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[27 Jan 2003|08:20pm] |
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i want to have sex with minkymonkey
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[26 Jan 2003|03:50pm] |
I'm not gonna update in this anymore because I have decided to keep my newer poems personal.
rock on.
xoxo; gaby.
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| "Ice, Ice Baby" |
[18 Jan 2003|10:16pm] |
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So come on and get it over with. I know you hate me, so come on and say it. It'd make me feel so much better. It'll be like the days when you said "we should be together". But it's different this time. Somehow I'll make you mine. You can use your fingers as a substitute for your mouth. It'll be like the days when we were inlove. So come on and get it over with. Spit your hate back in my mouth. You said you'd trace your footsteps back to my arms but I don't know why you won't. Remember when you said I was your everything? Isn't that what you said? Oh please. I know you want me inside your heart instead.
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| "Caleb Sings A Song" |
[14 Jan 2003|09:26pm] |
I'm just gonna stay here seated in his shadow. Hey, I guess it's better than nothing. The darkness of his shadow is a miilion times better than the light. But it hurts that he doesn't know. But when he turns around, his eyes slide over and catch mine. And I love the way his hands drop to his sides. It tells me that he's not gonna turn around this time. I keep my eyes from looking down to the floor, and I get myself up with all that i'm worth. And he keeps his eyes from looking to the ground, and I search into his eyes painted brown. It tells me this time that he's not kidding around. His hand clutched my wrist, he pulled me in, and he gave me a kiss.
He sat next to me, and counted from 1 to 3. And Caleb sings a song for me. He said he hates this, but inside he loves this. At this point, nothing can go wrong. Caleb sings a song for me, oh Caleb sings a song.
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| "Yor Gonna Spend Sunday Nights Alone" |
[13 Jan 2003|05:36pm] |
We were watching the sun set on my rooftop, and we were laughing old summer jokes and a party we had. I could feel him getting closer, and I wasn't sure if I wanted him.. but he'd be great to have. he said "Gaby, do you think we could fall inlove tonight?" and I said "Well, Im not sure if I can answer that right."
He grew silent, and we walked away. I wish he could have stayed. I can feel my moods turning inside my head. I feel so guilty, yeah, Im so guilty. But he has to deal witn my lies instead.
And all I keep thinking is "Why didn't I chase after him?" yeah, why didn't I chase after him?
"Get yourself up, and follow him home! Call out his name befofe his hand turns the door knob", I said, and I said it out loud to reassure myself. I got nowhere, and now hes there by himself.
The final thougts that crossed my were "You hurt him, and you hurt yourself. All you could of borrowed from his was an extra minute. But you're gonna stay here and let him leave tomorrow - wow, you're such a fucking idiot."
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| "Teenagers Can Fall Inlove Too" |
[12 Jan 2003|09:16pm] |
Fall is here again, and I can tell that the tears you've cried, were directed towards me. So I looked right in his eyes and I said "are you feeling lonely?" Then he took me in his arms... and he said "well, this is where you belong"
If I ever need you, I know where you are. We'll catch the stars that fall in my backyard. So lable us lovers, 'cause everyone knows. I swear he wants me and he knows that it shows.
Tell me when you're alone so I can put my hands on you. Tell me when you're feeling sad so I can comfort you. Ans let your hands slide from your pockets and travel to my cheeks.
..you could be the one that completes me.
If I ever need you, I know where you are. We'll catch the stars that fall in my backyard. So lable us lovers, 'cause everyone knows. He swears I wants him and I know that it shows.
None of you can't say were inlove, just because were teenagers and we know who we want.
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| "Never Swoon Over a Boy Who Doesn't Love You" |
[07 Jan 2003|08:33pm] |
I would sit beside him and kiss him, like I always wanted to.
But I wont. "Dont say you hate me baby", I said. "Cause inside, I know you don't."
He's my everything. And I know he means what he says.
Oh let me get inside your head.
Let me be a part of you. Tell me the truth than what it seems.
Come on and fall inlove with me.
What am I to you? Let me wrap my arms around you.
You make me fall so hard for you.
If you're so right, then don't get me wrong.
Let me fall into your arms. Oh let me fall into your arms.
If you decide to hate me, then I will too.
Yeah if you decide to hate me, then so let it be.
I'll hate myself for being me.
Oh my god, it's so hard to breathe.
And it's so hard to say "Yeah, baby, I'm inlove."
Baby, let me wake up where you are.
What am I to you? Let me wrap my arms around you.
You make me fall so hard for you.
If you're so right, then don't get me wrong.
Let me fall into your arms. Oh let me fall into your arms.
Please grab hold on my hand. I want to feel it tingle.
Please grab hold of my hand. I want to feel it tingle.
(Note: Yes, this was dedicated, to a nice young man named Kenny. yeah. I was feeling a brief moment of love. haha.)
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| "But I Crawl Back" |
[03 Jan 2003|08:51pm] |
I want to run away
I want to run away
I want to run away
from him.
"When I say I love you, I want it to hurt. But come over here and kiss me first." I crawled into his arms, and i let him have me. I'm all his, and there I am. I wanted him to take my heart and step on it. I wanted him to break it. He said he wasn't gonna listen to what I say. But I want him to be my first heart break. "I want you to bleed when you say you want me." he said. "But when I'm mad I want you to kiss me." And I thought to myself..
I want to run away
I want to run away
I want to run away
From him.
Hold me, baby. Hold me.
(Hold me, hold me, hold me, hold me.)
Hate me because you love me.
Yeah, hate me because you love me.
I want to run away, but I crawl back.
I crawl back into his arms. And I crawl back into his arms.
And I crawl back into his arms. And I crawl back into his arms.
(Note: This one sucked. yes.)
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| "The One That Makes You Cry" |
[02 Jan 2003|10:51pm] |
Why don't you kiss me now, because I know you'll make me leave. He said no, as to make me feel stupid, but I wasn't. He said "I'll push you out when my bed is destroyed and the breath is out of me." He's beautiful. His blonde hair was shiney and his blue eyes were as blue as the sky. He said "Let me be the one who makes you cry." I pressed my hands against his and the window was open blowing in a cold wind. His lips are so soft. I said "When I say stop, don't listen."
When I say stop, don't listen.
When I say stop.. don't listen.
When I say stop.... don't.
Yeah, I could stay here forever. This small room is.. heaven. And I love when he says it. "Let me be the one who makes you cry." I'd comfort the tears... that make me feel warm inside. I could lay here forever. This small room is.. heaven. I'd keep holding onto his body till it goes to waste. And there's nothing better than the way his lips taste. And all I kept hearing was..
When I say stop, don't listen.
When I say stop.. don't listen.
When I say stop.... no, don't.
He is my.. everything. And in the quiet, I can hear his heart beating in his chest. I think I wanna die in this bed.
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| "The Next Time I See You" |
[02 Jan 2003|06:00pm] |
Im going to put my heart back on the table, and I'm going to leave my door open all night because I have a feeling you're gonna want to come back and get it. Maybe I was wrong. Yeah, but I'll deal with it. And the next time I see you, I'll pinch your skin to make you realize how much I'm HURTING. Yeah, I'm hurting.
And the next time I see you, I'll know not to cry, because your words are worth a million lies. Oh Christopher, when you walk out the door, kiss me on the ear. So maybe the blood will rush to my head, and for once, I can let you go instead.
I'm too dumb to realize how smart you are. It's true, I know. And I'm too stupid to realize you're all I am and I can't let go. Oh I saw it coming. My heart dropped to my stomach, and I knew exactly what was gonna happen. And the next time I see you, I'll pinch your skin to make you realize how much I'm HURTING! Yeah, I'm hurting.
And the next time I see you, I'll know not to cry, because your words are worth a million lies. Oh Christopher, when you walk out the door, kiss me on the ear. So maybe the blood will rush to my head, and for once, I can let you go instead.
Oh come on baby, let's take it all the way. Yeah get ontop of me, and slide your hands around my neck. It's not like you loved me anyway.
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| "My Imagination Is A Whore" |
[30 Dec 2002|01:50am] |
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I was by myself looking out through my window that headed out to a pretty view of Jacob's backyard. He was sitting on the pavement drinking some root beer with Shelly. She's so beautiful, i can see why he likes her. Yeah, I'll never be as pretty as her, though. I ducked my head a little so he couldn't see me in the window. If that was me next to him, i'd kiss him so hard. And if i could - I'd get a high enough ladder to the sky, and give him the stars. And when i gave a second look, he was alone. I could tell he was lonely, and i could tell she went home. And oh man, I wanted to throw him down in the dirt and say "come on baby, don't you wanna tear apart my shirt?" yeah, he'd just get ontop of me and put his hands on my knees. He'd just kiss my stomache and get a little lower to get a hold of the heat. But it's cold in here in my room. And the thought of his animosity turned my face looking sour. So i shut my shades when he went in, and i burried my face inside my pillow and cried for hours.
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| "Flowers For Billy" |
[28 Dec 2002|11:54pm] |
I think i'm going to leave some flowers on your door step..
with a letter inside that says "i hate you".
Just let me go cry, just let me get lost.
It's no big deal, is it? I guess not.
It's no big deal, is it? no, it's not!
As a matter of fact, I think i'll stay on this door step.
I'll wait till you get home.
I'm so sick of being alone.
maybe you'll see me and run over to kiss me.
I've been dying to kiss taste your lips again.
Yeah, and i guess i'll keep wishing.
Me and my stupid thinking..
You walk up the porch stairs,
but you can't see me because i'm hiding in your shadow.
just ONE goodbye would be fine for now.
But it's no big deal, is it?
No, i guess not.
But it's no big deal, is it?
No, it's not!
I would run into your house right now,
but i'm too scared.
I would tell you how much i care.
I would say "get ontop of me, and give me a kiss.
Tell me that you love me, baby.
and this time, you'll mean it."
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| "Jonathan Puts His Arms Around Me" |
[23 Dec 2002|02:30pm] |
His eyes were staring right in mine.
He laughed so gently, and he shows his teeth when he smiles.
I told him I liked him, he looked so sweet, but with no say.
Inside, I know he's laughing, and he wants to walk away.
Jonathan puts his arms around me
He doesn't know h bad this could be
Jonathan puts his arms around me
But I know inside he hates me
I can't say I was joking, because he knows I wouldn't lie.
It's okay that he feels like this, I guess.
I wonder how he'd feel if I died..
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| A Million Dreams Out Of Massachusetts |
[10 Dec 2002|09:32pm] |
So here I am. A spec of nothing to you.
I keep hearing the words "I hate you, I really do."
But I guess that's alright.
The ghost of the old you still haunts me.
It wanders in my soul.
And when I go to sleep, it's there in my dreams.
And all I keep thinking these lonely nights is "What did I do?"
Yeah, what did I do? What did I do to hurt you?
So I guess my answer is NOTHING.
And I guess i'm left with nothing.
Okay, just nothing.
If i could do anything, I'd get you and I in a car.
We'd drive a million miles away from Massachusetts, just you and me.
You can just drop me off anywhere.
The ride with you would be all I need.
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| He's Psycho. |
[03 Dec 2002|05:21pm] |
I run in his arms, and i'm sick of lying.
I tell him I love him and I think I'm dying..
and nothings going right. I just need you by my side.
He shuts off his porch light, and it's dark inside.
He grabbed me by my rm and he said "baby you're right."
and he says "no, let's not lie. no, let's not lie."
Love blows through the door and blows out the candles.
and I am relieved because there's something I can finally take.
yeah there's something I can finally handle.
There's nothing but darkness inside his room..
and I think he's fucking drunk.
He pulls me close to him by my shoulders and he says i'm the one.
He's taken my heart, and I know he's inlove.
I never knew a person could mean so much.
I remember every word he's said.
He's so pretty and he's fucked in the head.
He's a loser, but he's the one for me.
I love him so much I don't know what it means.
I still have every letter you sent.
yeah he's a psycho and I'm his girlfriend.
yeah.. he's a psycho and i'm his girlfriend.
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| Put Me In A Coma, Please. |
[28 Nov 2002|11:46pm] |
The words come out of your mouth, and slide of your tongue.
You speak to the girl next to me on the bus.
You say, "really baby, I'm inlove."
And at this point, I'd love to cut your fucking tongue out,
and stab her in the heart.
My stomach feels nautious has the bus hits the curb.
I hide my face as the tears roll. This is how bad it hurts.
I picture him, and his lips are on mine.
We lay there, just ignoring time.
Our hearts control the lust that we share, but it's obvious you don't care.
You take this image out of my head, and spit on it.
Let's pretend I'm dead for a while, so I can forget this.
And once I wake up, I'll wipe the sweat off my forehead, and push you aside.
I'll wipe the tears from under my eyes, and I'll start a new life.
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| Elmer's Glue Cannot Glue My Pieces Together |
[24 Nov 2002|01:00pm] |
I think I know wht Jesi was thinking last friday afternoon.
I asked what was wrong, he said nothing, ofcourse.
And then he said we were through. (yeah, he said we were through)
His long black hair was blowing in the breeze, he looked so pretty that day.
I asked what was wrong, he said nothing, ofcourse.
And then he walked away.
Forever broken, forever broken.
When you're going away, tel me where you're going.
Forever lonely, forever lonely.
Before you leave, please tell me that you love me.
His skin so smoothe, his eyes so wide.
When he looks at me, I feel warm inside.
I know what he was thinking when he left that afternoon.
The last thing he said was "I'll call you soon"
Forever falling, forever falling.
Talk to me, so I know when you're calling.
Forever broken, forever broken.
When you leave, please tell me where you're going.
Forever lonely, forever FUCKING lonely.
Before you leave, please tell me that you love me.
And I think i know what Jesi was thinking last friday afternoon.
He got on the train, I saw him go, he left a minute too soon.
(yeah, he left a minute too soon.)
Forever broken, forever broken.
When you go away, tell me where you're going.
Forever lonely, forever lonely.
Before you leave, please tell me that you love me.
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| Johnny's Getting High. |
[24 Nov 2002|01:13am] |
I told Johnny to put on the radio, so I can sing while I cry.
Johnny says he loves me, but I know it's just a lie.
Everything was so great, all my secrets you kept.
I let you use me that one night, when we fucked in Joe's basement.
I told Johnny to say its alright, because I'm afraid of dying.
He said it's okay, but I'll deal with it for now.. because inside, I know
hes lying. I'll lay on my bed, I'll feel miserable, I'll continue to cry.
He doesn't care, he doesn't listen, he's in the bathroom getting high.
I told Johnny to put on the radio so I can sing while I cry.
He drives under the dry sun, I let the wind blow in my face..
and we just rock out.
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| Get Out Of My Bedroom. |
[24 Nov 2002|01:09am] |
You look good in my dress.
Let's forget about this mess.
You look good in my make up.
I wish I was you, even though you suck.
You look good in the things I wear.
I said I hated you, even though I care.
You look so pretty in my skin, even though I'm ugly within.
Your lip is bleeding, your lip is bleeding.
I punched you in the face.
Your nose is bleeding, your nose is bleeding.
I kicked you in the face!
Get out of my bedroom, just get out of my bedroom.
I like it on my own.
Get out of my bedroom, just get out of my bedroom.
Then I'll leave you alone.
I made you bleed on my white dress.
Let's wash off this mess.
I made you cry on my make up.
I wanna be like you so bad..
Even though you suck.
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