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[April 25 2003 || 1:58pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

ugh. people make me sick.

thats my lovely update.

4  had something to tell me

[April 24 2003 || 3:36pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]
[ music | christina aguilera - "fighter" ]

im just going around updating my journals.

yea, so hi.

2  had something to tell me

[April 23 2003 || 11:49am]
[ mood | sick ]
[ music | tapping the vein - "numb" ]

i have a free voice mail number that you all can call for FREE.. so you can leave me pretty messages. the number is 1 877 876 3073.

anyway, this spring break is kind of sucky. i ended up getting sick. its awful. right now im sitting at home doing nothing. its so much fun. blah.

i miss my long hair sometimes. i'll take a picture of what i look like now, when i can.. and i'll post it on here.

6  had something to tell me

[April 22 2003 || 8:55am]
[ mood | bitchy ]
[ music | kidneythieves - "before im dead" ]

my mom wants me to leave this site. im sorry, but im not going too. people can boot me off of this site, but i'll always find a way back onto it. if i cant, then i have another journal on here and i have 3 others i have to worry about. it doesnt matter anyway.

i have nothing else to say, so im done.

6  had something to tell me

[April 19 2003 || 9:23am]
[ mood | excited ]

went with tony to see the movie "chicago" yesturday. it was a beautiful movie. i love it. i want to get the soundtrack. i can't wait for it to come out on video. i'm definately going to get it. <3. its an awesome movie. if any of you haven't seen it yet, i suggest you go out and see it. its amazing.

tony and i are getting ready to go over his friend's house. her name is tina. i hear she's really nice. i can't wait to meet her. maybe i'll be able to make a new friend. :) who knows? i'm sure i'll have fun over her house. :D. it will be good to get out and meet new people.. which is something i should do more often.

i don't have anything else to write about, so i'm done. take care everyone.

19  had something to tell me

[April 17 2003 || 6:11pm]
[ mood | loved ]

guess who has a girlfriend? me. <3. i finally gathered up the courage and asked out kat. i'm so proud of myself for doing that. she's amazing, she's beautiful, and she means everything to me. she's my pretty kitty. :-* :-* :-* to kat. thank you for saying yes, baby. i heart you, sweetie. <3333.

anyway, im over tony's house right now. he and i might be going for a walk soon. it will be good to get out of this stuffy room and go outside, even though its probably chilly out there. its all good, though. i need the exercise. it will do me good. i need the fresh air, too. i don't get out much.

i got my hair cut and foiled today. i'm definately going to take pictures when i get the chance. it looks so cute. i love it. its definately different from the way i had it before. :) when i do take the pictures, i'll upload them to my site and show you all. :)

well, i have nothing more to write about, so i'm going to get going. take care everyone.

6  had something to tell me

[April 16 2003 || 2:52pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

today was an okay day at school, until gym was about to end. tony told me something that someone said and it got me really pissed off. i'm still pissed off about it. honestly, i wish certain people would just disappear or something. it would make the world a lot easier. i'm sick of people ending up hurting me in one way or another. i'm sick and tired of all the bullshit and games people put me through.

i need to download msn, so i can talk to my friends to use it. i'll download it when i get the time too. right now, i don't have the time. i don't even know when i'm going to get offline, actually. its all good, though. i know i'll download it within the next couple of days.

i'm going to be go over tony's house tomorrow. i can't wait. he and i are going to have a blast. we might hang out with his ex-girlfriend, tina, which should be cool. i haven't met tina, but she sounds really cool. maybe i'll be able to make a new friend. who knows?

i'm so bored, sitting here.. doing nothing. i guess its all good, though. i have nothing better to do. besides, i'm almost always bored whenever i'm online.. when no one is on aim to talk to. oh well.

i'm going to go update my personal journal. ta-ta.

11  had something to tell me

[April 15 2003 || 6:02pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

yay. i've finally got this damn thing back. <3. im so happy. i've been so bored without it. i still have to re-download msn, which sucks.. but its all good. i'm just really happy that i got the computer back. i've been going crazy without it. yes, i have. :D have you all missed me?

4  had something to tell me

[April 06 2003 || 12:29am]
[ mood | cheerful ]

another night spent at tony's house. he's the best. he's really helped me a lot this weekend. he makes me smile and laugh. im glad im friends with him. i dont know what id do without him. i'll definately ask him to resize the picture of him and myself, so i can show you guys what he looks like. <3. he's really cute, too.. even though he's really picky about the pictures he takes.

speaking about tony, he and i went to the industrial concert last night and it kind of sucked. almost everyone there was 18+, even though it was for all ages. there was alcohol there too, but they knew we were underage, so we couldn't drink. honestly, i didnt even want to drink anyway...im not much of a drinker, and i really dont want to be.

i was supposed to sleep over mallory's house tonight, but her mom said no at the last minute, which really sucked. its all good, though. im sure i'll be able to hang out with mallory soon. <3. mallory's awesome, too. i really hope tony, her, and myself can hang out sometime soon. maybe i'll invite them over my house soon. :D that would be cool. <3.

tony's planning on hosting me with his website. <3. i really want him too. ive never been able to make or manage my own website before, and its definately what i want to do. if i dont make the website, then i'll just ask him for storage... so i can place a bunch of pictures up, without having to delete pictures off of my boomspeed account. im not sure what i'll do yet. i really want to make a site, though.

just to let everyone know.. im getting my computer back on monday. at least, i think and hope i am. <3.

alright, im done.

- jessicunt.

3  had something to tell me

[April 04 2003 || 2:24pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

so, im getting ready for a concert tonight. im going with tony. <3. its a concert with industrial local bands. im hoping i can meet some people, maybe even make some friends. i really hope it wont suck. i like the way i look right now. its weird, yes.. because i dont normally dress the way i'm dressed right now, but i like it a lot.

im not as depressed asi was.. over the whole kris thing. i mean, why should i keep wanting someone who doesnt want me back? whats the point in that? honestly, it pisses me off more then it makes me depressed. whatever though. i'm not going to stress over it anymore. its pointless to stress over it.

- jessicunt.

4  had something to tell me

[April 04 2003 || 10:23am]
[ mood | depressed ]

after this weekend, im going to go away. im going to talk to my mom and see if i can go away for awhile. i know exactly where im going to go. i cant keep getting hurt, then thinking about cutting myself... i can't do that. i cant make her let me do that to me, but she does.

does she enjoy hurting me? this is the second fucking time she has and i'm sick of it. she has no idea how the hell i feel right now, and i bet she's laughing her ass off at how upset i am over her.

my friends told me that her girlfriend decided to bitch them out.. which is wrong, and that does piss me off. they're only trying to tell her how much i'm hurting inside and how much they don't like it. whatever though.

i give up. i give up on myself. i give up on everything.

6  had something to tell me

[April 02 2003 || 6:55am]
[ mood | good ]

so, im in school right now. i'm able to use the internet here again, and i'm so happy that i can. <3. i've been going insane with out it. i just have to be more careful and what-not. yes yes.

anyway, today is my birthday. <3. i'm finally 16. i cant believe it. today has sucked though, and its probably going to suck even more because i'm not going to get presents. it feels like its just another day or something. i sound greedy when i say i want presents. :\ i guess i just want it to feel like its my birthday... or something.

im so bored. i cant wait til i get my computer at home fixed. i miss it already, even though the school computers are better then my computer at home. oh well. i guess its all good... or something.

yea, i'm done now.

14  had something to tell me

[March 31 2003 || 5:42am]
[ mood | creative ]

picture time!

more on the way. ;D

I am not a happy person. I don't like life,
I am always in pain, and I need it to go away.
I wish someone would understand.

What Goddamnit song are you?

5  had something to tell me

[March 31 2003 || 4:27am]
[ mood | horny ]

so, im over tony's house and i havent slepet yet. he's gonna beat my ass. he told me to get some sleep, but i've been online all night, roleplaying with kris. <3. kris is the best, ever. so is tony. they rock my world. kris rocks my bed though. ;D

god, im so fucking cold. oh well. maybe i'll warm up later or something. oh well. why the hell is it so damn cold in here? and why the hell do i always seem to catch something whenever i stay at tony's house? maybe i should start wearing hoodies and shit, and not tank tops. oh well.

took new pictures today. i kind of look cute. i will definately ask tony to post them when he gets the chance,.. if he can. im hoping he'll host me on his site, so i can have my own little webpage. how cool would that be? <3.

fucking hell im so cold. it snowed. its lame. i didnt want it to snow. damn snow. dkfjdskfjkdsg. oh yea, and my birthday is on wednesday. <33333333. oh, and Im seeing Chicago tomorrow with Tony. The soundtrack rocks. I cant wait to see the movie! <3.

alright, im gonna go back talk to kris. tata. !

can't hold us down
You are...Cant hold us down. Wow, you're a kick-ass
chick and won't let any man take advantage of

Which Christina Aguilera song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

had something to tell me

[March 28 2003 || 2:41pm]
[ mood | relaxed ]

im doing a lot better then i was on wednesday. thank you to everyone who cared. i owe you guys so much. you guys are definately the best. i love you all. <3.

today was actually a good day for me in school. my probation officer stopped in and told me that i get off probabtion on wednesday, my birthday. i can not believe it. i've been on probation for over a year, because of not going to school. the reason why she's dropping my case is because i'm turning sixteen, and by law.. the school can't force me to go to school... only my mom can. i'm really happy that its being dropped. i've been doing so good, so i know i'm not going to go back to missing school. i'm happy i'm getting off of probation, because now i can feel free.

i beat bloodrayne last night, which sucks because it leaves me with nothing to do when i get offline. oh well. maybe i'll get back into writing or something. sure, i still write... but i want to get working on a story. i haven't sat down and written a story in a long time. maybe i'll brainstorm ideas while i'm online. yea, that actually sounds like a good idea. <3.

pretty little survey. )

7  had something to tell me

[March 26 2003 || 3:05pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

i was so depressed today. i took my keys and i tried to cut my wrists with them. i'm actually thinking about going into the bathroom, taking a razor, and cutting somewhere on my body. somewhere.. where no one will ask questions about it. i want to take a razor to my wrist, but people will ask me questions about it, if i wear a short sleeved shirt. maybe i'll just wear my hoodie or something. i dont know.

im going to ask my mom if i can stay home tomorrow. i doubt she'll let me, but im going to try and ask her. yea, i'll be bored out of my mind, but its better then being in school. its better then wanting to go home while i'm in school, and have no way to get home.

i really want to spend this weekend with tony. i really need to sit down and talk to him. he helps me out, a lot. plus, i haven't really spent much time with him. i'm also going to try and bring some stuff with me.. when i go to sleep over his house. maybe his mom can pick me up on saturday. if not, then i can see if she'll pick us up from school on friday. i just dont want to get caught with anything while i'm in school. if i do, i'll be screwed.

alright, i'm done. i think im going to go lay down in my room. maybe i'll fall asleep or something.. get my mind off of wanting to cut myself. yea.

7  had something to tell me

[March 25 2003 || 2:41pm]
[ mood | bored ]

ugh. i'm not able to go on the computer at school for a week, just because i went on this website when i wasn't supposed to. how lame is that? i'm pissed off. god, my school is so lame. i know if i was at a regular school, i'd be able to go on this site without getting into trouble.. but no, i have to go to an "alternative" school and get into trouble for going on this site. whatever, man.

i'm not going to be able to get on the computer next tuesday for about a week, because my mom is going to go get it fixed. i don't mind not having the computer, because it really needs to get fixed. it sucks ass right now. hopefully, it will be a hell of a lot better when its fixed.

my birthday is next wednesday. i still haven't written out a birthday list. maybe thats what i'll do later on tonight, or something. i can't wait to be sixteen. i can't wait to go birthday shopping. mom and yosef are planning something special for next saturday for jason and i... and i really want to know what it is, but its a surprise. blah. i'm not too fond of surprises, honestly. oh well.

i want to go somewhere this weekend. i have nothing to do. maybe i'll invite tony over, or maybe i can go over tony's house over the weekend. i just want something to do this weekend, besides sit at home and do nothing. i don't know. i'll probably make plans on thursday with tony, or something. maybe i'll try and make plans with mallory, but i have a feeling she'll be hanging out with meagan this weekend. i would make plans to hang out with meagan and mallory, but they'll probably be hanging out with their boyfriend's.

alright, i'm done.

- jessicunt.

2  had something to tell me

[March 24 2003 || 12:06pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

so, im not supposed to be on this site right now, but i don't really care. my principal says that this is a "private" site, and that kids shouldn't go on it while we are at school. fxck that. i think its a stupid rule. i swear, soon.. we wont be able to do a god damn thing in this school. they'll tell us all its too "personal" and shxt. i think i might not be able to go online while i'm in school for a week, and if thats true.. i am going to raise hell. i dont give a fxck what people say about it, or think about it... but you never ever ever ever want to take away the internet from me.

i want to go home already. i'm so bored. i still have 95 minutes until i get out of here, damnit. i don't think i can last that long, man. i feel like im going crazy. i feel like im going insane. i need to go home, now. home = heaven. <3. i must go play bloodrayne and try to beat it, before it has to be returned tonight.

im going to get going before i get into trouble for being on this mother fxcking site.

- jessicunt.

4  had something to tell me

[March 23 2003 || 10:04am]
[ mood | okay ]

first off, i would like to say that i have an obsession with joel madden. i think he's sexy and hot. i dont care if you think he's ugly or whatever, because it doesnt matter. what does matter is that i think he is fucking hot and i want him. kthnx.

i want to go play bloodrayne, my awesome vampire game, but my brothers are still sleeping and thats where the playstation2 is. damnit. oh well. i just have to wait until they wake up. im sure they'll be in up the next couple of hours though, which is cool... i can wait.

im kind of bored. im talking to tony on aim right now. im explaining about the feeling i have deep down inside of me.. the feeling that this person i care for so much... is lying to me about something. tony thinks that the person is. i don't know what i should do. i dont know if i should follow those feelings... or what. i dont know.

im going to end this here. i'm thirsty. i want some coffee milk. <3

- jessicunt.

18  had something to tell me

[March 22 2003 || 6:57pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

i went out with mom today and did grocery shopping. we spent over $500. it was cool though, because we got a lot of stuff. it was kind of boring, but it was fun. we went out for breakfast, and i saw someone from school. it was weird. all in all, we did have fun, which was cool. :D i want to go out with mom more often. she and i have a lot of fun.

im not in the best mood right now. i feel like someone i know is lying to me.. lying about the feelings that they feel for me.. lying about certain things they've said to me. the person also flirts with others as well, which hurts a lot. i just don't know how to tell the person. i dont want to piss them off or anything... even though im pretty good at doing that. i dont know. i just feel hurt right now. i tried to talk to the person today, but we didnt say anything to each other, which sucked. sigh. i dont know.

im probably going to go to bed soon. maybe i can fall asleep and sleep forever. that would be the best thing right now.

16  had something to tell me

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