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[02 Sep 2003|07:12pm] |
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mood |
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 amused |
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I signed my girlfriends boobie and it was hot like whoa! Annnnnd..our baby it due tonight at midnight. HAHA the cow should be beautiful..TEAR! Ew real update soon. PROMISE.
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[28 Aug 2003|05:50pm] |
David's birthday is tomorrow! Heeeee! So..since I may not be on tomorrow. I gotted you another guitar. A prettier one then the current one. And since I dunno how to do cut tag thing or pictures..well I do I'm just too lazy to get the code. MKAY! LINKAGE!
http://members.chello.nl/~t.heertjes/elguitar/valwhite.jpg
It's from both me and Chuck. He picked out something else for you. Go check that out too.
[hurr yes, I started back in high school and I've got no sleep. So I'm an ass lately. And I may not be around as much. Ew and I don't make much sense. Not that I ever did.]
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[22 Aug 2003|12:51pm] |
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mood |
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 energetic |
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music |
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TRL..lillix? |
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I read Amy's update and for awhile I was a little speechless. I couldn't think of what to say and I just sat there for a bit thinking about it. So an update about it seems like a better idea.
I really never thought I could mean much to anyone in any single way. But that update alone proved me wrong. I now see not only what I mean to friends but also people that mean the most to me. Just Amy's words alone showed me who I am. Sure, I'm immature and stupid at times but yeah like she said, I know when and how to be serious. I also know how to make people smile and before I'd do anything just to see a certian someone smile.
Amy already meant a lot to me when we were only friends...but now we're more then that and now she means even more to me. I loved her when she was my friend and I still do, just in a different sort of way. I really never would have pictured myself with one of my best friends, but I like us together. I really do.
She already knows everything about me, and I mean everything. I always talked to her about my past and I told her how I felt. I would talk to her when I had troubles and I still will. I just hope she can come to me when she feels troubled even if I'm the one causing it. Well..especially if I'm the one causing it.
Hopefully I make sense...normally I don't. Oh well. I understand and hopefully Amy will...that's all that matters.
ldfhgkjxfdhnbfndhdgjgcb
*GOES ON STALKING MODE AGAIN*
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[21 Aug 2003|05:38pm] |
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mood |
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 devious |
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I haven't had an actual update in quite some time. I'm back to normal..whatever you considered normal for me. I found ...someone. I don't know why I didn't see it sooner. I have known this girl for a while now but I never thought of her in that way. Stupid me. How could I ever have been so blind? The light changes when she's in the room..the room like lights up when she walks in. Seriously, when I see her I just stand there stupidly..at least I feel stupid. And the best thing of all, she just gets me. I've said it before..but I really, really mean it this time. I won't hurt you. I swear on my life that I will not hurt you.
...yeah. Going back to stalking mode.
Later.
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[20 Aug 2003|06:56pm] |
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mood |
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hyper |
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Heeee I'm hyper. I asked everyone why I was so hot..here's the responses...
x ErikO2 x: ummmm I have no idea. maybe it's the hair? or your look? or your voice? i honestly dont know.
Brody Goes RAWR: Haha cause you are?
sweet erin207: you have nice camo pants and you have a nice body *nods*
Jessica xx Alba: well i don't know how to explain it i mean when you look at who everyone considered hot like justin and nick and everyone, you don't fit that category but there's something about you that makes all the girls cream in the pants
MaggieGyIIenhaal: you just are. you have IT baby ;]
stinco the stud: i dunno you got the good genes from your parents
IT'S NOT MY PARENTS! And...more people need to tell me. Chuck and I REALLY wanna know. So comment away.
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[20 Aug 2003|09:47am] |
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mood |
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I need to start sleeping. This is sad. Ameh is really really sexy. And I'm gonna stalk her while she's on tour....eeee bye.
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[17 Aug 2003|10:16pm] |
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mood |
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 crushed |
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I was standing next to the one person..and I wanted to tell them in the worst way how I felt. But it's impossible. I feel like..if I go back to one of the two, I'll not only hurt the one I didn't chose but also the one I did. I married Chuck that's like major commitment..and that couldn't hold me back. I don't know..I just need to shut the fuck up. I make no sense. Whatever..
I'm going away..I don't know where, but I am. I need to be alone. Maybe I'll pop up and surprise Amy on her tour..and whoever else...byee.
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[17 Aug 2003|01:12pm] |
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mood |
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 bitchy |
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Now it's just too late, and we can't go back.
I'm sorry I can't be perfect.
Everything is my fault. Don't take my credit. Don't deny it and try and make me feel better either.
If I hadn't lied to Christina, would she have overdosed?
If I hadn't played with Chuck's mind, would he be drinking?
No. So don't try telling me it's not my fault. IT IS.
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[16 Aug 2003|11:31am] |
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mood |
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blah |
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music |
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"Sonny"//New Found Glory |
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Ew..kay now my parents are being asses. So yeah, I need out..and I thank Janie for saving me. I heart you. I get to go with her and Chris and whoever else down to...where ever. I kinda forget now. Oops? Ha okay. My parents were bitching at me..because I’m “playing games” with Christina and Chuck. What the fuck..no one realizes I’m like fucking wanting to kill myself over this. Okay..so people need to butt their asses out of my life.
If I chose to be stubborn, selfish, and self-centered for awhile. Just butt the fuck out.
....Christina is psychic and she reads minds or some shit. Maybe she can tell you all about me. And how I really am. It was really...really freaky she like knew me. A side no one knows about and whoa. I was scared. Shit..I can’t explain how I feel, but she can. So..uh ask her?
I’m sorry, I heard about the bad news today
a crowd of people around you
telling you it’s okay,
and everything happens for a reason
when you lose a part of yourself to somebody you know
it takes a lot to let go
every breath that you remember
pictures fade away but memories forever
an empty chair at all the tables
and I’ll be seeing you in all my days boiled down
but it’s better where you’re going anyway
I’m sorry I heard about the bad news today
it’s really hard to get through
tough times and long days
but it really just depends on the season
when you lose a part of yourself to somebody you know
it takes a lot to let go
every breath that you remember
pictures fade away but memories forever
an empty chair at all the tables
and I’ll be seeing you in all my days boiled down
for now we’ll say goodbye
we know it’s not the last time
I lost the best part of my day
but it’s better where you’re going anyway
an empty chair at all the tables
and I’ll be seeing you in all my days boiled down
for now we’ll say goodbye
we know it’s not the last time
I lost the best part of my day
this is the last thing I will remember
but it’s better where you’re going anyway
okay..it sucks when people know you better then you know yourself..it just really does. Janie and Christina, I’m jealous. What happens next?
Uh now that I’m thinking of Janie. I have a lot to thank you. You informed me of things..you just...I don’t know you helped me out today. I guess I never realized how much you really mean to me..you were always there for me. Thanks..I heart you.
Oh. Since I hate love and it needs to die..and I don’t know what it is and all...I heart people. Not love. Love is evil. It brings me nothing but pain..and yeah I just brought everyone else pain when they loved me and shit...bah.
Kay, Chuck is my best friend. He always was. I’d never hurt him unless I had to..hell normally I’d never hurt him. But I was killing myself inside. I don’t need commitment...I don’t know what I need..I don’t know me. Hell I just need time to myself to figure out who I am..then what love is..and then what I want.
Christina, also a good friend. Yeah I thought I loved her..I thought I loved Chuck. But yeah..I know nothing. Oh hell Christina still makes more sense. I like her way of putting it. Damnit. I suck with words too.
See yeah, that makes no sense to me. End. ew I took after Patrick
Pierre Fuckin’ Bouvier.
[I try to make sense lmao]
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[15 Aug 2003|05:33pm] |
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mood |
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pissed off |
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Fuck you. Fuck you all. GET THE HELL OVER ME! I'm sick of this shit! Being fucking yanked back and fourth all the fucking time! I'm done. No more. I'm stay single. I'm not going out with Christina again and I'm fucking getting divorced. PAPERS ARE SIGNED AND SENT! EW HELL.
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[12 Aug 2003|04:21pm] |
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mood |
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 curious |
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music |
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"Jaded"// MEST feat. Benji Madden |
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I'm...confused. I don't want to go into detail, cause I don't know that Christina would like that. But anyways..Christina, you tell me what you want and it's yours. I can't lose you..
[new icon, I still love Kim!]
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[10 Aug 2003|07:02pm] |
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mood |
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blah |
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Eh warped is finally over. Normally I would be all emo and pissed about it..but two days ago we got bottles and shit thrown at us while onstage. At first it was like..yeah whatever but then they went insane after I caught one and yelled "Nice try you fucking pussies" they didn't like that. Fucking animals. Whatever different subject...
I'm catching up with Christina tonight. I'll be tagging along with her and Justin for the remainder of their tour...er I think a week and a half cause I gotta go back to Canada. I get to go piss off Chuck's parents EVEN MORE! Woohoo, should be fun! Eh, I gotta go get ready.
Later days,
Pie
[the thing about warped was fucking true. People in the crowd threw shit at simple plan in Philly. And yes, they are pussies. Benji was visiting and he got hit with shit too..it's fucking sad.]
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[07 Aug 2003|01:48pm] |
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mood |
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blah |
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punkd mandy: someone should write me an update :-( no one ever updates about me except for joel and he doesn't count
My mommy is the awesomest person ever. She felt unloved cause only Joel updates about her...so fuck you all. Mom rocks hardcore. She doesn't let me be negative though. It's lyke..I CAN'T SING! And she kicked me. OUR BAND SUCKS! *is mad at Pierre* and and and then she sang "Addicted" for me and she kicked all ass! Dude we have to do a duet! HAH! Mandy is the bestest cause we share awesome memories..like when we went cow tipping, she was in jail with me! And Benj got us out haha that was fun. I haven't been in jail for a long ass time..I think we need to cause more chaos mom! MESHK! She's not only a fuckin awesome person to be in jail with, but she gives great advice and keeps me...semi-sane. Yes, and I lick my mom once, she CAN'T GET HORNY! And If I lick her again she can. Thats just how it is. DON'T HATE APPRECIATE! I love you mommy!
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[07 Aug 2003|10:32am] |
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mood |
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 dorky |
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Lastnight was fun fun! I met up with Christina..we proabably sat there for ten minutes just thinking of what to do. So eventually we decided to go to McDonald's which was pretty interesting. This little kid thought I was hawt and Christina threw frech fries at him. HAH we gotted the food and we ran into playland and ate in the little room with the plastic ball things. Don't do that though, I lost my big mac..oops? We played for awhile..of course. Me go to playland and not play? PSH hell naw. After McDonald's we just went out for a walk and got some ice cream..then we walked some more and of course, ended up in a park. We sat in the grass by the lake and just stayed there until our lives interfered. Damn lives. :D
kufdgdg RANDOMNESS! Rancid's new song is..different. It's not the best but it's alright. But Benji looks hawt in it. HAHAHA. :x
...hi everyone. I'm hyper. The end.
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[06 Aug 2003|11:34am] |
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music |
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"(I hate) everything about you"//three days grace |
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I ______ Pierre.
Pierre is ____.
I think Pierre should ______.
Pierre needs to ______.
I want to ____ Pierre.
If I have seen his picture(s), I think Pierre is _____.
In one word, I would describe Pierre as _____.
I can see Pierre being (a) ______ someday.
If I were alone in a room with Pierre, I would _____ him.
Someday Pierre will __________.
Pierre reminds me of _____.
Without Pierre, my life would be ______.
Pierre can be _______.
______ is how I describe meeting Pierre.
Worst thing about Pierre is _____.
Best thing about Pierre is that _________.
One thing I would change about Pierre is ______.
Pierre needs ________.
I am _______ with Pierre.
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[06 Aug 2003|09:57am] |
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mood |
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music |
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"beautiful"//Christina Aguilera |
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I was talking to Christina about our tours and when they'll be over and whatnot..we decided when warped is over I'd go catch up with her. So I'll be with her and Justin on tour...YAY! I get to annoy Justin shitless. I dunno when I'm going back to Canada
buses are fun for now..so, yeah. Her tour in the us is over the 24th I'll come home when she kicks me outta her bus. FOUR DAYS! Eh, I'm excited. I just couldn't sleep lastnight. heh I stayed up watching more disney movies and thinking....
oi vey...I'm thinking I need more sleep.
Christina, Je vous aime.
Later days,
Pie
( Christina )
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[04 Aug 2003|11:27am] |
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mood |
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content |
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Well..I did it. I showed how I really felt. Chuck and I are over and Christina and I are going to give us another chance. Chuck is surprisingly..okay with it. We're still best friends, like old days which is cool. I thought after what we went through he'd like hate me. Hopefully much won't change..the guy means a lot to me. Yeah, so we're getting divorced...today. Pretty damn soon but whatever. It's what he wanted.
[Kim just said it takes weeks..but I don't care, it's role play. Fuck the real world]
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[02 Aug 2003|11:19am] |
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Mkay...I need to talk to Chuck and Christina. So like..get on?
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[01 Aug 2003|10:06am] |
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mood |
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confused |
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music |
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"enigma"//TRAPT |
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You all know me..I'd cause myself pain over anyone else. Especially the people I love. I'd always be there to help a friend out and I'm an understanding guy. This is all what I'm told anyways..I hate breaking people's hearts and I feel I'm not worth it. Then again people fall in and out of love without control over it. I'm in love with two people. I'm married to one. I can't go on living the perfect life though when nothing seems right. I can't show off a fake smile anymore either. I kissed Cristina. I never was over her. I commited to marrying Chuck and it was a commitment I couldn't keep. I love him still. And I love her still. None of this is Christina's fault at all so don't try and make it hers. I'm causing them both hell right now probably...but trust me, it's not worse then what I'm causing myself.
So after breaking Chuck's heart and leaving him there crying which I really regret right now..I went out to drink. But something stopped me one of the promises I made him? So I wandered around..whever we were and ended up in the park. Christina and Lena found me at like six in the morning..I guess she remembered I liked parks? They found me under a bridge, but I wasn't sleeping. I couldn't sleep. I was in a trance and a different world. When they found me I was cold, crying and shaking. Lena took me back to our venue and I stayed in her car all morning..I don't know what I'm going to do two people want me..and I want them both. I know, I'm a jackass. But people have their opinions..can you please take yours and shove it up your ass? Thanks, that'd be great.
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[31 Jul 2003|09:26pm] |
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I really don't know what to say...I don't regret what I did. But then again it hasn't sunk in completely. Chuck, you're my best friend, my bandmate and my brother for life. Shit happens and I'm a prick. I don't want to lose you in every way
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