... anyways,i went to stay at Seans and i really enjoyed it beause it was like it used to be. but umm. . . anyways, everything was great untill a few hours ago when i tod him how much i hated him not trusting me. but i cried alot, and he made it better, and now i think he sees that it hurts so much when he doesnt trust me... so now i think that me and Sean are going to get better from now on.

    Umm. . . i dont relaly have anything else to write, or maybe i just cant be bothered. =P well, going to see John again tomorro, and so is Robert. gonna go to the park,. even though it will rain, but i'll wear my BIG hat, so i wont mind yey =)

    i think that John is over nice to me, i dont mean OVER NICE, i mean as in, i think he thinks that i'm his friend just to be nuice, not ebcause i actually want to be his friend...
    arg... John is a great friend, and hes just a nice person all around, and hes fun to be around. . . and he makes me feel special. and well, hes just a good friend. and shouldnt treat me differend to any of his other friends!

    anyways, back to Sean. i really hope that things get ebtter from now on. and i'm sure they are going to =)

    Current Mood: nerdy
    Friday, May 6th, 2005
    9:59 pm
    been to the cinima, my heaache went too yey! and the film was great, and we ate loads and i felt sick... but then on the way home i was telling Sean how Robert had signed my leaving book, and Robert put that i used to be really mean to him, but he thinks that i'm a really nice person now. . . but Sean said "no your not" and i was like, "i am, i really try to be nice" and he said that i was always mean to people... so maybe i dont try as hard as i should. i mean look at me now, i'm writting how Sean was mean to me, wehn he was just teling the truth.

    ""She is a really amazing person who i dont want to see or know that shes down ever. Shes one of those really good people who only deserves the best in life i wish the best for her in the future.""--- John rote that in his blog =) and it made me really happy. and he also said that i have been a really big help with his depression and stuffz. and that made be feel good too, even though i dont feel like i've helped him, i feel like i've made a new REALLY great friend. i guess its a bonus that i helped him... i'm really glad i have, and i'm not going to stop!

    I know i've said this loads, but i really feel like i have made a REALLy great friend in John... i feel totally comfortable with him, 100%, even though he kept comenting on my poking myself and checking my hair, but thats just habbit. and he siad "no ones judging you" and i know he isnt, just i guess, its nice to think that i look at least half decent. and i can talk to him about anything, and i really think that i can tell him something is wrong, if it is wrong, and hes not just somone that i can moan to. Hes someone that gives me compliemnts, and who i can have a laugh with, and who i can hug and who i can have fun with. hes all around a great person
    (and John i'm always here for u) =)

    i'm looking forward to going to see him tomorro... =) i hope he feels the same.. and my blogs seem to be about now are John, but i guess he is a big part of my life.

    i have a diary in my bedroom, and in the back i always put the initials of my TRUE friends and it has always been (for the past few years) the same, RAP (romy) JCM (Joel) SMK (Sean).. and they are my SUPER close friends, i mean i have known Romy like 10 years or something! . but now its also JPD (John)

    Current Mood: cheerful
    Current Music: Stupid pirate music (TV)
    4:06 pm
    mmm... uh huh.
    im only writting ecbause i have a head chae and i know its probably watching tv and going ont he cmputer that makes it worse but nah.
    Yeh, me and Sean are going out tonight, to the cinima, he' only taking me because he thinks that it will make our relationship better, he doesnt understand that its Us the affects our relationship not where we go, i dont get how he still loves me if hes so upset with how we turned out. i mean, in music today, he got really upset because i didnt want to hug up and kiss and stuff, but thast beause we are at SCHOOL. and i guess, its just now how u are supposed to act in school, teachers look at us weird and i feel stupid. and then eh said that i was like that outside school and stuff. ARG!

    anyways, i have to go get rady!
    Thursday, May 5th, 2005
    10:21 pm
    i had a nice day today. even thought me an Sean have aggreed to "slow" down, and he seemes upset. i had a nice day.
    I went to Johns, its a nice change to go to his, because i can relax... i mean, with Sean i'm always watching what i'm doing and saying because i dont want to say anything that will upset him. but anways, it was fun at Johns, he got popcorn and it was nice! we watched resident evil 2, ecbause last time i went to his we watched the first one. yeh, we watched it and i wanted to eat popcorn but i didnt want to say anything, but we ended up eating it after. =P we talked about random stuff, and messed about... it was nice to have a change of scenery, with out Robert too ¬ ¬ Me and John didnt even do much, i mean all we did was talk, and it was alot of fun =D even though he seemes really nervouse around me,. i dont know why.

    Anways, when i got home i phones Sean, bcuse he phones whilst i wasnt in. he said that he thought something bad had happened to me! awww... its sweet that he was thinking about me, even though he had got it toatally wrong. its because he couldn't get through on my hpone, it sucks u see and doesnt get reseption. so he thought something had happened *hugs Sean*

    anyways, ummm. . . i'm pretty sure that soon Sean is going to start getting jealous of john... because i dont know, i think John is a great friend, and soon Sean will think something is going on. arg. . . i wish he trusted me.

    Peter Kay is on telly ¬ ¬

    I took my leaving book for him to sign, but i felt stupid.. like i said, i though he was really nervouse. (he just told me that he was) lol.... so i thought it was something that i was doing. I still need robert to sign my book, i wanted people to write lots of nice things, or at least write a few pages. . . but only romy did.... =( so now i have a really nice luking book, with no one signing in it! arg.. .i realised that i dont relaly have that many friends in school. but i'm not complaining my friends are GREAT.

    "yer lol i no we didnt do mch but still it was like being able to talk to u and sit up close to u and nt feel out of place its a new fing to me" --- Quote from John. Its great that i have made a new friend, it makes me feel good. Especially when the other person is nice to me., and we get on so great. =D

    anyways, i dont really have anything to say...

    Chloe x x x

    Current Mood: ecstatic
    Wednesday, May 4th, 2005
    7:27 pm
    orange juiceeeeee...
    heres an e-mail Sean sent me :

    umm... yeah im sure you would...
    um... yeh... if YOU wanna break up with me... its ok... i just want u to be happy... theres no point having a relationship if it doesnt go both ways...

    i mean, come on... i know you dont feel much about me anymore

    on the other hand... i will always love you... like i said, i just want you to be happy...

    Sean xXx

    p.s - You is in capitals because i never wanna break up with you... but then again, i dont like it when you dont like me. . .

    arg, he thinks i'm going to break up with him, i'll be honest it has run through my mind. my GCSEs are here, and i really dont want to be arguing round about now, i mean i'm under enough stress i dont want more. stupid ilfe!


    Current Mood: anxious
    8:01 am
    Friends only...
    Sean started snooping againm so i had to put this on friends only. Really why am i with him if he doesn't trust me at all? That means only one person is going to see this.. woo...

    i'm tiered, i just got up an i havnt even started drinking my coffee yet. arg. think i'm going to go to Johns tomorro, its nice to go see him, and it means i dont ahve to see Sean. Dont get me wrong, i love going to see him, just seeing him for 6 hours at school,. then him walking home with me then going to his for another 3 hours, gets a little repetative. dont you think? well, its just someimtes i liek a change,e ven what i want to stop in to revise he gets all "you dont love me" and its kinda annoying. but now i'm going to start staying in more, i have GCSEs in like 20 days! so i NEED to start revising, i mean i can revise with him but he doesnt need to because hes super smart. arg...
    but yeh, me and Jophn said that we were going to revise together, so that should be fun, dont know how we will learn anything if neither of us talk though =S I just hate how i can't really do anyhting, like if i wanted to go out he would get all mad, and i'd get upset and just stay in anyway. Once i went to Romys brothers birthday party, and he got really upset tha ti went, and phones me all the time...... and arg... why doesnt me turust me??? i mean i know i have feeling for AJ, but i'm never going to cheat on him.

    Oh yeh, and i was thinking last night, i usted to have a rule that was "never date a friend" and i totally blew that off when i met Sean.... but i thinki should stick to it now. i mean im 16, if i got with Aj, we are bound to rbeak up, i mean we are STILL really young. so i guess, i can wait =P yeh i said WAIT i'm not giving him up; that easily.

    anyways, i really shoul get ready for shcool or school
    so bye *waves*

    Current Mood: bitchy
    Current Music: Stupid TV
    Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005
    9:28 pm
    i'm listening to the black Dahlia Murder. woo... Alan put it on for me, thas my brother. Adrian came on for like 20mins... and i was really looking forward to talking to him tonight. he didnt come on last night, and maybe i'm just being paranoid, but i think he's doing it on purpose... well, i dont know do i. *shrugs* maybe i just like him too much, and he knows it, and he doesnt feel the same. or maybe i'm just being stupid and its because his mom and dad only let him on for a short time because of the phone bill.
    Well he rote my letter, so maybe it will say in there, or something... i thinki'm ooking into this too much, but i cant help it!

    Me and Sean are ok now, i hate how we argue then he ignores it because he doesn't want us to break up, then the next time we argue it ends up being worse then the last because nothing has changed... arg.....

    i feel so bad for having these feeling for Adrian. . . but he's my bestest friend. so i dont mind just being friends. he's a really cool person. arg. stupid undisided mind! *hits face*

    Oh yeh, and i lost 4lb!!! wooooo.... *drinks black coffee!* it speeds up your metabolism, so i lose weight faster! woo woo.


    Current Mood: angry
    Current Music: black Dahlia Murder
    7:59 am
    I just woke up, and my brother didnt come in last night so that means i can get on the computer. i woke up feeling amazingly hugry, but i thought i could go a litle while before eating... i mean i'm always complainning that i'm fat, so it can't do my much harm...

    Thats all, i should really go get ready... i hate school so much it sucks bad! i was going to put Dashboards album onto my mp3 player, but i cant be bothered. . . .
    bye x
    Monday, May 2nd, 2005
    6:10 pm
    Me and Sean are arguing, yup right now.
    Over the internet... and its annoying. its beause he doesnt trust me AT all.... and it makes me feel like Shit, i mean i have never done anything to make him think that i would EVER EVER EVER cheat on him. . . and today, i said i was staying in ecbause i have LOADS of school work to do, and i was doing it and he was implying that i wasn't really doing it, and that i lie to him all the time
    And then he started saying that it's like i totally fake how much i like him! =( and its not like i even ahve tiem to cheat on him =( because i'm always with him. i even lost my best friend because i went out with him... and it sucsk! i feel like i
    'm doing soemthing wrong everytime i go out, or stay home. i have HUGe exams soon, and i need time to revise. . .but i feel bad everytime i stay home, and he'll ring me at night and say what a shitty day hes had. then make me feel worse then what i already do.

    what should i do!??!
    i hate my life so muhc... i hate how somtimes everything is great, then the next i just want tokill myself.

    Current Mood: SHITTY
    Current Music: who cares?
    1:20 pm
    I found my old Blurty...
    Falling with out you as my wings.....

    no longer can i smile and fake it
    or pretend to be wrong when im right
    i fall with out my wings
    into another sleepless night

    you wernt there for me again today
    and i know that its my fault
    i think my mind is starting to pay
    in yet another sleepless night

    why couldnt your forget
    and not read the words
    that i rote when i was so sad

    roses turn black, breaths turn to tears
    i cant stop the bleeding
    and slowly i realise my fears
    in yet another sleepless night

    why cant you just forget
    and not understand the words that i rote,
    i was so wrong
    i was so wrong
    i fall with out my wings
    into another sleepless night

    These are some lyrics that i found on my old Blurty............ woo.

    [x] Name: CHloe
    [x] Age: 16
    [x] Birthday: 12 feb
    [x] Location: yorkshire england
    [x] E-mail: no sorry
    [x] Contact: =P no
    [x] Main Interests: i love reading and writing poetry and lyrics ect, i play guitar and love emo music... ummmm... i read and collect comics too and i love to draw. i also love stars and shiney things, i resently started sewing stuff and i like that too... i make kinda braclet band thngies and cards =) i love afro ken and hello kitty and all such things... i love roman dirge comics, and JCV- most SLG comics, but i also collect marvel and DC ones. i like shoes and my astro boy bag. i like clothes, and having fun. i love doggies.... and snakes and lizards and lots of other animals too yey! i like drawing alot too, and i stdy music and art at schol which i kinda enjoy.... i like piercings and tattoos. and my boyfriend... old games- pong and pang. lots of other things that youll just have to find out... my favourite contry is ireland, so i guess thats an interest. i love my guitar, its a daisy rock. i love helping people and talking on the internet to my friends.
    [x] Described as: i dunno.... some people say that i'm a great person to tell their problems too... which is good i guess. i think i'm funny, weird and down to earth.
    [x] Significant Other?: yup...
    [x] Work?: Nope
    [x] School?: high school... leaving in two week!
    [x] Tattoos/Piercings: i got my ears done twice, and top of my right ear. left hand side of my lip. and three stars tattooed on my left wrist.
    [x] Who are your favorite bands/singers?: the smiths, taking back sunday, brand new, system of a down, funeral for a friend, avenge sevenfold, dead poetic, the mars volta, thursday, finch glassjaw, from autumn to ashes, coheed and cambria, Dashboard confessional...
    [x] Favorite movies: the ring... donnie darko
    [x] Favorite TV shows: friends?
    [x] Favorite Writers: iain banks
    [x] Current favorite book: the wasp factory by above
    [x]Actors/Actresses: jake gylenhall and/or Thora birch


    Current Mood: nerdy
    Current Music: Senses Fail- let it Enfold you
    10:12 am
    its really early and i shouldnt really be up but Sean phoned so i had to get up, we are going to a computer fair, did i tell you?well i WAS going to get a laptop, but again my mom says i can't even though she said that she would ages ago. ARg...

    i had a dream lst night, that i phone Adrian from the phone box on the end of my street... woo... and it was good =) i was like "i thought i would phone you because i havn't heard you talk in YEARS" (it is years, literely).... so i mighnt do tha tone time, but not from the phone box ebcause it would cost loads...

    i was thinking, in all the photos that Adrian sent me, the secenry always looks really nice so i thought i would show you a couple =P
    well.. really they are mostly just of Aj =D

    [IMG][/IMG] eeee...

    [IMG][/IMG] Adrian says that Mark looks like he is going to tear of his clothes =P

    [IMG][/IMG] i made this for Adrians band...

    Yeh, like i said last night, im now at one with my feelings for Adrian, i dont think i'm going to act on them untill i'm 100% sure that he feels the same, and that i'm single too. I'm really happy to have him as such a great friends, thats ok isnt it?
    i havnt had this many friends in a long time, and it seems like i've just started to get to know all the people in my class, adn i leave in like two week1 TWO WEEK.. arrrrrrrrrrrrrh!! yeh i've just got to know John really, and he is going to a different college to me, but i know that we are going to keep in contact beause we both have the internet , and we normally talk on that anyways. and even Sean is going to a different colllege =( but i know we'll stay in touch. i would like to have gotten to know Alan and Catherine alot more too. we'll i guess their will be more people to get to know at college...

    but no people can compair to my friends right now =)

    My dad was being such a dick last night, i hate him so much....

    anywasys, i have to go get ready. grrr.. i want a laptop!!!

    Chloe x

    Current Mood: tired
    Current Music: shitty radio music...
    Sunday, May 1st, 2005
    11:23 pm
    i decided to make a gallery online, since i found out that you cant get photos on here...
    so feel free to have a look... at the moment they are mostly Adrian... but i will add more as i get into it =)


    i dont know if this will work (checked and it does)

    hes cute as hell... isn't he? if i never actually get with hin, i have decided that i wont mind- because he is one of the best friends that i could ever hope for!! and i would never ask for anything more... so if i never tell him how i feel i will still be extra happy just to know him. He is the most amazing person i have ever met, and i'm so happy that i did. =D see big smile.

    i bet he's the kind of guy that smells nice all the time too....

    Yeh, i just finished talking to Adrian. we were asking each other questions, you know like the 20 question game? well it was fun... : "have you ever kissed a guy?" i asked him, and he said "yup" it kinda shocked even though i know he likes guys. he doesnt class himself as bi, but hes just curius he says. it was fun finding out things about him =)

    i asked him "which would u preffer- girlfriend or good friend?" (i meant on top of what he has now) and he said (goes to get quote) :
    "hmm....i got really good friends at the moment, so a girlfriend would be nice"

    that made me happy! *smiles*

    but like i said, i now know that my worlld isnt doing to end if i enver get with him, although i would love to be able to actually kiss him, call him my boyfriend etc... i know that we are bestest friends so i can get as many hugs as i want, as well as a friend to cry to.
    Thats good right? i'll probably change my mind tomorro...

    oh god, he weights like 8 and a half stone too! how skinny is that!?!?! although, Romy says i always seem to go for skinny guys. i think its because i like the hip bone on guys *shrugs* yeah that is random. but i always feel silly when i have a skinny b.f because im fat. he has Size 8 feets... lol. random huh? i asked him laods of stuff about him like that. He cant ride a bike. =) something i can teach him.

    Better go anyways.... *waves*
    Hi John

    Chloe xxx

    Current Mood: happy
    Current Music: nothing...
    7:51 pm
    Me again..... (obviously)
    i rote loads earlier, but it didnt seem to save, which is ANNOYING!
    all i remember was lsitening all the good things about Adrian:

    so here i go again
    * He has the cutest accent
    * Hes got cute floppy hair
    * Blue eyes *drools*
    * He makes me feeeeel really special
    * When i'm upset, he makes me feel heppy again
    * Hes REALLY funny
    * He once rang me everyday for 6 week, and we used to talk for HOURs... and he got in so much trouble when the phone bill came
    * Hes just older, and just taller then me= which is good!
    * He gives me butterflys
    * Hes really caring, he'll always ask how i am, and if its not good, he gets to work on making me better.
    * Hes a cooooooool drummer
    * He'd probably do anything for his friends
    * We can talk about anything...
    * Hes one of the people who i can tell that i'm depressed
    * I tell him i get depresseed, but when i'm talking to him i never am
    * I can really imagen being with him
    * He always shows how much he likes his girlfriends. (and i want to be one!)

    i'm so sad for liking him so much.... why isnt he online!!! lol

    today i sent to my b.fs (did i tell you about him) hes really great, nothing wrong with him AT ALL so thas one of the reasons i feel SOOOOOOOO guilty. Yeh, i went to his, and now i'm home. and i hate it. my ouse is tooooo loud, stupid dad, stupid dog (well i like my dog). . . .
    Today our birdies sang for the first time... yey, we have only had them like a week. ones called Chi and the other Freya. they are characters from a manga that i read called Chobits, its really cool, go read it.

    Hopefully im getting a laptop tomorro, so i will be able to write here from there, so i will have much more enterys, lucky you....

    John just told a girl that he likes that he likes her,,, and she likes him too!!! YEY! thats great, its so nice when people get together. =) John is a friend i ony resently made, see he went to my school, and i never really spoke to him because i thought he hated me. . . but anyways, he stopped coming to school and i asked one of his friends why and he said because he was depressed, so i thought i would get his e-mail, becaus ei hate it when people i know are down. and i thought maybe i could help ebause i have bene there and stuff. well anyways, now we are really good friends =) or i like to think we are, lol ... he says that i really helped him, whcih is great =) and i think he is a great person......

    anywys, Ajs here
    so bye

    Current Mood: annoyed
    Current Music: Dashboard- The places you have come to fear the most...
    11:17 am
    I'm only writting because i'm bored.

    Umm.. yesterday i rote all the stuff i do to myself, we'll i dunno.. i am depressed and all but... im not suicidal. i dont know how to explain it, i guess if u are a self harmere then you will understand. but the thing is, i was thinking last night .. and i think if i actually got with Adrian, then i wouldn't be depressed anymore.
    Hes one of the very FEW people that know about my depression and stuff, and when i am tlaking to the people that know, i feel happy because they are like my real friends. i guess its the 'a problem shared is a problem solved' or something. Well anyways, yeh so thast another pro going Adrians way. but what the hell am i going to do if i find out he does like me! ARG.... stupid life, stupid feelings!!

    its still only morning, and i'm bored. My brother didnt come in last night so that means i could stay on the internet all day... thats sad isn't it? i'm so glad that we have tomorrow off, thank GOd for may day... that means i have nother day away from school, which is one of the main reason that i hate myself. Mainly because teachers are constently tellling me that i suck at everything.... and its brainwashed me totally! ok, i already knew i sucked at everything, but i cant lie to myself anymore now the teachers tell me. When i come home i have no energy to do anything, buti have to because i have major exams soooon, so i have ro revise and keep up my social life. ARG.... but after a hard day Adrian is usually online, and it makes it all better....

    Yeh, i tought i would tell you about Adrian:
    * Hes a year older then me
    * He has the cutest accent
    * He's alternative
    * We've known each other 4 yeras
    * he once phoned my everyday for at least 5 hours on my mobile, and got his ass kicked because of the phone bill
    * Hes really hot
    * He's in a band play drums
    * He has one brother, who just had a kiddie!
    * Hes really sweet to me
    * One of the few people who makes me feel really good about myself
    * He has cute floppy hair
    * When i think of him i get butterflys
    * He makes me blush alot, which makes me feel good
    * blue eyes =D
    * 60)Pretty= Chloe! he put that in a quizzie
    * hes just the best

    i fell really weird for liking him so much, it's like being a little kid again.... and i also feel like i'm making him feel ackward even though he doesn't know i liek him.

    anyways, i have to go... -*waves*-

    Current Mood: cheerful
    Current Music: Yet again, the Mars Volta.
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